Chapter 9
(Previously )
Max doesn’t want to take his time, he wants her with them every night, and wants to wake up with her every morning but doesn't want to scare her.
His voice sets off a tidal wave through her entire being. First, the wave hits her heart. Then it slaughters her stomach, propelling her insides in all directions, then her legs, preventing her from standing properly, even if she's in bed. And, finally, it crashes into her soul with unpremeditated ferocity.
"Then, I need some extra clothes." Helen says in a whisper. "So once Luna's gone with Gwen we'll go and get you some clothes" he said without batting an eyelid.
"Okay " she said calmly, watching with envy as his confident fingers worked their way through her hair. By the time she closed her eyelids, her memories were flooding back.
When was the last time she felt this way? It had been a very long time, yet she was experiencing it with the same man all over again. How did fate manage to bring them back together?
Max wakes up in an empty bed with a very strong smell of pancakes, the clock on the bedside table next to him reads 7 a.m. .He gets up smiling, never suspecting that what he's about to witness on the other side of the wall will make him melt with love. He walks past Luna's room and pushes the door open slightly, just in case his little girl is still asleep. When he poked his head through the opening, it was no surprise to find the room empty, with no sign of Luna. He continues to walk along the hallway, and as he makes his way towards the kitchen, the sweet smell of pancakes and waffles tickles his nostrils.
Quiet sounds, whispers or more likely little laughs, first luna's, then Helen's. And then he hears it. That music...Coldplay. He steps forward a little more and the sight before him takes his breath away, so much so that he has to stop walking, leaning against the wall to keep his feet from dropping him and sending a note to his brain to breathe. With spatula as microphone, luna and her mother are dancing around each other. In fact, one dances and the other bounces, but the show Max is watching is just wonderful.
The anguish of a previous nightmare shaded off, and the vision of his girls enlightened his drowsy features. He doesn't know whether he wants to laugh or cry, his feelings confused as he pulls his phone from his pyjama and freezes the images, not only capturing them but also quickly shooting them before one of them sees him and the magic disappears.
Helen takes Luna up in her arms and makes her spin around, the little girl laughing her head off and max is sure they must both be dizzy, but Luna wants more, begging Helen : "More mummy, more... " And Helen does what Luna kindly requests.
"Now, my little Munch, I think we should keep an eye on those waffles, don't you think?" They both head for the counter without noticing Max.
"Mummy, I can't see what you're doing," Luna says, and Helen puts her hands under the little girl's armpits and lifts her onto the counter
"Better this way?"
"Yes," says Luna with a thumb up.
"We'll think about getting you a step stool, so you can stand next to me and we can cook together,"
She doesn't know, but her words create a tidal wave in Max's heart, hearing her talking about the future together again.
"Are you going to stand there and spy on us? " says Helen. "He thinks we haven't seen him," winking at Luna. Max wakes up from his drowsy and walks over to them.
"What are you doing here dada?"
"Hmm I live here as far as I know and I pay the rent and your stuff." Max chuckles, shaking his head.
"Shall we let him stay with us luna?" A great burst of laughter disconcerted Helen’s noble confidence as she asks the little girl.
Luna puts a finger to her chin, pretending to think about Helen's question, as her father places a kiss on the top of her head.
"I think we could take him this time, mummy. What do you think?"
"I think you're right, Lu. Besides, what would we do without him?" says Helen as she puts her hands around Max's neck, who's already wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her a bit too passionately.
"Gnark" says luna, hiding her eyes.
"I think we'd better hurry before your gran gets here, Lu. We'll eat and then shower, baby," Gently tapping the tip of luna's nose.
"I'm a big girl dada and I want mummy to help me with the shower."
Max looks at Helen for approval. "Of course, if it's okay with you?"
"No problem, and you know how complicated she is when it comes to her choice of clothes, so I'll leave her to you." Helen lovingly brushes luna's hair. "Yes, i know." then takes a napkin and wipes off the extra chocolate that has somehow lodged itself on luna's forehead.
"Your mouth is here, Munch," gently patting luna's mouth, "Not here," patting her forehead.
Luna bursts out laughing. " I know mummy." As Luna takes Helen’s hand and kissing her palm
"Finish? Time to get ready Munch…I'll join you in the bathroom in a minute." as luna makes her way to the hallway, she stops halfway and turns around. "I’m so glad you're back, mummy. I love you so much."
"I love you too Lu." Helen leans toward the kitchen counter, when her eyes meet Max's, she turns so he can't see her crying, but he knows her.
"Hey" he says in the voice that's reserved only for Helen sharpe."You okay?" Helen nods. He takes her in his arms kissing her forehead and she rests her head on his chest,
"Everything will be fine, we'll take things as slowly as you want. Okay?"
"Max…"
"What?"
"Mummmmyyyyy" Luna interrupts
"I coming Lu. " Helen places a soft kiss in his lips. "We’ll talk later." before heading to the bathroom.
***
After Max had watched helplessly as they chose Luna's clothes, they finally dropped her off at Gwen's hotel, promising to come pick her up on Sunday evening.
Helen had opted to wait in the car while he took Luna to Gwen, not wanting to deal or feel judged by Luna’s grandma. Not that she cared, but let's just say she was concerned about something. Luna's goodbye had been filled with kisses and "I love you's" between her and Helen.
The ride to Helen's penthouse was silent. Max had noticed how quiet she was, but it was luna talking for ten. Helen’s replies were all in monosyllables and Max sensed something was off. Reaching her home, she seemed a little distant but he didn't want to worry unnecessarily. Helen stepped off her heels and started the landline voicemail, which displayed four messages.
Hey you! I'm not able to reach you, so I'll try here... I hope I didn't scare Max away the other day... but yes, I admit, I can see why you fell in love with his eyes! And - Helen smiles and skips to the next one.
"Why are you deleting? You should let me hear what Brett thinks about me! So I have beautiful eyes?" Helen rolls her eyes.
Helen, you were supposed to call me yesterday and I still haven't heard from you. Should I be upset that this guy Max is taking up so much of your time? Just call me back. This is your favorite uncle.
"This guy ? Really? He hates me that much?"
"He doesn't hate you, Max... he just doesn't know you."
"Then introduce me. "
"Well, not now."
"Why not ?" Helen presses start again without answering.
Morning daughter, I - Helen press next.
Again, I can't reach you. When are you coming to London? Let me know so I can make you some red-red. Helen deletes the message and massages her temples.
"You go to London?"
"Yes,"
"When "
"In a couple of days"
"A couple of days?"
"Yes! It wasn't planned, but Nazreen had an accident so I'm standing in for her - I was going to tell you, but it got stuck in my head!"
"How long ?"
"A week!"
"A week?" He seems a little annoyed.
"We've been apart much longer than that Max! Do I need to remind you?" She heads for the kitchen past him.
"I know you don't owe me anything, no explanation, but does your mother know we're back together?"
"No, she doesn't."
"No?"
"That's what I said!"
"Are you going to tell her?"
"Would you like me to?"
"Helen?"
"Max? " He sighs
"What's going on?"
"Nothing! Why you asking?"
"I don't know... your mood."
"My mood? What are you talking about? Is it the fact that I'm going to London or the fact that my mother doesn't know about us?"
"It's not important. Do you want me to help you pack?"
"No. In fact, I'd like to stay here tonight if that's okay with you?" Max is disappointed " You want to cancel our plans for tonight?"
"Would you mind? I've got a stomachache and a terrible headache. I'd like something quiet tonight!
"You want to be alone?"
"You want to go to the cinema and restaurant alone?" She smiles. He smiles back, but it doesn't reach his eyes. At all....
"I wish I could go with you, spend some time with you, but I don't want to push, Helen."
"You're not pushing Max, I'm not feeling well." she says looking at the mail on the table.
"So I'm going to go home and let you rest!" Helen stops reading the institute brochure and looks at max, putting her hand on her hip, furrowed brow, lips pursed.
"Why do you want to leave?"
"To let you rest"
"I can rest with you here"
"Is that what you want?"
"Stop asking me what I want. Just stay! But since you're asking, I'll give you an answer. I want you to stay... with me!" Helen reaches out her hand to him, he takes it and she leads him to her room.
***
"Don't tell me you were just watching me sleeping?" Helen said with her eyes closed.
"I wasn't watching you." A smile forms on her lips as she opens her eyes and turns to face him. "Admit it, you were watching me sleep"
"Not my fault, I can't help it, you're so beautiful." Max's gaze is intense.
"What's going on in that little head of yours?" lightly tapping Helen's nose. "Talk to me. What's going on in my life is not meaningless." Helen rolls over onto her back, putting her palms flat over her eyes. "Do you remember what we said the last time we were here?"
"About what? I just remember what we did here, more than what we said" Helen takes the pillow out from under Max's head and hit him with it. "Stop clowning. We talked about us!" Max nods, not saying anything, encouraging her to continue.
"We said we'd give each other time if we felt the need, that we wouldn't rush."
"And?"
"What Luna said to me this morning before you woke up... it made me realize how much I'd hurt her, Max."
"What did she say?" He asks while playing with one of her braids.
"I gave her my word I wouldn't tell you... but I want you to know I won't make the same mistake. "
"I know you won't." Helen turns to face him again. "I love her so much. "
"I know you do. I trust you.Tell me what she told you." Max says, focus on the braid
"She asked me if we were going to live together? if we were going to get married since I'd come back into your lives and was getting better...she said, and I quote; Mummy are you going to come back and live with us? Because I want you to be the last person I see when I go to bed and the first one I see when I wake up…"
Helen's voice fills with emotion and she wipes away a tear as she goes on. She said, my princess dress is still in my closet, I kept it because I knew you'd come back... Grandma wanted to get rid of it but I told her no, so when am I going to be called Luna Goodwin-Sharpe?
"Oh ... How you feel about it?-"
"I don't know, But-"
"Helen, don't stress about it..."
"How can you say that to me? did you hear what I said?" Helen gets up from the bed and leaves the room. Max follows, apparently surprised by her reaction.
"Did I upset you?"
"Not at all,"
"Helen to be honest your reaction is surprising." he follows her into the kitchen, as she stops and leans against the kitchen counter.
"You don't seem worried at all, Max."
"Why do you want me to be stressed? Helen, it's Luna..."
"Of course it's Luna, Max." Helen's voice comes out a little too loud. "She's expecting us to live together very soon, and to get married. I don't want to disappoint her."
"Okay then, let's live together. Don't renew your lease." Helen rolls her eyes
"Is it really as simple as that?"
"As simple as that."
"Stop using my words Max, it's getting on my nerves."
"You're the one who didn't tell your mother we were back together. You didn't introduce me to your family."
"You know Brett, you know my mum."
Max chuckles, "I was talking about your uncle."
Seeing her getting more and more frustrated, Max stands behind her, his two hands on her shoulders.
"Everything's going to be okay." The feeling of his hands on her skin immediately calms her down, but she doesn't react, doesn't turn around and doesn't answer. As he returned to his seat, He repeats.
"If you want to wait, we'll wait, we'll find a way to make it work. Luna and I could spend the weekend here" Having said this, he sighed gently.
Seeing the angst in his gorgeous ocean-colored eyes, Helen wants to tell him that she's ready to tell everyone that they're back together, that even though her mother won't be happy, she doesn't give a damn about her opinion. she just wants him and luna. Seeing him ready to do anything to give them a chance, Helen feels her heart beating wildly. she loves him…she is madly in love with him.
"What do you want Helen? because I'll do whatever you want… Whatever you want."
"Like, in life?"
"You know what I mean! What do you want?" Helen moves slowly from her spot, takes the glass that Max just drank from, caresses it and then licks from the same spot, her eyes never leaving him.
"I want to love you so desperately." She puts the glass back down and walks slowly around the table, letting the tip of her finger trail along the edge of the dining table. "I want to love you," she repeats, " It will makes people uncomfortable to be around us," she said as she bits her bottom lip.
"So you love me?" Max asks
"Do you need me to answer that question?"
"Why not?" They Both sigh. Helen lays the palm of her hand flat between his crotch, then unzips Max's jeans, gripping firmly his length between her hands without taking her eyes off him.
"Do you REALLY need me to answer that question, Max?" She repeats in an almost inaudible voice, which makes Max's hair standing up. His breathing quickens.
"Do I have?" Helen asks as she runs her tongue over Max's lips, feeling his length harden considerably in her hand, then gently bites his lower lip.
"No. I’ve heard you." Max says out of breath!
"Good boy"
"Im inclined to recognize when positive results leads to positive action." His right hand already under Helen's skirt
"You mean positive action leads to positive results? "
"I mean I want to fuck you! -" Helen bursts out laughing, her head thrown back and her laughter echoing throughout the room. Max quickly lifts her off the floor, her legs around his waist, their tongues fighting for dominance as he drags them to the sofa, unable to make it to the bedroom.
After long minutes of swearing fealty to each other with orgasms, they end up completely exhausted, Helen’s head resting lazily on Max's chest.
"I like you"
"You mean you love me." Max said
"I like your ass…"
"What?" He chuckles lifting his brow
Helen pecked his cheek "You heard me!"
"I heard you!" He said, Interlocking their fingers. Staring at her fingers in his for minutes, then kissing her ring finger. With His right hand, He traces a heart on her shoulder. Helen raises her head, resting her chin on his chest and staring up at him.
"What?"
"I’ll talk to my mum about us"
"You’re sure about that?
"You know, if I didn't do it, it's not because I have any doubts or worries, but you know her... her negative thoughts. somehow I just wanted to protect us. keep us in our bubble."
"You're skeptical about her, I get it."
"Skepticism is a sweet euphemism, when it comes to her" Max grins
"No pressure."
"No pressure. I promise.I love you"
"Say it again"
"I love you." She says with a shy voice. A smile spreads across Max's lips.
"Again!"
"I love you"
"I love you more. Just you and me."
"Just you and me" she repeats.
A Week later
It's been two days since Helen landed in London and three since she last saw Max and Luna. The previous days had been hectic due to the complete reorganization of the trip and Helen had very little time to get on with anything else, wanting to feel totally ready for her different meetings, so she spent her time working on her pitch.
She'd done her best to explain to Luna that she had to leave for a whole week, but trying to get a four-year-old girl to understand that is not easy. She hadn't seen her mother for almost a year, but a week seemed like an eternity. The little girl had burst into tears on finding out that her mom would be away for such a long time, and her hiccups of sadness had melted Helen’s heart.
She'd promised her a girls' date, just the two of them, and Max had explained that Helen's leaving would help to save moms, dads and even sick children. Luna nodded in agreement, on the verge of tears, tightly hugging Mr Puff, her stuffed toy.
Three days without seeing Helen, but every morning Luna had breakfast with her mom and dad, well, mom on the other side of the screen, and every night Helen hurried home in time to read Luna her favorite book. When she couldn't be home, she'd pretend to have an emergency so she could sneak away from meetings. Lock herself in the ladies' room to talk to her daughter.
Helen had refused to let them take her to the airport, for fear of bursting into tears during the separation. A week, we'd done worse than that, she'd told Max. Well, after two days, she already wanted to go home and was only waiting for one thing: Being able to talk to Luna, and once the little one was asleep, to be able to spend hours on the phone with Max. They'd often fall asleep on the phone and continue the conversation when the alarm on one's phone wakes the other up.
Today was not a day like the others. When Helen didn't answer her phone when Max called at 7 A.M. and hadn't sent a single text all day, Max got worried.
At 3 P.M., he received a text to the ten messages he'd sent: Not a good day, I'll try to call you at 9 P.M. Give my love to Luna. Love you guys.
This was followed by an almost instant reply from Max; Is everything okay? You okay?
The message remained unread. He waited anxiously, pacing around his phone, checking every second that the volume was at its highest and stalking it like prey. When Luna started to say at 8.45pm that she was thirsty, then too hot, Max knew his little girl wasn't going to cooperate, so he poured her a glass of warm milk and when his phone rang at 10.15pm, an hour later than planned, he answered it by glancing into Luna's room to make sure the little girl wasn't going to interrupt him. And she was fast asleep, Mr Puff in her arms.
"Hey," her soft voice had echoed off the walls of his room.
"Hey," she replied, and at the sound of her voice, Max knew right away that something was wrong. He didn't want to rush her, he wanted to let her open up. He heard the sound of papers, then her breath. "Hang on, give me two minutes." He hears movements again, then her voice comes back to him, calm, steady but concerned.
"Is everything all right?" He hands her the boom. "Just want you to know I'm here, if you need me."
"I know... I know..." and just that single line unlocked the whole thing.
"Last night I had dinner at my mother's." She starts
"You did? I didn't know you were supposed to see her."
"It wasn't planned, but she insisted." Her voice is flat and she sounds exhausted.
"How did it go?" Helen shrugs and frowns as if he can see her.
"Oh you know, same as always...I told her about us."
"You did?"
"I did!"
"You didn't have to, you know."
"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. So I did." Her sweet voice gave Max a deep flutter and he missed her so much.
"How did it go," he repeats.
"She wasn't thrilled. She thinks I'm wasting my time with you."
"Oh, she said that?"
"She-" she sighs and pauses. When he hears her again, her voice breaks his heart. She sobs. "She said I was stupid to get involved with someone who'd done nothing to make things right between us, who'd left me alone crying for so long and hadn't even bothered to come around to see what was wrong with his fiancée. "
"Helen-"
"Is she right, Max? Tell me, am I stupid?"
"Please don't say that and don't cry."
"What do we do Max? I'm thinking about Luna and I don't want to hurt her, I don't want our behavior to hurt her. She's a child, Max."
"Please, don't cry... "Max paces back and forth in his room, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
"Helen, please listen to me. She's your mother and you know I do respect her. I would never tell you what to do about her and one thing I know for sure is that she's wrong about us. We love each other. Don't we?" Hearing no response from her. he insists. "I love you. More than anything... you love me, don't you, Helen?"
"I do. Love you. But do you think we can just pick up where we left off?"
"Do you remember what you said to Gwen? "
"Gwen?"
"Yes. You said you love us and that was not hypothetical... You said, second chances work better because we learn from previous mistakes."
So let me ask you a question. May I?"
"Go on"
"Did you already have doubts or is it your mother's pernicious doubts working their way into you? What you said to Gwen, did you mean it?" Her sobs echo through the phone and his heart crumbles.
"I have no doubts Max about how I feel about you, and yes I meant what I said to Gwen."
"Well? What's wrong?"
"I'm scared Max...I want you...I want you...I want us so much it scares me."
"What did you say to your mother?"
"That I wanted us, that I planned to call you my husband someday, whether she liked it or not. " Her voice suddenly turns shy and he can hear her smiling through her words.
"Oh." Max chuckles! "So you're planning to ask me to marry you?"
"No... you will."
" May I remind you that the last time I did, I waited for you for hours?" He immediately regrets what just came out of his mouth.
" Do I have to remind you that the last time I called you in tears to cancel our engagement, you didn't bother to check up on me?" They both remain silent, but the silence isn't awkward.
"I love you." Max breaks the silence
"I love you more."
"I doubt that... come quickly, luna can't stop talking about you."
"Oh you want me to come home just for luna?" she flirts
"I miss you..."
"I miss you more."
" I highly doubt that! When are you coming home?"
"Another three long days, my dear." Helen wraps herself in the blanket, whispering. " How are you doing Without me?"
Max chuckles... "it's very hard."
"You mean... Hard? "
"Helen-"
"Max-" she said with a moan... "I can't wait to get home."
"I can't wait to see you."
"How's my little girl?"
"She misses you."
"I miss her too."
"You sound tired, do you want to sleep on the phone?"
"Yes. Is that okay?"
"Yes, I'll hear you snoring."
"Stop it, I don't snore..."
"What would you like to dream about?"
"Hmm, let me think. About us. Somewhere we could land… I don’t know, Where we could create a universe, Hiding from everyone, where nothing mattered but you and me and Luna…"
Her voice gets lower and lower. He hears her yawn, then sleep slowly overtakes her, dreaming of Max's hands around her hips...and well, its hardness between her thighs.