Lover's Quarrels
Loki checked the hall for a third time before he knocked on Sif's door. He could have just appeared in her room whenever he liked but he wanted to make sure they were completely alone. He held his breath until Sif opened the door and pulled him inside. She locked the door before turning to him, "No one saw you head to my chambers?"
"We're alone." Loki assured her, his heart still racing in his chest.
Sif wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled at him, "Good. I've missed you and your touch. A week without you in my bed is too long." She pulled him into a kiss and his arms wrapped around her instinctively. Kissing her felt so great but he needed to speak with her. He broke the kiss a few minutes later. Sif was attempting to pull him toward the bed, but Loki remained fix in his spot. "What's wrong?"
"I told Thor...about us...accidentally." Loki admitted slowly to her before beginning his ramble. "I'm sorry. I just- I couldn't sit there and listen to him go on about convincing you to wed him. I was only trying to have him reconsider the marriage. I didn't mean for it happen."
"You told Asgard's biggest blabber-mouth about our very secret relationship?" Sif stared at Loki in disbelief and untangled herself from him. "You might as well as go to the Allfather and confess to him too!"
"Perhaps, we should consider making our relationship public!" Loki suggested to her.
"We've talked about this, Loki. This has been a discussed conversation from day one. I don't want to be tied down by royal obligations. I am a warrior." Sif reminded him as she turned and sat down on the edge of the bed. "It was your idea to keep it a secret. You wanted to protect me from the court."
"I can still do that. I just want them to know you're with me so everyone stops thinking you are with Thor." Loki explained to her.
"You promised me when the rumors of Thor and I started that you wouldn't get upset. They are just silly rumors, Sif. How can I be jealous when I have you already? I couldn't be jealous! " Sif recited Loki's exact words when the topic had first come up. "My answer is unchanged. It is not happening."
"Sif-" Loki attempted to bargain with her, but she didn't let him say anything else.
"No, Loki. That is my final word on the matter." She pounder her fist against the blankets on the bed. "Just leave. I'm not in the mood anymore." Loki slumped his shoulders dejectedly before heading toward the door, unlocked it, and left for his chambers.
Loki was still in a foul mood the next day when he arrived in the training yard. Sif wasn't there but Thor was. He approached his brother to speak with him. "I haven't seen Sif all day. What did you do?" Thor asked Loki.
"We argued, that's all. I didn't think she'd still be upset." Loki answered with a shrug of his shoulders. There was no point in telling Thor the truth about their fight especially when he was trying to convince his brother to speak with Odin about the marriages. If Odin heard that Loki and Sif were having issues, then he might still force Thor to marry her.
"When aren't you two arguing?" Fandral commented with a sigh as he joined the conversation. "Thor, you should go make your bride-to-be feel better."
"I'm reconsidering the marriage." Thor said quickly before Loki could angrily say something to Fandral.. "I still need to discuss it with Father, but I've decided Sif and I aren't a good match."
"Nonsense-" Fandral began to argue. Out of the corner of his eye, Thor could see Loki tense up.
"No, Fandral. Drop it." Thor interrupted. He could see Loki's shoulders relax after Fandral agreed to drop it.
The day passed slowly after that conversation. Sif still did not show up to the training yard and Loki began to worry. He had spent his time thinking after taking a beating from Hogun. Perhaps, he and Sif were starting to spend too much time together again. They had been all over each other during the past week before Loki had opened his mouth to Thor about their relationship. Things needed to cool down, he decided.
He was going to go off on another retreat for a few months, see the realms again. First, he went to his mother. He explained he needed to travel across a few of the Nine Realms, stating he felt too cooped up in Asgard and not experiencing anything new in over a century. He told her about his need for new library material. She granted him permission to leave after talking it over with Odin the next day. He packed a bag for himself and placed it in a pocket dimension. He told Thor that he would be gone in for a few months, for more books which immediately dissuaded Thor from coming along on the adventure.
Following his talk with Thor, he tracked down Sif. They still hadn't spoken since their argument a few days ago. He felt nervous, knocking on her door once again. She opened the door and leaned against the frame with her arms crossed in front of her. "I'm sorry." Loki apologized to her, knowing she was still angry about him telling Thor their secret. I know what I did was wrong and now, there's nothing I can do about it to change it." He cleared his throat before continuing. "I think we need some time away from each other. I'll be leaving Asgard for a few months. I'm not sure when I'll be back."
"That sounds like a good idea." Sif agreed, uncrossing her arms from in front of her chest. "It'll give us time to think about what we really want from our relationship."
"Yes..." Loki trailed off quietly. "I just wanted to tell you goodbye before I left. So...Goodbye."
"Goodbye." Sif said shortly, slamming the door to her chambers. Loki stood at her door for a minute before shuffling away to begin his journey through the realms. Sif leaned against the back of the door, waiting to hear his footsteps before she slumped down to the floor. She rested her head against the door as tears fell from her eyes. She wiped them away, cursing herself for her volatile emotions lately She heard footsteps outside her door and felt another knock on the wood. She wiped at her tears and tried to calm herself down before answering the door.
Thor stood outside the door and he was shocked to see Sif looking so upset. "What's wrong, Sif?"
"Come in." She stepped inside to let Thor into her room before she closed the door and took a seat on one of the plush chairs in her room. "Loki and I had a fight before he left."
"He said the other day that you two had an argument." Thor told her. He sat in the chair beside her. "He didn't say what about or that you were still upset about it. Did he apologize to you before he left?"
"Yes. We had argued about making our relationship public." Sif explained to Thor before going into a longer explanation. She told him how they had both agreed on secrecy when their relationship first started. Then, she began to tell him about Loki's reactions when the first rumors of her and Thor as a couple reached his ears. Thor listened as Sif recounted their recent argument over Loki wanting to make their relationship public because of the supposed arranged marriage between her and Thor, and how Sif was opposed to her relationship being brought to the limelight. "It's not that I don't want them to know. Just not now. Not the way he is trying to force me to become more open-minded." Sif finished explaining to him.
"Loki loves you. I couldn't see it before but I see now how fiercely protective he was of you." Thor began to tell her. "Couldn't you try to see it from his side?"
"I don't need him to try and protect me from the court. You know that's what he'll do." Sif began to argue with Thor. "He'll only make things worse and he'll be angry if he hears what they have to say about us. He still needs to mature." Sif sighed before continuing. "This time apart it'll help us decide what we both want from the relationship."
"What do you want Sif?" Thor asked her curiously.
"I don't know what I want from him." Sif admitted, her shoulders tensing up from the anxiety the situation was causing.
"He doesn't want me to be your husband. Has he ever talked to you about him because yours?" Thor questioned, leaning back in his chair.
Sif fiddled with her fingers, her stomach was twisting and turning nervously and nauseously. "I... I made sure I knew what I was getting into when he began courting me. I made sure he was clear to the rules of our arrangement. A marriage between the two of us would never see the light of Asgard. We have rules and he broke the biggest one. Marriage should be built on a foundation of trust. I'm not sure if I trust him anymore."