signs
I like to think of the little things. Whether it's good or bad, I will take note of everything and everyone.
I like to think she likes me. Whether it's romantic or platonic, I sometimes believe she truly does want me.
One day we were together backstage with a few others. I was standing as we all waited for our que. Then there she was. She was passing through after she was onstage and looked me in the eye. She said "hi" and waved. I greeted her back. On the outside I looked fine, like I was simply talking to any other person. But on the inside- I was both confused and thrilled. She really talked to me? And willingly? It felt as if the things I truly wanted came true.
It was only a wave. In reality, that's all it was. I have a feeling she was watching when I would randomly wave at my friends. She probably just wanted to do the same to me. It's hard to feel special when it makes more sense that she just wants to social with someone rather than long to be friends with me specifically.
For example, there has been multiple accounts where she'll just randomly talk or do random gestures to others.
I really wanted to be special.
But there's more.
When she patted my head and hugged me, it felt so magical. You see, my friend was saying something to me in sign language, but I had no idea what she was saying. She must've said something mean (in a joking way of course), because she (as in the one I want) looked at me sadly and like I said, patted my head. I gave out a confused face; I had no idea what they were doing! It wasn't until she went in for a hug was when I decided to just go with whatever they were doing.
Her embrace was warm and soft, as if I could stand there in that hug for days. My arm wrapped around her back instantly as her arm wrapped around mine. I still have no idea what happened, or why she hugged me. I just know I had her attention and I loved it.
There's also been times where I feel like she has been staring at me.
Remember what I said about manifesting? Well, whenever I get the chance, I think that she's staring at me. And what's funny is that most of the time, I am right. I can see from the corner of my eyes that she is truly looking at me.
Or maybe I am just delusional. Who knows? But in my head she is looking at me, so that's enough.
Maybe I am becoming special.