Let her go
"Let her go" by Passenger.
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He spend his entire life letting go everything and everyone he loves.
First, he has to said goodbye to his father like a thousend times when he was growing up in the hard life of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent's son. Ironically, he ends being an Agent too.
It was early in the Academy when he set up his first belonging place, and his first someone to belong.
Melinda May was the first Agent in everything, top of the list always, and he was the geeky one, the tactical smartass. When they start to operate together, he feels like the sun was finally on his life, that girl was a challenge, but for him, she was a friend, a teacher and later, the best partner in life. Their first kiss was an urge, and he freaks out like a child, avoiding her for days. Until their common friends tease them without mercy, she was scared and her best friends never let her alone, so he keeps drinking, trying to blank out the impulse to kiss her again. Maria Hill was the one who deals with his drunken ass the night and the morning afterward. She becames a loyal friend guarding his secret. He was in love with his best friend.
Ten Cadets with a humongous hangover, wasn't the best squad. Thus, they never know why but the mission was an epic disaster, and they end being punished, as like they love the time together, all their SO put them into a dance class... Damn Victoria... she never let him dance with Mel, and a few days later, she drops the class and choose training. His heart stops every time she was near to him, but he needs her close, and being with her, makes him act like a stupid... and Maria loves teasing him with that. Tired to see their friends, loving each other, but being apart, she starts to fake dates with him, trying to put May jealous, but that doesn't work, the stubborn Asian, just let them be.
A freaking bully cames to the Academy that year, and his best toy was Cadet Coulson, following Maria's advice, he ask May for help in training.
They end every night in the rooftop, looking at the stars, just like his parents do... and he finally understands his father's words "One day Phillip, one day you'll get your own star..." Mel was.
One night, he finally kisses her under the rainwater. She looks so beautyful. After that day born in him, the instinct to protect her to all costs. Christmas becames a happy holiday againg the year he stay in her mother's home... those two weeks where hell to him, missing her warm body next to him every night.
After that, the real hell falls over them, they finally became Field Agents under the worst circumstances... the work keeps them away for days, only granting them time to kiss each other and no more. Later, they recived a bittersweet blessing: his dream come to life but only for a few months, breaking their hearts in the process.He has to be the strong one that time, supporting Mel all the time, and grieving alone in the darkest nights.
God bless their crazy work, because that was the only thing who keeps him on track, until that one mission at his charge change their lifes forever. They were played for people on their own teams, a set of good Agents die that night in Bahrain... included part of his Mel. He told her the same words his mother said to his father after his last mission, they work, but one part of his lover was totally gone. That was the first time he let her go.
She was asigned to the far team. That's the second. Why love always come slow, and goes so fast?
With the years, their common friends became high rank Agents in the organization, so was he.
He drunk himself to oblivion when the news got to America, Melinda was married. Why everithing he touches surely dies?
Long time later, he was dating with a rescued Cellist, the poor girl was haunted for a psycho gifted man. By the end, he has to let her go too, when an incredible chain of effects came to the land, he find superheroes, and fight with and for them, ending with his own dead. When he feel the Asgardian Scepter hurting his body, Melinda was in his mind, her name was his last word.
He wakes up, not knowing where he was, or the time has past, but with one thing in his mind... find her. The destiny plays on his side this time, Fury sends her to work with him once more. They reunite a weird circle of misfits Agents: two scientists with no social abilities, one mercenary in suit, one kidnapped hacktivist, one plane with a scariest pilot and a lot of bad fortune.
During the first missions May stay in her "Cavalry" mood, only answering the things she has to do, but one day was enough for her, she asks for the field again... and slowly she start to be the old Mel again, with pranks and all, the toothpaste in the bathroom seat, the shaving cream on the hands, and the soap dishes in the juice bottles and the horrible screams in the speakers at night.
The devil cames to them one more time with the old enemy's face: H.Y.D.R.A.
He let her go again, and as usual, he regrets that a few minutes after.
She got back, with incredible information. Long short story: he was the one behind and against the project who bring him back to life at the end. That day he knows... his time was short, and his clock was ticking for an end, and it'll be soon.
He knows what the GH-325 can do in people: saving him and Skye or turning them nuts, like Garret.
Days later, when the only members of his destroyed team being forced to live in the shadows, he knows, by the minute he starts to carving the walls with an unknown language, he knows: the end was near. Looking at her, all worried every time a new episode happened, he knows, he'll need to let her go again.
After an undercover mission, he ask her; in a moment of weakness; for her help when the end comes to him... she agrees, but after all those years, he knows her well... She won't do it. Because the single thaugt about his death was killing her. And then he goes undercover too, only to find the one who can.
The next day, he calls her to his office to introduce her a new member of their growing team: Alicia Blythe, a sweet girl with long dark hair, white skin, smart eyes... and a lot of secrets behind her. May welcomed her. And he knows, like always knows, she doesn't trust the young woman.
Minutes later, Blythe was gone and he finally say:
"Melinda, I need to tell you something" she panicked, he knows.
"Yes..." she said looking at him.
"I'm tired of being pretending... you and I know, my time is in the end"
"Don't say that!" She screams.
"But is the truth, we can't deny this anymore, " she starts to cry in that moment " And I'm tired to let you go... I can't do it any longer"
"What?"
"Let me finish, please, " he said, placing his index finger against her lips, " I know this is selfish... but I need you... I can't offer you a future"
"So we only have today" she wishpear.
"Just today" he answer, kissing her in the lips finally. He still has a lot of things to tell her, but, their kisses goes deeper, and the words go away.
Later that nigh, holding her against his body. He makes a promise: if he only can have the present to live for, all their days will be the best. He'll hand her sweet memories, to hold on, for the darkest days after he was gone.
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