I Can Handle Myself
Two days after saving your brother, you and Bucky were lying on one of the couches in the Avengers Tower. You had your legs thrown over the side and your head on his lap.
“How are you doing?” Bucky asked as he absentmindedly stroked your hair.
“I’m alright, considering. I’m still processing everything,” you replied, closing your eyes.
“What’s going to happen to Ryan?”
“He’s going to be seeing Sam everyday for the next while until he gets better, and then he’s going home,” you said, shifting your weight so you lay on your side. Bucky let his hand fall over your shoulder and you reached up and laced your fingers into his.
“Sam… a friend of Steve’s, right?” Bucky said, a strange tone tainting his voice.
“Yes. You’ve um, you’ve met him before, in… D.C.,” you said, sitting up carefully, without letting go of his hand. Bucky went silent for a moment and you nudged him softly with your shoulder.
“Yeah, I… I think I remember,” he muttered to himself, frowning slightly.
“I’m sorry James; I’ve been so preoccupied with everything that’s happened that I haven’t even asked how you’re doing! I’m so sorry, are you okay?” you exclaimed, mentally face-palming at how inattentive you’ve been. Bucky sighed with a small smile and nodded.
“Don’t you worry about me doll, as long as you’re okay, I’m okay,” he said softly, squeezing your hand. You knew he was lying but you felt your chest constrict.
“Thanks Buck, but if you’re not doing great, please don’t let it bottle up,” you pressed, kissing him on the cheek.
“I hear ya doll,” he smirked, wrapping his human arm around you. You smiled and leaned into him. His smirk dropped and he looked into your eyes, his wide open. There it was again. That look had resurfaced, the one that he gave you on the stairwell at the HYDRA base. He gulped and leaned towards you, his lips meeting yours briefly and sweetly for just a second. You felt your heart flutter and you limbs weakened. You sighed gently and took a shaky breath.
“What are you thinking?” you whispered.
“How lucky I am to have you,” he blurted. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and broke eye contact, staring at the coffee table. He glanced back up at you as you felt a blush creep into your cheeks.
“Uh… do you want a cup of tea?” he continued quickly.
“Sure,” you smiled as he got up out off of the couch. He took your hand and kissed it before wandering into the kitchen. As soon as he left, you heard footsteps behind you and found Steve walking into the room.
“How’s it going, (Y/N),” he said brightly, plonking onto the couch next to you.
“Everything’s fine, Stevie,” you said sleepily, yawning soundlessly.
“Good… and things with Bucky are…?” he pressed, trying to seem nonchalant.
“Steve, if you have something to say, spit it out,” you said, laughing slightly.
“Okay you’ve got me; I just wanted to tell you that if you’re going to be serious with Bucky, you need to know that he’s been through a lot-” he began before you interrupted him.
“Steve I know what he’s been through, his life is pretty much a history book with a few pages torn out,” you rolled your eyes.
“Okay, but speaking from experience, it might be a long time before he can admit that he might have real feelings for someone, so just be patient,” he explained empathetically. “He could feel it, and show it, but there’s no telling if he’ll ever be ready to say it.”
“Sometimes, I think I can see it, in his eyes, y’know,” you said with a sad smile. “I’m not sure if I’m there yet, I haven’t had much luck in this kind of thing, but it’s like every time I see him, I get all weak-kneed and my heart races and I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be all the time, and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon.”
Steve pulled you into a hug and you were smothered by his shoulder.
“You better not be trying to steal my girl, punk,” Bucky remarked as he walked in with two cups in his hand. You laughed and pulled away from Steve.
“He’s in for a tough job if that’s the case - thanks,” you joked, taking one of the cups from Bucky. He winked back and crushed himself into the space between you and Steve. Cap scooted along the couch to make room for him, blushing slightly. Bucky wrapped an arm around your shoulders and sat casually, taking gulps of his tea every once and a while. You let your head fall onto his shoulder and sighed happily, warmth spreading through your heart and chest.
“Aw, you guys,” Steve cooed, “… go get a room.”
“Later,” Bucky smirked and you elbowed him in the ribs.
“But that’s none of my business,” you said, sipping your tea nonchalantly.
“Is that a reference?” Steve piped up, his face contorted in confusion. Bucky looked at you expectantly to explain but you shook your head and stifled a laughed. Then something that had been skirting around in the back of your mind finally came to you.
“What happened to the HYDRA agent that led us back to the lobby?” you asked suddenly.
“I knocked him out,” a voice from behind you announced. You looked over Bucky’s shoulder to see Tony strolling in leisurely. “The second Mister No Feelings grabbed you, I showed that guy my Knuckles of Steel!” He swiped the air with closed fists and smirked.
“Hey, I’m not tolerating any stupid nicknames you give to Ryan, okay?” you chided. Tony lifted his hand and waved you off, walking into the kitchen, muttering something about bad security and HYDRA stepping up their game.
“Someday, I’ll beat his metal ass with my metal arm,” Bucky snarled. You could tell he was joking; it wasn’t often that he acknowledged the existence of high-tech bionic limb.
“He’s a pain in the ass, but he means well… most of the time.”
Steve shrugged and heaved himself off the couch.
“Time for training, you up for it, Buck?” he asked. Bucky hesitated and looked into his cup. You wiggled out from under his arm and stood up, chugging the rest of your tea.
“Bucky sweetie, don’t feel the need to have to keep me company the whole time,” you said with a smile. “I’m going to visit my brother anyway.”
“Maybe someone should go with you?” Steve pressed anxiously.
“I can handle myself.”