Tony’s not freaking out.
He’s not.
Okay, so maybe he was freaking out a little bit.
But could you blame him? He’d just had a freaking curse put on him for fuck’s sake. He’s allowed to freak out a little.
“So, if Stark doesn’t get laid in the next twenty four hours, he dies?” Clint asked.
“He doesn’t just need to have sexual intercourse,” Coulson said. “It needs to be with someone who hasn’t previously... ahem, done the deed.”
Clint stared blankly. “He needs to screw a virgin?”
“That is correct.”
“Well, we need to get a virgin in here then.” Bruce said.
“It’s not that easy.” Natasha said. “We can’t just broadcast that we need to borrow the nearest virgin on television.”
“Plus,” Tony swallowed dryly. “It kinda sounds like a bad pickup line. Can I have your virginity? I’ll die without it.”
“Not the time for jokes, Stark.” Coulson said.
“Hey, it’s my deathbed.” Tony said. “I’ll make jokes if I want.”
“I would gladly go to Asgard and find a maiden for you, Brother Tony!” Thor clapped a hand down on Tony’s shoulder. “One would surely make a fine lover.”
“Thanks for the offer, Thor,” Tony said. “But the curse specifically said human. So no Asgardians.”
“I am sorry,” Thor said. “I truly thought we had found a solution.”
“Can’t we just go to Avengers Tower?” Clint asked. “One of the girls down there must be a willing participant.”
“But how do we know they’re a virgin?” Natasha said. “They might just lie to sleep with Stark.”
“Most people just aren’t virgins anymore,” Bruce said. “Most virgins are underage as well.”
“Oh my God,” Tony stood up. “I need to go lay down.”
He walked out of the conference room and walked down the hall. He stopped in front of Maria Hill’s desk.
“Hey,” He said. “Do you have a room with a bed?”
She raised an eyebrow but thankfully didn’t question him. She probably knew what was going on. “Down the hall and to the right.”
“Thanks,” Tony followed her directions and found the room.
He sighed and flopped down on the uncomfortable cot, throwing an arm over his eyes.
He laid there for a few minutes contemplating his imminent death when he heard the door open.
“Hey, I’m trying to rest here- Oh.” Tony sat up. “It’s you.”
“Uh, yeah.” Steve stood there, looking slightly uncomfortable. “So, um... I heard.”
“Yep,” Tony cracked an unconvincing smile and spread his hands. “Ironic isn’t it? I sleep with everything on the planet and I get this curse?”
“Yeah,” Steve cast his eyes around the room. “So, um... I’d like to offer my services.”
Tony stared blankly. “What?”
“Well,” Steve said, not making eye contact. “I heard and thought I could help.” He stripped off his t-shirt and threw it on the floor.
“Help how?” Tony asked in confusion.
Steve’s hand went to his belt and he finally looked Tony in the eye. “You need a virgin, right?”
Tony’s mouth went dry.
He nodded and Steve undid his belt buckle.
He pushed his pants to the floor and revealed boxers. He looked pointedly at Tony. “You might wanna remove your clothes too.”
“Yeah,” Tony stood up, hands flying to his tie. “Yeah, you’re right.”
He undid his tie and threw it on the bed, other hand already tugging at the buttons on his shirt.
Steve crossed the room at worked at his belt, tugging his pants down as Tony flung his shirt off.
Tony looked up and kissed Steve, hot and wet. He moved a hand to the back of Steve’s neck to pull him closer, licking into his mouth.
Steve’s hands went to Tony’s waist and brought their hips together. Tony whined when he felt Steve’s cock rub against his.
“So, how do you wanna...” Tony trailed off when Steve bit his lip.
“You’ve done this with a man before?” Steve asked.
“Uh, yeah,” Tony said. “I’m not picky. Oh god, that sounded terrible, what I meant was-”
Steve huffed a laugh. “It’s fine, I just meant, you’ve uh, been the one giving, not just receiving, right?”
“Oh,” Tony said in surprise. “Yes.”
“Okay, um, are you good with that?” Steve asked.
Tony’s eyes shone in amusement. “Are you a bottom?”
“Yes,” Steve said in a mixture of amusement and exasperation. “Don’t make me regret this, alright?”
Tony waved his hands in surrender. “Nope, no regret, just sex me.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Fine.”
He kissed him again, deeper.
Tony ran a hand through Steve’s hair, (seriously how long had he been waiting to do that?) and felt just how silky the strands were and they threaded through his fingers.
Steve moaned and pushed gently until he was laying down on the bed with Steve straddling his thighs.
Tony huffed in surprise and settled back into kissing Steve and moving a hand to the waistband of his boxers.
“Wait!” He said. “We don’t have lube.”
Steve ducked his head and blushed. “I, uh, kind of came prepared.”
He reached over and grabbed his jeans from the floor and pulled a small tube out of the pocket. He held it in front of Tony. “Enough?”
“Plenty.” Tony took the tube and his hands went to Steve’s boxers. “You may want to get rid of these.”
Steve leaned back a bit and slid the boxers off before tossing them away. “Here let me.”
Tony shrugged and squirted some lube on Steve’s fingers.
Tony watched as Steve reached behind himself.
Steve bit his lip in concentration as he pushed one finger inside of himself, moving slowly in and out.
“Oh,” Steve tilted his head back as he added another finger.
Tony groaned and pressed the heel of his hand into his cock.
“Tony,” Steve moaned and leaned down to kiss Tony.
Tony kissed up into Steve’s mouth and squirted more lube out onto his own fingers.
He reached behind Steve and added his own finger against Steve’s.
Steve shuddered and pulled his fingers out coming up to fist the blanket next to Tony’s head.
Tony quickly added more fingers, moving at a steady pace in and out.
“Tony,” Steve gasped into his mouth. “Tony, I’m ready.”
Tony got more lube and slicked up his cock. He lined up the head of his cock to Steve’s hole.
Before he could press in, Steve sank down onto his cock.
Tony almost came right then and there.
Steve leaned down to kiss Tony before lifting up and slamming back down.
Tony groaned as Steve rocked on his cock.
“Steve,” He groaned, eyes closed. “Are you sure you’re a virgin?”
Steve huffed a laugh. “Pretty sure.”
“Where did you-ah!” Tony gripped his hips. “Where did you learn to do this?”
“I practiced.” Steve grinned. “Bought some stuff.”
“You did not.” Tony stared.
Steve nodded. “Yep.” He leaned down to whisper into Tony’s ear. “I particularly like this one they called ‘Iron Man.’”
Tony cried out and thrust up into Steve.
Steve yelped and rode him harder, bracing himself on Tony’s chest.
Tony could feel Steve’s prostate dragging against his cock and he thrust up to hit it harder, slamming into Steve’s hole.
Steve cried out as he came over Tony’s chest, his hole tightening around Tony’s cock.
Tony groaned and came too with a jerk of his hips.
They laid there panting, trying to catch a breath.
Steve’s palms were still braced on Tony’s chest and he looked down. “So, um... that was fun.”
Tony laughed. “Yeah.” He looked up hopefully. “Maybe we could, uh, do it again some time?”
Steve leaned down and kissed Tony, gently threading his fingers through his hair. Tony ran his hands down Steve’s spine.
“Tony we found a way you could- OH MY GOD!” The door burst open and Steve wrenched back from Tony.
There stood Clint, a horrified expression on his face. He clapped a palm to cover his eyes. “MY EYES! MY EYES!”
He slammed the door shut and they heard him run down the hall.
They could hear his shouts of “OH MY GOD SOMEONE GET ME BLEACH! MY EYES!”
Tony chuckled and shouted, “Thanks Clint, but I found my own way!”