Planning and Blushing
The next morning both Angie and Peggy slept late, but Angie a little later than Peggy. Angie woke to hear dim noises outside her room, and then, as she stood up and walked across a few creaking floorboards (even in this house), she heard Peggy's alluring and beautiful voice call, “Is that you Angie?” and replied, “Sure, English.” with little energy or (in her opinion) attractiveness. Instead, she was certain Peggy could hear the odd, tired tone of her voice that she was sure carried, even through the heavy, fancy doors in Mr. Stark's house. Well, their house really, Angie thought. It was a thought that made her grin as she got ready... to leave her room.
It was so strange to think about. Sure, at the Griffith 3C was a little tight, but within it she'd always been as lazy as she pleased. Unless she had to leave it, she hadn't given a second thought to make up and the like. It was only when she had to go eat, or visit Peggy. Although this room probably bigger than her little apartment, it was so strange to get ready as soon as she got up. She'd lounged around so much before, had the place to herself... but now Peggy was always out there (unless she'd fallen asleep, looking as much like an angel as she ever did), so she'd have to present herself nicely, or else... well, she blushed as she applied her lipstick in the mirror. At her own house... with her mother and everyone... well, she'd barely cared about being ready, for the whole day on the weekend usually. The Griffith kept her a little more in check, but apart from Peggy, she had a bunch of friends who might visit her, and she didn't really care if she was dressed up or not. But now, with Peggy... well, it wasn't really a question of whether or not she cared, so much as a matter of impressing her.
Of course, Angie was glad she lived in this house... with Peggy. She would share an apartment smaller than 3C with Peggy. Though a phone in each room... the cook... 6 bedrooms... they all helped. This house was different than anywhere she'd ever lived... not that she'd lived many places. But it was strange... large and empty and often unused. She was so used to ever couple of feet belonging to someone. Lots of sound, and company. Though Peggy was company enough when she was there. It was only that often she wasn't. At least, not mentally. But Angie put that all out of her mind. She could put up with most anything for Peggy, and a bit of alone time sure wouldn't stop her from sharing a house with her beloved.
When Angie finally emerged from her room, ready for Peggy to see her, it was clear that the same could not be said for her. The woman who apparently ranked as an Agent (even if she didn't know much yet, Angie knew that) sat on a couch from which she could watch Angie's room (well, that had been Peggy's intention, but now Angie could clearly see her), legs and arms sprawled about carelessly as she read a file, stuffing her mouth with jam and bread. Upon seeing Peggy shoving pieces of jam covered bread into her mouth (which bulged at the sides of her mouth as she had difficulty chewing it all) with the grace of a toddler, Angie could only find it endearing. Well, endearing and amusing. The food reached her mouth at such a steady rate that Angie could literally hear Peggy scoff the food down, as if in a cartoon. She giggled, “Gee English, got enough food there?”
Peggy quickly sat up straight, reddening a little and attempting to gain some composure. She attempted to chew the food quickly, but failed, and ended up sitting there, chewing furiously as Angie grinned, before she could finally swallow it and chocked out (with an attempt to sound somewhat dignified), “I... I... yes. Would you care for some breakfast?”
“Is there any left?” Angie teased, walking over. She down beside Peggy looking critically at the remains.
Peggy went redder, “Of course there is! Don't you think I'd leave some for... oh... you're laughing at me... I see how it is.”
“Only 'cause ya looked so funny eatin' like that. You're always so graceful... it's an interesting side of you!” Angie assured her as she buttered a piece of toast.
Peggy scoffed.
“Besides, ya look cute when ya go red, I seen it before.”Angie added, taking a bite of the toast.
Peggy suddenly felt that the situation had become more serious than she'd realised, her heart seemed to beat a little faster, and began to wonder how her face looked to Angie. What expression should she make? At the moment it was blank. She hoped she didn't look angry... the guys at the office often thought she looked angry. But then, the guys at the office were meat-heads and she often felt angry there. Angie was looking away so she tried to study her expression a little. It seemed so effortless... so nonchalant. She tried smiling, but it felt a little forced. She tried not to think about it and shoved another piece of toast in her mouth without spreading anything on it. She figured that would allow her not to worry about it for a while.
“So,” Angie began, turning back to Peggy's vicious chewing (if Angie was talking again she wanted to be able to respond. She wished this didn't have to be so difficult. She tried not to dwell on why it was so difficult.) “We gonna plan this or what? I mean, I ain't goin' to work today. Don't ya remember... you don't mind right? Just... ya seemed fine with it yesterday... I thought it was so we could plan and all that jazz.”
There was a little pause as Peggy finished chewing and gulping down her piece of toast. “I... of course, I'm glad you're here Angie.” But she was lying... sort of. She'd always loved and craved Angie's company, it was never something she'd wanted to turn down. But today... well, she'd planned to have a bit of time to herself. In the late, late hours of the night she'd forgotten about Angie's day off. She'd planned to cool off a little. She'd told herself it was to focus on other things. But really, it was more so that she could distract herself from Angie... or at least, certain thoughts about Angie. She was was certain that this would prove difficult with Angie in the house. And especially in the same room as her... they were so close, even now she could tell it was hard to resist such thoughts.
She felt herself drawn to Angie's eyes. Or, more accurately, Angie's eyes drew her in. They seemed so intense, piercing... some nonsense like that, Peggy thought to herself, biting her lip. She sounded just like one of those cheap romance novels... Even though that would be ridiculous, she scolded herself. She couldn't be attracted to Angie. Not in that way. She'd thought about this all night. This would be strange for Angie at least. If she felt that way... at all. Not that she had confirmed the thought as a fact in her mind. It wouldn't, and couldn't work out. Angie had never shown any interest... in that manner. Surely she'd have noticed. She'd run through a few memories in her head last night, but she felt certain that any traces of romance in them were sleep-deprived delusions. .. Angie wouldn't like it. Not that she wanted Angie to feel comfort with such feelings from her. The idea was something that had danced in the back of her mind at other times... but with the war, it seemed different. It had felt like a different time. So many things had felt strange, new, different... she'd wondered about her past... her thoughts... everything had felt strange. She'd seen things with a new perspective. The war, Steve's passing... she'd supposed that everything would feel the same way it always had. Not better, but familiar.
Of course she'd been wrong. Everything had been different. She knew she shouldn't have expected any different. None of the men at the S.S.R. would understand, she could accept it now. But after the war, and the excitement and the... the loss, and sadness and... thrill. It had felt so strange... uniting, awful and so beyond anything she had ever experienced. Now, back here, in America, with the war over, everything was completely different. It was duller, and sadder... there was a sort of unity between people who had had the same experiences... sometimes. But it also felt like a big shock. As if all of this... connectedness she'd found with so many... all this acceptance... was gone. It was as if during the war things were so desperate people just understood that you couldn't do a ridiculous amount of paperwork just to get things done, sometimes you just had to go in and get it done. Just go ahead, and no one would stop you, man or woman or... well, anyone was allowed to do anything. People understood that. Now, it was back to the dullness, the ignorance... a lot of paperwork and barely any actual work. Now things felt... in some ways more complicated... everything was so changed, and she couldn't just cut through the paperwork any more, all the things people started understanding during the war seemed to have disappeared from their minds collectively or something. Or, even worse... they still understood, but they had to keep quiet. Like it was some big secret that this stupid paperwork didn't really matter a lick. But then... with the war over, some people just understood things... sadness and loss... the silent ones who understood. They'd leave her be, they'd understand. She knew she had their support, just as she'd support them. So many people had changed, when people thought she'd changed too, it didn't matter much to them. Everyone wanted a fresh start. That was something she preferred. That was less complicated, some little comfort. But even with all these differences... Peggy hadn't expected to wonder anything about... women... girls... romance... the way she had during the war.
She had figured it was just the war shifting her perspective, skewing everything. But now... well, now that same feeling, the strange feeling in her stomach... she could feel it. It was exactly the same. She had tried to deny it. She'd felt it a little before... with Peggy, and last night... and a couple of other times. But It was so small, she'd figured she was just imagining things. It was the same feeling she got from certain scents... scents that reminded her of Joan... scents she couldn't name or place properly... they just gave her that feeling. But she'd barely encountered them back here. But now, with Angie, she couldn't place any scent triggering it... she just... felt it. And it was undeniably strong. That odd feeling...
“English...” Angie startled her out of her own wandering thoughts, and Peggy jumped a little... which Angie found, well, just a little adorable (that was a lie, she found it incredibly and indescribably adorable), “I didn't mean to startle ya!”
“Startle...” Peggy replied foggily, feeling a little out of sorts, the feeling had a hold of her.
“You seemed all wide-eyed is all. Big eyes an' not knowin' where ta look! I won't tease you no more. I'm sorry, it's just... you're always so proper! The cat's meow an' all that. It's funny to see ya squirm... just a little.”
Peggy blushed a lot after that speech. That funny feeling seemed to be creeping up from her stomach and she tried to keep it at bay. Though, perhaps Angie really was attracted to her... just a little. The idea made her feel queer... a sort of melancholy hope. She tried to calm herself, and stop the thoughts from taking over her mind... her doubt. She couldn't allow herself to be too optimistic about this. She didn't even really know how she felt. Maybe Angie was just teasing, and maybe she was paranoid. But being called 'the cat's meow an' all that' by someone as keen as Angie, well... Peggy could barely keep herself together.
“I... I... yes, well, we ought to begin planning.”
“Planning?” Angie asked.
“Yes, for our... uh... relationship...” Peggy had tried to redirect the conversation to something less confronting, yet found it equally daunting... She tried to think of something less romantic, something they would need to plan... “How about we start with the details of our, uh... meeting, an living arrangements... things like that.”
“Sure, English. A spy like you oughta know.” Angie grinned. Peggy found herself wondering how soft that grin was... the looked pretty soft. And what they would taste like... feel like... Angie wondered how many men had kissed Angie. Women... She tried to push the thoughts away, they all made her feel... strangely uncomfortable, and upset. Disgruntled perhaps.
This was certainly going to be a long day... even if they'd had a late start.