Shit Show
Eddie felt like he was going in circles. Steve's apologies echoed in his head, even after he'd stopped.
Now, Eddie was sitting with his back to the headboard, shirtless. Scars on full display. Steve was pressed against him, nestled in his lap, with his head resting on Eddie's shoulder.
Eddie could feel every breath he took. Every exhale dusted over his neck, tickling his hair against his skin.
Steve was dozing. Out of it, but not asleep or unconscious, like earlier. It was a relief, having him back.
But it also scared the hell out of Eddie.
Because, what if he had another episode?
What would happen if Eddie had an episode of his own? Or if he had another flashback?
Steve, the man who held his heart, had tried to kill himself.
Again.
Right in front of him.
It made Eddie's stomach churn with anxiety. They shouldn't have to deal with that. It wasn't fair. After all they had been through–
"You're stressin' yourself out," Steve mumbled into his neck.
Eddie hummed his acknowledgement.
That was another thing he wasn't sure about. Steve had done something. While he was having his breakdown.
Something that had had his nose bleeding, and had Eddie feeling emotions he wasn't sure were his own.
After it all ended, Robin told him that Eleven's nose bled when she used her powers. But that didn't reassure Eddie, at all.
He'd felt it. The absolute terror.
The despair.
Everything Steve was feeling.
It made Eddie feel sick.
Steve shifted against him, uninjured arm winding around his waist. He sighed contently into Eddie's neck.
Eddie held him close.
He knew this was the quiet before another storm. That it would end soon. That one of them would be thrown into another, inevitable, shit show.
So he held onto the moment while he could.
And, despite the circumstances, Eddie had never been happier.
A light tap on the bedroom door is what woke Eddie from his nap.
Through bleary eyes, he could see Max standing in the doorway. She looked nervous. It was almost unsettling to see it on the girl.
Eddie waved her in.
She wasted no time shuffling over to the bed and making herself comfortable at Eddie's feet. She was looking back and forth between him and Steve with an almost curious expression.
"What's up, Red?"
Eddie kept his voice at a whisper, mindful of Steve, who was draped over him in a way that must have been uncomfortable.
"I was really scared." She admitted after a long moment.
Eddie gave her a soft smile, which he hoped displayed his understanding.
"Like... up until Wayne got involved, I was pretty sure I was gonna die."
He nodded along with her words. "There's something about having an adult involved, isn't there? A sort of... comfort."
She agreed quietly, looking at ease with his confirmation. Eddie patted the bed next to him, inviting her closer.
Max only hesitated for a second, before crawling over and flopping down onto the pillows.
Eddie stayed quiet for a long time, after that.
Max seemed content sitting in silence, but he suspected she also didn't want to wake Steve.
Steve, who had slid down into Eddie's lap soon after he'd fallen asleep. He was half curled around Eddie's legs, head resting on his thigh. He looked adorable to Eddie.
"Thank you."
Eddie turned to look at the girl. She had her gaze fixed on Steve as she spoke.
"For loving him."
It caught him off guard. He hadn't expected to hear that from any of the kids, let alone Max.
"It's not hard."
She snorted softly, fingers tracing shapes on the bed. "No, but... not a lot of people tell him. And I know you will."
Max was smart beyond her years, and Eddie was insanely glad Steve had figured out how to save her.
She spoke like she knew them inside and out. Maybe she did, at some point.
But they were different now. It had been months since they'd had any meaningful conversations with the Party. Ones that stuck, at least.
"I'll remind him, everyday."
She gave him a small smile, eyes darting up to meet his, before dropping back to the sheets.
"You know... Steve's like a big brother to me. More than Billy ever was. And- well... I think he's a good role model for the others."
"Not for you, though?" Eddie teased, quietly.
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. I guess for me, too. It's just... for a while there, I wanted to hate him."
Eddie wanted to ask why. To demand answers. But he had a feeling that if he did, she'd shut down; bring those walls back up. So he stayed quiet.
"All he ever did was work, bicker with the guys, try to pick up girls... He seemed superficial, to me. Like Billy, just with less hate and... pain. And it took me a long time to realise he wasn't like Billy. He's just... Steve. Who didn't realise he was Bi until the world was ending, and ran head first into danger, just to protect us."
Oh.
She knew.
She knew Steve.
More than Eddie had expected her to.
And she loved him, regardless.
That made Eddie's heart warm. Knowing Steve had at least one of his kids to back him up.
Eddie had very little doubt about the others. In fact, he was pretty sure half of them were at least questioning.
But, the knowledge - the implication - was there. Max loved Steve, no matter what.
Eddie reached out and grasped her hand. She startled, and moved to pull away, but stopped when he caught her eye.
"Thank you, Max. For loving him for me. I promise I'll take care of him."
Max nodded firmly, and he let go of her hand.
"Just don't go pulling his pigtails, like Billy did, and we'll be good."
Wait, what?
What did she mean by that?
"Red... you know what that saying usually means, right?"
She rolled her eyes again. "Of course I do, dumbass."
"So... are you implying what I think you're implying?"
The girl sighed, her braids swinging as she turned to look at him, fully.
"Yes. Billy had a huge gay crush on Steve, and he wasn't exactly subtle about it. Why do you think his dad treated him like shit?"
"Oh."
"Yeah, 'oh'... I think Steve knew - in some subconscious way. Like, when you know someone's looking at you without seeing them. You know?"
Eddie hummed in thought.
What a shit show.
He looked down at Steve. He combed his fingers, in a feather-light touch, through the other man's hair.
"Yeah... I know."