Relentless

Zara continued to settle into her new routine of being at home in her apartment, having meals brought in, and daily visits from Dr Reeves. On most days Steve would drop in for a coffee and a chat, usually smalltalk with the odd bit of 'brotherly advice', but still nothing had been explained to her on what happened the day she went missing, or where she'd been. Only that it would all be revealed soon when she met all the people involved.
If there was one thing Steve was great at, it was dodging questions and skipping around the truth... Whatever happened to her that day, it must have made one hell of a story.
Zara had been understandably frustrated, but it was really something that Steve felt Bucky needed to be involved in, whenever he was ready. This had of course been problematic for Steve, juggling these two was becoming hard work, and he was just about ready to lock them in a room and let whatever happen, happen.
Steve made a mental note to give Bucky a kick up the butt, if Zara was asking questions, she was clearly ready to be told about it all, and mentally in a good place to handle it all without flipping out and going into meltdown. Bucky was going to have to suck it up and deal with it as soon as possible. Playing dodge-the-question was not helping anyone.

Bucky had been having appointments with Dr Reeves as well to help battle his stress and anger. The first couple of sessions he had clammed up on her, but when he finally started to open up she realized that he was really just intimidated by the whole situation. He felt deep down that he had let Zara down that day, he blamed himself for her 'death' and subsequent capture. He blamed himself that she was tortured for 6 months, beaten down both physically and mentally. If she never found her way to her old self again, he'd blame himself for that too. He had destroyed one of the only good things in his life, the one thing that had brought him back from the brink and he hated himself for it, every single day.
All he had left was anger, and the more people tried to push him, the harder it got. Dr Reeves had reminded him of Zara's past missions, and that nobody could have stopped her protecting someone she loved. She was annoyingly headstrong and overprotective.
"Reminds me of someone else..." Dr Reeves had teased, and Bucky had smiled. Actually smiled a real smile.
Small victories like that made it all worth it, and Bucky had agreed to finally meet with Zara. He was ready to put his fears behind him and do whatever he could to help her. If she hated him for everything that had happened, then so be it, but he owed it to her to try.

Zara's ankle had started to show some real promise and her ribs only bothered her if she coughed or knocked them, thankfully neither of these things happened very often. Dr Reeves ordered another x-ray to be taken the following week, and then if the bones had healed she could go into a moon boot and start some physio.
Zara had been glad to hear it, a fleeting smile had even crept onto her face if only for a second, but it had been there.
She was re-introduced to Natasha and took an instant liking to her, she was straight forward and said what she thought, so it had been refreshing. Unfortunately she had been another tight-lipped person when it came time for Zara to ask questions about her accident. It had been incredibly frustrating, but Zara tried not to hold it against her, or Steve for that matter. There were obviously protocols in place and all would be explained in due course... Unless she could rope someone into spilling the beans...
That would mean she'd have to make an effort to be friendly to others... The thought made her sick to her stomach, talking to people. Letting her guard down and letting people in. This was going to be difficult, but she needed to do it. Every person she spoke to she counted as a small victory, and it had been said right from the start that she needed to be more patient with others, and herself.
She had been told constantly that she was safe here at Shield, and nobody had ever given her a reason to doubt that. It was time to suck it up and start moving on.



Zara towel dried her hair vigorously and pulled it back into a messy bun, still wet. She dressed herself in her PJ's and turned the bed on, she was tired and looking forward to getting under the blanket and warming up after dinner with a movie. She looked at her watch the same time as her door buzzer went off. 6.05pm exactly. Routine had done her the world of good, she was a lot more relaxed when things flowed like clockwork.
She picked up her crutches and made her way over to the door, and was surprised when she was faced with a pretty young girl about her age, rather than the middle-aged lady who usually delivered her tray.
Zara had jumped upon seeing her but the blonde girl shot her a beaming smile and held the tray out. She looked harmless enough.
"Hi Zara, how are you feeling sweetie?" She asked kindly, batting her eyes, flashing those perfect straight white teeth, framed by glossy pink lips.
"Good thanks" Came Zara's reply.
"Oh now don't be shy around me, you know me. We were the BEST of friends. Where can I set this down for you honey?" She asked, a slight southern accent coming through.
Zara nodded over to the glass top table, the blonde girl skipped over and set the tray down, going over to the kitchenette and bringing back 2 glasses. She pulled a can of coke from her hoodie pocket and held it up.
"I brought you your favorite!" She said, almost as if bribing Zara to sit. She closed the front door and was surprised when the blonde girl sat at the table opposite her.
"Come, sit. I've already had my dinner, I want to talk to you. I believe there are a few things you wanna know" She said, raising her brows twice and giving a smirk. Zara was intrigued. The blonde poured the coke out between the two glasses and handed her one. Yep, this stuff was nice, Blondie must know what she's talking about.
"So... Lets cut to the chase here. What have you been told about the day you went missing?" Blondie asked, cocking her head in a 'know it all' kind of fashion. Zara shook her head and shrugged, her face blank.
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"Okay... Well have you gotten to meet everyone yet?" She asked, taking a sip of her coke.
"I've met Steve, Coulson, Natasha and then there's Dr Reeves, obviously." Zara said, keeping her eyes down.
"So you haven't met... Y'know... HIM?" she said, making inverted commas with her fingers as she spoke.
"Him?"
"Okay, I'll fill you in..." She said, pulling a bag of skittles from her pocket, pouring a few into her hand, and then into Zara's. Zara wondered how much else this girl had stashed in that hoodie of hers.
Blondie leaned in as if she was telling a secret, Zara listened in, hoping that this would answer all her questions. She had a feeling Blondie wasn't supposed to be letting her in on all this, but if they were best friends... Well best friends tell each other everything, right?

"They call him The Winter Soldier." Blondie said, lowering her voice. "He's a super soldier like Steve. Do you understand what that is?"
"Yeah, super strength and all that, right?"
"Super speed, stamina, heightened senses, the works... He's a master assassin. He's killed hundreds of people, and I mean HUNDREDS. Maybe even more than that. He shot Natasha twice and almost killed Steve." She said, letting her voice tremble.

Zara's heartbeat quickened. This guy HAD to have had something to do with her disappearance, she was sure of it. Why else would Princess, here, be telling her about this guy otherwise? This was getting interesting.
"He even has a metal arm-" She said, being cut off by a gasp. Zara panicked, loosing her breath. Blondie jumped up and ran to steady her. She was shaking like a leaf. Metal arm... The guy who had run at her the day she woke up had had a metal arm.
"I've seen him... He... He was here in the building..." Zara stammered, Blondie nodding at her as she sat Zara back down again, making her take a sip of her drink as she rubbed her back, soothing her.
"Are you okay? I don't want to give you a panic attack..."
"Too late..." Zara gasped, calming herself.
"I might leave the rest for another day, sweetie. I just wanted to warn you about him. He's here for rehabilitation, but only because he's Steve's closest friend. He is DANGEROUS. Make no mistake about that. If you see him, you RUN" She pleaded, Zara wide eyed and nodding, her lips parted.
"You run like hell, don't stop for a breath, and don't look back. He's a super powered, finely tuned killing machine, and he has a temper like a tornado. I've had a run in with him and I was lucky to get out alive. I won't say any more, but he played a big part in your dea- I mean disappearance... Just so you know." She said, giving a nod.
"Were you going to say death?" Zara almost whispered, earning a nod from Blondie.
"I'm sorry sweetie, we all thought you had died. It was just... Awful" She said, a big sad frown on her pretty face.

Zara sat in stunned silence. Here she was in a place where she was told she was safe, and there was a super powered half-robot killer guy on the loose. Who had a temper, and had caused her death, or disappearance, or whatever the hell happened.

Holy fuck... HOLY FUCK.

"Anyway, I should leave you to it. Sorry if I upset you, I just thought you needed to know the truth. I care about you Zara and I hope we can be best friends again. I just wanted to be honest with you. You deserve it, especially after all you've been through" She said, giving the biggest Texan Cheerleader smile there ever was.
"Well, there go my morning walks..." Zara mused under her breath.
"Oh no, don't let that stop you, he's locked up in the basement, and this is a secure level. Oh god honey, do you think I'd say all this just to frighten you? Oh lord no, bless you!" She pulled Zara in for an abrupt hug which wasn't returned.
"Sweet dreams, honey. I'm not too far away if you need me, I'm in room 192, and where are my manners!? You've probably forgotten my name, it's Rachael" She beamed, blowing a kiss and waving as she left. "Love ya!"
Zara let out a deep breath as she closed the door after Rachael left. She clicked the deadlock into place, at leaned her back against the closed door, her heart still racing. Her brain ran at a million miles per hour as she tried to get her head around all this new information.
Her stomach growled, interrupting her train of thought. She certainly didn't feel like anything to eat, but without a bin and her meals being monitored she'd have to force some of it down. Plus her medication had to be taken with food. She wandered over to the table, opened the lid on the tray and saw it was a roast dinner. It smelled freaking amazing, and she thought despite herself, she might be able to get a few bites in.



She hadn't slept the entire night worrying about Metal-arm guy. She had gone through every possible scenario in her head of what she might have to do with him - he shot her? Hit her with a car? Threw her off a mountain? Chloroform? Taken her in her sleep? There were no scars from being stabbed, but there was a few gunshot scars, the most recent one being in her side just under her arm. Maybe he shot her, but that didn't account for the memory loss unless he beat her over the head as well. She felt sick just thinking about it.
She must have done something pretty horrible to him to make herself a target. Why did he want to hurt her? Why the hell did Shield allow him and her to be in the same building together, whether he was locked up or not... What the hell was he doing in her room that day?
She gasped suddenly.
Barnes... Coulson had called him Barnes when he'd told him to get out. Yes that was definitely right, he MUST be James Barnes, Bucky as they called him, and that must be why they hadn't introduced him to her. Of course he was there the day she had her accident. Everyone kept telling her they had been close, she'd gotten that from a few people, only for them to go quiet, just clam up on her. But he'd had something to do with her disappearance... Yet he was dangerous. Locked up and in rehabilitation.
Had they had an affair that went sour? Was she a cheater? Was HE a cheater? Were they close friends who just had the absolute mother of fall outs? Why would she be close to a super powered killer, and then piss him RIGHT the hell off? It made no sense whatsoever, unless the whole 'close' thing was a crock of shit so that she didn't hate him?

The room was spinning, Zara forced herself to sit up.
There was no other explanation... Zara started to put the pieces of the puzzle together. They had been close, something had happened, something big. He had tried to kill her for it, and she had gone missing, presumed dead. Shield had found him and locked him up for it. He'd been given leniency for being a friend of Steve's, but since then he had attacked Rachael. Maybe he'd only been locked back up since then?
The timeline of events were sketchy at best, but at least there were enough clues to string something feasible together, and it was enough to make sense. It explained her disappearance, memory loss - she must have taken a hit to the head... Or several... It explained James Barnes' absence over the past four or five weeks, or however long she'd been back at Shield.
It was any wonder they'd kept him away from her. It was for her safety obviously.

Zara swung her feet over the side of the bed, reaching for her crutches as she made her way to the bathroom, going over everything in her head. She had resigned herself to the fact that Shield was a fairly safe place to be. She had a nice room, she was free to go wherever she wanted, she was receiving medical treatment, meals and snacks, and everyone had been nice to her. Even when she'd been not so nice back.
They were trying to help, and it was time she made an effort to be a bit easier to get along with. She rinsed her toothbrush after brushing her teeth, putting the toothpaste back in the cabinet, and pulled out a small bag, fishing a mascara from it and giving a smile.

Time to become me again...

She made a mental note to ask about those photos she'd been told about. There were photos of her and friends around Shield, she wanted to know who she was. She'd been told she was an excellent agent, and although she'd been sassy, she had been fairly well respected. It was time she got back on the horse.
She pulled her wardrobe open and pulled a pair of sweatpants on, choosing the nicest ones - a low slung purple pair with a brand name etched down one of the legs. It was the only thing that would fit over her cast. She let out a chuckle at the thought, and pulled on a long sleeve fitted shirt. It was a plain black V neck, she noticed there were a heap of them, all the same. Training shirts for the colder weather? Mission shirts? She made a mental note to ask Rachael when she saw her next.
She took a dark purple scarf from the back of the door, doubled it over and put it around her neck, pulling it through herself.

So much purple, black and red... Okay, those were my favorite colors then...

She pulled her hair back into a high ponytail and made her way to the door, scanning her card and stepping out. She had gotten into the habit of going for a wander through the corridors early in the morning. There was usually never anyone else up at this hour as it was still mostly dark outside, maybe a few red morning rays coming through the windows which for some reason she liked.
She usually went to the right, but today in light of her decision to try something different, to try to expand her horizons, she opted to go left instead.
Her 'walk' was a slow paced hobble, not so much for exercise despite the upper body workout it had been on the crutches, but more of an exploration journey. This whole end had been apartments, but as she got further down the corridor it became offices and training rooms. She noticed one was full of chairs and tables and something stirred in her gut. This room had meant something to her, but there was no memory to link to the feeling. She must have spent time in here. She spent a few minutes looking in through the window of the door. Such a strange feeling, it was like spying on someone, like she was looking at something she knew she shouldn't, and there was almost guilt. She let out a breath and took a step back, continuing along the corridor. There was noise she could hear further up, rhythmic bangs in sets of 5, the last one was usually louder than the rest.
Her stomach tuned over, and fear gripped her. Her head screamed RUN, but she had been running away since she'd been here at Shield, and it had gotten nowhere. It was time to be brave, keep on going. Nobody here was going to hurt her.
Her face twisted into a snarl as she fought against herself in her head.

You can't be afraid of everything forever...

This was hard. Harder than Dr Reeves had said it would be. She swallowed and pressed on, and as she got closer to the noise, she realized it was behind a door. Just some poor guy trying to have a workout in peace, and here she was thinking he was a psycho murder or something. Relief washed over her and she scolded herself for being so paranoid and making horrible assumptions about him. He was probably a perfectly nice guy. She stood a few feet away from the door, not wanting to interrupt him as he worked, but was enthralled watching him. So much control and power with every punch. He was a tall, muscular guy. Real muscular, maybe a gym junkie or something. She didn't have a great view through the tiny glass window, the sun was just starting to come up and it was getting quite glarey coming through the glass.
Just about time for her to get back, anyway. People would be getting up, and she felt she'd already conquered enough for one day than worry about coming face to face with a corridor full of Shield staff.
She let out a little laugh at herself, looking down at her feet, and as she did she noticed the banging sound stopped. She lifted her head, and noticed the guy in the gym was looking straight  at her, wide eyed and in shock. Her mouth opened as well and all she wanted to do was turn invisible and run. She was suddenly jealous of all the people around here who had super powers.
The man stepped out from behind the punching bag and that's when she saw it.

He has a metal arm... He's looking right at me and he has a metal arm...

She gasped and her hand shot over her mouth at the same time her heart rate quadrupled. Or maybe it stopped completely. She was sure it could have been either. The crutch that was looped around her elbow fell to the floor with a loud clang, the sound echoing up the corridor. Metal arm guy ran to the door, and Zara was frozen where she stood.

I'm going to die... This is it...

Her brain finally forced her body to move, taking a step back, and before she knew it adrenaline kicked in. The gym door swung open and she was face to face with him, only a few feet away. She was taken over by absolute panic as she threw the other crutch at him. He raised the metal arm and caught it. There was a loud ting of the metal crutch met that of his hand. The expression on his face was hard for her to read, if she had of known better she would have thought it was almost a look of concern. No, he was a master assassin. He was just trying to draw her in, those piercing blue eyes would be enough to draw anyone in, she was sure of it.

Run. Run like hell and don't stop to take a breath. Don't look back, he is DANGEROUS

Rachael's words echoed in her head over and over like a mantra. Zara had to get out of there. She turned to run and as she did, she tripped, going over backwards. He lunged at her suddenly and there was an impact behind her, which knocked the breath from her lungs before her head hit the ground.
Everything went black.

I'm dead...