Lucky Thirteen

Bruce was typically a force of tranquility. It was a skill he had developed over the years since his angry youth. He had to be good and angry to lose his control and lash out, but at the moment he was more than a little frantic as he prepared dinner for his seven kids and Tony.

Their first date had been so good that there had been no hesitation, no debating whether or not to continue. In fact, over the entire course of the first date Bruce had been so glad he had decided to take the chance for one proper date. It had been natural and easy and, just like in Germany, it felt like he had been talking to Tony and sharing things with him for years. It didn't make sense and yet it did in a thrilling kind of way and no matter the consequences he wasn't ready to give that up just because of convention.

Then again, this was a horse of a different color altogether. The date had gone so well and they had already shared so much of themselves with one another that it had seemed like a good second date should involve one of them meeting the other's children since it was such a critical part of their respective lives. Based on schedule and convenience, they had decided on Tony coming to dinner to meet Bruce's kids first. Which was wonderful and Bruce was excited, but that excitement was mingled with a good deal of anxiety.

Entertaining Tony in his humble house with a meal he had prepared himself and with seven kids who might say or do anything could change the game and not for his benefit. As he scrambled to set the table, with Jemma's help, and asked Steve to make sure the baked ziti was started in the oven at a specific time while he went to finish getting cleaned up, he couldn't help but wonder if Tony would realize just what it meant to be involved with a simple man like himself and change his mind.

He shook those thoughts aside as he made his way to his bedroom and started unbuttoning his shirt. He shifted his thoughts to looking through his modest closet for a different one.

"See, this is why I told you to wait until after the third date to invite a guy over," Natasha interrupted his thoughts with a laugh and he turned to see both her and Loki standing just inside the doorway with equally judgmental expressions. "You're an absolute wreck and you haven't even gotten any yet."

Bruce rolled his eyes and went back to looking through his closet, choosing to ignore her as he didn't have time for that conversation right now. He pulled out a purple button up and a black one and weighed them back and forth considering.

"The purple one," Loki suggested.

"Really?" Bruce held it out further and studied it before looking over at his son. "Don't think that's a little conspicuous?"

"Well, you're in your own home," Loki pointed out. "Why not wear something a little more colorful that you're comfortable in? Besides, we've all said it before, father. Purple is your color." Beside him Natasha hummed in agreement.

Bruce chuckled slightly, but gave in to his son's advice. He put the other shirt back in the closet, removed the purple shirt from the hangar and then slipped it on. "Maybe one of these days I'll actually believe that," he said with a smile and shake of his head as he started buttoning his new shirt.

"Dad, relax," Natasha urged him. "It'll be fine. We'll all be on our best behavior."

Bruce snorted. "Oh, yes. Let's lure him in with false security. Excellent idea."

"Only until the—" Natasha started and he looked at her sharply, effectively cutting that statement off.

"I swear, Tasha if you say third date one more time, I might actually ground you. It's… It's starting to concern me a little," he said genuinely as he moved toward the bathroom to fix his hair.

"It is rather plebeian to fixate so much of a relationship on sex," Loki said, but the inflection of his voice made it sound as if there was some inside joke to his comment that Bruce was missing. Before he could consider it further Loki continued. "There's more than that to compatibility. And many are starting to adhere to the five date rule when looking for a long term relationship."

"I don't see the difference two dates can make," Thor chimed in and Bruce ducked his head out to see his other son was standing in the doorway of the room.

"Oh god, would you…" He took a breath to calm himself. "Would my angelic children please stop standing around in my bedroom discussing the logistics of when to first have sex with somebody?" He shook his head and went back to fixing his hair, or attempting to. "If it happens," he pitched his voice louder, "it'll happen when it feels right and not just because there's some magical timeline. Besides, I spent three days with the man which makes this kind of the third date, if not officially. And obviously nothing's going to happen tonight." He ducked his head out again to look at his children. "Now one of you, please make sure Peter is actually getting ready." Thor left to do that. "And has anyone fed Hulk?"

Both Natasha and Loki shared a grimace between them, but left just the same to do that or something else. He didn't care as long as they weren't standing around in his bedroom making him more nervous. He loved them, but he needed a little peace at the moment.

Bruce took a few swipes through his waves with his comb to make sure they were good and, well, somewhat more tame than they had been due to his working in the kitchen. He then washed his face, needlessly brushed his teeth, and freshened up his deodorant with a dab of cologne just to be on the safe side. Satisfied, or at least deciding it was as good as it was going to get for the evening, he returned to finish in the kitchen and make sure his kids were ready since Tony was sure to be there any minute.

"Alright, everything's on the table. Extra chair. Head count…" He was in the middle of mumbling to himself and fidgeting with minute details like rolling up his sleeves to his elbow when the doorbell rang. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest. It was beating faster than before their first date.

Bruce steadied himself and quickly made his way over to the door. He opened it and Tony stood there somehow looking just as handsome and put together as ever with sunglasses, an AC/DC shirt and, no doubt expensive, jeans. He was immediately glad he took Loki's advice and had gone with his more worn down and colorful shirt option.

"You look amazing," Tony said without preamble and Bruce blinked. "Seriously, purple… Purple looks fantastic on you. You've been holding out," he said in a genuine tone as he came into the house.

"You're not the first person to say that," Bruce finally replied and then looked down at the book Tony held out in one hand. He furrowed his brow as he took it. "Around The World in 80 Days?"

"Not flowers, but you said you're a bibliophile and that is absolutely one of my favorites. I'm sure Jemma would love it," Tony explained

Bruce blinked again and then looked back up at Tony. "I… I love this book," he said. "It's definitely one of my favorite classics."

"Really?" Tony sounded pleased.

"Yeah. I mean, what's not to love? It's Jules Verne. And it inspired so many real life attempts."

"Yeah, I was thinking you could supplement it with the story of Nellie Bly. Definitely inspiring," Tony replied and Bruce smiled in agreement. "Although I have to admit my favorite is the legend of Harry Bensley. The—"

"Rich playboy who attempted to walk around the world in an iron mask looking for a wife without letting her see his face," Bruce completed with an enthusiastic nod of his head, not meaning to cut him off but unable to help it.

"I love that you know that," Tony said with an impressed, Cheshire grin.

Bruce shrugged. "Well, that's definitely the one that's most memorable to me. There's just something a little intriguing about his particular tale, whatever the truth of the story is. And the stuff that happened later is interesting too. After WWI he only worked blue-collar jobs like at the YMCA. And he was a bomb checker in the Second World War. It's fascinating stuff." He glanced down at the book. "Thank you," he said and when he glanced back up he got a little lost in Tony's eyes as they seem fixed on his own.

Natasha cleared her throat, startling them both into looking over at the line of kids. Bruce winced a little at the fact that he forgot they were even in the room. That was certainly an interesting development, he mused, if Tony could capture his attention that much. He carefully set the book down on the nearby bookshelf and then moved to stand in the gap between Steve and Thor, though he stood behind them.

"This is my oldest Steve," Bruce said, beginning the formal introductions. Tony might already know them by name and face, but it just seemed like the right thing to do.

"Nice to meet you, Steve." Tony reached out a hand and Steve, ever his gentleman son, shook it politely.

"And you, Mr. Stark. As the oldest I feel I should get this out of the way now," Steve started and Bruce suddenly felt a spike of dread, but it eased quickly after. "I love my dad. We all do. I'd prefer it if you didn't hurt him."

Tony smiled. "I'd prefer that too," Tony assured him and Steve nodded.

"I'm Thor," Thor introduced himself and Bruce was fairly certain Tony winced a little at his second son's strong handshake. "My real name is Jakob and some people call me Jake. But I prefer Thor."

"Thor, got it," Tony said and Bruce noted with a wry smile the way he subtly flexed his fingers.

"This is Loki. Loren, but he prefers Loki," Bruce introduced his third son.

Tony held out a hand and Loki looked at it warily. "I don't care much for shaking hands with people," Loki said and Bruce was glad he at least managed to sound politely apologetic about it, somewhat.

Tony let his hand fall. "Hey, no problem. We all have our things. I don’t like to be handed stuff. Weird sort of neurosis where I have exceptions to who can hand me things otherwise it makes me feel uncomfortable for ages afterward." Bruce smiled knowing that he had quickly become one of those exceptions. "Nice to meet you just the same."

"Likewise," Loki said evenly in that tone that made Bruce a little unsure about his thoughts on the situation.

"I'm Natasha," Natasha said next and held out her hand first. Even without seeing her face, Bruce could tell she was making a calculating assessment of Tony. "I guess you're handsome enough," she said and Bruce nearly choked. "And the book was inspired."

"I think I get it. You just want the best for you dad," Tony said, though Bruce thought he seemed slightly intimidated by his forward daughter.

"I do. And Steve isn't the child to worry about if you hurt him," she added coolly. "But it's nice to meet you."

"Ah, yeah…" Tony definitely gave a nervous chuckle and Bruce was torn between laughing as well or just burying his head somewhere. "Same to you, Natasha." Tony then looked at Jane. "Well, you look familiar," he said, recovering with a blinding smile. "Have we met before?"

"Hi, Tony!" Jane gave him an easy hug and Bruce was reminded of how glad he was to have one ardent supporter in all of this madness. "I've been studying all about arc reactor technology and there are so many implications for its use in space travel."

"Impressive," Tony encouraged. "Skye says hello. Sam probably would have, but his father had a long weekend so he's with him."

"This is Peter," Bruce motioned next to his youngest son.

"Peter huh? You know I kind of have a Peter of my own," Tony said with a smile as he looked at the boy.

"You do?" Peter asked. "Wouldn't that be confusing?" He then asked accusingly and looked up at Bruce with a slight grimace.

"Sorry, he's… He's still acclimating to the idea of dad seeing somebody," Bruce apologized.

"I'm sure they all are. Mine included," Tony said with a minute flap of his hand before looking at Peter again. "I have a son name Pietro. Which in other countries is the equivalent of Peter," he explained.

"So his name is Peter, but it isn't? Would I be Pietro if I went over to another country?"

Tony gave a soft laugh. "No, you'd still be Peter. But if you had been born in another country, your name might be Pietro, or Petri, or Petru even. Names are cool like that."

"Oh," Peter said and then pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Still maybe confusing," he said with a shrug.

"And that leaves Jemma," Bruce said with a smile as he moved to stand behind his youngest, unsure of if she would be shy or precocious since it really depended on the stranger and how comfortable she felt.

Tony crouched down in front of her. "Hi, Jemma. It's a pleasure to meet you. I bet it's not always easy being the youngest of seven is it?"

"You have no idea," Jemma answered and Bruce saw her shoulders deflate a little in ease.

Tony smiled warmly and shook his head. "No, I wouldn't. I was an only child. But that got kind of lonely sometimes so I'm just a little bit jealous of you and your brothers and sisters. You know it's been a while since any of my kids were as little as you. Mind if I give you a hug?"

Jemma hesitated and Bruce watched on in curiosity, but then she nodded and Tony gave her a gentle hug just as the timer went off on the oven. With a smile Bruce broke away from the group which quickly turned into a small circus as the kids scattered to get drinks and to start helping themselves to the salad that Steve pulled from the refrigerator and set on the table.

As he pulled the baked ziti out, Bruce noted behind him that Thor and Jane took it on themselves to offer Tony drinks or any other assistance as well as showing him to his seat at the table. And from what he could tell Jane was making it her goal to snag one of the seats on either side of the billionaire. When he turned around to bring the hot dish over to the middle of the table he was a little surprised to see Peter had snagged the other seat beside Tony.

He went back to the kitchen momentarily to discard his hot gloves and to grab his own drink, which was just iced water, before returning and settling in a seat between Jemma and Natasha. The seat was slightly across from Tony, though not directly as the table was made for eight and not nine. He was immediately grateful though that the table had a little extra give in the space to add the ninth chair when they had guests, even if it was a tighter fit.

As he prepared his salad, looking around the table while he did, he had a sudden and perhaps a little overwhelming curiosity over how it would be possible to eat at a table big enough for fifteen, or sixteen including Sam. His mind ran through a series of images of old time dining rooms of stately lords and dinner parties. He could just imagine the chaos of everyone having to pass items around or shouting down the table, which no doubt the kids would do at some point. It… was both terrifying and intriguing.

"This looks and smells delicious," Tony said, interrupting his thoughts. He looked to see Tony placing some of the ziti on his plate.

"Dad's an excellent cook," Jane supplied with a smile.

Tony tilted his head. "He is? Are you just the complete package, Dr. Banner?"

Bruce gave an embarrassed chuckle and ducked his head. "I don't know about excellent. And, no, I have my character flaws. Believe me. Don't ever get me drunk," he said as an afterthought, eyes widening when he realized what he had said. He looked up at Tony in slight horror, but Tony's face wasn't judgmental or horrified.

"No need to explain. I think I can guess what you're getting at," Tony said with a hitch of his shoulder. "And for the record, I have a temper too. I can be pretty tenacious in a board room. And don't even think about messing with my kids or anyone I care about for that matter. It won't end well."

Bruce smiled wanly at that. "Yeah, I think we're both the same there." He didn't add that he had used to lose his temper over much less important things in the past and that sometimes the temptation was still there, like a mocking reminder of the horrible example his father had set for him.

His smile must have turned into a frown, reflecting his self-deprecating thoughts because he caught a glimpse of Tony's concerned expression before the billionaire looked at Steve in an obvious effort to change the subject.

"I hear you run track, Steve," Tony said.

"I do," Steve replied. "Fastest in the state," he said proudly before taking a bite of his salad.

"Awesome. I have guardianship over my best friend's son, Sam and he holds a few track records so you two would probably get along."

"Oh?" was Steve's only response, but Bruce could hear the genuineness of it.

"Yeah. Or you could put him through the paces and he'd resent you," Tony added jokingly. "Nah, he's a good kid. He has a lot of respect for other people if he thinks they deserve it."

"He's really nice," Jane added. "And funny."

"He is," Tony agreed. "Also, my son Pietro is gearing up to be a pretty good track star himself when he gets to high school." He paused. "Or maybe a race car driver. I swear, that kid never sits still and I'm not even sure they've invented a modem of transportation fast enough for him. I think somehow he inherited my adrenaline addiction," he said and Bruce knew there was an unspoken, even though he isn't my biological son. He had to admit it was strange how that worked out. He could see glimpses of himself in his adopted children in spite of the lack of genetics. It was what convinced him they were meant to be his children regardless of parentage. "He's also big into surfing right now. What about you, Thor? Not to make a blanket assumption here, but you look like you'd be right at home on a surfboard."

Bruce looked over at his son to see the way his face twitched slightly before spreading into a sad sort of smile. "I surfed a few times with my father when I was younger, when we sometimes visited our aunt, uncle and cousin in California. The summer Natasha came to live with us was the last time. It was fun and sometimes I wish I could have learned more."

"You surf?" Tony looked at Bruce curiously.

"Not in ages like Thor said, but a little," he answered with a thin smile.

"Huh. Well, Thor, I guess when you come to New York you'll have to check out the surf. My son has an excellent instructor," Tony suggested and Bruce watched as Thor's smile widened at the prospect.

"That sounds amazing."

Conversation was paused for a moment and they ate in silence.

"This really is delicious," Tony broke the silence again. "I've had to learn the basics of how to cook. With some, uh, helpful tips from the private chef I have on hire for when I'm away or I need to throw the occasional dinner party. And I got some help from my butler Jarvis when I was a kid," Tony explained a little sheepishly. "There's also my son Clint. He's a big help. He picked up on the cooking instruction from our chef faster than I did so sometimes I don't even bother with the private chef when I'm away anymore. Like tonight, he's got it covered."

"You talk a lot," Jemma said observationally and Bruce's eyes widened.

"Yes, that's definitely something I do," Tony said with an easy laugh.

"That's interesting," Natasha narrowed her eyes beside Bruce, "because dad isn't exactly verbose."

"I… uh…" Bruce furrowed his brow. "I don't exactly ramble, no, but I'm not strictly the silent type either," he said a little defensively. "I like to think of it as talking when it matters about the things that matter or, or when I'm in the mood to talk." He looked around at his older kids and the considering looks they were giving each other.

"And he could talk for days about you guys," Tony offered helpfully and Bruce met his supportive gaze, relishing in it a little. "But you know what they say about opposites," he then added with a small smile.

"They attract," Jemma supplied with a grin.

Tony smiled wider. "That they do. Not that we're polar opposites though."

"No," Bruce agreed. "But enough to keep it interesting," he said with a quirk of his lips.

"Not to interrupt this sappy moment between clandestine souls," Loki drawled somewhat sardonically and Bruce frowned at him. "Peter has a jar of spiders under the table."

"Snitch!" Peter shouted as Bruce's eyes widened in dread.

"Peter?" He gave him a stern look. The boy huffed and lifted up a glass jar full of garden variety spiders.

"Ewwwwww!" Jemma shrieked.

"I can't look," Jane said and shielded her eyes with her hand.

"Yeah that's really gross, Pete," Steve said with a disgusted look.

Meanwhile Thor and Natasha chuckled and Bruce tried to school his conflicting emotions so as not to create a further scene. However to his surprise Tony started laughing. He looked at him strangely.

"I was starting to worry I'm a horrible father or something as good as your kids were being," Tony said between laughs. "But it's good to see your kids are still just kids when push comes to shove," he said shaking his head. "Here, let me see your spiders, Petey," he then said, more surprisingly, and Peter offered the jar over. "You know, you shouldn't take these guys from their natural habitat unless you have a purpose for them. Planning on experimenting on them?" He asked teasingly and Peter looked horrified at the notion. "These guys belong in the garden, helping the eco-system and keeping pests from raiding your kitchen," Tony explained breezily before handing the jar back to Peter.

"And they most, most definitely do not belong in the house or at the dinner table," Bruce finally admonished. "I was lenient with the class pet, but that was different. I don't want you just scooping up spiders and bringing them in, Peter."

"You afraid of spiders?" Tony asked with a small smirk.

"Not objectively," Bruce replied. "But I'm not in love with them either. And I'd prefer they stay in their natural habitat."

Tony didn't push the issue, just nodded. Then he stood and pushed back from the table. "Well, Peter, you heard your dad. Why don't we go release these little guys into the wild? Hmm? It'll be fun. Just like Free Willy. With lots of legs and no touching Michael Jackson ballad in the background." Bruce laughed at the notion.

"What's Free Willy?" Peter asked dubiously as he stood as well.

"What's Free…?" Tony looked at Bruce. "We're going to have to share with him the wonder that is Free Willy, Bruce," he said with an amusing amount of conviction before following Peter outside.

"Alright, dad," Natasha said after Tony was gone. "I have to admit. He's a keeper."

The rest of the meal went more smoothly, with Tony prompting Bruce's kids with more conversation about themselves and their interests. Bruce wasn't only pleasantly surprised by the way Tony seemed to get them each to open up in their own way, like it was a natural gift he possessed, he was also surprised to learn a few things about his own kids in the process. He'd no idea that Loki had wanted for some years to learn horseback riding or that Steve was starting to feel torn between the military as an actual career and his passion for art.

After dinner they played a game of Pictionary and then as the evening wound down and Tony was clearly lingering, the billionaire joined him outside in the dying sunlight. Peter and Jemma were playing with Hulk as usual, though Jane was as well, and James had showed up for a little bit to hang out with Steve, Natasha and Thor. Only Loki was doing his loner act inside the house, having picked up Around the World in Eighty Days to read.

"This is nice," Tony said conversationally from where he sat on the stoop beside him and Bruce couldn't agree more.

It felt companionable and, well, right. It was maybe a little scary how right it already felt. He wondered if it felt right to Tony or if it would feel just as right when he went to meet Tony's kids… which he hoped was in the near future since the night had gone well in spite of his trepidation.

"You even have a dog," Tony then said after a moment with a smile. "I'm not surprised. You seem like a dog person."

"I am, yeah," Bruce replied. "But we couldn't really afford one until recently. Are you not a dog person?"

"I have six spoiled rotten kids," Tony answered that with a laugh. "It's not an issue of being a dog person. It's an issue of Clint found a stray dog and next thing you know we have a dog, two cats, an aquarium and a rat. And I guess a horse too," he tacked on in a thoughtful tone.

Bruce laughed and raised an eyebrow. "A rat?"

"Yeah, that's Harley's," Tony replied. There was silence for a few moments again. "So uh…" Tony started tentatively, turning his head.

Bruce turned his as well, curious about what Tony might say, but they both froze. Or at least, Bruce knew he did. Then before Bruce could find his voice to ask Tony what he wanted to say, they were lost in a kiss instead. It was the kind of kiss that Bruce had forgotten could exist and never had he imagined it could happen so early on. It was a kiss that was warm with that unique blend of familiarity and desire. It was the kind of kiss that felt right because you were so familiar with the person that you wanted and you had the reassurance that the person you were kissing was yours to kiss without reason. It was a different kind of spark and just as overwhelming to Bruce's senses because a small part of him worried that he was the one jumping the gun and feeling things that Tony didn't. He didn't want to make Tony feel uncomfortable and he knew there were still so many hurdles in their potential relationship that thinking about this kind of intimacy was risky.

Still, Bruce sighed slightly as they pulled apart and at the sound of it Tony chased his lips for a few more quick kisses before settling back again.

"This still feels right… Right?" Tony asked after a moment, echoing his sentiment from the last date.

"Yeah, it does," Bruce murmured.

"Good. That's… that's great. Because, I'd like to really take a serious go at this," Tony continued hesitantly, like he was afraid of the consequences of admitting it, "but I know that still entails my side of the coin. The… The billionaire, mansion, fancy galas, rich politics, inevitable media involvement side of the coin," he said in a long breath before exhaling. "It's a lot and on the one hand, I kind of want to just preserve this, this easy thing we've had going so far, but on the other if you're interested in really turning this into a relationship like I am already, I'm wondering if maybe it's better to give you a taste of that so you can decide for yourself if you're really into that… or interested in me enough to put up with that." The entire time he was rambling nervously, he was gesticulating with his hands and at the last they fell against his lap with a soft slap.

Bruce pursed his lips as he considered Tony's point. His head – or maybe it was his heart – was screaming yes, yes of course I want more of this. But Tony made a good point. It was one of the hurdles in their relationship. It was one thing with Tony making the effort to come to him, to come into his small world. It might be another thing entirely for Bruce – awkward, frumpy, introverted, only mildly interesting Bruce as he would describe himself – to try and go into Tony's world. It wasn't even that he found the glamour unappealing. He was only human after all in spite of his philanthropic or liberal leanings. But the fact remained that slumming and hob-nobbing were two different things and the transition was often harder on the person who had to adapt up rather than down. He'd seen enough rich politics just at university functions or military functions where there was a divide between those who did the job and those who had the real power.

"I think you're right," Bruce finally said once his thoughts had run their course. "I… I still really want to see where this goes and, yeah, more seriously. I think maybe the sooner I meet your kids and see your world the better. Maybe full speed ahead makes sense in our case. I should probably know what I'm getting into, but you should also probably know what you're getting into," he tried to explain. "You're essentially slumming," he said with a small laugh. "And you might find out I can't really be the person you need me to be."

Bruce met Tony's gaze. It was dark and serious. "I very seriously doubt that," he said with conviction that made Bruce's hair stand slightly on end in the best kind of way. "But okay," his tone and features softened. "I was thinking, and you can say no if you want and we'll wait until the next thing, but next Friday is my birthday. I'm spending it with my kids of course. But Saturday SI is having the annual Tony Stark Birthday Charity Gala in honor of that. It's ridiculous, I know, but if it gets a bunch of stuffed shirts to donate to the charities I care most about just for the sake of propriety, I'm kind of okay with it." He shrugged and once again Bruce mused about the ways of the rich. "I was thinking you can either come Friday night to celebrate and meet my kids and then do the gala with me on Saturday. You could stay in a guest bedroom by the way," he clarified quickly. "Or you can come early Saturday and spend the afternoon with the kids and then we can go to the gala that night. It usually runs a little late so you might not want to go back until Sunday morning. I'll have my plane fly you there and back, not a problem."

Bruce gave a small sigh. "I'll have to think about it. I'll let you know Monday," he said noncommittally for the time being. "But I think the Saturday option would be best. I think you should spend your birthday with just your kids instead of making it an awkward meet the… well, whatever you want to call me at this point I guess," he finished uncertainly with a hitch of his shoulder.

"Potential boyfriend?" Tony suggested.

"You don't think boyfriend sounds… juvenile?" Bruce queried. Maybe it was because he heard Natasha say the word so often now and he had been a good few years younger himself since he'd last had one.

"Not really." Tony shrugged. "Fair warning, that's what some of the press will call you eventually… I hope," Tony added with a smile. "Aside from the crasser publications, once they realize it's serious you'll hear lots of terms like new flame, partner, so on and so forth. But if you were a woman, the media would in most instances go straight to girlfriend after enough public dates to affirm the seriousness of the relationship. And, honestly, I wouldn't hesitate to call you my girlfriend regardless of our age. You have to admit, nobody blinks twice at that word. But if you're uncomfortable with the word boyfriend we'll find something else. It's really not make or break," he hedged in a genuine tone.

"Huh. That's actually a reasonable argument. And very insightful regarding internalized language patterns." Bruce raised a playful eyebrow, even if he was impressed.

"You sound surprised," Tony said with a laugh. "I was married to a very strong woman. And I have a teenage daughter and my COO is Pepper Potts if you haven't heard of her. Trust me, I've been brought up to speed between them and having an understanding of how the media works by."

Bruce nodded, momentarily considered Tony's offer to find a different word, and then gave him a thin smile. "I think boyfriend sounds nice," he said hopefully.

"Two things I should probably warn you about tonight," Tony said as he drove Bruce toward his home. "One, I can promise you that everything about it is going to be overwhelming. Flashing lights, obnoxious people, mindless mingling, questions about your relationship to me, and so on. So if you ever just need to take a breather, yank on my arm and we'll figure it out. It'll be a little harder for you than other guests since, well, you're my date and I'm the guest of honor. Shrinking into the background is a little more difficult, but I've navigated the scene long enough to know how to step away when I need to." He glanced over to see if Bruce was still with him or if he was contemplating throwing himself from the Audi convertible. "The other thing… I'm not exactly the same person when I'm at these things. I mean, when it's just you and me, I'll still be, uh, me. But if I come across a little more, well, tailored it's because I can't exactly help it."

"I think I get it," Bruce offered, maybe sensing his nervousness regarding the subject. "You're a media presence at these kinds of things. It's a bit of an act that you have to put on?"

Tony gave a big sigh and nodded. "Yeah, that. And I haven't really been to one of these things with, well, anyone besides my COO and her husband, who's head of security, since… Well, since Maya. None of my past dating attempts got that far. I mean I take my kids at Christmas, but that's different. So I might be a little rusty at the part with having someone actually there with me. Apologies in advance so, really, just tell me or give me a pinch or something if it's too much."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Bruce said simply as they pulled up into the long driveway. "This… Wow. Actually, this might be more intimidating," Bruce said and Tony glanced over to see his eyes wide and taking in the property.

"Yeah, home sweet home," Tony replied with a soft laugh. "But I promise it's no different than yours. I mean, not really. Still filled with love and bickering kids. And you know, you'd think that with all the space they'd managed to find a way to just avoid one another if it was a problem."

Bruce laughed openly. "Yeah, well, where would the fun in that be?"

"True," Tony said in amusement. He put the car in park along the cul-de-sac in front of the main entrance for the time being. One of his drivers, because yes it paid to have personal chauffeurs, would handle it. "Well, here we are, Dr. Banner," Tony said then, with no small amount of trepidation, before getting out of the car.

Bruce grabbed his overnight bag and followed him into the house. Tony watched as his eyes widened yet again on the inside. "I think… I think it might take the whole day if you were planning on giving me a tour," Bruce said in humor and looked at Tony.

"It might," Tony indulged with a smile. "You can just set your bag on the floor for now if you'd like." He gestured to the foyer around them. Bruce shrugged and did so. "Hey, JARVIS, say hello to Dr. Banner."

Hello, Dr. Banner.

"Dr. Banner, my AI, JARVIS."

"Um… wow." Bruce looked around. "Even if I knew about him that's a little unexpected. But still completely brilliant." He sounded awed and Tony smiled. "Hello to you too, JARVIS," he then said and Tony's smile widened.

I hope you enjoy your visit. And may I say I do wish yourself and Mr. Stark the best of luck.

"He…" Bruce pointed. "Did you…?" Tony shook his head, smirking. "So you really have effectively created Skynet. That's… reassuring," he deadpanned. "But, really, that's amazing. He's amazing. Definitely your greatest achievement besides your kids," he said with a smile that maybe made Tony a little fluttery.

Thank you, Dr. Banner.

"He takes a little getting used to, but I had a feeling you'd appreciate him," Tony said. "Hey, J, are the kids hiding? Assemble the team pronto."

Bruce chuckled and walked over to him. "Assemble the team?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "That's pretty adorable."

"You're adorable," Tony teased.

"Oh, I am?"

"Definitely." Tony nodded and pecked him on the lips.

"Well adorable knows adorable," Bruce replied with a hitch of his shoulder and then kissed him, lingering a little longer than a just a peck. "I got you a birthday present, by the way. It's in my bag."

"You really didn't have to," Tony countered.

"I know," Bruce said. "I wanted to. Besides, you've gotten me flowers and a book. I think there should be some reciprocation. And it's not anything spectacular," he warned as he walked over to his bag and opened it.

Tony watched curiously as Bruce pulled out whatever it was. "Wrapped and everything?" Tony quirked a brow as he allowed Bruce to hand him the package. He carefully pulled off the wrapping and found a small book titled The Garden at Eichstatt. It had a flower on the cover and the pages inside were filled with reproductions of the plates from Hortus Eystettensis. "You… I get it," he said with a soft laugh and looked up to see Bruce's expression was set between wry and tentative. "I got you flowers and a book so you got me a book on flowers. You really are a troll aren't you?"

"Hope you like it regardless," Bruce said, shrugging. "It's not the full edition. That's a little bit out of my price range for a single gift, sorry."

"Don't be," Tony urged. "This is great. It seems fitting."

"I hoped it would be a nice sentiment," Bruce said with a lopsided smile. "Not exactly practical, but... Then again neither are we."

Tony smiled. "That we are not," he said. "But I think I'm starting to like that about us," he admitted and kissed Bruce one more time before they were interrupted by a slew of kids at once. He had a strong feeling they had been hiding out somewhere they could spy on them before making their entrance.

Tony gave Bruce a playfully warning look before grabbing his hand and pulling him over towards the 'assembly' area, although very few of the kids were actually sitting. Most of them were standing around watching and waiting.

"Hey again, Dr. Banner," Sam said with a nod of his head toward the physicist.

"Hi, Sam," Bruce said in return. "Good to see you again. You too, Skye."

"Ditto, Dr. B," Skye said casually and came over with a curious glance at the book. "What's this?"

"Birthday present," Tony told her and handed her the book. "From Bruce so be careful with it," he warned, although he trusted her and was mostly joking. She hummed in a considering fashion and plopped down on the couch and started looking at it with Sam since they'd already met Bruce. The other kids, however, were still clearly on their toes for the formal introduction.

Tony took a deep breath.

"Alright, kids. Introduce yourselves to Dr. Banner. Not all at once though. If I tried to make them go in any particular order like your kids did, it probably wouldn't work," he then mumbled under his breath to Bruce, who just smiled knowingly.

Tony wasn't surprised when Clint came forward first as very little fazed him and he was quick to step up to the plate on things in order to assess them for himself.

"Hello, Dr. Banner. I'm Clint. I'm the oldest. Should probably tell you up front I can't really hear out of my left ear without a hearing aid," he introduced himself in a clipped tone. "My mom was a hell of a woman so, no offense, you'd better be amazing. But dad said you've read my mom's work so that's a point in your favor. Seven kids though," he whistled. "I'd say my dad knows what he's doing, but…"

Bruce laughed slightly and held out his hand. Clint shook it. "No, I understand. I'm pretty convinced your dad and I are certifiable at this point. And, hey, look. I'm not trying to replace your mom. I'd like to make that clear right now. One, I'm a man, so I'd appreciate it if nobody called me mom," he said jokingly. "And, two, I really wouldn't want to replace her anyway if I wasn't a man. But I hope we can be friends."

"Good answer," Clint said plainly and Tony bit down on a groan. "And you're funny. This could work. Still crazy, but we'll see."

"Okay, okay," Tony shooed him away.

"I like his honesty," Bruce commented.

Tony was equally unsurprised when Wanda stepped forward next, dragging Pietro with her. He gave a soft laugh.

"I’m Wanda and I think I'm psychic." That Tony was surprised by.

"Um, okay, that's neat," Bruce stammered a little and Tony felt a little bad for him if not slightly amused at his being put on the spot. "So is it a latent power or did you develop it? Freak accident maybe?"

Wanda's mouth moved upward into a thin smile. "I knew somebody else existed for my dad. And I told him so right before he met you."

"Oh wow," Tony said, blinking. "She's actually right. I mean, well, something like that. Out of nowhere she started quizzing me on if I would find anyone special again. The timing is a bit odd."

Bruce gave him a curious glance, but seemed to take it in stride. "Well, then," he said looking at Wanda, "can't argue with premonition. I won't take that kind of responsibility lightly," he assured her.

"I like you so far," Wanda then said before nudging her brother. "Pietro, your turn. This is my twin."

"I'm Pietro," the boy said dutifully and Tony shook his head in amusement at their unique twin bond. "I don't know what else to say." He then shrugged.

Bruce gave a wide smile and held out his hand for Pietro to shake. "That's fine, Pietro. I'm sure there's plenty we can talk about later when you feel like it," Bruce reassured him. "It's nice to meet both of you." Tony saw the relief on Pietro's face at not having to be put on the spot right before he and Wanda went over to the couch.

"You have glasses," Darcy said before anything else when she came over next.

Bruce nodded. "I do."

"And doesn't he look absolutely ravishing in them?" Tony said, partly to reassure his daughter and then partly because he had already developed a bit of a thing for Bruce in his glasses.

"Oh, dad, please don't," Skye chirped, clearly reading his double meaning. "I mean, don't do the whole weird boyfriend thing at least until the guy's been here enough times he might as well move in," she suggested.

"Move in?" Bruce asked under his breath with a small choke.

"I don't know where she got that idea," Tony quickly clarified. "I've never mentioned that. Ever. I mean…" He cleared his throat and willed his mind not to get carried away. "Uh, yeah, so, this is Darcy."

"Oh, right. I'm Darcy," she said then. "And I just got glasses and I hate them. I'd rather have contacts."

"I'm sure you look great in your glasses, Darcy," Bruce said gently. "But I get kids can be mean. My son Peter has glasses too. And just think, when you're old enough to have contacts then you'll have fashion options. Sometimes glasses make the outfit," he said with a wink and her eyes widened in obvious consideration. "And I'm sure your dad can afford multiple frames," Bruce gave him a sideways glance, "which gives you even more options. You should look up fashionistas or celebrities who wear glasses if you don't believe me."

"JARVIS, search fashionistas and celebrities who wear glasses and send the results to my tablet," Darcy said, sounding suddenly hopeful. "Thanks, Dr. Banner. I hope you're right."

"I hope so too," Tony said honestly, looking at Bruce in slight awe. "You're a genius. That's the first time she's even remotely responded positively to the idea of wearing glasses."

"Well, I might have a slight advantage over you," he replied, tapping against his own glasses.

"A very attractive advantage," Tony said.

"Heard that," Skye retorted.

"Don't care," Tony countered breezily.

"Guess that leaves me," Harley said, interrupting them.

"Jeez, kiddo. Show a little bit of enthusiasm," Tony said, with a playful swipe through his son's hair.

Harley plastered on an obnoxiously fake smile. "Guess that leaves me!"

"Oh, so you're the ornery one in the bunch?" Bruce asked dryly, guessing the right approach like the cleverly insightful parent he was – in Tony's opinion at least.

Harley's smile turned impish, but at least it was genuine now. "Yep. Got suspended and everything."

Tony groaned. "He seems to think he's my rebel black sheep now or something."

"Well, suspension does have a way of going to a person's head," Bruce deadpanned. "It could be touch and go from here on out," he warned melodramatically.

"You're not so bad I guess," Harley then said with a tilt of his head. "I don't get why my dad needs anyone, but I guess you're not so bad."

"Thank you for that vote of confidence," Bruce said with a small huff of laughter.

"Alright." Tony clapped his hands together. "Now that we've gotten introductions taken care of, what activity did everyone agree on while I was gone?" He had asked the children to pick an activity or two that they all could do together.

"Bowling," Skye answered as she closed the book Bruce had given Tony. "We settled on bowling."

The kids got up and headed for the recreational room.

Tony saw the look Bruce gave him, forehead pulled into a crease between his eyes. "You have a bowling alley… in the house?"

"We have everything in this house," Clint said as he passed directly between them.

"Well, not everything," Tony disagreed. "But we do have a recreational room that has a two lane bowling alley. Completely indulgent, I'll admit."

Bruce followed them to the recreational room and his disbelief only grew as he looked around in a daze. "This isn't a rec room, Tony. This is like…" His sentence trailed and he shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah." Tony nodded. It was true that it wasn't a small rec room. It spanned an entire wing of the house along the backside of the mansion and had a pool table, foosball, table tennis, arcade games, the bowling alley, an area for video gaming, the mini kitchen and even a half court for basketball. "I essentially wanted to create an indulgent man cave when redesigning the home and it turned into a kid's dream come true," he explained with a laugh.

"Again, can't argue with premonition," Bruce said in response, though he still sounded like he couldn't believe it. "Wait… What's that room over there?" Bruce pointed and Tony followed with a smile as he headed toward another large room off the recreational area.

The room was slightly raised, requiring two steps at the doorway and once there Bruce appeared to be suddenly broken. It was a large theater room, complete with a large projection screen – Tony had actually upgraded it to HD so it wasn't the original screen – a popcorn maker, theater style chairs along the back on a slightly elevated platform as well as a long couch below and plenty of space on the floor for lounging in front. The walls were decorated with theater sconces and movie posters.

"Uh, too much?" Tony asked with a laugh. "Am I scaring you off?"

"I honestly don't know," Bruce answered. "It's a lot to take in. I knew your home would be bit but… This is more than I fathomed and this isn't even the half of it, is it?" Bruce turned to look at him with a raised brow.

"It's the most used part of the house," Tony began pointedly. "But recreationally speaking we also have a home gym, mostly because I love to box, um, an indoor pool, a library, a more normal living area since watching regular television on this thing is a little excessive even for me," he nodded toward the large screen, "and there might be a workshop in the basement with easy access to the garage since I like to keep all my toys in the same general area. Oh and also a home lab." He got a small thrill when Bruce's eyebrows shot up at that last prospect.

"So essentially you dragged me to Candy-land," Bruce said looking around again.

"You think this is something, wait until you see what you'll be working with in the R&D floors at Stark Tower," Tony said with a smile as they left the theater room and finally made their way over to join his kids at the two bowling lanes.

"Well, if it's more spectacular than this, I might just actually have an or… uh…" Bruce seemed to check himself and flushed slightly, ducking his head. "Nevermind."

"Never be ashamed to admit defeat to the seductive power of science, Bruce," Tony guessed what he was going to say and laughed slightly. "It happens to the best of us."