Meet the Avengers
From Tony’s bragging, Steve was made to understand that the Tower could comfortably withstand alien invasions (not that anyone was eager for another one of those), earthquakes, flooding on the Noah scale, nuclear blasts and, if necessary, attacks by Frost Giants.
He was not at all sure it would survive Peggy Carter and Angie Martinelli.
***
“Welcome, Angela of the clan Martinelli. I am Thor Odinson.”
Thor kissed Angie’s hand. She practically swooned. Steve rolled his eyes. “He’s taken, Angie.”
“So am I, Soldier. Jeez. I’m just bein friendly is all.”
Peggy crossed her arms. “He’s just a man, darling, no need to go all weak in the knees.”
“God, actually,” Thor corrected.
Peggy frowned. “Sorry?”
“God. I’m a god.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” Angie muttered, eyes wide.
“Not that one,” said Thor.
***
“So this condition of yours, it was brought on by radiation?” Peggy asked.
“Gamma rays,” Bruce said with a nod.
“And when it…flares up. You—”
“He turns into a big, angry leprechaun,” Tony said, passing them on his way to the bar. “A very muscular leprechaun. With purple pants.”
“Tony,” Steve warned. He was sharing a couch with Peggy, wishing he wouldn’t have to remove his arm from her shoulders if he wanted to deck Stark in the face.
“I’ve done test after test. We both have,” he indicated Bruce, “my brother of science and I. What I can’t figure out no matter how many times I try? How do those purple pants stay on? Everything else gets trashed, shirt, shoes. Never the pants. Honestly, it’s against the laws of physics. Cap, be thankful it was vita rays you got dosed with and not the other kind. Banner’s clothing bills are astronomical, and a nice shirt costs more than it did in 1945.”
Peggy looked between Steve and Bruce. “Is he always like this?”
“Yes,” both men answered simultaneously.
Peggy shook her head. “A Stark boy in more than just looks, I see.”
***
“Angela of the clan Martinelli. Tell me more of your homeland. Brooklyn, is it?”
Angie giggled like a schoolgirl. “Yeah. Angie from Brooklyn. Angela, I mean.”
Steve glared. “You’re never this interested in Brooklyn when I bring it up, Thor.”
“Perhaps I find Angela’s stories more fascinating than yours.”
“Perhaps Angela wants to visit the rest of the party, Thor.”
“Nah, I’m good here, thanks. Is your hair always that shiny, or do you have to treat it with something?”
***
“This is new,” said Natasha, detaching a small pack of darts from her belt “SHIELD’s tech guys developed it last month.”
Peggy took the darts with interest, turning them around between her fingertips.
“Hey, careful! Aren’t those poisonous?”
Natasha shrugged. “Obviously.”
“Oh Steve, do relax. I was handing poisonous materials long before you tried lying your way into the Army. Natasha, what else do you have there?”
Natasha grinned. “Oh, this one’s really fun. It looks like a knife, because it is a knife, but it’s not just knife.”
***
“I’m so glad Broadway’s still around. Way everything’s changed around here, I was afraid they’d replaced it with one of those Starbucks things.”
“No worries,” Tony said, flashing Angie a smile. “You don’t hit the Starbucks for almost half a block. I love the theater, love it. If you like, I could introduce you to some directors. I know directors.”
“Knowing all the chorus girls isn’t the same thing, Tony,” said Steve.
“I resent that. Why would you assume I’m only acquainted with the female cast members? I’m on great terms with several big name directors. And their wives.”
Angie made a face. “Definitely Howard’s kid, isn’t he?”
***
“Pretty damn impressive,” said Clint. At the bar, several glasses now had arrows sticking through them.
Peggy lowered the bow she’d borrowed from him. “You sound suprised.”
“Not at all. I started hearing the stories the minute I joined SHIELD. You’re a legend, Director.”
“Legend may be pushing it, Agent Barton, but I did earn top marks in archery back at school.”
“Legend’s a perfectly good word,” Steve said, beaming. “She earned top marks in everything, Clint.”
Tony’s voice interrupted them. “Hey, Rogers! You may want to take a break from buttering up your girlfriend. Your other girlfriend’s busy playing with Thor’s hammer!”
***
“So. You were raised by the same people who gifted the world with Dottie Underwood.”
“Angie, she—”
“Shut up, Steve. I’m mingling here.”
“It’s fine,” said Natasha. “Yes, I was trained by those people. I’m not with them anymore.”
Angie studied her a long time before turning to Steve. “You trust her?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
Angie nodded once, turning her attention back to Natasha. “Good enough for me. But if I hear anything about you, Peg and a tube of lipstick, you and me are gonna have words.”
***
“Look at this,” Tony said, flipping through channels on the plasma screen. “My Five Wives, Sister Wives, Big Love, I Escaped a Polygamous Cult. Well, last one’s a bad example, but the point remains. It’s a lot more mainstream than it was in your time.”
“Seriously?” Angie asked, eyes gaze shifting from the remote he handed her to the TV.
Tony nodded. “Might be a little more popular in some places than others, Utah for instance, but yeah.”
Peggy frowned. “Two of these programs are on the same network as …Say Yes to the Dress? What the bloody hell is that?”
“Dr. Banner’s favorite show. But not nearly as interesting as Sex Sent Me to the ER.”
Steve buried his head in his hands. “Stark. Enough.”
“What? It’s on The Learning Channel, it’s legit. Now look. From the extensive research I did while marathoning this stuff last night, you’re welcome, by the way, I’ve learned that some people in your situation like to add new people into the situation. If you ever find yourself thinking that three just isn’t enough, and who could blame you, I’ll have Pepper set something up on Craigslist.”
“STARK!” Steve yelled, finally losing what remained of his patience.
“What, what’d I say?”