Relentless

Zara's eyes creaked open, she felt like she was floating. Her feet were swinging with every rhythmical step he took, and her sore head was leaning against his warm, firm chest. She looked  up, too woozy to speak still. She saw a strong set of shoulders, and a sharp jawline above her, framed by long brown hair.
He looked down at her, lips pressed into a firm line, his expression not changing. Her eyes floated down the the arm under her knees, and the metal hand firmly gripping her thigh as he carried her down the corridor. She wanted to fight him, but she was dizzy. So, so dizzy. Her eyelids grew heavy again and she felt her body relax again as the blackness took her.



"No, she looks like she's waking up again now... What do you mean you can't get here?... Of course I'm not going anywhere... No, no!... Wait!... Fuck..."
Zara could hear him, it sounded like he was talking on the phone. There were footsteps, and then silence as the bed sunk down beside her.
She waited for it, the sting of a blade, hands on her throat, anything... But they never came. She forced her eyelids open, and looked up at him, her mouth open with shock as her heart rate went through the roof again.

Run! RUN!

Those words echoed in her head again. She knew she wouldn't get away from him but she had to try. She propped herself up on the bed and backed away from him as quick as she could go. His metal hand snapped forward and gripped her thigh, stopping her. She gasped, opening her mouth to scream, but his other hand was over her mouth at lightening speed as he crawled onto the bed, hovering over her.
She looked up at him, he was on top of her and she was pinned on the bed. His body was touching hers but he was supporting his own weight as he looked down at her. She trembled beneath him.
Zara started into his eyes as tears slid from hers, waiting for whatever fate was coming to her. She couldn't put a finger on the expression on his face, he looked like he was literally in pain, his brows pinched and his jaw clenched. This guy was about to snap.
They stayed like that for several moments, both waiting for the other to react. They glared into each others' eyes, trying to read any messages that may be hidden in blue orbs - hers wet and frightened, his intense and unwavering.
As if they were both unwittingly terrified of what the other might do, neither dared to move. Bucky swallowed hard before he had the courage to speak.

"Zara... I'm going to take my hand away now, but only if you promise not to scream" He said, his voice steady and relaxed.
Despite herself, she nodded her head slowly, and true to his word he slowly took his hand away, putting it down beside her other shoulder on the bed to balance himself, still hovering over her. Zara furrowed her brows, all she could think of was what kind of sick game he was playing with her. There was only one kind of guy who tries to pin a girl onto a bed without her consent...

Oh god...

The gravity of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks as another tear slid from her eye. There was no way she was going to be able to fight this guy off...
"Zara, you need to breathe" He said, looking into her eyes still. He was right, she had been holding her breath for god only knows how long.
"Please don't do this..." She pleaded, her voice small and shaky at best. She knew it wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot. He raised a brow, not quite sure what she was getting at.
"Do what?" He asked.
"You don't have to hurt me, I'm no threat to you..."
"What?" He asked as he sat himself up.
She felt the relief hit her the second he backed off. She propped herself up, if she couldn't fight him off, maybe she could talk him down.
"I know who you are" She said, her voice raspy. "I know what you're about."
He sucked in a breath, not sure where she was going with this. If she knew him, why was she acting like this? Unless he was right all along and she really did hate him...
"You do?" He asked, encouraging her as he pushed his long hair back from his face. "And what might that be?"
"Don't play games with me... I know you're the Winter Soldier." She said, keeping both eyes on him, not daring to look away for even a second. Bucky didn't know whether to laugh out loud or to smash a hole in the wall.
"Winter Soldier, eh? Been a while since I heard that name" He chuckled bitterly.

He looked over at her and couldn't believe she had the guts to challenge him in the state she was in. Part of him felt sorry for her, and part of him was fighting back the anger at the nerve she'd hit by bringing his past up. How the hell did she know any of that? That information was not something that people were permitted to discuss, and it certainly wasn't plastered around the place as public knowledge.

"What are you doing on this floor?" She persisted, trying her best to not look frightened, the tone in her voice betraying her. "You know you shouldn't be up here"
"Zara, what the HELL are you talking about?" he demanded right back at her, unintentional anger creeping into his tone, making her tremble all over again, which he instantly hated himself for.
"As I said before, you don't have to play games with me. I know you got cut a bit of slack for being a friend of Steve's, but if you hurt or kill me, they'll lock you up for good... Just think about that"
Bucky shook his head, he had just about heard enough.
"And where, pray tell, did you get all this information?" He asked, clenching his jaw, controlling himself the best he could.

He was pretty sure he already knew the answer. Zara shook her head defiantly. Bucky got up, standing beside the bed and reached down to her good leg. He gripped it and pulled her over to him, and leaned over her, looking into her eyes. He knew how to be intimidating when the occasion called for it. He'd already frightened her, so he didn't have much more to loose. At least he'd have a name, and that person was going to pay dearly for planting seeds like that in Zara's head.

"Tell me." He growled, leaning closer to her again.
"I can't..." she stammered, heart racing.
"Well, you're still stubborn" He said, rolling his eyes and backing off. "Never mind, I have a pretty good idea who it was. I'll be having a chat to her later..." He said, keeping his voice low, changing his mind about the whole 'intimidating' thing. It was time for a new approach. He sat down beside her, leaning back on his elbows and looked over at her.
"Zara, I'm not going to hurt you" He said finally, letting out a long, exasperated breath.
"How do I know that?" She asked, raising a brow.
"Well, I just picked your clumsy ass up off the floor this morning, carried you back here and you're safe, aren't you?" He almost laughed.
"I don't know, am I?"
"Are you alive?"
"I think so..."
"Zara, if I wanted you dead, you'd be dead. I'm very, very efficient" He said, one side of his lips curling into a smile. The look on her face told him that she definitely didn't trust him, but he did make a good point. That and she'd stopped screaming and trying to run away, which was a small victory in itself.

"So, do you go by James Barnes, or do we call you 'Winter Soldier'?" She asked after a few moments of silence.
"I'm not the Winter Soldier. If I ever hear someone call me that, I'll make them regret it" He said, cocking his head.
"My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky" He said, giving a small smile. She nodded, still trying to work him out.
"So what's your story, James 'Bucky' Barnes?" She asked, still watching him carefully, arching a brow. He chuckled and let out a sigh. Zara sat up slowly, rubbing her head as she did.
"Here, I thought you might need these when you came to" He said, sitting up and handing her the aspirin he'd left on her bedside table and a cold glass of water.
"Not poison?" She joked, earning another laugh from him.
"I guess there's only one way to find out" He said. "Sounds like you've still got your sense of humor" He smiled at her. She popped two pills from the blister pack and took them together with a mouthful of water, before handing the glass back to him.
"Thanks"
"Don't mention it"
"So you didn't answer my question" She said, looking up at him again. He bit his lip, looking down. It wasn't easy for him to talk about his time at Hydra, but he knew he'd have to re-hash it sooner or later...
"Well, the long version we'll save for another time, but the short version is that I was taken by Hydra, back in the 40's."
"The 40's, how old are you!?" She said, somewhat shocked.
"I was born in 1917, so technically... Pretty old" He laughed. "I spent a whole lot of time frozen in cryo for the best part of 70 years though, only coming out for a few weeks at a time. So we think I'm somewhere around the late 20's, early 30's mark. There's no way to know for sure"
"... So do you age like normal?" She said after a few moments of silence, contemplating what he was saying.
"Yeah, I think so. The cryo kept me young, but I think now that I'm out of it, I'll just age like anyone else - minus the getting sick part" He explained, Zara nodding periodically.
"So is the assassin thing true?" She asked, testing the waters.
"Yeah. Yeah it's true" He said, looking down, rubbing the back of his neck. He glanced over at her, reading her guarded expression.
"Not voluntarily though. I was taken by Hydra and brainwashed. They wiped my memories, and I was forced to kill. Over and over." He said, painful memories coming back to him. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes, letting out a sigh.
"That must have been awful" She said, suddenly feeling a pang of sympathy. Bucky nodded and his expression softened a little.
"I'll tell you more about it another time, but long story short after the fall of Shield and Hydra, I started to remember things again, and Steve and I found each other. Shield started back up again, and I joined his team... It was hard, but then a few months later you came into the picture." He said, looking over at her thoughtfully. Zara looked down, playing with her fingernails. She bit her lip like she always did when she was worried or nervous.
"Did you try to kill me?" She asked, gathering the courage to look him in the eye. She braced herself for his answer, not really sure what to expect. Bucky's expression softened again making her relax a little before he spoke up.

"No. It was exactly the opposite. Steve and I were on our way out on a mission. It would have been one of my first ones with Shield. We flew over this Hydra base that we never knew was there, It had been blown to pieces. There was all this thick smoke everywhere, half the place was nothing but rubble, and it was burning like crazy... So we landed to secure it, and everyone we found was dead. Except for you, and one other girl. I pulled you out, Steve got to the other girl and we brought you back with us." He said, a smile creeping across his face as he remembered.
"You saved my life?" She asked, earning a humbled nod from him.
"And you saved mine, without even realizing it" He smiled at her.

Zara nodded, smiling back, acknowledging him. For the first time that morning things started making sense, and she wasn't feeling so stressed out about being in the same room as him. A few moments passed as they sat, looking at one and other, almost assessing each other. Zara looked down and took a deep breath, building the courage to ask another question.

"So... James-" She started, before getting cut off.
"Bucky."
"I thought only your friends called you Bucky"
"Yes, well I guess you fall into that category" He said, giving her a knowing look.
"We were friends?" Zara asked, sidetracked now.
"We were a bit more than just friends, Zara" He said, suddenly looking a bit hurt. Zara's brows pinched together, trying to work it out. Bucky's hand went to his back pocket, pulling a black leather wallet out. He flipped it open and handed it to her. Zara looked at the photo under the plastic insert. Sure enough it was him and her. They looked to be at a party, she was in a red mini dress and he was hugging her from behind. Her hair was long back then, they were both smiling into the camera. Zara gazed into it, not able to tear her eyes away, they looked so happy together...
"You were my girlfriend" He said, his voice low and barely above a whisper. There was a sadness in his voice that effected her deep down. The same feeling of grief or dread you get deep down in the pit of your stomach. It was true. It had to be true. Why couldn't she remember this?

Guilt wracked her like she'd never felt before. Her breathing suddenly quickened and her heart started racing. The picture in her hand blurred before her eyes and her hand trembled.
Zara stood up, hand on her chest to calm her breathing. Her ears rang and her vision blurred as all her senses went out the window. She needed air, needed space. She backed up until her shoulders touched the wall, and she was vaguely aware of him in front of her, he was saying something, but she couldn't understand what.
He grabbed her upper arms to steady her, calling her name over and over again, his face full of worry.
her body trembled and she struggled to breathe as she was overwhelmed with panic.

"Zara!!" Came his voice again, aggressive and demanding her attention as she snapped back into reality.
Zara gasped, finally feeling like she'd gotten a breath of air into her lungs. Her eyes flicked up to meet his and she just stood bewildered for a few moments before bursting into tears.
She didn't know what had come over her, but she instinctively stepped towards him, and put her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.

Relief washed over Bucky as he put his arms around her and held her tight, soothing her. He bit his lip, he didn't know how she might react to any of this, but he was certainly not expecting her to give into herself and come to him.
They had been told not to show her photos, but he doubted she'd believe him without it. Fuck them, nobody knew her better than he did, whether she was her old self or not. She was still essentially the same girl she always had been. She was a bit raw around the edges, but it was Zara nonetheless.
He rubbed her back slowly as she sobbed, and his heart broke for her. He knew what it was like finding out about his life after being wiped. It was something he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemy.

Poor kid...

"I'm here for you Zara, no matter what" He whispered into her ear, leaving a feather-light kiss on her temple.
She cried herself out, and when she stopped they just stood for a while, holding each other, neither of the wanting to let go.
When Zara relaxed and looked up at him, eyes puffy, wet and red. He slowly moved his hands to her face and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs, her lip trembling again.
"Come on, I'll make you a hot drink" He offered, putting his hand out to her which she took. She was too exhausted and emotionally drained to argue with him. He helped her over to the couch below the window, and joined her a few minutes later with a coffee each.
Zara shivered down at the warm cup between her hands. She shook her head, still numb with shock and guilt.
"Bucky..." She said, her voice almost a whisper.
"Yeah?" He looked over at her.
"I'm so, so sorry" She said, looking into his eyes. "This is so unfair..."
"It's not your fault, Zara. I'm here to help you"
"You shouldn't have to"
"I know, it sucks, but that's the card we've been dealt and we'll just have to roll with it. Like we always do. Things were never easy for us" He said, giving her a sideways smile.
Zara's expression softened a little and she let out a breath, staying quiet for a few minutes, letting the mug in her hands warm her.

"Can I ask you another question?" She asked thoughtfully.
"You can ask me as many questions as you like" He smiled back at her, taking a sip from his mug.
"Does Rachael know that we were dating?"
"Yeah, she knows. She knows damn well" He said, feeling angry again.
"Okay... You don't have to answer this if it's too personal... Are you and her seeing each other?"
Bucky almost choked on his coffee, looking at her wide eyed with a mixture of shock and disgust on his face.
"HELL no!" He said, offended.
"Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around all this..."
"Zara lets just get this straight, I'm not seeing anybody. I haven't even LOOKED at another girl since you, and I don't plan on, either." He said firmly, making her feel a little awkward.
"Why would she try and scare me away from you then? I'm pretty sure you're not going to try to cut my throat or break my neck, and you don't strike me as a dishonest person so far... The only thing that that leaves is maybe she was jealous, but that makes no sense if she's not your girlfriend, unless she's interested in you?" Zara pondered, brows knitting together in confusion.
"No, you're definitely safe while I'm around. You're right though she is jealous of you. Don't you worry about that though, I'll deal with her." He said, frustrated.
"Deal with her?" Zara winced as she spoke.
"I'll TALK to her." He clarified, rolling his eyes.
"You know she told me that you attacked her, and she was lucky to be alive?"
Bucky lowered his head and let out a low laugh.
"That's only half true" He said.
"Which half?"
"I didn't lay a hand on that girl. She made a pass at me in the gym one morning. I let her know I wasn't interested, and she kept pushing. She made a comment that hit a nerve so I threw a loaded weight bar across the room... And an elliptical machine... And put a hole in the wall... It kinda sounds bad put into words" He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Zara smirked at him, getting a mental image of Bucky loosing his shit in the gym.
"She did say you had a temper" She said, not looking up from her drink.
"Well, that part I can't really deny, but only about things that hit a nerve, to be fair. Otherwise I'm pretty laid back." He said with a smile.

They both sat and finished their drinks, just enjoying the presence of one and other. Zara was actually surprised how relaxed she was around him, considering the fright she'd gotten earlier in the morning. In less than an hour he'd gone from death incarnate, to a creep, to someone who was fairly easy to get along with. She didn't know about the 'friends' thing - or anything beyond that, but it was a good start. He had been open and honest with her, and that's all that mattered to her at that stage.

"Thanks for talking to me, Bucky. Thanks for being honest" She said after taking the last sip of her coffee, looking over at him.
"Any time. Sorry you had to get knocked out for it to happen" He laughed, the ice in his chest melting a little when he saw her flash a smile.
"Is there anything else you'd like to ask? I know I had a million questions when I was in your shoes..." He offered, kindness in his tone.
"You know what? I think that's enough for one day" She answered, looking back down at her cup, swirling the last few drops of coffee in her mug.
"Good thinking, don't want to overload yourself" He agreed, finishing his cup and standing to take it over to the kitchen. He wordlessly offered to take hers, and rinsed them both, putting them upside down on the dish drainer before leaning on the bench, facing her.
"I have an idea" He said, a hint of excitement in his voice as he caught her attention. She looked up into his eyes, he interest piqued.
"How about I come back tomorrow morning after breakfast and we have another talk then. You can have the rest of today to soak in all your new info, and you can think of anything else you'd like to ask. See if we can fill in the gaps, huh?" He suggested.
Zara nodded, thinking about his offer and she gave him a smile. It was a good idea.
"Well I do have a lot of questions to ask..." She said.
"So how does 9am sound?" He asked.
"I'm pretty sure I'm free" She chuckled, her laugh was music to his ears. He flashed her a teethy grin.
"Good" He laughed. "It's a date."