Chapter 8
Part 2
(Previously) Gwen stares at her accusingly, but none of that surprises her, she pursed her lips : "Dr sharpe.." Luna removed her hand from Gwen's and looked at Helen with eyes wide open…
"Mummy?" Luna said in a breath. Max guided Helen to them, a hand on her back, he didn’t let her alone, his attention entirely on her. "I didn't know you were….still around! How long has it been?"
“Gwen“ Max says, but the old woman continues without giving him a look or giving them time to answer.
"Are you two back together? If yes, I hope all this time spent... umm... away from... anyway, for how long are you here? in Geneva?" she asks, looking Helen up and down.“Gwen stop talking…” Max says, pointing out Luna's presence. Then he turns to Helen whispering in her ear. "Don't answer" causing the old lady to turn red with frustration. Feeling her gaze on her, Helen readjusts Max's shirt around her body, then turns to Luna which has not moved.
"Hey munchkin…" Helen said with a shaking voice, waving her hand. Max watches Helen’s reflection in Luna, as the little girl mimicking her movement but not moving. She hugged her stuffed toy, not taking her eyes off Helen. Helen's eyes fell on the cuddly toy and she remembered with emotion that she had given it to her, shortly before everything happened.
The awkwardness lingered in the air for some time before the little girl breaks the silence, and the words coming out of the four-year-old's mouth are quite disconcerting. "Didn’t you love me anymore?" The little girl asked and did not look away from her. There was not a hint of emotion in her tone. She wasn't angry or as nervous or upset. It was all flat. Helen's face turned pale. She look at luna, completely bemused by this question. Ultimately took a deep breath with her eyes shut. It appeared that she was bracing herself. When she opened her eyes, she clearly and slowly answered, "I do. I do, Lu. I do love you more than anything. But, you know-…”
Remembering that she wasn't alone with luna but that Gwen was only waiting for one thing from her, Helen immediately said to herself that this conversation must be a one-to-one with Luna only. It hurt more than she imagined. After Luna said those words, it appeared as though the air was voluntarily leaving her lungs. She could not breathe, and there was tightness in her chest that she could not ease. Immediately, she wondered if Luna felt the same pain months ago. she felt like a fool all over again for hurting them.
“Can we talk privately later?" Helen asks to Luna. “Please?” Luna nods and suddenly runs into Helen's arms. Leaned over and hugged her daughter. Luna hugged back, sending tiny jolts of happy electricity throughout her mum’s body. The way luna accepted her embrace felt warm and welcoming.
"Dr sharpe? " Gwen broke the moment between them. "May I ask you something?" Gwen asked, turning in her direction. "They say love is better the second time around.? Why should we give a second chance to someone who has done so much pain? Why is that ?"The atmosphere of the house had altered, it felt tense and silent.
Helen froze, staring at Max then Luna, then shuddered, feeling chills down her spine. For seconds, she remained silent, gawking at Gwen. "You are right Mrs Benett, how concerned of you." Then she glanced at Max again. Helen was taken aback. She gulped air down her throat before finding the words to say, "Well, Mrs Benett. I think second chances work better because we learn from previous mistakes." Her mouth parted for some time until she promised, "I won't make the same mistakes again. I won't." She says as she watches luna. Gwen blinked "I was just thinking, you know - hypothetically. I don't mean anything by it."
"Sure." Helen smiled. "I love her, I love them. I always will. And that's not hypothetical. I’m not going anywhere" Returning her attention to Max and looked at luna with tender eyes. Gwen’s mouth twitched, her eyes further thinning at Helen then Max. Luna looked at her mum. "I still love you so much mummy. So so much" Luna said looking at Helen tenderly, emotions in the eyes. Helen’s heart melted.
"Would you like to watch me play the piano mummy? I've made great progress. isn't it dada?"
"Yes baby, you're so good at it" Max said, eyes starting to water. There was a glow on his face that Helen could not describe. Extending her hand to Luna, the little girl took it and before she leads her mum to the piano, Gwen moved towards them.
"It's time for me to go." placing a kiss on Luna's forehead. "See you in the morning, sweetie?"
Luna Pouts. "Why this face Lu?" Her grandma asks "I wanted to show Mum my school and the dance studio, and my favorite park and-".
"Oh, I see," Gwen says, looking at Max to intervene. "Lu baby, Grandma's leaving the day after tomorrow and tomorrow will be your last day together. I think it would be nice to spend time with her. What do you think? " Max tries
"And don't forget, we've got our sleepover tomorrow night." Gwen tries to persuade her, But the little girl doesn't seem convinced and she can't take her eyes off Helen’s. Helen immediately understood why luna didn't want to spend the day with Gwen. The little girl was afraid she would disappear again. So, she moves slowly towards luna, kneeled in front of her, wrapped her hands around her knees and whispers something in her ear. Luna's eyes light up immediately, her mouth wide open; "Really? you promise?"
"I promise, Lu " says Helen, rising to her feet. "Grandma, you can pick me up after breakfast," says luna with a big smile. "I suppose what Dr Sharpe told you changed your mind pretty quickly?" Gwen said, slightly annoyed.
"Yes, and it's a secret between mummy and I. Bye grandma" says Luna before turning quickly to the piano. “Okay see you tomorrow Lu... Max... Dr Sharpe”
"Sit next to me and watch me mummy." Helen leaned in and pecked Max’s cheek. He smiles, moved closer and kissed her lips, She kissed back and they pull away, grinning.
"Okay munchkin. Let’s play."
***
The way her voice was full of emotion, the tears so long held back had finally rolled down her cheeks as luna's eyes pierced into hers. It hadn't been easy to explain to luna why she'd left them. it was horrible to make her understand that she loved them so much, but that she'd had to make this choice to save herself.
Helen had burst into tears, and when she felt her little girl's little hands around her face, saying- "Don't cry, Mummy, everything's going to be all right now. Daddy and I are here for you. We'll never leave you, and we'll never leave you alone again." Helen's hiccups echoed around the room as the almost five-year-old consoled her Mummy, tightly holding her and promising her all her love.
Helen promised herself she'd never leave her little girl again.
An hour or so later, Max found Helen in his room doing her skin routine. She delicately applies her expensive lotion from a famous luxury brand, thinking back to her earlier conversation with the little girl. He embraced her from behind; “Thank you for tonight.” Helen turns to face him and places a light kiss on his lips without saying a word.
After she had watched Max take care of Luna and put her to bed, she kissed the little girl tenderly before leaving her with Max, promising her to be there when she wakes up.
The wee hours came and Helen awoke due to the heavy rain, all alone in bed. Geneva had a few storms coming, and that night was one of them. She wanted to check on Luna. She remembers Luna could sleep like a rock, but there were a few occasions when she would awake.
When she entered Lunas' room, she was sleeping sideways and Max must have fallen asleep too. Helen pulled up Lunas' blanket and gasped, guilt washed over her, tears in her eyes, thinking how many months she had deprived herself of this moment - A moment with her daughter and then saw the picture frame hanging on the bedside table. It was their picture. Luna, Helen and Max, their week-end together in Canterbury after her miscarriage. They were happy. She looked happy in this photo, even though deep down she was suffering from her loss.
How could she throw away this miracle? It's all of her doing, she made a choice and she paid. Seconds turned into minutes and Helen did not know how long she simply studied Max and Luna. She studied Max’s features and leaned to the other side and kissed Luna on the forehead. As she retreated, her gaze landed on Max’s sleeping face, and moved closer and closer until her lips met his. She briefly shut her eyes at the feel of his lips and leave the room.
***
"Someone stole a kiss, and I needed to get it back." Max teased, as he joined her. Helen stared into Max’s blue eyes. As he was talking, Max was advancing, Helen was also taking steps back. She leaned against the wall, mouth parted. Before she could say something, Max’s lips landed on hers, stilling her altogether. She felt a jolt of electricity running through her body, her heart pounding angrily against her ribcage, and the butterflies in her stomach went wild. As Max gave her a single-kiss, he cupped her chin and suggested, "Let go and let me kiss you."
Helen’s eyes fluttered in agreement and Max rested his forehead against hers. He lowered his head so that their noses touched. He tilted his head just enough so that nothing else could stand in the way of when their lips would meet. He pecked her lips again, gentle kisses and watched her close her eyes. He went for it repeatedly and still, she returned the kiss. Max’s hand slowly climbed up to her neck, his other arm circling her waist. The two did not know how long their lips locked together, but they soon pulled away, feeling out of breath. She felt fireworks erupting in her stomach and her heart pumping wildly.
He took her against the wall, then to his bed, enjoying her moans, his finger resting delicately on her lips, whispering that she must be discreet because Luna is in the next room. Easy to say as he goes harder and harder pouring all his seed into her. As she rested her forehead against Max’s, he kept rubbing his thumb against her cheek. Then Helen asked : "Where is your safe place to land?" "Do you want to go on a trip?" he said. "No," she replied, shaking her head.
"Where is your safe place?" she repeated, looking at him intensely. He'd known from the first what she was referring to but he was afraid his answer would scare her, so he placed a light kiss on her nose then said, "anywhere with you and luna. What about you?" Helen held his gaze for a moment, but didn't answer. She was sentimental suddenly then turned on her back and said, "The weather report says it will rain a lot until tomorrow , maybe I should go home..." Max turns to her and tries to get her attention, to blur her dark thoughts. "Do you want to go home?" He asks, a little disappointed. "I left my windows open."
"Come back later?" "You want me to come back?"
"Luna would like that!"
"Luna will be with Gwen tomorrow! Do you want me to come back?" She asks again. Max squeezes her hand in his, then whispers
"Yes, Luna will be with Gwen! …" Silence…. " I don't want you to go. I want you to come back but I don't want to make you come back if you don't want to. I won’t blame you… I promise. As we said, we can take our time, and go at your pace". Max doesn’t want to take his time, he wants her with them every night, and wants to wake up with her every morning but doesn't want to scare her. His voice sets off a tidal.
First, the wave strikes her heart, then it knocks down her stomach, pushing her insides in all directions, then her legs, preventing her from standing up correctly, even if she is in bed.
"Then, I need some extra clothes." Helen says in a whisper. "So once Luna's gone with Gwen we'll go and get you some clothes" he said without batting an eyelid. "Okay " She said calmly, watching with envy as his confident fingers worked their way through her hair. By the time she closed her eyelids, her memories were flooding back. When was the last time she felt this way? It had been a very long time, yet she was experiencing it with the same man all over again. How did fate manage to bring them back together?