Chapter 1
Everyone around the table was pointing at Ava. The looks on their faces ranging from mildly horrifying to barely contained laughter.
“WOOO! I win!” Ava let out while raising her glass and downing what was left of it in one go. Some of the other patrons of the bar glanced up at the commotion.
The group laughed at Ava’s reaction. They were seated at their usual table in the back of their favorite bar.
“Interesting how you always seem to win this round” Lilith commented with a smirk, before taking a sip of her own glass.
“What can I say, sister, I’m a winner!” Ava winked at her friend.
“Winning this round of ‘one up’ really isn’t the flex you think it is, but you do you, sweetheart.” Mary laughed.
They were playing one of their favorite drinking games, ‘one up’. They had come up with it back in college. The idea was simple. Someone chose a category, in this case ‘most embarrassing’ thing that happened to them that week, everyone told their story and they voted for whose story fit the premise the most.
“Also, does it even count if you don’t feel embarrassed about it?” Camila pointed out, knowing that the girl in front of her knew no shame. Ava shrugged at that, clearly content with her victory.
“I think the guy you're seeing walking in on you… making out with another girl in front of your apartment, while he's bringing you flowers, is quite embarrassing no matter how little shame you possess.” Shannon argued.
She lightly rephrased Ava’s story, considering Ava’s original telling contained a few more specifics about her hand placements and the state of their undress.
“Exactly.” Ava said, choosing not to address the remark about her lack of shame. She wasn’t wrong though. “Besides, you guys already voted, no take backs, them’s the rules. Right, Bea?”
Ava bumped her shoulder against the girl sitting next to her.
Beatrice had been pretty quiet since the round started and startled a little. Her cheeks held a slight rose tint, whether it was from the alcohol she had consumed or Ava’s colorful story, she didn’t know. Perhaps it was a combination of both. “Ava’s right. No take backs.”
“Et voila, the rule queen has spoken!” Ava threw her arm around Beatrice, pointing at their friends, daring them to object.
“As if Beatrice would ever disagree with anything you claim.” Lilith rolled her eyes and laughed.
“Whatever.” Ava rolled her eyes as well, laughing along with the rest of their group, “I still won”. She pulled Beatrice a little closer for a moment before standing up. “I’m getting us new drinks. What do you guys want? My treat.”
As everyone gave her their orders, it soon became clear that Ava wouldn’t be able to remember half of them by the time she actually made it to the bar.
Ever the mother of the group, Shannon offered to help get everyone what they wanted and carry back their drinks. The rest of the group watched as the pair walked away.
“How come those kinds of things only ever seem to happen to Ava?” Beatrice mused; eyes still fixed to the girl’s back.
“Well, would you have your hands down another girl’s pants in a public hallway?” Mary raised an eyebrow; a teasing look on her face.
Beatrice immediately flushed. “No, I- of course not-, I mean-. No, I wouldn’t find myself in that situation.”
As her friends laughed at her floundering, she almost wished she hadn’t said anything.
“Actually, now that you’ve mentioned it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you tell us any of your failed date stories.” Camila pointed at Beatrice.
“Oh, that’s because I don’t have any.”
“You’ve never been on a bad date?” Mary asked incredulously.
“No, I’ve just never been on a date in general.” Beatrice thought for a moment. “I mean, back in high school I went on a few dates with boys, when I got asked. That was before I realized it wasn’t what I wanted of course.”
“That’s like… 7 years ago at least.” Mary counted back. “What about after you realized what you wanted?”
“I never got asked out or when I did, I always came up with an excuse not to go.” Beatrice shrugged. She felt a little uncomfortable with the sudden attention.
“Okay, but why? Don’t you want love in your life?” Camila asked.
“Of course, I do!” Beatrice was taken aback. “It’s just scary, you know, meeting someone new, one on one. And they always have some expectations about where it’s going to go… Like I said, it’s scary to me.”
Beatrice looked down at her lap uncertainly, her eyebrows furrowed.
She had never talked about this with her friends, but it has always been one of her insecurities. She felt like everyone around her had so much more experience when it came to love. All she knew about it was what she saw around her or read about in books.
“You know what it’s like for me around new people.” She added quietly. “Now imagine me meeting someone I don’t know yet, in an unfamiliar place, nowhere to run to when I get overstimulated.” She trailed off.
At this, her friends nodded their understanding. They were all quiet for a moment, the others remembering the first dates they had went on and how intimidating it had seemed at the time.
“What if you could eliminate some of those things?” Camila suggested.
“I’m not following.” Beatrice looked up at her friend.
“Yeah, me neither.” Mary leaned forward, intrigued.
“I understand that those things scare you, so what if we took away the scary parts.” Camila started, getting more animated. “It could be like a practice date! You would go out with someone you already know, to a place you feel comfortable, etcetera.”
“Like a mock date.” Lilith grinned. “Instead of a mock debate to practice your debate skills, you would do a mock date to practice your dating skills.”
“Exactly!” Camila exclaimed. “You would do all the things you would do as if you were on a real date, with someone you know and who knows you. If you both know it’s basically a fake date, you wouldn’t feel any of the pressure you would on an actual date.”
Beatrice looked her friends, too stunned to say anything about this ridiculous idea they had come up with.
“You know sometimes my genius frightens me.” Camila grinned.
Lilith and Mary seemed to be all in on the idea as well, as they excitedly started to discuss her possible dating partners.
“Oh, what about Crimson?”
“She needs to be at least likeable, Lilith.” Mary rolled her eyes.
“I don’t hear you bringing anything to the table.” Lilith glared at Mary.
“What about Dora?” Mary suggested.
“Last I heard, things were getting pretty serious with her and her partner.” Camila countered. “Also, I think we should look closer.”
As Beatrice’s friends were racking their brains for people they thought would be up for this absurd plan, her own brain finally started processing the last few minutes.
“What about Yasmine?” Camila piped up. “You know each other really well already and you have been alone with her plenty of times. It could work!”
“No, no, Camila, I’m not going on a date with my roommate. Also, she’s ace.”
“We’re not suggesting you sleep with her, Beatrice.” Mary joked, causing Beatrice to blush profusely.
“No, you’re right, you can’t go on a date with someone and then return to the same apartment.”
“Camila, honestly, I’m okay with being singl-”
Camila suddenly jumped up from her seat, startling the rest of her friends at the table. “I’ve got it! Ava!”
“What?! No, Camila, I swear-” Beatrice tried to say.
“It’s perfect! You guys get along really well.”
“She has been on plenty of dates, so she has the experience.” Mary agreed.
“Small chance of it being her worst date, as well. We’ve all heard about some of her disastrous experiences.” Lilith provided, earning laughs from her friends.
“She could keep on talking for days if you don’t stop her, so no awkward silences to worry about.” Mary added.
“Okay, we can all agree, Ava is prefect.” Camila said with a certain finality.
“I mean I won’t deny it. But remind me again, why am I perfect?” Ava and Shannon had finally arrived back with their drinks. Beatrice felt a little relieved for the distraction they brought from the latest topic of conversation. But at the same time she now felt infinitely more nervous.
“What took you guys so long? I’m parched.” Lilith asked.
“We ran into the guys on our way to the bar. They said they’d stop by our table before they leave.” Shannon explained as Ava distributed the drinks around the table.
As soon as Ava had handed Beatrice her glass, she eagerly started drinking.
“So, what’s this about me being perfect?” Ava asked again.
Beatrice choked on her beer, earning alarmed looks from Ava and Shannon, while the others couldn’t hold back their laughter.
“You okay there, Bea?” Ava gently patted Beatrice’s back as she coughed her lungs out.
Camila excitedly explained what they had been talking about before the pair returned. Beatrice leaned her head on her hands, hiding her face and burning cheeks. This was so embarrassing.
“I think it’s a great idea, Bea! You’re a catch!”
“You see, Bea, even Ava agrees it’s time for you to get out there.” Camila smiled at her.
“So, who do we think she should go out with?”
“You.” Lilith said plainly, watching for Ava’s reaction.
Ava’s hand stilled its movements on Beatrice’s back for a moment. “Oh”
“You really don’t have to, Ava. I know you have your own life and like I said, you don’t need to feel like you have to do this or something. It’s a dumb idea anyway.” Beatrice finally lifted her head out of her hands to look at her friend.
“No, yeah, I know.” Ava considered the idea for a moment. “I’d love to help you with this if you want me to. If you think it would help you feel more comfortable, that is.”
Beatrice hadn’t thought that Ava would be so quick to agree and just stared at her for a few seconds before remembering she should probably say something. She scraped her throat before replying.
“Oh, uhm, yeah, maybe.”
Ava suppressed the urge to make a joke about Beatrice’s apparent lack of enthusiasm. She knew how the other girl felt about dating and how even a ‘fake’ date would be a big deal for her. She settled for an encouraging smile.
“You’ll still need to ask me out, though. And I’m warning you, I’m not that easy.” She winked at her friend.
Beatrice could feel a blush creeping back up the tips of her ears. Their friends laughed.
“I’m pretty sure we all know that’s not true.” Lilith smirked.
“Oh, hush you.” The glare Ava threw at her friend lasted only a second before she also burst out laughing.
“So, when’s our next game night?” Shannon asked after a few moments of silence, changing the subject. She knew Beatrice had had about more than enough attention focused on her for the rest of the week, so she was happy to help the girl out. Beatrice gave her a grateful smile.
If their friends had noticed her not so subtle attempt to draw their attention away from Beatrice, they didn’t say anything about it.
The rest of the night was spent in easy conversation, the topic of dating wasn’t brought up again.
---
Beatrice awoke the next morning with a splitting headache and a few texts from her friends. Camila’s are the first ones she opens.
Camila – Good morning, Bea :)) hope you slept well
Camila – I just wanted to check in bc you were drinking pretty heavily last night
Camila – Also, I wanted to tell you, you really don’t have to do the whole dating thing if you don’t want to, it was just an idea
Beatrice stared at her phone screen until it turned black and she saw her tired reflection staring back at her. She decided she didn’t want to do this over text.
Beatrice – Morning Cam, can’t really call it a good one with this pounding in my head
Beatrice – Want to meet up for coffee?
Beatrice threw her phone on the bed as she reluctantly stood up. When the room spun for a moment, she seriously regretted drinking so much the night before.
She groaned as she opened her curtains, momentarily blinded by the bright sun. Of course the sun had decided to make its first appearance of the year on the day she had the worst hangover of her life. Just her luck.
As she turned to face her room, she found a painkiller and a full glass of water on her nightstand. There was a little note next to the glass.
Good morning, Beatrice,
I heard you get in pretty late last night, so I figured you might be able to use this ;)
I’m going to be out all day running errands and such, text me if you need me
The best roommate ever, Yasmine
Beatrice started to chuckle, but it quickly turned into a grunt as pain shot through her skull.
She really did have the best roommate ever. She swallowed the pill and drank the whole glass in one go.
The water didn’t do a whole lot for the godawful taste in her mouth, but it did help with the thirst. It also didn’t make her nauseous, so she counted that as a win.
Her phone chimed on her bed.
Camila – Of course! The usual place?
Beatrice – Sounds perfect
Beatrice – In half an hour?
Camila – See you there!
Beatrice grabbed some clean clothes and made her way to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. She opted for a cold shower to help her wake up a little better.
She emerged feeling a lot cleaner and fresher. She looked almost human again. After thoroughly brushing her teeth and getting dressed, she almost felt it as well.
She quickly grabbed her sunglasses before deciding to take a light jacket with her, just in case and hurried outside.
The warm sun on her body actually felt amazing now that her headache had mostly gone and she could enjoy the nice weather.
Her favorite coffee shop was only around the corner, so it was a short walk.
She spotted her friend waiting for her in front of the shop and made her way over.
“How is it that you look like you had the most restful sleep of your life and I look like I’ve been twice resurrected.” Beatrice greeted her friend.
Camila laughed softly. “I think you look pretty decent considering how many shots you downed last night.”
Beatrice groaned at that. “I don’t even remember those. Most of last night was a blur.”
They made their way inside.
“What do you remember?”
“I remember playing ‘one up’.” Beatrice started, Camila nodded. “And Ava’s story about… you know.”
They shuffled on ahead, moving up in the line to the counter.
“Anything else?”
“I remember your whole plan thing you came up with.” Beatrice added a little quieter.
Camila hummed but didn’t say anything else. Their turn to order came and they took their drinks out to the terrace in front of the shop.
After a few minutes of people watching and just enjoying the beautiful weather, Camila spoke up.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Beatrice was quiet for a long moment before she replied.
“I think I do.”
Camila nodded for her to go on. Beatrice took another few moments to arrange her thoughts.
Lilith was the friend she had known the longest, but Camila was the one who understood her the best.
She had lost count how many times the other girl had made her feel truly seen over the years. Most of the time it was in the small things.
Like the time she had ordered desert and the waiter had gotten the other’s deserts, but had forgotten hers. Camila had asked the waiter to correct his mistake without even thinking about it, knowing Beatrice wouldn’t have said anything.
Or the time they didn’t have enough bikes for all of them to ride home and Beatrice would’ve had to get on the back of someone else’s bike. Camila promptly gave her hers and got on the back of Lilith’s bike, knowing she wasn’t always comfortable with having to touch people.
Beatrice looks out at the people walking by, just going about their lives.
“I’ve been scared of dating for so long.” She starts. “The unpredictability of it, how I don’t have a ‘script’ for it. And every year that passes, I feel like I get further behind in life. Everyone around me is going out and meeting new people, dating, moving in together, while I’m stuck.”
She paused for a moment and glanced at Camila, who was looking at her with an encouraging smile on her face. Camila already knew some of this and what she didn’t know, didn’t surprise her either. She waited patiently for her friend to continue. Beatrice looked away again.
“I know I’m still young and it might seem like an irrational thought to have, but that’s what it feels like sometimes. As everyone around me is getting all that life experience, it just feels like that gap is getting bigger, you know.
“With that growing gap, the pressure grows, and I just-” Her voice broke. She took a few unsteady breaths and continued. “I don’t want to get left behind.”
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on a date.” Camila said softly.
Beatrice let out a shaky laugh. “Trust me, I know. Another thing that makes it so hard.”
After another quiet moment, Beatrice continued.
“I spiral when it comes to dating.” She admitted. “Even though I didn’t like the idea yesterday, I can’t help but think it might help me? It would take away some of the pressure and I could set boundaries I might need more easily.”
“I know you, Bea.” Camila smiled.
“You really do.” Beatrice replied, tears in her eyes.
Camila grabbed her hand and gave it a soft squeeze.
“What about dating Ava, huh?” Camila’s soft smile turned into a teasing one, effectively changing the mood.
Beatrice took her hand back, using both to cover her face. She knew it was futile as she could feel the tips of her ears heating up and Camila would definitely be able to tell.
“Why did you have to bring that up?” She mumbled against her hands.
Camila let out a joyous laugh. “I can’t help it! Your reaction is just so cute.”
Beatrice peaked one eye trough her fingers. “You think she’d actually do it?”
Camila shrugged. “She said she would, so yes. Would you be okay going on a date with her?”
“Mock date.” Beatrice hurried to correct her. “It’s not real.”
“Yes,… a practice date.” Camila looked at her curiously.
Beatrice looked out at the people again, finishing her now cold coffee. “She texted me this morning.”
“Ava texted you?”
“Yeah, I haven’t read it yet, though.”
“Why not?”
“I read yours first and then I kind of put it off.” She admits sheepishly.
“Well, check it now.” Camila urged.
“Yes, mom.” Beatrice rolled her eyes but took out her phone anyway.
Ava – Hey Bea, hope you made it home safe, text me when you read this? x
Ava – Hey, I still don’t know if you made it home safe, but I’m hoping you did
Ava – Would you like to go for a walk later?
Beatrice smiled as she read the messages.
“She asked if I wanted to go for a walk later.”
“Do you?”
“I think I do, yes. Would you like to come along?”
“Oh no, I’ve got some other things to do today.” She lied, but Beatrice was too busy looking at her phone to notice.
Beatrice – Hi Ava, a walk sounds nice :) when and where?
Ava must’ve been waiting for her message because she had barely closed her phone before she got a reply.
Ava 1:02pm – awesome
Ava 1:03pm – I’ll be at yours by 3?
Beatrice 1:04pm – Sounds perfect, see you then
When Beatrice looked up from her phone, she was met with Camila’s amused smile.
“What?”
Camila shook her head, same smile still fixed on her face. “Nothing, do you want to grab lunch before your date?”
Beatrice immediately paled at the thought of it being a date. “What-, I-, no-,” She stuttered.
“Relax, Bea, it was a joke.”
But Beatrice was suddenly panicking, she wasn’t ready. She needed to be able to prepare emotionally and mentally.
Camila grabbed and squeezed her hands to ground her. “Hey Bea, stop.” She stopped laughing. “It was a bad joke, I’m sorry.”
“But what if you’re right?” Beatrice had calmed a little but wasn’t there yet.
“I’m sure I’m not. But you can text her to ask, just to be sure. Or I can do it if you want.”
“Wouldn’t it be weird if you ask her out of nowhere?”
“Not necessarily.” Camila shrugged
“No, I’ll-, yeah I’ll just ask her.”
She rapidly typed out a message and her thumb hovered over the send button for a moment before pressing it
Beatrice – This isn’t a date, right? ((just to be sure))
Ava – You wish it was ;)
Ava – But no, it’s not
Beatrice – Okay, cool cool, thanks
“Okay” Beatrice released a big breath. “I’m okay, I’m cool.”
“Yes, you look very cool and okay.” Camila grinned.
“This is all your fault.”
“How is this my fault?” Camila looked offended.
Beatrice gave her a pointed look.
“Yeah okay, it’s my fault. Now, let’s go grab lunch before your walk.” She said, carefully avoiding the word ‘date’ this time.
---
When Beatrice made it back to her apartment a little before 3pm, Ava was already leaning against the building, face turned up to the sun.
Beatrice slowed her steps as she approached, not wanting to startle the girl. She took a moment to appreciate what she was looking at.
“Hi there.”
“Beatrice, hey.” Ava’s content smile grew as she turned to look at Beatrice. “I rang your bell, but no one answered. I was starting to think you stood me up.” She teased.
“I was out for lunch with Camila. Have you been waiting for long?”
“Just a few minutes, it’s alright. You need anything from inside?” Ava moved away from the front door.
“I’m just going to drop off my jacket inside and I’ll be ready to go. Do you want to come up?” Beatrice took her keys out of her pocket.
“No, I’m good.”
“Okay, I’ll be back in just a moment.” She said unlocking the door. She hurried upstairs, not wanting to keep her friend waiting for too long.
Beatrice hung her jacket behind the door and figured a little freshening up wouldn’t hurt. 2 minutes later she felt a little better. She bit her lip while looking in the mirror, suddenly feeling a little nervous.
This morning, she hadn’t really thought about what she put on. She was wearing one of her favorite linen pants and a loose-fitting white shirt. She decided the outfit looked fine and unbuttoned a few more buttons, making her look a little more relaxed. She sprayed on some more of her favorite perfume and nodded to herself.
“Okay, you can do this Beatrice. It’s just a walk with a friend.” Beatrice told herself.
She grabbed her keys, phone and wallet and hurried back down.
As she opened the downstairs door, she almost tripped as something fell against her legs.
Ava had moved to sit down on the doorstep while waiting for her, leaning against the door. When Beatrice opened the door, Ava unexpectantly fell backwards.
“Oh hi there, I seem to have fallen for you already.” Ava grinned up at Beatrice.
“Hmm, I thought you said you weren’t that easy.” Beatrice hummed.
“Maybe you’re special.” Ava winked, still leaning her back against Beatrice’s legs.
“Yeah sure.” Beatrice rolled her eyes fondly and offered her hand to help Ava up.
Ava grabbed it and pulled herself up, turning around in the same motion. Once she stood upright, she gave Beatrice a quick hug in greeting.
“You smell nice.” Ava said as she pulled back. “And you look really good considering the amount you drank last night.”
“Thank you, you look nice too.”
Beatrice had always had a hard time accepting compliments, but Ava gave them out so easily that it usually didn’t make her nervous or uncomfortable anymore.
However, Beatrice was still glad she had confirmed earlier that this wasn’t a date, otherwise she was sure she would’ve been a nervous wreck right now.
They started walking towards the nearby park in pleasant silence.
“So, lovely weather we’re having, eh?” Ava quipped.
Ava’s unsubtle attempt at starting a conversation and to lighten the mood made Beatrice smile.
When Ava glanced at the girl next to her, she saw her silly remark had the effect she had aimed for. Beatrice had an amused smile on her face and looked less stuck in her head compared to a minute ago.
“Lovely weather for a pleasant stroll in the park.” Beatrice nodded.
“Oooh, are we pretending to be an old British couple?” Ava asked excitedly with a horrendous English accent.
“Ava,… I am British.” Beatrice deadpanned; eyebrow raised as she looked at her friend.
“Oh, right.” Ava laughed. “We’re already halfway there then!”
“Are you calling me old?!” Beatrice asked, faking affront.
“No, of course not! I feel like you’re deliberately misinterpreting what I’m saying.” Ava frowned.
“I would never!” Beatrice gasped, hand dramatically clutching her heart. “Maybe you just need to explain yourself better.”
“Okay, fine, let me show you.”
Ava stepped closer and threaded her arm through Beatrice’s, so they were walking arm in arm.
“Is this okay for you?”
Beatrice tensed at the unexpected contact.
“Give me a moment.” Beatrice replied, sounding a little strained.
They hadn’t stopped walking or changed pace. Ava adjusted her steps, so they fell in time with Beatrice’s, trying to make the little change easier for her.
After a few moments, Ava could feel the tension slowly slipping away in her friend’s arm.
Beatrice had a complex relationship with physical touch. Sometimes she couldn’t stand it, sometimes she felt like she needed it. Sometimes she recoiled when someone as much grazed her skin, other times she wanted more of it. It usually depended on the person touching her, the setting, her mood and a million other things.
Physical touch was one of Ava’s favorite love languages. She shared it easily and freely with anyone she cared about.
Back when they had first met, Beatrice had found it difficult. She understood Ava’s tendency for contact, but she hadn’t shared it.
Ava had always taken great care to not overstep when it came to Beatrice’s comfort zone.
As they had gotten to know each other better and had grown closer over time, things had gradually changed. Step by step, Beatrice had let Ava more into her personal space. Ava had never pushed and had always paid careful attention to signs that could’ve pointed to her friend feeling uncomfortable.
Ava understood that Beatrice sometimes needed a moment to adapt. She never took offense or changed her behavior. She always trusted that Beatrice would tell her if she crossed a line or wasn’t comfortable with something she did.
Beatrice warmed at the thought of her friend’s careful consideration.
These days, Beatrice was so used to Ava’s physical contact that it generally felt unnatural when the other girl refrained from touching her.
“So, how have you been?” Beatrice asked, indicating she felt relaxed enough to continue.
Ava launched into a story containing an angry coworker, some fish, and a microwave. Beatrice let her talk as much as she wanted, content to just listen.
Conversation flowed easily for a while, both enjoying their time together.
The topic had moved to their friends at one point, and that inevitably led to the unspoken intent of their walk.
“I don’t understand how Camila keeps coming up with these ideas for new inventions.” Beatrice said after Ava had told her about their friend’s latest failed experiment. “Her creativity seems limitless.”
“Me neither, to be honest.” Ava said fondly. “Though, speaking of Camila and creative ideas…”
“Nice segue.” Beatrice laughed a little awkwardly. Ava felt the other girl’s arm twitch slightly.
She basically had a direct line into Beatrice’s thoughts in their current position.
“Thank you, I know.” Ava winked at Beatrice. She decided to let Beatrice take the lead from this point, not wanting to rush the other girl.
“What do you think about it?” Beatrice asked after a moment.
“As your friend or your date?”
“The first one.”
Ava could feel her friend start tensing up again as she thought about the question. She started absentmindedly stroking her arm, the way she’d done many times before. It took slightly longer than usual for its calming effect to take place.
“I think it’s a good idea if you look at it from an outside point of view.” Ava contemplated. “It would take away the things that make it scary for you. You could take it step by step at a pace you set. On paper, it’s perfect, ingenious really.”
“I was thinking the same thing.” Beatrice said hesitantly. “What about from the second one?”
“You mean as the person you would date?”
Beatrice nodded apprehensively. Ava took another moment to consider her words.
“I’ve dated plenty of people before. To put it bluntly, my experience would make up for your lack when it comes to dating.
“And if we look at it from a purely theoretical point of view, I think I’d be an ideal date for you. You know me, I know you and you know how well I know you. I think I’m able to read you quite well and understand you better than most people.” Ava’s tone and volume had become considerably softer as she spoke.
Beatrice nodded slowly. “You might not be the person who has known me the longest or knows me the best. …But I think you've always understood me, on a deeper level.” Beatrice paused. “I never feel like I have to pretend to be something or someone I’m not when I’m around you.”
“I’m glad.” Ava used her free hand to squeeze Beatrice’s arm that was still entwined with hers.
Beatrice took a deep breath. “How do you feel about… dating me?”
Ava knew how much Beatrice valued clear communication, so she always took care to accurately describe what she was thinking or feeling.
“I love spending time with you, Beatrice. I would feel honored to do this with you.” Ava said sincerely.
They walked together for another few minutes while Beatrice processed her thoughts and feelings. They had subconsciously drifted back towards Beatrice’s apartment.
Beatrice still hadn’t said anything to Ava when they made it to her front steps. Beatrice turned to Ava and reluctantly let go of her arm.
“Thank you.” Beatrice didn’t clarify what she meant, but Ava knew.
“Can I hug you?” Ava asked. It didn’t matter that they had basically held each other for the last several hours, she still wanted consent.
Beatrice nodded and pulled the other girl into a tight embrace. She didn’t know how long they stood in that position, but when she finally pulled back and kissed Ava on the top of her head, it still felt too soon to let go.
Their hands stayed connected for a moment longer.
“Text me when you get home?”
Ava nodded and smiled as she turned around.
Beatrice watched her friend walk away and waited until she was out of sight before making her way inside.
-----
When Ava got home, Mary and Shannon were lying cuddled up on the couch. The TV was on, but they weren’t really watching it. They were more consumed by each other, talking softly.
“Honey! I’m home!” Ava yelled as she closed the door behind her.
“Hi Ava.”
“Hey babes, how was your date?”
“Wasn’t a date, Mary.” Ava rolled her eyes. “I’ve told you.” Ava walked towards the kitchen.
“I wasn’t sure if you and Beatrice ate already, so I saved you a plate. It’s in the fridge.”
“And that is exactly why I love you the most, Shannon.” Ava stuck out her tongue at Mary, who imitated the action.
Ava took her food out of the fridge and heated it up in the microwave before making her way over to her friends. She put down the plate on the coffee table and sat down on the ground, facing the couple on the couch.
“You do realize we have a perfectly fine dining table with chairs right there, don’t you?” Mary lifted an eyebrow.
“I don’t like eating alone.” Ava shrugged, diving into her meal. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. “This is delicious, by the way, good job.” Ava pointed her fork at Shannon.
“Seems like you worked up quite an appetite there, Ava.” Mary said with a grin, causing her girlfriend to jab her stomach.
“Stop teasing the girl, Mary.”
“Oh no, I deserve this. You weren’t there in college when I had to listen to Ava ramble on and on about how my roommate might actually be the love of her life.”
Ava couldn’t stop the blush from creeping up her face. “Okay, I never actually said that. And you’re exaggerating.”
“I’m paraphrasing.” Mary shrugged.
“Ooh I’m intrigued.” Shannon said. “Mary mentioned a while ago that you used to have a crush on Beatrice, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Oh, trust me, she was down bad.” Mary laughed.
“Okay, can we not have this conversation right now? Mary, you can tell Shannon later if you want. But I already lived it, I don’t need to hear the embarrassing retelling.”
“It’s not embarrassing to have a little crush on a friend, Ava, it’s normal.” Shannon smiled at Ava.
“Nothing little about it.” Mary mumbled. “How do you think college Ava would feel about current you going on date with Beatrice?”
“It’s not like that, I’m just helping her out, Mary.” Ava was getting irritated. “As a friend.” She emphasized.
Shannon noticed Ava’s mood change and decided to intervene. She knew Mary probably would’ve kept pushing her, to later feel bad about it and wasn’t going to let that happen.
“We know Ava, Mary is just teasing you. We don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Ava took a deep breath and tried to relax her shoulders.
“I know, I’m sorry, I just-.” Ava started, sighing in frustration. “I used to have feelings for her. And I feel honored she trusts me enough to help her discover a new part of herself, I would love nothing more than to help her. But I’m also a little scared that those feelings might come back, and I end up ruining our friendship, you know?” She finished softly, voice barely above a whisper.
“Oh honey, come here.” Shannon opened her arms.
Ava gladly accepted the offer of a hug and quickly nestled herself between her friends. They wrapped their arms around her.
“We’ll always be here if you need or want to talk about it, okay Ava?” Mary asked her, looking her straight in the eyes, making sure Ava saw how much she meant it.
“And even if you end up feeling that way, you have to believe your friendship with Beatrice is strong enough to make it through.” Shannon added with a kiss on top of Ava’s head.
“Thank you.” Ava whispered back. “I really love you guys.”
Tears were forming in her eyes, but she was determined not to let them fall.
---
Beatrice was having an easy Wednesday morning at the office when her phone buzzed on her desk.
Camila – Morning Bea! Want to grab lunch later?
Beatrice smiled at her phone and typed a quick message back.
Beatrice – I’d love to! 1pm at the usual place?
Camila – See you there babes!
There was a knock on the door as Beatrice put her phone back down.
“Come in.”
Lilith walked in holding a stack of case files, annoyance evident on her face.
“Harris wants us to review and summarize all of these by next week. ‘Get acquainted with them’, he said.” Lilith grumbled.
Harris was their boss at the law firm they both worked at. Beatrice and Lilith were associates while he had recently been made partner. He was all too happy to follow the stereotype of a man in power and abuse said power.
Beatrice sighed and held out her hand. “Let me take a look at these.” Beatrice could already tell that her quiet morning was over. “Divide and conquer?”
“That’s what I was thinking.” Lilith plopped down on the other side of Beatrice’s desk. “He always does this. He makes us do all the work while he sits on his ass all day and takes the glory when we win the case.” Lilith complained.
She was right, it wasn’t unusual for their boss to saddle them with all the hard work and then walk away with all the credit. Beatrice took a moment to form a plan in her head.
“Do you have lunch plans?”
“What?”
“I’m having lunch with Camila in about an hour. Do you want to join?”
“Why are you talking about lunch? Don’t you see the mountain of work we need to go through?” Lilith asked incredulously, gesturing to the files in front of them.
“Yes, but we also need to eat. Here’s what I propose, we gather everything we need to get through this, go out for lunch, come back and start fresh.”
Lilith had been looking at her like she had grown a second head, but now she sighed and nodded. “Fine, you’re right. I should probably calm down before we get to it anyway.”
“Do you want to work together or just divide the pile and do it separately?”
“Together, we can keep each other motivated and help if needed.”
Beatrice’s office was larger than Lilith’s so she cleared most of her desk in preparation for the afternoon, while Lilith got her stuff from her own office.
Beatrice finished up what she was working on before Lilith came in and a little while later they both left the building to go eat.
----
Both Lilith and Beatrice had relaxed significantly during their lunch. Being out of the office helped, but it was mostly Camila’s influence.
Camila had that easy way to make anyone around her feel comfortable. She could calm even Lilith down.
Conversation flowed easily and they could almost forget about their work waiting for them back at the office.
Almost, because when Beatrice checked her watch and frowned, the mood changed instantly.
“We should be getting back.” Beatrice sighed.
“You’re right.” Lilith agreed begrudgingly. “That reminds me, Cam. I will probably be late tonight and the following days, so you don’t need to wait for me for dinner.”
“That’s okay.” Camila looked a little disappointed. “Just let me know if you want me to save you a plate or if you’ll be eating at the office.”
“Thank you, you’re the best.” Lilith smiled fondly at her friend.
They took care of the check and stood to make their way outside. They lingered on the sidewalk, reluctant to go back to their respective jobs.
“So, I guess you won’t be having time to go out with Ava this week?” Camila asked Beatrice.
Beatrice suddenly felt a whole lot more willing to leave.
Camila and Lilith were looking at her expectantly.
“Yeah, no, no time for that.” Beatrice scraped her throat and looked away from her friends.
“Have you asked her yet?”
“…No, I’ve kind of been putting it off. I don’t know how to.” Beatrice shuffled her feet uncomfortably, still avoiding eye contact.
“She already agreed to do it, so you know she’ll say yes.” Lilith provided. “What’s stopping you?”
“I’ve never asked anyone out.” Beatrice admitted. “I don’t know how to broach the subject or if I should ask her when I see her or text or call or I don’t know…” She trailed off.
“Just do what feels right. How do you usually make plans to hang out? Maybe do it like that, but make sure she knows it’s a date.” Camila smiled at her encouragingly.
Ava usually initiated their hangouts, but Beatrice got the gist. She nodded.
“Will you guys be able to make it to the bar on Friday?” Camila kindly changed the subject.
“We can’t promise anything, but we’ll try to at least stop by.” Lilith looked at Beatrice, who nodded again.
“Sounds good, now go, the sooner you leave, the sooner I’ll see you again.” Camila shooed them away.
They laughed and hugged goodbye before parting ways.
----
Beatrice was massaging her temple with one hand as she unlocked the door to her apartment that night. The dull pounding in her head had started after a few hours of studying the case files and had only gotten worse since then.
Her roommate must have heard her come in, because she was already looking at her from her position on the couch as she emerged from the hall.
“Hey Beatrice, long day?” Yasmine asked.
Beatrice chuckled humorously. “You could say that, yes. And it won’t be the last this week.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
“I’m just going to take a shower to clean off the day and then fall into bed, I’m exhausted.”
“Have you eaten?”
“We had some instant noodles at the office.”
“That’s not proper food, Beatrice.” Yasmine said disapprovingly. “How about I prepare you something small for when you get out of the shower. You need to take care of yourself.”
“That sounds lovely, thank you Yasmine. Maybe I should date you.” Beatrice joked.
“What?”
“Never mind, I’ll explain later.” Beatrice was already walking away.
After the shower, her headache hadn’t completely disappeared. But at least she no longer felt like someone was trying to drill a third eye into her head.
There was a plate with toast, eggs and a side of salad waiting for her on the counter when she walked into the kitchen. Yasmine was sitting down at the table, absentmindedly scrolling on her phone.
Beatrice took her plate and sat down in her usual spot. “Thank you for this, Yasmine, it looks delicious.”
The girl looked up at her and shrugged. “It’s not much, but I figured you didn’t want anything heavy if you’re going to bed soon anyway.”
Beatrice nodded as she took a bite. “It’s perfect.”
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes as Beatrice ate her late dinner.
“What did you mean when you said that maybe you should date me?”
“Oh that.” Beatrice took another bite. She gave Yasmine a brief rundown of the plan her friends had come up with to help her learn how to date.
“And I was one of the options?”
“Yes, but don’t worry, I quickly shot that down.”
Yasmine laughed. “Okay, so who ended up being the lucky lady?”
Beatrice was suddenly very interested in the remainder of her food. Her gaze was fixed on her plate as she shuffled around the last few bites.
“Ava.” She murmured, blushing slightly.
“Sorry?”
Beatrice scraped her throat and looked at her friend. “Ava. I’m going to be fake dating Ava.”
Yasmine raised her eyebrows as she gave her a knowing look. “Ava, huh?”
“What?” Beatrice asked defensively.
“No, nothing, it’s just an interesting choice.” Beatrice’s expression turned a little unsure.
“Not a bad one or anything, just interesting.” Yasmine clarified.
They were quiet again as Beatrice finished her food. Beatrice could feel Yasmine’s gaze still on her, but she decided to ignore it.
“You know I’m not the person to come to for dating advice, but I'm always here to talk when you want or need to.”
Beatrice looked at her friend and found more understanding on her face than she had expected to.
“Thank you.”
---
“If I read one more word, my brain will literally explode.” Lilith complained, leaning back in her chair.
Beatrice glanced at the clock; it was already past 9:30pm. They’d been at it for the past 3 days now and even though the end was in sight, she had to admit she shared Lilith’s sentiment.
“Let’s wrap this up and we can see if our friends are still at the bar.” Beatrice offered.
“Hallelujah!” Lilith threw her hands in the air. Beatrice chuckled lightly.
They needed a little fun after the week they’d had. Beatrice checked her phone. She had received a few texts in the time it was on silent.
The messages had gotten more intense over the hours.
Camila – Do you think you guys will have time to come to the bar later?
Camila – You work too hard.
Camila – All work and no play makes Bea a dull girl
Camila– Istg Beatrice if you don’t show up here in the next half hour, I’m coming over to drag you out myself. IT’S FRIDAY
Beatrice shook her head fondly.
Beatrice – Little aggressive, don’t you think? We’re finishing up here for today.
She also opened her thread with Ava and reread their last few messages from the late afternoon.
Ava – Hey Bea, I know you’ve been busy this week, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. Am I seeing you tonight?
Beatrice – Hey Ava, I know, I’m sorry. I’m not sure if we’ll make it tonight.
Ava – Well, I hope you do :)
Beatrice shot her friend a quick message as she reorganized her desk.
Beatrice – I’ll be there :)
Ava – WHO CHEERED!?!
Beatrice – Haha just let me finish up and we’ll see you
Ava – Can’t wait :)
Beatrice smiled at her phone as she put it down. Lilith was looking at her.
“Ava?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow, amused look on her face.
“And Camila, I told them we’ll see them later.”
“Uhu, well let’s get this over with and you can go see your girl, Romeo.” Lilith teased.
“Shut up.” Beatrice glared.
---
“Well, your mood magically improved.” Camila remarked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Ava, you were basically sulking a minute ago.” Camila laughed. “Does this have to do with Beatrice’s change in plans?”
“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.” She smiled innocently.
“Uhu, sure Jan.” Camila rolled her eyes.
“Let’s do more shots!” Ava suggested, successfully distracting her friend.
“Yes, let’s! Do you guys want some?” Camila asked Mary and Shannon.
The couple was sat close together in the booth, Mary’s arm around Shannon’s shoulders. “We’re good.”
The pair made their way over to the bar, walking arm in arm, they were definitely tipsy by now. They ordered some tequila and clumsily sat down on the stools to wait.
“So, when are you going on your date with Beatriiiice?” Camila singsonged.
“She hasn’t asked me yet.” Ava pouted.
“Ooh don’t worry, I’ll drop a subtle hint to her.” Camila tried to whisper conspiratorially. “Are you going to say yes?”
“Yes, but it needs to be romantic, I want to be wooed.” They were giggling like little schoolgirls now, heads close together.
“Okay, I’ve got this. I’m going to help you. I’ll be your wingwoman.” She said trying to suppress the giggles and put on a serious face. She held out her hand.
Ava matched her expression and gave Camila a firm handshake to seal the deal. They immediately burst into laughter again.
Camila looked at their table and abruptly jumped off her stool.
“They’re here!” She grabbed Ava by the hand and dragged her to their friends.
Not having complete control over their bodies, they stumbled into their friends, who were still standing in front of the booth. Luckily for them, Lilith and Beatrice were still sober and caught them with ease.
“Hi.” Camila and Ava said in unison, smiling up at their friends. Lilith was holding up Camila and Beatrice Ava.
“Oh Beatrice!” Camila remembered. “You need to ask Ava out. Soon! And it needs to be romantic! She needs to be wooed!”
Ava might be well underway to being drunk, but she was pretty sure her friend had promised to drop a subtle hint, and this didn’t particularly feel subtle.
Both Ava and Beatrice's cheeks colored lightly as they looked at each other, still holding one another.
“I will.” Beatrice said simply, making Ava’s cheeks darken a little more.
“Good, good.” Camila said, holding up her thumbs to Ava, winking obviously. The pair burst into another fit of giggles.
Lilith rolled her eyes and ushered Camila into the booth. Beatrice did the same with Ava, before sliding in next to her.
When their usual table wasn’t available, they chose to sit at this booth instead. Beatrice always sat on the outside of the booth. She didn’t like being confined with no easy way out like in the middle. She didn’t mind if that meant she was regularly on drink duty.
Mary and Shannon sat in the middle of the booth, now surrounded by their friends. They both had knowing smiles on their faces.
“Hey guys, we’re happy you could make it.” Mary said.
“Did you finish all of your work?” Shannon asked.
“We need another half day or so to get through the rest of it. We’re going back in tomorrow.” Lilith explained. Camila rested her head on Lilith’s shoulder, her eyes closed.
Ava wanted to do the same with Beatrice, but she wasn’t sure if Beatrice wanted to be touched at the moment. Beatrice had had a tough few days and Ava couldn’t properly gauge Beatrice’s body language in her current state to figure it out. So, she suppressed the urge to lay her head on her friend’s shoulder.
“We’re hoping to be done by lunch.” Beatrice added.
The others kept on talking for a while about work stuff, but Ava didn’t really notice or care. It seemed that Beatrice had noticed she was actively trying not to touch her, because she looked at her questioningly.
It was by no means a secret that Ava was a touchy person. She always subconsciously reached out to touch the people closest to her, especially when she’d had some to drink. Beatrice must’ve felt something was off, but Ava didn’t want to make her do something she didn’t like.
She smiled at her friend, trying to convey that it was okay. Beatrice tilted her head and shifted her leg so their knees and lower legs where touching. Then she tilted her head to the other side as if asking if that was alright.
Ava’s smile grew and she patted Beatrice’s knee softly, her hand not lingering.
Beatrice seemed to have some sort or radar when it came to Ava’s wants and needs and always tried to meet her halfway. It was one of the things Ava loved the most about her friend.
---
It was around 2 in the afternoon when they eventually closed the last case file.
Lilith dramatically closed her laptop and shoved it away. “Fucking finally! I thought we’d never get through them all.”
Beatrice carefully shut down her computer and cleaned up the remainder of her notes spread out between them.
“Do you want to get coffee? My treat.” Lilith offered.
“No, thank you, I already have something planned. You should ask Camila.”
Lilith shrugged. “Your loss. I will.”
They quickly cleaned up their things, not wanting to be there any longer than they had to on a Saturday. Lilith was already talking on the phone to Camila when they exited the building, so they just waved goodbye.
Beatrice made a short stop on the way to her final destination, her heart beating faster every minute. When she made it to the house, she wiped her hands on her jeans before ringing the bell. She heard footsteps approach rapidly until the door was pulled open.
“Oh Beatrice, hi. I didn’t expect to see you today.” The girl beamed.
Beatrice held out a single red rose in front of her. “Hi Ava, would you like to go on a date with me?”