Just to stop the feeling

Mondays were the hardest.

The first Monday after Jewels left, Suzie walked into the studio and felt the absence like a missing heartbeat. Jewels wasn’t there to grab her coffee from her hands, take an exaggerated sip, and complain about how she still didn’t put enough sugar. The youngest kids looked around, confused, as if waiting for her to pop in with her usual energy. Suzie smiled, reassured them, and carried on.

She spended time with Kori and Lydia, the both of them were always a breath of fresh air, for the first week Jewels was away, they came to her home and did the weekly sleep over with her so she wouldn’t be miserable.

The second Monday, things settled. Jewels’ students were now Suzie’s students, and while she didn’t have the same effortless rhythm Jewels did, she managed. Lunch breaks, once filled with laughter and shared meals, were now quiet moments where Suzie scrolled through her phone, debating if she should text Jewels first.

By the third Monday, Suzie had mastered the art of pretending she wasn’t lost without Jewels. She kept busy, arriving early, staying late, pouring herself into the academy as if she could fill the empty space Jewels left behind.

The only thing that didn’t change was their nighttime calls.

Every evening, Jewels’ name would light up Suzie’s screen, and for a little while, it was like she wasn’t gone. Jewels talked about Westview—the sprawling dance halls, the impressive faculty, the opportunities. She gushed about the people she met, new friends who understood her work, who made her feel inspired.

Suzie listened, laughed in the right places, and never once admitted how much she missed her.

She didn’t tell Jewels how lonely their bed felt during sleepovers that never happened. She didn’t mention how she still made too much food at lunch, instinctively expecting to share. She never brought up the way her chest ached when Jewels talked about her new life, how it felt like Jewels was slipping further away with every excited story about Westview.

And she didn’t tell Jewels about the man.

It happened over a call, like every other night.

Suzie sat in bed, staring at the ceiling while Jewels talked about some incredible dancer she’d met. Her voice was bright, animated. Jules was thriving. And Suzie… Suzie felt like she was treading water.

Maybe that’s why she said it. Maybe she needed to prove—to Jewels, to herself—that she wasn’t just waiting.

“I’ve been seeing someone,” Suzie said suddenly, cutting through Jewels laughter.

Silence.

Then, Jewels’ voice, careful. “Wait, what?” Suzie hesitated. “His name is Daniel. He’s Olivia’s uncle.”

Jewels let out a small, breathless laugh. “Liv’s uncle? No way.”

Suzie swallowed. “Yeah. We’ve been on a couple dates. Nothing serious.”

Jewels didn’t say anything right away. When she spoke again, her voice was too careful. Too even.

“Well, that’s… that’s great, Suz.” It sounded wrong.

Suzie’s fingers clenched around the phone. “You don’t have to pretend you’re thrilled.”

A beat.

Then Jewels let out a sharp exhale, the sound of forced laughter. “What do you mean? I amthrilled. Daniel’s a nice guy, right? I mean, you could do worse.”

Suzie frowned. “Jewels.”

“What?” Jewels said, breezy, like nothing was wrong. “I mean, it’s good! You should—expand your horizons. Go out. Live a little.”

Suzie’s chest ached.

She hated this. Hated the way Jewels’ voice sounded a little too fake, a little too distant. Hated the way this whole conversation felt like walking on shattered glass.

Suzie squeezed her eyes shut. “Yeah. It just… happened.”

She didn’t explain how it really happened—that she let it happen because she was lonely, because she was trying to move forward instead of standing still, waiting for something she couldn’t name.

Jewels let out a small laugh, but it didn’t reach her usual warmth. “Well. Looks like you didn’t miss me that much after all.” It was meant to be a joke, but it hit Suzie like a knife.

She pressed the phone tighter to her ear.

But Jewels cut in, voice a little too breezy. “No, really. That’s great. I mean, we both knew things wouldn’t stay the same, right? I’m happy you’re back to dating, you need a little happiness in your life, I am just bummed that I´m not there to meet him”

But Jewels cut her off before she could say more. “Listen, I—I must go. We’ll talk later, okay?”

And before Suzie could protest, the line went dead.

Daniel was a nice guy.

He was funny, kind, and effortlessly charming in that easy way theater people always seemed to be. He had a little niece, Olivia—Liv, as she liked to be called—and Jewels had known them both long before Suzie ever did. Olivia had been one of Jewels’ students, and sometimes, when her parents were busy, it was Daniel who dropped her off or stayed to watch. He was always warm, always ready with a joke, the kind of guy people gravitated toward.

So when Suzie took over Jewels’ class, it wasn’t long before Daniel became part of herroutine too.

At first, it was just casual conversation, friendly nods exchanged in hallways, the occasional joke about wrangling a group of six-year-olds into dance positions. Then, one day, Daniel had invited her for coffee. She had hesitated. But she had too much free time, too much empty space where Jewels used to be, and she thought—why not?

Two dates turned into three, into late-night texts, into something that felt almost like the beginning of something real.

But it wasn’t.

Because no matter how nice Daniel was, no matter how easy he was to talk to, Suzie could never quite get into it. Not really. Not the way she was supposed to.

Because Jewels wasn’t there.

And maybe that was pathetic. Maybe it was ridiculous. But Jewels had been the rhythm of her days, the voice in her ear. And even though Jewels still called, even though they still texted, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the same as her being here.

And so Suzie had let herself drift toward Daniel, not out of passion, not out of some grand romance, but because it was something to keep her busy. Something to keep her from missing Jewels too much. And now, here they were.

Suzie was halfway through her morning coffee when her phone buzzed on the counter.

J:Guess who’s coming home for spring break?

She nearly choked on her sip.

S:You’re serious?

J:Dead serious.

A beat. Then—

J:First thing in the morning. Pick me up?

S:Obviously.

Suzie stared at her phone for a long moment, her heart pounding hard in her chest. The weight that had been pressing down on her for months—the loneliness, the distance, the ache of missing Jewels—lifted just a little.

Jewels was coming home.

The morning air was crisp when Suzie pulled up to the airport, but she barely felt it. Her knee bounced as she waited, her hands tight on the steering wheel.

Then she saw her.

Jewels, stepping through the doors, her bag slung over her shoulder, hair slightly tousled, eyes scanning the crowd—until they landed on Suzie.

And then she was running.

Suzie barely had time to brace herself before Jewels crashed into her, arms winding tight around her shoulders, squeezing too hard, like she was trying to make up for every missed day in one embrace.

“God, I missed you,” Jewels mumbled into her neck.

Suzie swallowed past the lump in her throat. “You saw me on FaceTime two nights ago.”

Jewels pulled back just enough to grin. “Not the same.”

They spent the whole day together.

There was lunch at their favorite café, a slow stroll through the city, aimless chatter about nothing and everything. It felt normal again. Easy. Like the last few months had never happened.

By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, they were in Suzie’s kitchen, glasses of wine in hand, music playing softly in the background.

Suzie was at the stove, stirring something fragrant, while Jewels sat on the counter, watching her.

“You know,” Jewels said, swirling her wine, “I really missed this.”

Suzie glanced at her. “Missed what? My cooking?”

Jewels grinned. “That too. But mostly just… this. Us. Everything in Westview is amazing, but there’s no replacement for this.”

Suzie kept her gaze on the pan, stirring a little slower.

“My friends there, they’re great,” Jewels continued, her voice softer now. “But they don’t get me like you do.”

Suzie exhaled, her chest tightening.

She let the moment settle between them, warm and familiar, before carefully choosing her next words.

“So…” she started, keeping her tone light. “Are you planning on staying in Westview?” Jewels stilled.

Then—too casual, too breezy—“Why? You already looking for a replacement?”

Suzie turned to face her, resting her hip against the counter. “No, I haven’t. But I want to know if you’re coming back.”

Jewels’ fingers tightened around the stem of her glass.

“Because,” Suzie went on, “I’ve been overworked lately. The managment, the extra classes—it’s a lot.”

Something flickered across Jewels’ face. Hurt. Guilt. Something in between.

Suzie wasn’t sure if it was because of her words or because Jewels had been keeping something from her.

But before she could push further, Jewels forced a smile.

“Yeah,” she said, raising her glass and analyzing it. “Seems logical, I’m sorry I left all that workload to you.”

Susie didn’t smile back.

Jewels sipped her wine, trying to shake the tension in her shoulders. Suzie hadn’t looked away from her, her gaze unwavering, searching.

“You’re avoiding the question,” Suzie said, voice soft but insistent.

Jewels exhaled. “What question?”

Susie tilted her head. “Are you planning on leaving the academy behind?”

Jewels glanced at the floor, then back up, forcing a smile. “Suz, maybe it’s time for both of us to open our wings. Fly away a little.”

Suzie frowned. “Fly away from what?”

Jewels set her glass down. “From… everything. The academy, this town, the same routine every day. Maybe we need a change. Maybe you need a change.”

Suzie crossed her arms, something wary settling in her expression. “Why do I feel like you’re not just talking about yourself?”

Jewels hesitated, then forced a small shrug “I mean, it was my dream, right? But what about yours?”

Susie’s expression barely shifted, but Jules knew her too well to miss the tension that settled in her shoulders.

“You wanted to be a performer, Suz. Broadway. The stage. You never planned to run a dance academy for the rest of your life.”

Suzie stared at her for a long moment, her fingers tapping absently against the counter. “And you never planned to run it alone,” she said finally.

Jewels’ heart clenched.

“It’s not about that,” she insisted, but her voice wasn’t as strong as she wanted it to be. “I just… I don’t want you to think you have to stay just because of me.”

Suzie shook her head, lips pressing together. “Jewels, we built this together.”

Jewels opened her mouth, but Suzie stopped her with a quiet sigh. “Can we not do this right now?”

Jewels hesitated, then gave a small nod. “Yeah. Okay.”

Suzie picked up her wine glass again, taking a slow sip. Then she turned back to the stove, stirring absentmindedly before speaking again.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something else,” she said carefully.

Jewels leaned back against the counter. “Yeah?”

Suzie glanced at her. “Daniel.”

Jewels’ stomach twisted. She kept her face neutral, lifting a brow. “Oh?”

Suzie hesitated, like she wasn’t sure where to start. “I’ve been seeing him.”

Jewels already knew, but hearing Suzie say it out loud felt different. Heavier.

She forced a smile, but it felt brittle. “I know,” she said. “And?”

“Well, he wants to meet you” Suzie said, not looking at her.

Jewels responded in a matter-of-fact tone “But he already knows me? I was Liv´s dance teacher” she said making a silly face to Suzie, she couldn’t help to chuckle a little.

“Well, I phrased that wrong, he wants the three of us to go out and meet you in a friendly capacity” Jewels had understood what she meant from the start, but ever since she knew that they were an item, her heart and soul was dreading the time of seeing Suzie be in a relationship with someone, let alone Daniel.

But of course, she was going to do it because Suzie was asking, looking all bashful and adorable, she stared at her little redhead for short moment, and decided to bite the bullet and ask.

“Do you love him, Suz?”

Suzie’s eyes twinkled in a very peculiar way, she swallows hard before responding in a doubtful tone “It’s too early to say, but I am very happy with him, so it’s a good sign isn’t it?”

Suzie never asked herself that question before, she went out with Daniel because it made her feel good, cared for, desired. But love was something else entirely, Daniel was a lovable guy, he was nice with children, charismatic, and had a stable job, many girls dreamed of having that, right?

Jewels took a moment to choose her next words carefully, a part of her wanted to tell Suzie that no, it was not a good sign, that he needed make her feel like the most precious and especial human being in the entire world, that he needed to fight for her against the world’s toughest obstacles and be victorious, and that even then, he wouldn’t be deserving of her love.

But Jewels just looked at her and gave her a pretty comforting smile and said, “Of course baby, that’s a good sign”. Jewels was sometimes a selfish and complicated girl, but she would never do something to tie down Suzie ever again, she loved her too much.