Here We Go
The tension in the room was palpable; the way Tony held himself reminded her of a coiled live wire, like the ones she loved to work with, tight and ready to spark up a fire in a hot second. Antoinette bursted at the seams, she was not ready to hear her mother’s voice through the intercom.
The dial tone rang for the second time. Tony felt her gaze and turned around to look at her. They both looked into each other’s eyes and in that moment his walls came down for a second only, but she was able to see the panic, fear, and anticipation that she felt within her tiny anguished soul.
“Hello. Who is this?” Antoinette winced as the uptight voice bounced across the airwaves, a voice that just a few hours ago told her she wasn’t good enough. She was embarrassed that Tony had caught that reaction, a weak moment. She felt him as he looked at her as he tried to figure her out, as if she were his next big and complicated project.
“Am I speaking to Eliza McKinley?” He asked, his voice sounding nonchalant, as if this was going to be a call about pleasantries. It was completely the opposite of his body language, he still reminded her of the simmering coil that was ready to strike at a moment’s notice. The voice and the image she saw of the man standing in front of her completely mismatched. They could of been two different people for all she knew.
She looked about the living room and took a seat to avoid the fact that her knees felt as if they could collapse any second. Antoinette curled up on the couch, hugged her knees, and kept quiet.
“Yes, this is she,” Eliza confirmed her identity for him.
“Hi, this is the great Tony Stark giving you a house call because your kid came to my door and said you told her she was mine.” He got straight to the point and his voice gained a grit she hadn’t heard before.
“Oh, Antoinette, you mean. She’s there with you? That laser she built with my car parts was the last straw. That child has the devil in her; she made the laser and pointed it at a boy in her class! What child does that?” The female responded in a tone that was disgust personified. The tiny blonde saw Tony’s hands and jaw as they clenched, his face looked like a bomb that was about to go off. Antoinette could feel the anger rising in her, like a volcano that was about to explode, so she did.
“His name was Tyler and he was always bothering me and calling me names. I told him the next time he bothered me I would make something that could hurt him! So I made the laser. I know what I did wrong so next time it will actually slice right through him,” she exclaimed to the intercom with that steel in her voice as she got up on her feet. She stood up with her tiny fists clenched and her body rigid.
Tony let out a loud laugh, which echoed through the room.
“Did you really just laugh at the child’s behavior? Still haven’t changed, huh, Tony?” She said bitterly.
“Nope, still as awesome as always,” he said, still without a care in the world. Antoinette could tell he still had no clue who she was.
“You don’t remember, do you?” she asked. Antoinette noticed the expectant tone in her voice.
“Doesn’t ring a bell.” Still his tone was calm as ever, not a single note of panic came through.
“January of 1992. You were 21, I think, and I was 19. We met at a party here in San Francisco, right around the time your parents died. We spent the night dancing, drank a couple of drinks and, well, I followed you to your hotel room at the Intercontinental. Seven months later the girl was born.” She reminded him.
Antoinette, who just had to add her two cents in, said, “Ewwwwww, I didn’t want to know that.”
“Yeah, still nothing.” His voice was still normal as ever, yet his eyes said a different story, as if he were in another world, living something else, Antoinette noticed. “Anyway, adding to that subject, now I need to get your permission so I can get a paternity test done. Please say that like if you were in court, in front of the jury and witnesses.” His tone teasing but with that grit still obvious. “I blah, blah, blah, give The great god Tony Stark permission to… Get it, McKinley?
“Yes, I get it,” she bit out.
“I, Eliza McKinley, give you, Tony Stark, permission to perform a paternity test on Antoinette Elizabeth McKinley.” She stated, relieved, as that statement cleared her of all responsibility she held over the little girl. Those words felt final, her mother handed her over to a stranger. It was a done deal, she was not Eliza’s burden anymore. Antoinette gulped and wondered Am I really that bad that mommy doesn’t want me?
“Well, that’s all I needed, and let’s not do this again.” The finality in his voice rang out. Picking up his cue, JARVIS cut the phone call and as the click sounded Tony muttered ‘Psycho’ underneath his breath.
“Well, that was rather unpleasant,” JARVIS mechanically stated.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Tony snarked right back without missing a beat of their familiar wit fest as it thrummed through the air. Antoinette let out a tiny laugh as she sat back down on the comfy couch.
“It seems, Sir, that she carries the Stark affinity for weapons and IQ.” JARVIS echoed into the room, and the tense air was back in an instant.
Antoinette heard the door open and a beautiful blonde that she assumed was Pepper came in with what could only be a doctor trailing behind her. Her heels could be heard, click clack like a beat to an elegant classy sound. The Fairy General! her brain blurted.
“Hi Sweetie, you must be Antoinette,” She greeted as she held her hand and gave it a firm squeeze that gave her a bit of strength as she came into contact with the blonde’s solid but gentle grip. “I am Pepper Potts, Mr. Stark’s assistant, and this is Dr. Williams. He is going to help us today.”
“Yes, of course the pixie gets all the love. Let’s get this over and done with, please.” Tony whined as he looked at Pepper and the tiny girl with a bit of reluctance.
“Alright then, let’s get the procedure started. If you will, Dr. Williams,” Pepper stated with a hand gesture that said get-to-it and the physician received the message loud and clear.
“What I am going to do, Antoinette, is with this swab-“
“I know how this works, you use that,” she said as she pointed to the swab, “to get my DNA then you get his and you compare them both. Then we find out if he is my Daddy.” She explained to the Doctor as if he were a toddler.
‘ Duh! Ugh, does he think I am a dummy or what?’ she mused.
Pepper could not hold in her amusement and laughter escaped her from what Antoinette could hear.
“Smart-mouthed little…” Tony chuckled and whispered. Pepper gave his ribs a sharp nudge.
“OW!” Tony felt the need to say, which Antoinette knew was WAY over the top. He looked as if he wanted to say more but the fierce glare Pepper gave him shut him right up. Antoinette took pleasure in his misery and let out a laugh from deep within her. While this all happened, the doctor simply stared at them all with a dumbfounded look.
“Come on, do it already,” Antoinette said in an exasperated tone. So the doctor got right to it as he followed an eight-year-old’s command. He swabbed inside her cheek. It hurt, but she was not going to complain about it. Her mind started to analyze the importance of the swab and how it was going to drastically change her life one way or another. The currents of emotions made themselves present again and her eyes began to water, but she was not going to let the tears fall, not this time.
“Okay, we got what we needed. Now your turn, Mr. Stark.” Dr. Williams spoke.
He opened his mouth to make room for the cotton swab that was going to help them answer the question concerning the pickle they found themselves in. The tiny blonde sat down on the couch, tucked her knees into her, and hugged them. She laid her head on top of her knees; her vision went into a tunnel only lazar-focused on Tony and the Doctor collecting his DNA. When the doctor started to rub the inner part of his cheek, there was no visible reaction, he just stood there relaxed. Antoinette felt a sting of jealousy for his ability to act as if nothing was wrong, though she was smart enough to know that inside he must be a mess of emotions much like her. But he, unlike her, was able to keep it together, though she wanted to be able to do that desperately.
Once the doctor removed the cotton swab, Tony closed his mouth.
“That’ll be $10,000.” Tony uttered, as he accompanied it with an arrogant smirk and looked serious, his hand out as if waiting for the money. The doctor simply stared and his jaw fell to the ground.
“Just ignore his comments, Dr. Williams. Please continue with your work.” Pepper instructed. So the doctor gathered his supplies and looked up.
“This is going to take a couple of hours. I will call with the results,” Dr. Williams mentioned hesitantly.
“‘Tony Stark Has a Kid’ will not be tomorrow’s headline, right, Doc? ” Tony asked with that mix of grit and tease Antoinette had only ever seen him achieve towards the doctor. As he spoke the words, it was a reminder to the physician; he would suffer a thousand hells if he spoke a word of the latest happenings to anyone outside of this room. Antoinette was happy she wasn’t the doctor. The doctor nodded, unable to say much else, but in his eyes there was a hint of fear. She was glad she was not him.
Pepper walked over to him and handed over a check. Antoinette could not read what it said, but she was sure it was nothing but change from Tony’s vast fortune. Pepper’s gaze spoke of what would happen to the doctor if this ever got out. He would have to deal with her, and that would mean the death of his career and possibly his life, she suspected
“Thank you, Dr. Williams. Let us know as soon as you have the results.” They shook hands and Pepper walked him to the door. When the glass door shut everyone in the room looked at each other intently as if to make sure the surreal experience really did happen.
“Is that a Hot Wheels backpack I see there?” Pepper asked as she walked over to the couch and sat down next to it. “What’s in here, Antoinette?”
“Can you please not call me that? When the lady...” Mommy. “I hate it, can we please change it?” Antoinette said with a strong yet weak tone that a child should never be capable of.
“You mean your mother?” Pepper asked cautiously.
“She stopped being my mom as soon as that phone call ended.” Her voice had steel and fire that were present in her eyes and tone. Antoinette could see that Pepper took that statement to heart and Tony, well, his eyes said what he couldn’t. She might be crazy but she could see a speck of admiration in them. There was more than a bit of fiery anger in his gaze. He still reminded her of that electrified coil, but now the sparks had turned into a fire that could burn down entire cities. Antoinette was surprised she could actually get a read on him.
“How does Netty sound, Ms. McKinley?” JARVIS helpfully suggested.
“Oh God, JARVIS, don’t name the thing. You'll get attached!" Tony exclaimed with no malice. It simply was a joke from what she could tell, so she took it as that and let out a laugh that let her light up. It helped her release much of the tension she had been holding onto. She looked at the ceiling and fell against the couch laughing. Pepper, not knowing what else to do, joined her with a couple of chuckles of her own. When Netty looked at Tony in thanks, he shrugged at her with an arrogant smirk.
“I like it JARVIS! Thank you!” She said with a glee that felt foreign. She missed it.
“Now you’ve done it! It’ll never leave now…” Tony said with a fake disdain, and that was all it took. The anger was back. Her emotions felt like a rollercoaster; they took her from one extreme to another. Not knowing what else to do, Netty stood up, marched over to him, and punched his thigh as hard as she could. It hurt her, but she wouldn’t let it show if she could help it. His gaze was directed down at her as if to challenge her- at least, that was what it felt like. Like if he was saying ‘That’s all you got, kid?’ with his eyes.
“Alright that’s enough from both of you!” She heard Pepper rush over to her as she admonished in a tone that made shame wash over her like a bucket of cold water. She felt Pepper’s hands pulling her toward the couch.
“Netty, come over here and show me what you brought with you, will you?” Pepper asked. Ordered , Netty’s mind corrected.
She opened her backpack and took out her prized Hot Wheels suitcase that contained her car collection. Pepper’s gaze looked impressed with the collection.
“I hate Disney Princesses, except Mulan, she fights in a war and leads a revolution in China. I love cars.” She said as she opened her suitcase with all her cars, her hand passed over them, it was like a caress. She took one out and she stated with adoration present in her voice. She held it up as if it were a pristine trophy- not a toy car.
“This is a 1967 Chevy Impala, I borrowed it from Kevin and he never asked for it back, so I kept it,” She explained. She heard Tony chuckle and Pepper looked as if she was just happy Netty was distracted. So she put that car carefully on the coffee table and picked up the next car. “This one is a 1967 Shelby Cobra. I won it in a bet,” she said proudly.
“A bet?” Tony echoed.
“What kind of bet?” he asked, curiosity colored his tone.
“Well, Kyle said that I would't be able to make a Ziploc bag explode by myself as a science project for the fair so I bet him his entire Hot Wheels collection, which is like a third of these cars, that I would be able to. So when I won the science fair with my Ziploc bag that went boom , he had to give me all his cars,” she said, beaming arrogantly, as if the most impressive part of the story was that she won those cars.
“Sir, you and Ms. McKinley seem to share the common interest of causing things to combust,” JARVIS stated in a matter of fact way.
“The military and I have that in common, too.” He said, as if JARVIS made parallels between Tony and potential children every day, but it could be a possibility for all Netty knew.
“One more word out of you and I'm shutting you down.” Now there was the grit Netty was starting to become familiar with and that also told her that it was not an everyday occurrence. Netty looked at Pepper for some sign of how to navigate the situation; she was the one with experience in this area, after all. Pepper pointed toward her backpack, so she took that to mean to take out the next item. She rummaged within it’s contents and took out her ice skates. Those were her pride and joy; they represented a safe haven for her. It was the only thing that made her brain stop the ongoing trains of thoughts and ideas. She passed her hands over the skates reverently, as if they were made out of diamonds and pearls, even though they were torn up and a bit beat up from use. With reverence in her voice, she stated, “These are my ice skates.”
Pepper, with surprise in her voice, went on to ask, “You ice skate?”
Netty nodded and went on to explain, “It was the only thing Eliza liked that I did and it was the only thing that made my brain shut off. I’ve been skating since I was three. I never really liked competing, but it was the deal we had going. I only got to skate if I competed. I was competing with middle school kids.”
“What do you mean ‘made your brain shut off’?” Pepper asked. That question caught Tony’s attention, he seemed curious as to what her answer would be.
“Well I…” She hesitated, trying to find a way to explain the way her mind worked.
“My head, it never really stops going, it’s always thinking and, well, the cars and making things explode only work to a certain degree. It’s never just one train of thought either, it’s a lot of them all getting in the way of the other. I’m pretty sure it’s something I need to get checked out, but Eliza never really listened to me.” Netty explained. “Skating was the one thing that shut everything else out. When I’m on the ice, nothing else really exists."
“Yeah, you need help, Kid.” Tony went on to answer.
“I believe that it sounds like Ms. McKinley might have some form of ADD or ADHD, or she could as well have a combination of them. Wouldn’t you agree, Ms. Potts?” JARVIS piped in. It made her look at the ceiling, it felt weird for a voice not to have a body.
“Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking, JARVIS.” Pepper said in an appreciative tone.
“Well, then I guess I have that.” Netty shrugged, and her eyes went right back to her skates. She wished she could put them on right now so she could avoid feeling everything. She took a deep breath as she tried to calm her nerves. It barely worked. She heard someone clear their throat. It made her look up, her eyes focused, sharp and attentive looking for who made the noise. She found Pepper’s eyes, and it had been her. “What else is in the bag, Netty?”
“I… just my Harry Potter books. Everything else is clothes.” She took them out and showed them to Pepper.
“Oh yeah, I heard about those.” Pepper said in conversational voice. So the rest of the conversation continued with Netty telling Pepper about the plot of the Harry Potter series, in a detailed fashion, leaving nothing out. Tony helped to keep the conversation lively by adding in his brand of comedy and JARVIS decided to simply keep quiet. Eventually, Tony took a seat. Time passed, and with it came JARVIS’s voice after a length of it had gone by.
“Sir, I have an incoming call from Dr. Williams. Where would you like to take it?” JARVIS stated after a couple of hours. It reminded Netty that she was not there to simply talk; not that she needed reminding, but it just served to bring it to the forefront. The tension in the room was back with a vengeance. The emotions that had calmed down to what felt like swirls, now thy felt like full on tornadoes and they were tearing down the weak walls she had managed to rebuild inside. The tears were back in her eyes, she could feel them trying to let loose, but she wasn’t letting them make their way down her cheeks
“Here is fine, JARVIS,” Tony stated plainly. She turned her head to where he was seated. He seemed to be thrumming with energy; as if he were a wire and it was giving a steady electrical feed that could power all of San Francisco. He must have felt her eyes on him, because he turned his eyes in her direction. His walls were back and she could not make out a single thing. Whatever he was thinking, though, caused his eyes to narrow and harden even more.
“Alright, Sir,” JARVIS responded. Netty paid attention to Pepper, and the woman radiated grace and an underlying tension that would only be found if you looked hard enough.
“Hello, Mr. Stark,” Dr. Williams greeted.
“Dr. Williams, just tell me what I already know: that there are no mini Starks,” Tony let out with frustration and agitation slipping into his voice
“Well, actually, the results came back as a match. Ms. McKinley is your daughter, Mr. Stark.” Tony’s head snapped up in disbelief. Netty could feel everything inside burst into zillion pieces, the thread of composure she had been clinging to had just unraveled. The rest of the conversation she really couldn’t pay attention to or make any sense of it. Her eyes were leaking water; it felt like the tears just would never stop falling. She then felt arms came around her. Pepper, she guessed.
Netty turned her whole body towards Pepper, climbing on her lap and just bawling into her shirt. Pepper just held her while she rocked them back and forth. Netty was feeling everything she had avoided for the day. She had come up with a nice little recipe of relief, fear, panic, abandonment, and many more emotions, but those were really the only ones she could distinguish among the massive range of emotions that currently consumed her. She couldn’t breathe through her nose anymore, so her whole body started to heave as she let the air in through her mouth. She continued to pour her little heart out and Pepper kept the steady motion of rocking the whole time. She clung to whom she had dubbed the Fairy General with her tiny fists clenched onto Pepper’s silk shirt. The tears kept raining down on her cheeks like little daggers that pierced what little stability she had been able to gather.
After what felt like hours, she felt herself come down from the rollercoaster. The tears were still coming, but they had slowed themselves down. Her body wasn’t trembling anymore. It had reduced only to a light shake as she breathed. Her emotions were still a mess, but now she was able to handle them.
“Sorry about your shirt,” she struggled to say into Pepper's shirt as she raised her gaze towards the woman.
“Netty, is that a scar?” Pepper asked in concern, pushing Netty’s bangs to the side. She pressed a careful caress on her brow.
“Is that a stitch, honey?” her voice was slowly climbing to a steady panic as she questioned.
“How did it happen, Netty?” Pepper continued her inquisition.
She felt as Tony rapidly made his way over to her, so she turned her body towards him and he looked at her brow. His rough fingers came up to the spot and lightly touched the area. She felt some sort of warm fuzzy feelings coil up in her belly at his caress. She leaned into his fingers at her brow just a tiny bit, she couldn't help herself. His eyes inspected the damage, as he made sure that it was all okay. His eyebrow lifted in question as if to prompt her to answer Pepper. He slowly removed his fingers from the affected area.
“Well… I… um, was playing around with a toaster and a piece of metal popped out and hit my that spot.” She tried to feed them the lie that everyone else had semi believed. Her tone was hesitant and they were not fooled for a second.
“You can tell me the truth, Antoinette,” Pepper said, holding her face to make sure she was looking into her eyes.
“Yeah, what she said, Ant,” Tony helpfully added.
“Ant?” Antoinette questioned.
“You’re tiny and you get all red when you are angry and I can easily step on you,” He defended his nickname for her “You remind me of an ant.”
He said as if everyone came to those conclusions, “So yeah… Ant.”
She glared up at him, but inside she was so giddy. She had gotten a nickname and sidestepped a topic she had wanted to avoid all in one go.
“Listen to Pepper and answer the question, Ant.” And her mood dropped just like that. That giddiness was still right under the surface, though.
“Fine. Eliza threw a bottle of alcohol towards the wall but a tiny piece of glass came my way and it hit me there.” She muttered, avoiding eye contact and lightly touching the butterfly stitch on her eye.
“Kayla is a neighbor that took me to the ER to get it stitched up.” She looked up and Tony’s eyes were pure fire. Pepper was on the same boat, as her eyes were ablaze, too.
“So, apart from a being a great mother, she is also an alcoholic,” Tony let out dryly. “Fantastic.”
Tony looked like one of her explosions minutes before they went BOOM.
“You look like one of my experiments when it’s about to explode.” Netty shared her observation with everyone in the room. She even accompanied it with hand gestures that imitated an explosion. With all the wisdom an eight-year-old could conjure up, she added. “Can I call you Daddy?”
And that did it. Tony went off the rails with that. Like one of her experiments, he went BOOM.