Taking Chances
After their dinner in Tony's suite on Thursday night, the rest of the weekend followed with the two men and their charges becoming inseparable. Bruce wasn't sure if he hadn't stepped into an alternate universe because this didn't seem like it could be his life.
He also wasn't sure if it was his own attraction playing tricks on his mind, but there were moments he almost believed that the attraction wasn't one-sided as crazy as it seemed. He knew it was foolish and even if it were true he and Tony just couldn't be together with all the obstacles between them, but Bruce started keeping a mental list of things that made him give pause. He felt a little juvenile for doing so, but he told himself that it was just what scientists were supposed to do when faced with a conundrum.
There was the simple fact that he and Tony fell into each others' space so easily, so naturally. He wasn't sure if Tony was a tactile person or if he was only tactile with people he liked and trusted. At the very least if it was the latter it meant he and Tony had already become good enough friends for Tony to be willing touch him. There were brushes of their fingers and hands and shoulders and arms. Tony would throw an arm around his shoulder casually as they walked or stood talking to other people at the conference. Tony would grab his shoulder. Tony even pinched him in the side once jokingly. Bruce wasn't sure if he was starved for touch from someone his own age, excluding friendly gestures from Betty or Leonard, since it had been so long. He wasn't sure if that lack of intimacy with someone he was attracted to was causing him to overreact, but it felt damn good and there were times he was dangerously close to seeking out those touches. He also found himself tentatively reciprocating – tentatively because he wasn't sure if he could trust himself not to make it blindingly obvious that he was attracted to Tony.
On Friday, Tony sat in on all three of Bruce's lectures to the point that Bruce had to stop and consider it for the list. After all, it didn't make sense for Tony to listen to the same basic outline of information that Bruce was certain he could already quote back to him verbatim. In fact, he and Tony discussed his lecture in length at lunch between lectures that day, so he knew that Tony had already taken his research and was running down breathtaking paths in his own mind.
That simple discussion was the collaboration that Bruce had just known would be beautiful, the collaboration he thought he would never get to experience. And it was that promise of further collaboration and perhaps the fact that Tony blurted eagerly, "Finally somebody who speaks English!" that caused Bruce to blurt out what he had still been keeping to himself, "I want to work for you." And that was that.
But if Bruce had then temporarily wondered if Tony had been sitting in on his lectures to pursue his potential employment diligently, Tony quickly proved that theory wrong on Saturday morning when they ran into Reed again. Tony had asked Reed if he'd sat in on the lecture yet, and of course he hadn't - Bruce wasn't entirely surprised, and Tony had looked horrified and indignant both for about thirty seconds. Then, with a very obviously fake smile - it looked to Bruce like he had just become a shark that had spotted an easy target - Tony told Reed that he owed it to everyone at the conference to sit in on the lecture because if the Reed Richards attended it others would follow suit and be enlightened. Bruce wasn't sure if he gaped more at Tony complimenting Reed to get such a thing to happen or the fact that Reed actually bought it and the lecture hall was packed to the brim.
On Friday night, Tony had treated him and Jane to dinner again with Skye and Sam, only this time dinner out on the town. It had mostly been spent listening to the kids go on and on about the day, but that had maybe made it more intimate. And, again, whether or not it was in his mind it seemed like Tony kept giving him looks that felt intimate somehow. Tony would smile and his eyes would dance at every small joke Bruce made – not that Bruce didn't return the favor because Tony was the kind of amusing that settled down deep under your skin and just made you feel like you couldn't escape being smitten. When Bruce would take genuine interest in Skye or Sam, Tony would look at him with intense brown like he found it as attractive as Bruce found it when Tony did the same with Jane. Bruce even felt at a few points that Tony was admiring his looks and that was… weird. That was probably in his mind. Then again, Tony had made it a point to tell him that he couldn't decide if he liked him better with two eyes or four and once again he had a gleam in his eyes that made Bruce squirm.
Also at dinner that night Bruce learned that Tony had a quirk about being handed things. He made exceptions for certain people he felt he could trust and for children, but otherwise he would outright refuse or else feel slightly violated over it afterwards. Bruce had found this out when he unwittingly handed him an extra spoon that he didn't need for his own meal. Tony had accepted it and Skye and Sam had practically gasped loud enough that all of Germany heard it, startling him and Jane both.
"Dad, he just handed you something," Skye had said.
"Do we need to go through the coping mechanisms?" Sam had asked in genuine concern.
Tony had blinked several times and then smiled brilliantly. "Bruce is an exception," he had said. The explanation that was clearly in order had then followed.
Bruce was an exception and he didn't know what to do with that. Were they simply two strangers that had found a connection and were destined to be friends? Was Bruce okay with that even when he told himself over and over that he was being ridiculous because friendship was all there ever could be if they had thirteen kids between them and came from two different worlds. Bruce didn't want to make Tony feel uncomfortable or lose that newfound friendship, but he couldn't help but wonder if Tony felt the ridiculous things he felt or maybe the proper word was hope. Maybe he hoped Tony did.
As Tony sat with Bruce at the honors dinner on Saturday night he couldn't help but hate that it was Saturday night. Soon the strangely perfect little bubble that he'd been living in over the past three days would burst. Sure, Bruce wanted to come work for Stark Industries, but until then the physicist would fly home to Virginia and Tony was a little afraid that he would wake up and find that the entire thing had been a dream.
Maybe it was all in his mind, but it was like Bruce spoke his language and it had been so long. He had never counted on anyone ever being able to speak his language like this again. There were even moments, when Tony was being honest and no matter how much he had loved Maya, Bruce got things that Maya hadn't; of course, he was more than willing to point out the things that Maya had understood more than Bruce so maybe it evened out.
"How many honors can they give him?" Tony commented to Bruce, trying to take his mind off of his conflicted thoughts.
Bruce chuckled. "Have you been to the Baxter Building? I'm pretty sure he's got an entire hallway devoted to his," he air quoted, "'fantastic' achievements." Then he sighed. "I swear, I respect him I really do, but there are so many people with things they can contribute to the community that go without notice."
"Like you," Tony pointed out. Although Bruce looked a little sheepish he had the decency, or hopefully enough self-awareness, to smile gratefully and not protest the genuine compliment. "We'll have to change that," he said further.
That Bruce did respond to with a small furrow of his brow. "What did you have in mind?"
Tony smiled. "Well, you're coming to work for me and I've decided it's time for me to stop being awol at these things. So I think if we put my resources behind your ideas, if you have any, we can really change the world. And while it's not about the accolades, well, not entirely," he hedged because some ego was healthy in his opinion, "maybe then you'll get the honor you're clearly overdue."
Bruce ducked his head. "You seem pretty certain. You haven't even heard any of my ideas outside of clean energy and the general uses of gamma. You're already ahead of me in terms of deserving honor in the clean energy department. There's the cellular repair, but I think it's pretty obvious it's just a little beyond us for the time being and presents ethical dilemmas."
"Well, then, what are some other things you're interested in? I have a good memory, obviously," he smirked playfully, "and seem to recall you mentioning that your work wouldn't get funded. That implies that you have ideas. And statistically speaking, I'm willing to bet that they can't all be about clean energy, gamma and cellular repair." He studied the man for his reaction.
There was a tell-tale expression of being put on the spot that Tony read as his being right before Bruce's phone went off and he looked down at it. A smile spread across the physicist's face and Tony found himself curious about this new development as Bruce quickly fiddled with his phone.
"Sorry," he said when he seemed to remember his manners. "Just a video my daughter sent me of her ballet recital. I can watch it later. Where were we?"
"We were in the middle of your incessant bragging about all of your amazing ideas." Bruce smiled thinly and shook his head. "But, hey, that's more important." Tony pointed to the phone. "Here, email it to me and you can view it properly on my phone's holographic screen," he insisted. "Don't worry, I'll delete it right after."
Bruce's mouth opened slightly, but then he closed it with a chuckle as he began a new email on his phone. "You just want my email address."
"You're not wrong," Tony said easily.
He wanted that and so much more. There was no point left in denying it.
Bruce didn't typically talk about himself to this extent, or talk to this extent in general unless it was with his kids or lecturing to his students, but Tony brought out the conversationalist in him and seemed so genuinely interested in his ideas that he couldn't stop.
Then again maybe it was because he didn't want the night to end because when the night ended he would go back to being whatever the modern grown man equivalent of Cinderella was. The past three days he had felt like the peasant at the palace with the prince and the prince had indeed turned out to be charming. But the clock was about to strike midnight and Tony would leave for New York and maybe things wouldn't be the same when Bruce came to work for him.
The minutes were ticking by to that proverbial ringing of the clock. The kids were already back in their respective hotel suites and packing for the trip home; they had attended a smaller dinner held for the junior conference attendees in a part of the hotel's restaurant and had checked in with them. The honorees dinner was already ended. He and Tony were already making their own way slow as could be to their suites, detouring here and there just to talk - like the long hour lost in the hotel lobby talking about some of the ideas they'd seen and heard at the conference.
As long as it was just the two of them, as long as Bruce kept talking even if about himself, as long as they lingered, maybe they could suspend time.
Of course, they could only suspend it for so long and eventually they couldn't go on pretending they didn't have to prepare to leave.
"So obviously in 2001 wanting to get funding for research that would support any kind of ideology linked with Greenpeace got you looked at like you were one of those environmentalist extremists," Bruce explained when they finally made it to the elevator and waited for it. "And then after 9/11 it got even harder because everything else sort of took the backseat. That's why being a military scientist was an easier job to get. They were looking for anything against the war on terror."
Tony hummed. "Yeah, choosing to shut down our development of weapons in a post 9/11 world was seen by a lot of people like we were siding with the terrorists. It was a hard choice. I had my own doubts because I obviously love this country and want our troops kept safe. Hell, my best friend is in the military. I worry about him all the time."
Bruce nodded as the elevator door opened. "No, I understand. I'm not opposed to wanting to protect our country or supporting our troops. In fact, one of the main ideas behind cellular repair that I would love to see become a reality is the potential to protect people from radiation." He gesticulated broadly with his hands as he tried to explain the importance, perhaps needlessly as Tony probably already understood all of this. "Besides just cancer patients, think about the way it could protect civilians and soldiers from the fallout of modern warfare. Maybe we can't end war in our life time, but maybe we can lower the amount of casualties." He let his hands fall as he considered the possibility. "It's always been—"
"I feel like this would be a good point in the conversation to state for the record that I like both men and women."
Bruce stopped talking and his mouth hung open. He looked at Tony in slight confusion. "What? How is that…? That's not at all relevant to the conversation," Bruce said even as he swallowed hard at the sudden confirmation that Tony wasn't entirely off limits.
"It's actually very much entirely relevant to the conversation," Tony countered and took a step toward him in earnest.
Before Bruce could really grasp what was happening, the elevator seemed to close in around them drawing their lips together in a tentative brush. As their eyes were still opened, Bruce felt his widen and saw Tony's do the same. It had been a long time since he could honestly say he felt the cliché spark of electric chemicals that left him dizzy for more, but with just that small kiss his entire face felt numb and before he could think twice Tony was kissing him more firmly and he was responding.
It still started off slow and experimental; like the scientists they were it seemed that they needed to explore this unexpected shift in data. But like every experiment, there was a point when the chemicals began to react and what began as a slow burn turned into a need to push the limits further and see if the mixture would fizzle out or explode.
Suddenly they were kissing more openly, more hungrily. Tony snaked one hand around to the small of his back and pulled him closer and Bruce moved one of his own without thinking to clutch at Tony's shoulder, then neck, then through his hair before settling on cupping his face. As they devoured one another's lips and let their tongues join in, Bruce felt like his brain might short circuit. The feel of Tony's facial hair was a maddeningly pleasant scratch against his own stubble – he couldn't even recall at the moment the last man he had kissed with facial hair – and the warmth of Tony's musk, likely a very expensive cologne although there was something else there that he would like to make a study of until he could categorize it, was so heavenly that when he took his next breath in he couldn't help but moan at the combination of it all.
Of course, the moan startled him and, rather than short circuit, his brain yelled at him the details of exactly what he was doing. Bruce forced himself to pull away, panting and trying hard not to give into the bruised and delicious lips that chased after his at the break of contact.
"I've wanted to ask you out since we met," Tony admitted, eyes half-lidded and looking torn between focusing on Bruce's eyes and Bruce's lips.
"We shouldn't," Bruce whispered. Actually, whispered wasn't even the word for it as his voice sounded so cracked and ill-used from long-forgotten pleasure. "It's a bad idea," he said it even as his hand moved to perch on Tony's shoulder with no intention of pulling away completely.
"Doesn’t seem like a bad idea from where I’m standing," Tony replied and as if to prove a point captured Bruce's lips again, not that captured was the right word either since Bruce didn't put up much of a struggle.
Bruce had to admit that when standing in this position, it didn't seem like a bad idea. It rather felt like a magnum opus. Sparks continued to fly, but there was still that small voice in the back of his head warning him of the consequences of impending explosion and fallout. He practically whimpered to have to pull away again, but he didn't want to get used to kissing Tony if there was nothing for it in the end – especially not if he was going to work for the man.
"M'no… No, Tony. It is," he protested, shaking his head once as he did. "It couldn't work. It's… It would be like a time bomb, Tony."
"Time bomb?" Tony clearly wasn't in a state of mind to follow his round about reasoning.
"We're too different. You, you're rich and I'm not."
"I'm not classist."
"Let me finish," Bruce argued even as he fought down a fond thrill at Tony's flippancy. "And, the kids. Come on, you… You have to realize that's insane. We would be insane to try that. You're practically a celebrity and I… I swear, it's not that I'm bothered by that," he tried to explain when Tony pulled away a little as if offended. "I'm just thinking about your kids." Tony seemed equally shocked by that sentiment. "And you. And my kids too of course. That would be like asking for the media to harass you. They would treat it like some sort of freak show. A man like you doesn't just try to date a nobody physicist with seven kids of his own without some kind of consequence."
Tony didn't respond right away. Instead he pulled away and paced around the elevator car until it finally pinged open and they stepped out onto Bruce's floor of the hotel. Bruce briefly mused how long of an elevator ride that had felt like with time suspended while they kissed… Only to realize he shouldn't think about it because he was still in no state of mind to do so.
"I hate that you're right," Tony finally said with a low groan of displeasure. "Our kids would probably hate us for throwing them into that. You know, assuming it worked out," he hedged, but Bruce was still out of his mind enough with a buzz from their chemistry and the past few days of getting to know one another that he couldn't help but feel as though it could work out between them if under different circumstances.
"It's a very strong possibility," Bruce agreed vaguely instead.
Tony sighed and fixed him with such intense dark eyes that Bruce almost couldn't meet them. "I still want you to work for Stark Industries."
Bruce was surprised at how much of a relief that was now that he considered it. "I still want to work for Stark Industries," he replied honestly.
Tony's intense stare softened with a smile, but that was nearly just as bad. "And I'd still love to meet your kids sometime. Bring them by the tower for one of the tours if you'd like. They sound wonderful."
Bruce closed his eyes and nodded. "I'm sure they would love that. Well, Jane would at least. And maybe Peter and Jemma." He remained objective. This was for their kids' sake.
"Well, if I don't see you before you check out," Tony started and Bruce realized maybe that was for the best, saying goodbye like this for the time being, "tell Jane goodbye for me and that it was great meeting her. And her father," he added, extending a professional hand.
It felt cold and wrong, but logic prevailed and Bruce accepted the casual handshake. "Likewise. I'm sure Skye will show everyone a thing or two by the next junior conference."
Tony smiled and let go of his hand, quickly hitting the elevator button again. Bruce started down the hall. "Maybe next conference you and I can have a philanthropic project to unveil for the company," Tony said, sounding somewhat wistful, and Bruce stopped in his tracks.
He fought with himself before a surge of want overwhelmed him and he turned back quickly, to do what or say what he had no clue, but Tony had already disappeared in the elevator. The hall was suddenly very empty and Bruce's shoulders sagged with regret.
But it was still for the best, he reminded himself.
Tony hated the airport. He hated that even with a private jet he still had to go through the typical process of getting to said private jet that poor people did. Or maybe he had just had a horrible night's sleep before. Actually, that would be relevant if he had slept at all and he hadn't. Sometimes he could go for a few days without crashing when his insomnia flared up. This hadn't been one of those situations. This had been one of those toss and turn, hate everything, have flashbacks of gentle lips, ache for further touches that were never going to happen, empty stomach regret type situations. It was actually the first time he'd felt it in regards to someone who wasn't his late wife and that had only made the night drag on longer.
He wasn't sure how, but against all odds he'd finally found someone else that he wanted to try again with. True, the man had run away because of his kids, but it wasn't like the other times. It was because he himself already had a full house and didn't want anyone to get hurt. It was so endearing and thoughtful and smart that it made Tony want to try even harder. It told Tony that if there was any other person who could maybe stick around for a while and understand every single aspect of Tony's life, fame and fortune aside, it was Dr. Bruce Banner.
But he had let him go because it was smart. He had let him go because Bruce was right. And that made it all the more of a realization to him that Bruce was maybe different. He had listened to Bruce, taken his words into consideration. He hadn't just stood there arguing until he just infuriated the man. Of course, that didn't make him want to see Bruce again any less. He had listened once, yes, but when Tony figured out what he wanted, when his brain caught up to his heart, he went after it. It was why he'd stuck around with Maya even when she thought he was bluffing about being interested in something more and when his head was screaming at the dissonance of suddenly wanting to stick around.
All morning, Tony had glanced around the hotel, hoping that Bruce would be there and that they would maybe lock eyes like some horribly sappy movie that Happy liked to watch and that would be it. Bruce would realize just as much as he did that they both needed this. Of course, unlike those horribly sappy movies that Happy liked to watch, reality didn't work like that. There had been no sign of Bruce or Jane.
Tony had to rely on the promise of Bruce coming to work for Stark Industries. If there was still something between them when the time came, well, maybe Bruce would be easier to convince. But as much as he was a futurist, Tony was also a live in the moment kind of guy and in this moment he was wondering what if this had been it? What if something happened and Bruce didn't come to work for him? What if Bruce came to work for him, but the moment was lost?
"Hey look," Skye broke through his thoughts, "it's Jane and her dad."
Tony whipped his head around so quickly that Sam laughed a little. "Oh my god, you like him," the boy said in observation.
Tony looked hesitantly at Skye, gauging her reaction. "Seriously?" She looked at him incredulously.
"I… I might, yeah. A lot maybe," he admitted.
"And you haven't told him!? You're just going to let him go?" She continued to look at him like he'd grown a second head or maybe five. "You finally like somebody and you're not going to do anything about it?"
"I, uh… He has seven kids, Skye," Tony said quickly, scanning his eyes back and forth between where Bruce was disappearing into the crowd and Skye's exasperated expression.
"And you have six. We can start a reality show or have a movie made about us. Just go, dad!" Skye pushed him.
Honestly, it was the last nudge he needed. One kid's approval down, only five more to go. And a man with seven kids to convince, but he was going to give it his best shot. So he ran as fast as he could, pushing through the crowded terminal until he reached Bruce and his daughter at the end of their long boarding line.
"Tony?" Bruce looked at him, startled.
"I..." He started and took a few deep breaths, grateful his stamina wasn't worse off in spite of his age. "I know it's crazy. But I want to see you again. I have to see you again. Please. Just… I know you live in Virginia, but hey I'm filthy rich remember? I'll just fly down whenever you're available and we can have a proper date. Because I want to have at least one proper date with you. If… If you're interested, of course. But I kind of got the feeling you were. Please, Bruce. Just one. You know, unless you agree to more."
Throughout this entire speech, Tony watched as Bruce ducked his head and looked around at the people in line who were clearly staring at them. And then Bruce looked down at Jane, whose eyes were wide like she couldn't believe someone had just chased down her father like some convoluted movie, but both father and daughter were adorable so Tony didn't care if he'd made a fool of himself with his flair for the dramatic.
Tony glanced over to see the line was starting to move a little. He then looked back and placed a hand on one of the other man's shoulders. "I know you probably think I'm crazy right now, but I'm not the kind of guy who likes to sit around and think what if. I don't want to sit around two or three years from now and wonder what if it wasn't right the first time all those years ago when we didn't meet, but then it was right the second time only I missed out on you again… I mean, that's not something I want to live with. Do you?"
Bruce finally met his eyes and a small smile appeared on his face. "No, I guess not," he conceded. Bruce then took a deep breath. "Okay. I'll go on a date with you."
Tony hadn't felt this relieved in years and he smiled. "You won't regret it. I promise."
"Well, after a speech like that, I hope not," Bruce replied with a small, teasing laugh and Tony couldn't help himself. He used the hand still on Bruce's shoulder as leverage and captured Bruce's lips across the divider. Like their kiss before Tony felt sparks and he could tell Bruce felt them too by the way he relaxed into it immediately. "Alright, I believe you," the physicist said, sounding a little dazed, when they pulled apart. "Now I really have to go," he said when the line started moving again. "You can call me in a few days. Goodbye, Tony."
"Goodbye, Bruce. Bye, Jane," he added and the girl waved. He held up his hand and waved back.