A Good Plan
Peggy woke up on the couch with a blanket over her. This one that Angie always used of course. She mentally cursed her, but also felt a little grateful, even though she wouldn't admit it. Not to herself even. The house seemed a little cold, although she could see some sunshine streaming in through the gap between the curtains which were still drawn (of course, Angie always left them that way when she wanted Peggy to get more sleep!). She drew the blanket more closely around her and was glad she was still wearing socks. The mangled shape that the blanket had evidently contorted itself into during her sleep (she moved a lot more in her sleep since after the war) seemed to have all the warmth, and she wondered lazily if she could pretend to just be asleep still, despite the heavy feeling of guilt in her stomach. She felt a strange sort of conflict with herself, and somehow felt that if she didn't move that much... get out of the sleepy haze... maybe she couldn't blame herself... maybe she really was half asleep... she couldn't help it... especially in this weather. She didn't know how she would get out of bed. The parts of her face not already covered by her hair were being nipped at by a cool, frosty feeling, even when she pulled the blanket up closer to her face (though to do that she had to pull up her legs a little). As she lay there for a while, her eyes shut... she tried to concentrate on... well... nothing. She tired to push the guilt out of her head... the logic, the questions...
Instead she just focussed on her senses. She could feels the warmth on some parts of her body... the lowers points of her back and bottom and legs and feet. She could feel the tiny little parts of her body where she wasn't sure if the blanket was really there, and she couldn't feel it. Her left foot, her right lower arm, a tiny part of her thigh... little pockets of cool air that she found hard to ignore what she noticed, and now she was trying not to think to much she could feel her tongue... it feel a little dry, and she tried to swallow, and wet it again. Her mouth tasted of old cigarettes dimly, and some other unpleasant flavour which she sometimes got in the morning. She tried to swallow them, and ran her tongue along the walls of her mouth, feeling as if she were cleaning it a little. She licked her dry lips too.
She felt a little better... but a little run down too. Maybe she deserved some sleep after all. She certainly wasn't going to feel fresh any time soon... Suddenly she heard a loud automobile of some sort rush past her house and she jumped a little. She decided to sit up... the blanket still around her. She listened closely. She couldn't hear anyone in the house... and couldn't quite tell but it seemed like... the afternoon! God, it probably was the afternoon. In front the couch on the coffee table there was a pot of tea and a teacup... She sighed as she picked it up and could feel how cold it was. She poured it into the teacup anyway, at least it might wake her up a little. She also saw a stack of pancakes. Angie was too sweet. They still tasted pretty good, even though they, too had lost their warmth.
She sat up for a while, forcing herself to gulp down tea (she felt that maybe forcing herself to do that at least would mean she wasn't just relaxing, and therefore could sit a while longer, which she knew was ridiculous logic, but she wasn't thinking very clearly... she still felt a little tired), and slowly chewing mouthfuls of Angie's room-temperature pancakes. They rid her mouth quickly of he taste of cigarettes and morning breath. Eventually, as her thoughts gained more clarity, she realised that she still had to go to that bar! Dottie was on the loose! People were in danger! Well... at least she hadn't heard from Angie... who would be at work now...
And then it sunk in. She knew she had time off at the moment, and she'd be filling it with secret work, and work for Howard... and as much as she could... but thinking about this case made her feel like she some work that wasn't forbidden... she wouldn't have to keep it a secret from Angie... and all her exercising should pay off... She could start thinking of a plan. She wouldn't have to actually plan out things to keep her occupied... things to keep the guilt at bay... she had something real, something now to think about. Something she was actually genuinely worried about, and for all the concern she had, she was a little relieved... and thrilled. It felt the way it should again. She just had to think of a plan, and she could start taking action, being in charge again, putting her skills to actual use, and now she'd have Angie on her side to. She did feel sorry for Elaine of course, but she would make the best of this situation... and she was excited. She was somewhat freed from her guilt for now... and it felt a little good...
But she didn't really dwell on it that much, she had to make plans. She sat on the couch; hair a mess, a little bleary eyed, face not made up, wearing yesterday's garter and knickers and socks under her old dressing gown under a thin blanket, and yet she felt better than she'd felt in a while. There was shimmer in her eyes that there hadn't been for some time... and the actual good night's sleep (well perhaps good wasn't the right word, but appropriately lengthy) couldn't have hurt. She considered the options. She would have to learn what Dottie wanted. She needed to investigate and find clues. The best thing would be to be as upfront as she could without putting anyone in danger. She wondered if she could get away with telling Miss... Miller she thought. The owner of this bar... it would be best to be cautious... she couldn't know how good she would be at keeping information to herself. Some people just weren't... she'd met them. She decided that until she knew more about her, she should keep it a secret... if she went in to question her... she wondered...
As a woman, perhaps it wouldn't alarm them, but Peggy knew this was a matter of utmost importance (but also delicacy) and that perhaps conducting an official investigation would not be the ideal way to introduce herself to Miss Miller. Especially considering the reputation that investigators in an official capacity had in relation to... well, lesbians and the like. Thinking the word with clarity shocked Peggy a little, and she flushed. She'd known women... and men... who had been that way... homosexual. There were heaps of women in the war who were honest about it, all good workers. Well, honest about it to her, and very polite when she rejected them.... Although a strange stirring in her stomach had sometimes made her wonder if her feelings toward them was different... but she'd put the thought out of her head, there'd been a war on, and she hadn't the time the worry about such matters).
But somehow, thinking about them now... away from the war, and the excitement, and the necessity, the distractions of thinking about other things, being certain about Steve... it made Peggy a little nervous, and she hoped she wasn't being intolerant. She didn't intend to be. She'd had a great, sweet friend Joan who she'd loved dearly, a lesbian. She'd died in the war, and afterwards, many of Joan's friends who were lesbians too, were really sympathetic with Peggy and she made friends with them. But before that Joan had been a great comfort... always being kind and helpful to Peggy. She looked back now, wondering if maybe there'd been more to it than Peggy had thought. But Peggy had been as sweet to Joan as Joan had to her... they'd cared about each other. Done nice things for each other, once when Peggy was upset, Jon brought her violets, and Peggy had given Joan her rations sometimes on Joan's bad days. But then, Peggy reasoned she'd had friends like that when she was younger... girls who she'd been friends with, and it was much the same. They held hands and took walks together and... Surely those weren't... No... They couldn't have been. Those were friendships. They'd been friends. She'd had heaps of friends like that, she couldn't have been in love with all of them. That was strange... and they'd never said anything like that... or... no...
She did her best to put it all out of her mind. Miss Miller... being cautious... investigation... the bar. She would make sure to be careful, but not too late... She decided that she would talk this over as soon as Angie got back. Angie would know about this... she... A thought struck Peggy. What if Angie was... like that too? A lesbian. She allowed her to clearly think the word. She'd kept avoiding it in her mind... It seemed like such a crude word sometimes... but she let herself think it; what if Angie was lesbian? Surely she couldn't be... she'd never seemed it. But then, Angie had barely shown interest in a man... well, except that time when she'd talked about Steve... in the newspaper. But then, she did accept Elaine. But so did Peggy, she accepted girls like that. She didn't mind. She'd really loved Joan... as a good friend. So... she didn't know why Angie would know about those bars... she tried not to think about it... but it kept bothering her... and she didn't know why. But maybe she went with Elaine she reasoned... Going to those places alone might be scary. Especially if you're younger... how long had Angie lived at the Griffith anyway? Peggy couldn't be sure... but it wasn't really relevant. What was relevant now was that they figured out what to do. Peggy finally had an exciting case, worthy of her skill set, and she could help. She was ready to help...
Perhaps she should just go in and pretend... that she was one of them. It couldn't be that hard, and surely Miss Miller would be nicer to her that way... and if she said she hadn't known before... about being a lesbian... perhaps... she could say she'd been away with the war, and now she wanted to go to to a bar... something like that... maybe they'd be nice about it. It wasn't that she wanted to actually go there, acting that way... It was just that it seemed like the most logical course of action. Angie would probably agree... surely. She could probably get Angie to come along, seeing as how she knew so much about it... it would be only be right, and maybe she'd even met this bar owner. Though, it would make sense for both of them... if they pretended to be a couple. She felt a bit nervous about it, but felt that it was ridiculous.
She wondered if she were nervous about being deceitful, but she reminded herself that that was ridiculous, has had been deceitful for other cases, being that milk truck inspector, for instance. It didn't turn out all that badly. She supposed her nerves were about Angie's reaction. But if she explained, Angie probably wouldn't mind... she hoped. Besides, it would be moral support. She didn't want to assume things, but Angie was always so supportive and there for here, and, well... now that she understood the circumstances and could be of service, she didn't see why not. She could help her keep up the façade, and then they wouldn't have to worry about rejecting anyone... just in case. Not that she thought that all the girls would fall over her... of course she remembered a couple of girls asking her, during the war... but it had been a desperate time. In a place like that, with so many women available, of course they wouldn't go for a girl like her. Not that she minded. She wouldn't want them to anyway. Well... perhaps she would be flattered, but... the safest thing to do would be to go with Angie. Surely some girls would try something with Angie, and she didn't really like the idea.
She wasn't quite sure why... well, she didn't want just anyone for Angie. Angie was so sweet... what if she didn't know how to reject them? Not that Angie wasn't capable of handling herself. But Angie... well, she could date anyone she liked. Well, anyone who respected her. Peggy told herself she was just overreacting. She would explain this to Angie, and then Angie could tell her what she knew about this place, and they could go and make friends with the owner... maybe ask to do a private investigation... or at least talk with her privately, and eventually, maybe explain to her about Dottie... She'd ask Angie about whether or not it would be casual when she...
“Peggy!” she heard the distant shout from the door.
“Angie?”
Peggy heard Angie shout as she walked towards the room... she couldn't make out everything, but by the time she could close to the door she heard something like, “...Pegs, I hope ya been restin'! I made ya pancakes an' I make sure you was real comfortable... I mean, ya seemed real comfortable... last night. When I uh... stayed with you. But I knew when I got up and ya still didn't wake up that you oughta get a good sleep. You feelin' okay?”
“Just fine.” Peggy answered as Angie entered the room.
“Oh Gosh English, I ain't seen you sleep so long in ages. I'm so glad.” she rushed over to sit next to her. Peggy smiled. Angie hadn't been not angry to see her for such a long time. She felt her heart swell, and she found herself leaning on Angie's shoulder in her comfort. “Oh Angie, I'm quite glad today, that I slept so long...”
“Well that's a shock.” Angie said, laughing, “You okay though?” feeling Peggy's weight on her shoulder (not that she minded).
“Oh, yes, I really am.” she smiled, “I've been thinking about the case actually.”
“Oh, me too! I was looking out all day for Elaine, but I didn't see her at all... I almost dropped by to talk to her, but I thought I'd better come back and check on you,”
“Check on me!?”
Angie ignored her, “And see what you thought about the case too.”
“Angela Martinelli! Are you suggesting that I, an Agent, am incapable of handling her own affairs?” Peggy persisted, sitting up again.
Angie grinned and leaned in to hug Peggy and said, “Why Agent Margaret Carter, I just think you can sometimes use a little help.” and kissed her swiftly on the cheek before cuddling her again. Even though Peggy was certain that Angie hadn't intended to fluster her, Peggy did feel that after all these thoughts about girls... who loved other girls... and Joan... all this speculation... she thought about the kiss a little more than usually would. Though, of course she would never admit this to Angie.
Trying to gain her composure, the decided to change the subject. “Well anyhow, I wanted to talk to you about what we're going to do.” she paused, then blushed, then became very professional and sat up quite sternly. Angie felt the shift and sat up to look at Peggy properly,
“About Dottie I mean. Well, of course you'll realise that Dottie Underwood is an alias. She says she's from Iowa, and she may have visited, but she was born in Russia, and was raised in a training facility for young girls in which they were trained to become the ultimate weapons. I have seen this training facility, and one of my men was killed by a young girl who was a result of facility. I must warn you that they are brutal, they will use any trick or advantage they can, they are highly skilled, impressive actresses and they will take your life with a moments' notice. Based on this information, I suggest we alert no one to Dottie's identity as of yet. As long as none of the women at this business threaten her mission, possibly to locate myself in a vulnerable place (such as our house, or some other location outside of the building where I work). This is, I assume to either gain leverage over the previously mentioned business or Howard Stark. In both scenarios I suspect that she will not attack unprovoked, and she is fairly convincing. I should like to hope that she attacks nobody for some time... perhaps to establish trust with some of the girls... anyone who might assist her mission. I assume the reason she has left the Griffith is her being found out, or some similar thing. I do not assume that Mrs Fry found out her exact identity, but some other occurrence must have lead to it. With this information the logical conclusion is that she used Elaine for accommodation near it, and a connection to us. I suggest that we go to this bar, but at first do not reveal our motive. If you will allow it, I propose that we pose as a couple and befriend the owner, perhaps we might even talk with the other women and ask about Dottie. Perhaps we could say we were old friends. Or, that she was a former attachment, and therefore we do not wish for anyone to alert her about our visiting... do you have any questions, and do you disagree with any of my suggestions? Or do you have any other information I have not yet heard?”
Angie seemed to be a little flushed... and Peggy wondered if she were making her a little uncomfortable, and she didn't know how to say she didn't like to be couples with Peggy... and she shouldn't have said anything at all... or maybe it was a trick of the light... or maybe something else. She really didn't know. She quickly cut in before Angie could speak and added (well, practically yelled), “You don't have to be a couple with me!”
“Oh.” Angie replied quietly. “I just... uh... was gonna say you're so awful professional. It's strange to see ya talk like that. But I'll... I'll be a couple with ya. I mean... unless you...”
“No, good, thanks. Yes. Let's do it then. Good. That's a relief.” Peggy replied with her heart racing and her face glowing.
“Gosh English, if I didn't know better I'd-”
“But you do. So have you any additions to my briefing?”
Angie giggled, “No, sorry English, I ain't got nothin' to add to ya fancy briefin'.”
“Good.”
“So you ain't... uh... mad or nothin'?”
“What? Mad?”
“Well, you just looked so serious, and do ya just speak like that every time?” Angie nervously decided that she would move the conversation along. She couldn't tell if the flush in Peggy's cheeks was anger at the thought of Angie implying that they ought to be a couple (possibly shame, or embarrassment), or embarrassment at the thought that Angie had realised her true feelings... or a romantic nature. Angie wished to God it was the latter, but she highly doubted it. She dreamed on anyway, and decided that if fortune favoured her, the best course of action was to move on, before Peggy became even further in denial (Angie hoped) than she really was (Angie hoped).
“Every time...?”
“You do that bring thing. Ya know, all fancy and serious?”
“Oh, right,” Peggy laughed, hoping her face had lost some of its redness, she was great her heart rate had decreased as well, “That, it's just how I speak when I'm explaining... such things.”
“Sure English, then good.” Angie felt so excited about al this she could barely believe it. Probably not the best idea, but going on pure adrenaline, she felt herself moving to lean into Peggy in the cold weather. But before she could even come close, Peggy got up. She seemed to be a little nervous and distant and explained herself in a somewhat shaky voice, “Well, that's that then. I suppose... uh... we'd better... get to sleep. I mean... Oh!”
She sat down, suddenly realising that she hadn't thought everything through, she'd been so intent on getting away from Angie.
“What is it?”
“I... uh... are you free tomorrow?” Peggy asked hurriedly, despite Angie's giving up her attempt to cuddle her (although their proximity was still quite... notable, at least in Peggy's opinion. She could feel Angie's breath on her skin, and Angie's arm was so close... as well as other part of her body... her lips and her eyes... her neck... her breasts and... she tried to focus on the planning).
“Sure, I ain't got work tomorrow or nothing'”
“Good. Then, I hope you won't object to our... uh... investigation being tomorrow... perhaps tomorrow night? I mean... what time do you suppose is best, because we ought to go as soon as we can.”
“Well sure, I guess any time is fine, but nights are best, because ya know, them girls... uh... they probably go more often at night time, like, I guess in them other bars too.”
“Alright, so uh, perhaps I'll uh, borrow one of Howard's cars, get a few... uh... weapons and such together, perhaps we ought to prepare... you know... Have a cover story, and prepare the details of our... relationship. Then we'll go together at night.”
“Yes, sounds good.” Angie replied, “I... I mean, it sounds like a good plan is all. I'd be uh... I'm happy to do it then, and that all sounds just fine to me.”
“Alright. Good then.”
“Yes.”
Peggy stood up abruptly, cheeks glowing and said, “Well, goodnight then, Angie.” And almost ran into her room, shutting the door quickly (though she did her best not to slam it). Then, for the first time in a long time, Peggy got right into her nightclothes and got into her bed, with the intention of sleeping. However, this proved a much more difficult feat than it usually was (as usually when she did so she was beyond exhausted. Tonight her thoughts rested on Angie, and as she lay there, trying to deny her longing to touch Angie... Angie lay in her bed... trying not to think about whether or not Peggy really loved her. They both failed miserably and only fell asleep some hours later.