Chapter 5
Phil wasn’t sure how long he’d driven when he found the tavern on the edge of town. He counted a total of six cars in the parking lot and decided a drink was just the thing. Once inside, he took the table in the back and ordered a single malt.
A son. He had a son. Phil had nearly said it aloud to help him get a better grip on the concept. He could still see Riley’s face. Deep blue eyes had gazed back at him. Phil considered going back to Clint’s to try to fix the messes he was continuing to make, but what would he say? Clint had been raising his son all this time and Phil would do anything for his forgiveness.
Hearing a glass set in front of him, Phil looked up to see Tony. He slid it close and the billionaire sat across from him.
“Phil Coulson, agent of SHIELD and now Dad. Former zombie,” Tony said before taking a drink from his glass.
“Did you follow me?”
“A little commiseration seemed in order. Not for you, mind you.”
“Really?” Phil almost laughed. He downed half his drink.
Tony raised his glass. “Since your arrival -.”
“You mean my kidnapping,” Phil interrupted.
“I’ve been the recipient of three spirits of Christmas,” Tony finished. “Past, present, and future. If I don’t change my ways, I’ll spend my eternity being lectured by the old man. Shocking the asshole hasn’t bothered to haunt me already.”
“I know I’m going to regret this,” Phil dryly responded. “What do you mean?”
“Captain ‘Mr. Perfect’ America, my own personal Christmas Past for one. His speeches are always uplifting. Then there’s Pepper,” Tony sighed.
“Didn’t take it well, did she?”
“Mrs. Christmas Present was happily crying, talked up your many lunches together and is likely at this very moment on a plane here to be fake-pissed before she hugs you like a new kitten.”
Phil smiled a little. He had missed Pepper. “And Christmas future? If I get a morbid funeral scene, I’m leaving.”
“Friday,” Tony said. “Call her the female Jarvis without the sarcasm, but still quite the mother hen. I’m having a snow party tomorrow afternoon.”
“A snow party? Stark, no snow is in the forecast for the next several days.”
“Forecasters lie, Phil, and the proof will be tomorrow where there will be six inches of snow for a five-mile radius.”
“You’re going to make it snow.” Phil couldn’t hide the pessimism.
“Just call it a minor lake-effect snow event. I’m using a couple of ponds for precipitation and Friday will provide the lake-effect part long enough for sledding, s’mores and hot cocoa. The works.”
“So what words of wisdom did your AI provide you for the future.”
“You should be there,” Tony simply stated. “Everyone else will be. I dropped it on Riley earlier and he’s a persistent tyke. Clint has yet to figure out how to say no to the kid. Besides, he’s never been on a sled.”
“Riley?”
“Neither of them. It’s something to do with Clint never having a childhood and giving one to Riley in spades.”
Phil shook his head. “Clint will leave if he sees me there. Tonight didn’t go so well.”
Tony chuckled a little. “Got the shock of your life tonight and you were the king of bad reactions. Well, actually I’m the king of that, but you were probably a close runner up.”
“Clint wants me to take Riley.”
“Huh.” Tony couldn’t have been more surprised. “Didn’t see that one coming. Riley’s his life. He made that clear when he moved here with a kid in tow.”
“It’s his idea of doing right by Riley.” Phil toyed with the glass with Clint’s face floating before him. The urge to run back to him was strong.
“And both of you are such selfless bastards,” Tony muttered. He finished off his drink and stood. “Rogers will tear one of my appendages off and beat me over the head for doing this, but fuck it. Living dangerously is what I do best.”
“What, Stark?”
“If you don’t show up tomorrow, I’m sending Bruce after you and not in his everyday suit either.”
“You know where Banner is?”
“Let’s just say I’m working on a Christmas present for our resident Widow.”
~*~
When Clint was sure Riley was sleeping, he went out to the back porch where Barney sat. His brother held up a beer and despite the cold, Clint took it. He twisted off the cap and took a long drink.
“How’d it go with the deadbeat?” Barney asked.
“Don’t start,” Clint responded.
“Hey, I can’t be pissed?”
“Not in front of Riley,” Clint sharply answered. He sighed. “Phil doesn’t want him.”
Barney sat up suddenly and leaned forward. “You tellin’ me you tried to give Riley to him? After everything?”
“Riley’s his, Barn. Phil…”
“Fuck that!” Barney said cutting him off. “I took you for naïve sometimes, kid, but dumb sure as hell wasn’t one of them.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do? Phil is Riley’s father and he should be raising him.”
“Don’t do a damn thing, Clint. You said yourself Phil doesn’t want him. End of story.”
“Fuck your KISS methodology,” Clint muttered. “In a few days, Phil will come around.”
Clint wasn’t even sure he believed that. Phil had changed and he didn’t know what to do about it. The obscenely competent man he’d know, that had saved his own life more times than Clint could count, was nowhere to be seen. That Phil Coulson was quick to smile, could be the worst nerd on the planet and had been more than a friend to Clint. He’d been the first person Clint had ever trusted in his life.
“Even if he does, you give Riley up to him and I swear I will fucking kick your ass,” Barney swore. He took a long pull of his beer. “I’m not telling you this just because I love that kid, I do. You do it and it’ll be the worst mistake of your life. There won’t be any undoing it and regrets are a fucking bitch.”
Clint took a hard look at his brother who was looking straight head and gripping the beer until his knuckles whitened.
“Barney?”
“There was this girl about six years ago,” Barney began. “Tonya. She was working at this bar in Columbus. We were together for about six months or so. Broke it off when an old boyfriend showed up. A few months later she calls me up and tells me she’s having my kid. Shit, back then I was still up to my neck in petty crimes and feeding my habit.”
“You had a kid?”
“Yeah.” Barney faintly smiled. “A little girl. We signed some papers and she went to an adoption agency.” He closed his eyes and took a moment before speaking. “Sometimes I lay awake in bed trying to imagine what she looked like. Maybe she’ll have Momma’s eyes, smile or something. Then I think about what she’d want for her birthday on those days. Even went to fucking Toys R Us and pretended to pick something out for her.”
“Barney, you can track her down. Stark’s got people that could help.”
“And do what? Some ex-con ex-carnie trash suddenly appears out of nowhere calling himself her father?” Barney finished off the bottle and set it down. “No way in hell would I do that to her, Clint. She’s got a normal family life and she’ll keep it if I’ve got anything to say about it.”
“What if she doesn’t?” Clint asked. “What if her childhood is as fucked up as ours?”
“I refuse to think otherwise,” Barney informed him. “Clint, I was no kind of man to be raising a kid and I knew it. A part of me will regret signing those papers for the rest of my life, but the biggest part says it was the best thing I ever did. Now, Phil Coulson is nine kinds of dick for what he did, but I know when a man is in a bad place and his is a dark one.”
Clint couldn’t argue that. The light in Phil’s eyes was gone.
“Besides, you never got over him and you never will.”
“I know,” Clint whispered. “I love him, Barney, but I don’t know if I can forgive him either.”
They spent the rest of the evening in silence.