Chapter 6
Two hours had passed since the revelation, and Tony Stark still had not completely grasped the truth. After JARVIS’ words he had started to look around and indeed found that all of Loki’s belongings were gone. It hurt.
What hurt even more was that the things that Tony had given him were still here. His cell phone, for one. So no way to just up and call him, talk about things and solve this situation. Dammit Loki.
He also found that several books that he had bought solely for Loki, some souvenirs from all over the world and other things that either reminded Loki of him or -in Loki’s mind at least- did not clearly belong to the god himself had been left at the tower. Anyway, after finding the proof of Loki’s absence he had started to almost erratically search for a note, a sign, anything from Loki, left for him, filled with explanations or maybe even the prospect of a possible future reconciliation, but nothing. All he found was the silence and the empty space tall god had left. An empty space that he hadn’t even noticed his lover had occupied, but now that he was gone, the Loki-sized hole clawed wide open.
He didn’t know what to do anymore. He needed his friends.
But Pepper had flown to god knows where, she had probably told him but like always he had forgotten of course, and Rhodey was away on a mission, not to be contacted, disturbed or whatever the fuck else you might think of Tony, ‘cause this one is important alright! Call Pepper when there’s a problem, I’ll call you when I’m back!
So Rhodey was off limits, too, because despite what people always said, Tony could be a good person and respect his friends’ wishes, even though it wouldn’t even be a challenge to hack the military’s database and find out where Rhodey currently was and then fly there just to talk to him… but no, Tony was a good friend and would not do that.
So that only left the Avengers. But even though Tony would call them his friends now, he still wasn’t sure if he could confide in them. Thor was an absolute no go, he would probably beat Tony to a pulp when he found out that his precious brother was gone because of him. Clint was … difficult. He didn’t even know if the archer liked Loki these days or still hated him and just pretended to tolerate him. All in all, it was too unclear a situation to ask Clint for help. Natasha was a bad choice too. He remembered how fiercely she protected Loki every time something had happened, so she would probably just assume everything was Tony’s fault (as it was, to at least 88%, he would admit that! But, Loki could have said something too, right? Talk about stuff, tell him if he had a problem and not just off and leave!) and tear his eyes out or whatever. So, no russian spy! Sam would probably just do what Cap would do and Steve himself was nice, but. He was from another time, from decades ago. Things were different now and not everything could be solved with flowers or whatever crap he would surely suggest. That just left Bruce. And Bruce was a good person, Science Bros and all that but he was Bruce. And The Other Guy still hated Loki. Probably. Most certainly! Well, nobody knew for sure and Bruce always insisted that he didn’t, but no one ever wanted to test that theory so there was no prove.
So, Tony realized, there really was no one around right now to help him with this, besides JARVIS maybe, and wasn’t that a scary thought. In the last months and years he had gotten so used to the team being around and them meddling with his affairs - helping, as they called it - so that now, that no one would understand, Tony felt so much more desperate somehow.
He usually wasn’t a person that always asked for help, but the Avengers had proven to be much like Rhodey and Pepper, they became his family and seemed to realize when something was off and just took it upon themselves to support and help him whenever he needed them to.
Loki would know what to do now! How to behave and all that shit, to make everything better and the bad things just magically disappear. But that was the thing, wasn’t it? Loki wasn’t here. Because Tony had blown it. And Tony wouldn’t be Tony if he didn’t just cope with it in his own special way: not at all. He was a genius and his brain could do things, that other people wouldn’t even dream of! But one thing he couldn’t do at all was dealing with emotional situations. He generally avoided those, but when that wasn’t an option, he just plain ignored them. Stored them far away somewhere in his head to be forgotten and never thought about again. Because it was so much easier to just keep it all inside, forget and pretend than to talk and let the pain become something real.
So Tony suddenly turned around, probably startling JARVIS - had he been a human being at least - and stalked to the elevator.
“Jarv, lab.” he whispered, fighting with sudden tears that he didn’t want to - wouldn’t allow to - fall, before taking a deep, shuddering breath, blinking away the wet in his eyes and then desperately attempting some form of conversation with his A.I. to end the unbearable silence that just seemed to down him.
“Put the lab on lockdown, J.”
“Most certainly Sir! I had already assumed that would be your course of action.” came the prompt reply.
Well, at least there were no pauses before speaking anymore. Maybe it had been a temporary occurrence?
“What was up with your speaking earlier anyway?” the genius asked distractedly. Everything was a better than thinking about how the God of Mischief had left him, without saying one single word. Why hadn’t he talked to Tony about whatever had driven him away? Why didn’t he just say something, try to work it out? Was Tony not worth it? Had Loki just used him after all? Had he gotten bored of his mortal lover? Had-
Thankfully the british voice interrupted the turmoil of Tony’s dark thoughts.
“I guess you refer to my pausing before answering your questions regarding Mr. Laufeyson. That was my more … humane side, that you decided to gift me with, Sir. Over thinking before speaking seems to be a common thing for humans, when emotional counterparts are involved.” came the rather dry answer.
“Naaw, that you telling me you like me, Jarv?” the genius teased back, forgetting the rather unpleasant situation at hand for a short moment.
“Always, Sir. Your programming allows me nothing else.”
“You getting smart with me, boy?” Tony chuckled, but perfectly aware of the sincere tone of his butler’s statement.
At least JARVIS would always stay loyal to him, he thought, slowly getting out of the elevator that had now arrived at his lab.
“Put on some music, J, will ya?”
He made his way over to his workbench, twisting his fingers through the air and opening some holograms of his next projects for Stark Industries and the Avengers. Finally deciding on a mere upgrade Pepper had bugged him about for weeks now, he started to get working, humming along to the Scorpions, JARVIS’ music of choice for now, blaring out of the speakers.