Chapter 1
The plane lands at Singapore Changi Airport 30 minutes late. It's 9:15 pm when he gets his suitcase out of the treadmill. Time to hail a cab to the Ritz-Carlton Millenia Singapore. Once checked in, he gets his room on the thirtieth floor. The elevator is rather fast but he watches the floors go by one by one until the 17th floor when the ding of the door opening makes him wake up from his waking coma! A couple in their sixties enters! The man nods at him before turning to what appears to be his wife. He smiles and answers with a similar nod to the old man.
Leaning against the glass wall, Max looks at his reflection in the mirror, he is exhausted! Six months in Switzerland, six long months to make his penthouse a home for him and Luna and... their dog Cinco.
Max had promised Luna that once they were settled, she could get a dog and it was without forgetting his promise that little Luna woke him up on a Saturday morning to go to the shelter.
Luna went around the shelter like a big girl and stopped in front of the cage of this golden retriever puppy!
Luna swore to her father that she would take him out and feed him, but at the first poop, Luna pinched her nose and fled to her room, leaving Max to fend for himself with the damage.
This house is nothing like their New York home... different in every way! The square footage, the luxury, the building! WHO wanted Max so badly that they were willing to go to any way to get him. Luxury condo, penthouse, car, competitive salary, flexible hours, personal assistant, American school for luna, a nanny and much more. Even if Max is satisfied with the little and the minimum, what a surprise he had to discover this place!
The layout was not easy, but with help he was able to do it all in no time and Luna got the princess room she wanted! All white with a mix of yellow.
" Let the sunshine in," said Luna as she stood in front of the paint cans at the store.
Max is surprised to see his daughter grow so much, in six months she has gained so much confidence and being able to spend his meals and evenings with her has been good for both of them! If he is honest with himself, it's more for him....
Max and Luna remain impressed by this city, Geneva is a nice city to live in and Luna loves her new school and her new friends.
Max puts down his suitcases and falls on the bed, he rolls himself in the blankets ready to sleep dressed when his phone starts to vibrate against his thigh.
He hesitates to answer, then takes it out and mechanically presses to answer.
He is greeted by luna' screams on the other side of the line! Her blond hair falling in her face.
-Hey luna, take it easy...calm down, I can't understand a word you're saying!
Luna spouts a stream of words, a mixture of the little mermaid, then the cinema, then the dance, then the piano... when she finally breathes, Max can finally understand that she said watched the little mermaid after her dance class and Ariel knows how to sing and play piano.
-Luna, why aren't you in bed already? Luna looks at him with her big eyes.
-Dada it’s afternoon here, it’s 3:00. Max takes a few seconds to realize the time difference
-Oh yeah Lu, you right
-I wanted to talk you to you dada. I miss you already. And how is sindapo? Have you been to the botanical gardens?
-I guess you mean Singapore?
-Yes,
-Not yet! I just arrived at the Hotel Lu, but I promise you lots of pictures!
-Promise dada?
-Yes, I promise bug, can you give the phone to grandma please, I'd like to talk to her. In the meantime, let's talk later ... hey Lu, I love you
-Good night, Dada. I love you too.
Max is thankful that Gwen is always there for luna, even when he called her just a week ago, begging her to come because he has an important conference in Singapore... the old woman didn't hesitate to drop her plans and jump on the first plane to Geneva to help him. Even though he knows she's upset that he took Luna so far away from them, uprooting her once again. But she knows that Max is doing his best to give Luna a good life full of love and most importantly, to give her time.
After cutting off the conversation with Gwen, Max throws away his phone and heads to the bathroom for a well-deserved shower before diving into bed, the incessant ringing of texts can't get him out of bed and he falls asleep within ten minutes.
It's an ongoing work, and if he's honest with himself, The purpose of leaving New Amsterdam is to forget, to put the hospital behind him and Luna and he hates that he still thinks about it when Floyd calls to tell him about his surgical prowess or when Wilder faceTiming to ask him for advice. But in six months, Geneva gave him what he needed. His little girl's smile, not so little anymore is priceless.
Singapore is pleasant enough, warmer than Geneva at this time of year. He arrives at the convention center near Marina Bay and goes to the counter to get his badge. The conference Max is attending is given by some big names in the medical world and Max can recognize some familiar names! The details of the three days had been sent to him by his assistant Emy but he hadn't take the time to look at them in detail. He scans the pamphlet for some familiar names
Seyed Ali
Sanders White
Emily harsh
Michael bones
He strides towards the drinks counter, dying for a coffee, and as he is served, incoming messages make him check his phone.
Wilder: I hope you arrived safely! Let me know when you are available. Xx E.
Max replies to the message and even dares to take a selfie in return.The text exchange lasts longer than expected and the first lecture has already started... this one doesn't really interest him so he goes to the one on the latest advances in target therapy which is in room 6, the room is full!
Around 40% of all lung cancer belongs to lung adenocarcinoma. This new invention further provides a method for increasing the sensitivity of cells to bleomycin and a kit useful for treating cancer and patients.
What can we do?
The objective of this study was to investigate the association between life satisfaction and self-reported impairments in persons with late effects of polio and cancer. We have come across many patients with malaria, polio, measles, rubella... and we have saved them.
Our goal is clear... to make a measurable difference in people's lives at the country level.
By 2030 we could have 8.5 billion people on this planet. Good health data is at the core of supporting people everywhere....
Max is interrupted by Dr. Akhira, MD of a private hospital in Tokyo. They are having a friendly chat about the latest figures of polio cases saying that the total number of cases caused by the wild poliovirus so far this year is 12900, with thousand cases in Afghanistan and 10 000 in Pakistan.
Max is torn between his discussion with Dr. Akhira and the presentation of Prof. Ali, they both talk about the numbers they see on the screen, they are promising and show a great distribution of the world population and the huge discovery made by this doctor on gene mutation.
-No matter who this person is, the whole world will pay a fortune to have his research.
- I really agree, this is a huge breakthrough says Max, I need to see the figures more closely, as well as the study that was conducted...
- To do that, you would have to convince Prof. Ali to put you in touch with this person. He has been talking about this breakthrough for several months, secretly keeping the name of his protégée to himself. He must be afraid that everyone will take it away from him.
- He's right! It's brilliant," says Max, looking at the document that was given to him.
With the presentation of Prof. Ali finished, and having the whole room cheer, he is now available to shake hands and maybe talk about the data. In any case, Max will do everything to meet him. His mission? get back to Geneva with a deal, before the Big Pharma lobbyists get it
Max is shaking with anticipation! He sees Prof. Ali and approaches him to introduce himself.
- Professor Ali? Max Goodwin from WHO, we have been in contact a few times in the last month.
- Dr. Goodwin! Yes ! I did not expect to meet you here, I was informed that Dr. Shruss was to represent WHO
- That's right, but Dr. Shruss couldn't make it, and I had to replace him.
- Do you know Pr Jean? From the Pasteur Institute in Paris? Max is shaking hands with the elderly man
- Yes, we met last year in New York.
- Nice to see you again Dr Goodwin, I see that WHO has bet big by hiring you!
- This is Dr. Bell!
- Nice to meet you Dr. Goodwin
- Dr. Bell... Max's phone rings. He takes it out of his pocket and sees Gwen's name on the screen!
- Excuse me, I have to take this call! He picks up the phone and moves away from the crowd to answer.
Almost twenty minutes pass and he is back in the huge room, heading towards the buffet before finding Professor Ali again. He has to hurry, he is a very busy man. While trying to hurry up, Max spills orange juice on his shirt that he tries to wipe off...
He scans the room, sees him in the crowd accompanied by three people, the two people from earlier and a woman, with her back to him. With a determined step Max moves towards him, but the woman moves a few inch away to shake hands.
- You have missed my protégée, says the Professor to Max, I am sure that you will have things to say to each other, she has worked in New York for several years
- She did? asks Max. He stops suddenly in his sentence at the sound he has just heard... that accent? That voice? That laugh?....the woman is talking and laughing with someone and he can hardly see her with the crowds of people wandering around,
- Hey Anya says the Professor to the young woman, let me introduce you to someone... Then she turns around and takes a light step towards the group of men, her eyes still on the Professor, as if she was floating on the scene! A perfect smile, all-in-black. Black pencil skirt, black blouse, vertiginous heels, red lipstick and a bun on top of her head like a crown! Helen sharpe. His Helen! Max is shocked at the sight of her. He sinks to the ground and blinks several times, not sure if it is really her.
What is she doing here? He is torn between leaving and staying... she hasn't seen him yet, if he moves now, if he runs away, she will never know it was him. The air is eat up by the burning fire under his skin.
- Let me introduce you to Dr. Goodwin. Helen's eyes finally leave Seyeed's to focus on the group of men, looks up and as their eyes make contact, Max's eyes force her to lower hers. Her smile dies on her lips, her stomach dropped. She swallows with difficulty not being able to place one word in front of the other, she simply nods. Max's heartbeat mixes and he shakes with all its limbs. It is impossible, not her. Finally, he is no longer shaking, he is paralyzed. A shiver runs down his spine and lodges in his rib cage. His blood stops and time stops. He knows that there is noise around them, he knows that people are moving, talking, but he doesn't hear anything anymore, he doesn't see anything. Except her. His eyes break as they look at each other. And no matter what impression he gives, she is in the same state of shock as him. Their visual exchange is cut off. He remains frozen looking at her.... That voice. It destroys everything in his heart. And in his soul.
His bones are on fire and everywhere under his skin is burning.
He blinks, suddenly consumed with memories he hasn't allowed himself to remember for months.
His eyes are like weapons that tear her apart and she forces herself to stop her thoughts.
Helen stops looking at him the way you do, you break down all his barriers.
And she holds back her whole being from shedding even one tear down her cheeks.
Eyes wide open, she didn't know what to say or do. She swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat as she neared, she took two slow steps toward him, her feet feeling heavy as she watched Max's reaction to her. He kept his distance physically.
- Dr. Goodwin, I'd like you to meet my little protégé, Dr. Anya Sharpe. Max and Helen looked at each other without moving, without speaking, without blinking. Shocked to find themselves there, face to face. Seyeed looks between them, feeling a tension that he cannot describe and his voice breaks the fog in which each of them was.
- She is superhumanly strong, not because she was my student at Cambridge nor because I managed to persuade her to join my team despite the success of her clinics... but she also has a big place in my heart says Prof. Ali. Helen is the one who makes the first move. She stared at him, still struggling to speak past the emotion choking her.
- Dr. Goodwin, she said, holding out her hand. His eyes traveled over her, his blood heating as he took in every detail of her. She looks Gorgeous, healthy, and he can almost breathe her scent. Odor that remains impregnated in his memory forever. Max is unable to move and looks at Helen's hand held out in front of him. After a few seconds that seem like hours, Helen withdraws her hand and wipes her palm against her skirt. Max did not touch her and the other men did not notice the tension...Seyeed did.
He holds Helen by the waist and pulls her close to him, before placing a kiss on the side of her head. She looks up at Seyeed and smiles.
Her eyes were boring holes into the wall. She grumbled under her breath Like she can't breathe.
She whispers something in Seyeed's ear and he nods.
-Sirs, I'm afraid you'll have to continue without us. Dr. Goodwin, I am sure we will have the opportunity to meet again before the end of the conference. If you will excuse us. Seyeed leads Helen with one hand on her lower back, he whispers something in her ear and she laughs, moving forward without looking back. Max sees her walk out of the room, waiting while Prof. Ali hails a cab, Helen's eyes meet his through the glass wall, they stare at each other for what seems like hours, she almost jumped out of her skin when Seyeed's hand grabbed her waist and makes her look the other way. She turns around and takes the man's hand to help her get into the cab.
Max didn't move…
Max didn't bat an eye…
Max didn't breathe...
Letting out the breath he hadn't known he was holding in… Max is screwed
***
How do you heal a broken heart?
It's a question Max has been asking himself over and over again lately.
Ever since his fiancé left him, Max feels numb, he felt like his world was shattered into tiny pieces that he will never be able to put back together again. Helen, New Amsterdam and Luna were his everything. When he lost Helen, Max felt like he'll never be able to be happy again. What's even worse is that he tried. Being invisible and coward was better than having to listen and answer the questions, better than having to deal with the pain…with her … So, he went to Wilder, he went easy, he went where he wouldn’t have to deal with his emotions that he had taken so long to hide, to mask, to repress.
He went to his friends,
He went to Na and he thought he had succeeded. And technically he did with his New job, his new life with his daughter in Geneva.
He used to dread the empty feelings, but now he will depends on them
The last year of breakup, of distance, of late nights… it all pooled together into his mind as he walked inside the Ritz-Carlton Millenia and the awful suspicions planted themselves there as much as he hated himself for thinking about him, about her. about them, about this man's hand on her waist, about her laughing with him.
All his memories, about hating her are gone and pain and death are beckoming.
Trapped in his own slice of hell, his will to be strong is slipping away. Then her voice, her face, her body drifts over him... the memories draws him away the darkness.
There are things you can never let go, He could never just let the little things go. He can't get rid of her no matter how hard he tried.
Helen Sharpe is one of those people you can't leave behind.. she stays imbued in its memory like an indelible ink exploded all over him and no matter how hard he tried to erase her from his life. He couldn’t be perfect unless she made him perfect, which he can do, and he wishes … Nothing! He can’t let himself to wish anything…
He also see a world where he can erase unwanted memories but can we? Yes, but not all!
And if it was enough,use the "Add" and "Delete" buttons to make changes to his exceptions, to make room in his brain in an instant… and thus lighten his memory... but can we erase the painful events from our memory? No Max
***
- Are you going to tell me why you wanted to leave so quickly after I introduced you to Dr. Goodwin? Helen's eyes are glued to the window and Seyeed's voice doesn't pull her out of her thoughts.
-Anya?" he says, putting a hand on her shoulder. Helen slowly turns to him and looks at him.
-Sorry I didn't hear you, what were you saying?
- Who is Dr. Goodwin to you?
-Nobody Seyeed
-Anya... I saw how you looked at each other, I saw how shocked you were to see each other.
-It doesn't matter Seyeed, it doesn't matter she says with her eyes on her hands. He was part of my past, there's nothing more to say, says Helen, turning back to the window.
If you don't mind, I'd rather go straight to the hotel, I'm exhausted. I know I said I'd go with you to Dr. Welsh's dinner, but -
- No, it's okay, just go and rest," Seyeed said, putting his hands on hers to calm her down. I'll call you in the morning.
-Thank you Helen says as she approaches him, and Seyeed puts a kiss on the top of her head before she gets out of the cab and heads to the elevator. After taking a shower,
She then lies down in her huge bed and starts to close her eyes. She immerses herself in her memories and tears run down her temples. Then she finally manages to lock herself into a deep sleep.
She wakes up shivering and sweating before realizing that it was just a nightmare.
she tries to calm herself, to control her heartbeat but she can't.
Her head in her hands, her tears flow non-stop. She decides to get up and drink a glass of water. The room is quiet and dark.
Her feet cling to the icy tiles to lead her to the kitchen. She can hear the wind blowing through the trees and she can see the raindrops falling down the windows.
Helen notices every movement, from falling leaves to trees moving in the wind. Then she finally ends up pouring herself a glass of water. Then she puts on the song, Fall for you. and decides to call her friend Benett to tell her about her evening..about him
When she puts her head along the bay window, the words that echo in her head make her lose her balance, intoxicated with pain and sorrow, the glass slips out of her hands.
-Damn it
And the shattering of the glass is enough to drive her to the edge of the cliff, the tears turn into sobs…and when she hears noise coming from the nearby balcony, she quickly closes the bay window
***
Max is now in his room with his head in his hands. His thoughts are mixing and his synapses are not far from letting go. How is that possible? What is she doing here? Perhaps he should not have prayed every day of his life to see her again.
But here, it’s just impossible. Helen hasn’t been in his life for so long, and yet seeing her there in front of him has confused all his senses. all is well in his life and she returns. As a sign of destiny. Then he leaves his room, unable to sleep, he stands against the balustrade of the balcony where the night and the wind from the marina hugs, kisses him and walks away, leaving him alone with his anxieties.
Then he hears music, soft coming from the next room.The bay window must be open because he hears a distant voice without clearly understanding what is being said, but he hears this song and the words and menories hit him...
Before I take another step
Would you catch me if I fall for you?
'Cause I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
I'm so used to standing
So used to being on my own
But this thing is new, baby
It feels like I'm losing control
I'll take another step
If you catch me when I fall for you
'Cause I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
Will you promise to be there?
Stay by my side, always?
Whenever I need you
Don't let me down, no, no
If I give you my all, don't let me fall
Would you do that for me, hold me?
Will you love, will you love me?
My heart is ready
For love and to be loved
And I chose you, baby
That's the one thing I'm sure of
So I will take
This one last step…
Max runs his hands over his face and rubs his beard, this song, he already heard it, in London a year ago...Then he hears the bay window open, and he is startled by the sound of breaking glass and crying.
-Dammit, The words are interrupted by sobs. Max wants to talk to this stranger, to ask her if she's okay, to tell her that no matter what puts her in this state, there is always a solution. But just as he opens his mouth, he hears the bay window close.
It's almost three o'clock in the morning, he has to sleep but before he closes his eyes, he has to find a way to deal with his ex fiancé and get the protocol she sets up. Max has prayed for Helen to disappear from his life, to never see her again, but now he is forced to face her and he doesn't know how to deal with it. he can't ignore how much his heart races when hers is close, how much of his soul still belongs to her despite himself. Lying on his bed, he’s an outsider to his own body, his own head. As his past returns to memory, the truth is revealed. A truth that could destroy Max’s entire life, entire world. Even if right now his subconscious totally disagrees, he’s risking everything, he needs to see her.