Chapter 6
+-+-+-+-+
Clint gets everything quickly enough, makes it back to the safehouse in a few hours. His mind is a whirl wind right now, trying to figure out exactly what they are going to do, how they can stay off the grid and this is going to be difficult, he is sure of it, but it is the right thing to do. Even if the soldier wasn’t his marked, this would still be the right thing to do. From what he has said, the way he acts, the soldier has been broken and used and nobody should be forced to be a weapon. Clint isn’t always happy with what he does but he has a bit of say in it, has out right refused jobs before, but the soldier doesn’t have that option. He’ll have it now, Clint will make sure of it, and he is looking forward to seeing him again.
He is almost to the door now and something doesn’t quite seem right, something telling Clint that something is wrong and he puts his bags down, moves closer. He gets a knife in his hand as he does so, need to be careful and he figures out what is wrong as he touches the door knob, turns it. It turns easily, isn’t locked and Clint had locked it before he left, made sure of it and he knows something has happened.
He moves quickly now, still has a hold of his knife and he searches the whole safe house. Nothing is really destroyed, the lock wasn’t broken though it might have been picked, and only a few things look to be out of place. There is no sign of the soldier, no sign of anyone else being here either but it is the fact that the soldier is gone that makes Clint stop and lean against the wall. He feels like he might fall down, fear and guilt crashing over him.
His marked isn’t here and Clint has no idea if he just left or if he was taken. There are not really any signs of a struggle but that doesn’t mean much, the soldier could have gone with them willingly for some reason and that makes Clint hurt. The soldier is gone and Clint doesn’t know why and he doesn’t know what to do about it, doesn’t know if he can do anything about it. His heart feels heavy right now, he thought he was going to be able to make things right and now he doesn’t know what to do. He slides down to the floor, just sits there and tries to keep himself calm, promises himself that he will find him again, that he will get the soldier out of where ever he was taken. He hopes it is a promise that he can keep.
+-+-+-+-+
The soldier is awake now and he can remember his last mission, can remember Clint and he knows that won’t last for long, he’ll be wiped from his head soon. He almost wishes he could keep him but that is too dangerous, he made a choice to save Clint from this and that means he can’t have him, can’t keep him. He wonders if Clint hates him now, is angry at him, if he even realizes that James left by choice, and he just hopes that Clint doesn’t look for him. If he does, he isn’t sure what will happen to both of them.
They are leading him to the chair now and he looks down at his words as they do, wonders briefly if Clint’s words will change like the others do or if they will stay the same. A part of him hopes they won’t change, it will be safer for both of them that way, means they won’t meet again and he will not have to worry about his orders, will not have to worry about them finding out about his lie. He does kind of wish he could see Clint again but it is better that he doesn’t. As he sits down, he sees the other words below Clint’s and he thinks about them for a bit, knows that he has met the person who will say them before, that is why they keep changing, and he thinks about red hair and warmth. At least he should be able to see her again even if he won’t be able to keep her from being used like he was able to do with Clint. He pushes both of them out of his mind now because they are giving him the mouth guard and it is about to begin.
It a rush of pain like always, never lessens even with how often it is done to him. His mind feels like it is being ripped into and he supposes it is like that, his memories being torn apart. It leaves him shaking and breathing heavily when it is done and it always takes him a few moments to refocus after. When he has gathered himself just a bit, he looks to the words on his skin. They both seem unchanged and there is a bit of relief in that, especially in the fact that the ones on his ribs are still the same . They have never changed as far as he knows and he still isn’t sure why that is when the ones below seem to be different whenever he looks at them. He looks at them for just a moment before his attention is drawn to one of the other people in the room.
“You need to get ready for your mission. You do not remember but you did not do everything you could on the last mission, had to be punished. Make certain that this mission is not the same. Understand?”
It is one of the higher ups, the soldier knows that, Pierce is his name, and he isn’t usually here for the soldier’s briefing, must be here because of the failure. He gives a nod as he answers.
“Yes, sir.”
He says it and means it. The soldier is a bit disappointed in himself for apparently failing a mission, he should know better, and he will make certain that this one goes well. He is given the briefing and then heads out for it.
It is a short one and he is put back in the cold soon enough, dreams of red hair a bit again but also of blond this time, warm lips along with warm hands, and he isn’t quite sure why. He is woken up again, another brief mission, and then put back to sleep. He is woken up a third time and none of his words have changed and that is a bit different. He is used to the ones below his ribs shifting but he doesn’t think they have in a while. He tries not to think about it too much as Pierce is here again and that only really happens when the mission is a difficult or long one or he failed. He does not think he failed, Pierce doesn’t seem angry or disappointed and when the soldier is given the file for the briefing he can tell this mission will be a bit different.
“We need intel, a lot of it, and this is a co-operation. You have worked with the other agent before, you two work well together, both know your duty, there shouldn’t be any issues. You will be gone quite a while for this one, periodical check-ins when needed but you will not be back here for a while. You are to still obey all orders, especially those concerning your marks and returning to here once you are finished. There will be consequences otherwise. “
Pierce says all of this and the soldier gives the only answer that he can.
“Yes, sir.”
The soldier is always a little conflicted when there are longer missions, likes being out of the cold for long periods of time, likes the chance to have a little time when he isn’t watched so closely, but sometimes things start to surface in his mind that makes it a little harder to follow orders if he is out long enough. He won’t be alone this time and perhaps that will make it easier because there will be someone to remind him of his duty.
It doesn’t take long for the briefing to be over, for Pierce to leave with one final reminder to the soldier to do follow his orders, and then the soldier is taken to where he will be stationed for the mission. It is a safehouse but it isn’t as secluded as some of the others he has used before, is nicer and looks like someone’s home from the outside and he knows that it is this way because he will be playing a part when needed. It is something he has done before, not often but on occasion, and it is still odd sometimes. He is a weapon and it feels strange to play at being a person, to pretend he has choices, has a life. At least it isn’t the cold and they leave him in the house, tell him the other agent should be there shortly. He sharpens his knives as he waits and it doesn’t take long till there are footsteps and he hears a voice speak with just a hint of fondness in it.
“I have gotten compliments on how sharp I keep my knives but I think that yours may be sharper.”
Those words are below his ribs right now and he looks up at red hair and there is just a bit of warmth that settles over him. He doesn’t remember her very clearly but he knows her, trusts her and he gives a little smile as he continues sharpening his knife.
“Possibly.”
It is one word and he would ask her to see it but he somehow knows it won’t be on her skin, the words never are. She comes closer, sits down beside him and takes one of his knives, looks it over. He doesn’t like people touching his weapons but with her it is alright, he knows that she won’t damage it.
“I’m glad it is you on this mission, it will be at least a few weeks, glad it is someone I know. We should probably go over some of it soon, can do it over food. Have you ate yet?”
He shakes his head and she gives him a little smile, puts the knife down.
“Well, we can make something, the knives can wait.”
He gives her a little smile of his own and sets his knife down. They both get up and make a small meal together, heat up some canned soup that is in the cupboards, toast up some bread to eat with it. This feels familiar, is something he has probably done with her before but he also feels like he has done this with someone else as well though no face comes to mind. He pushes the thought aside and just focuses on making the meal and then sitting down with her. They discuss the missions, discuss their covers.
“They gave you a name for this one, what is it?”
She asks and he answers.
“Warren James Spencer.”
Her face wrinkles about a bit at it and she shakes her head a bit.
“I think Warren doesn’t suit you but James isn’t too bad. Perhaps I will call you that instead of Winter this time, if you are alright with it.”
Someone asking his permission for something is strange to him but he does not mind it, gives a little nod.
“What is your name for the mission, what can I call you here?”
He asks, can’t quite remember her name right now but she seems alright with it.
“My name for the mission is Sophia Ann Spencer but here you may call me Natasha like you usually do.”
“Alright, Natasha.”
He says this to try out her name and it feels right on his tongue and she gives him another small smile . He likes those smiles. They finish up their dinner, finish going over things, and then they take a walk around the safe house, make certain it is secured. It is late soon enough, time for rest before the mission starts tomorrow and he finds himself in the bedroom with her, both of them laying down and she lays close to him, settles against him.
“We will have to be close to each other the next few weeks, out in public, play at being in love, not afraid to touch each other. It shouldn’t be too difficult, I have done it many times before. Have you done it before?”
She asks now and he brings a hand towards her hair and she gives a little nod. His fingers settle into the softness of her hair as he answers.
“I can’t remember. It will be different for me, letting someone touch me.”
Different but he thinks maybe it won’t be too bad. She shifts just a bit now, looks at him and asks a question.
“Can I kiss you now, help you get used to it?”
The question seems familiar, like someone has asked something like it once before but he can’t remember so he just gives a little nod. She leans now, brushes her lips against his, soft and warm, and he likes it. She pulls back after a moment, settles against him again.
“That felt different than other kisses, less like a weapon. It was nice.”
She says this and he isn’t sure if he understands what she means about the kiss not being a weapon but he agrees with her about it being nice.
“It was. I think this mission will go smoothly, I trust you.”
He says this, knows that it is true, and she shifts just a bit closer to him now.
“I trust you too. We should try to sleep.”
She says this now and he gives a nod but doesn’t close his eyes just yet. He lays there and enjoys the way she feels next to him, warm and soft, and he wishes this is something he could always have. He can’t keep it but he will have this, have her, for the next few weeks and maybe that will be enough.
+-+-+-+-+