Chapter 1
Steve Rogers has become the face of liberalism in the USA. He makes Republicans shit themselves in fear. How can you claim socialised health care and vaccinations are anti american when Captain America disagrees. At several press conferences Sam Wilson has had to drag him from the mic when Steve sets his mind to convincing people of what is right.
---
"Mr America, what's your opinion on the legalisation of same sex marriage?"
The reporter shoves a microphone in the tall man's face. He stops his run for a second.
"I think it's wonderful" He offers the reporter a shaky smile then continues, footfalls heavy on the ground.
As he runs away the smile breaks. Each time he closes his eyes all he can see is Bucky Barnes' face. They made a promise and he broke it. He left Bucky and now all that's left is the Winter Soldier. What can he do after the end of the line.
"How do you feel about being a queer" Steve was slumped up against a wall and as the bully spat out the question a sharp kick landed in his ribs. A small trail of blood dripped down his face.
"Where's your boyfriend?" Another kick landed and he barely flinched, he was too far gone. Eventually, the bullys got bored, Steve wasn't going to be fighting back any time soon. He just sat there, blood on his knuckles, head in his hands. All he could think of was how disappointed Bucky was going to be, he'd promised, no more fights.
---
He was in the alley for a while before Bucky found him, too scared to move.
"Bloody hell, Stevie, you promised me." The words were no more than a whisper but Steve still flinched, peering out from between his fingers.Bucky hoisted him onto his hip and started the arduous process of hauling him back to the shoebox apartment they shared. He mumbled half fledged sentences to Steve about how scared he'd been for him (again). Yet Steve barely moved, skinny limbs loose, eyes unfocused.
"Stevie, listen to me. This has to stop." Bucky stared at him, solemnly. He was scared. This happened far too often. Bucky was terrified for the day he didn't find Steve or found him too late. He deserved so much more than bleeding out in an alley. He couldn't bare the thought of losing Steve, he was all he had.
"I promise Buck -- I'm with you 'til the end of the line..." He fell forwards into Bucky's arms. Eyes closing and there was only darkness.
---
In Steve's dreams he didn't need protecting, he wasn't Little Stevie the neighbourhood kid you had to look out for . He was Steve Rogers and people knew his name, his full name. They respected him. He wasn't scrawny or beat up and his ribs didn't ache. He didn't have to fear for the day he couldn't pay the hospital bill. In his dreams, Bucky was his and he didn't get hit for the very idea. He mainly dreamt of Bucky, the curl of his hair, the bow of his mouth. He dreamt of the way Bucky's muscles felt under his hands and the smile he reserved only for Steve, his Stevie. He dreamt of a world where he could hold Bucky's hand.
Not that he would ever tell Bucky, not in so many words anyway. Bucky deserved better than a scrawny queer of a best friend and Steve hated it. He'd change it all in a heartbeat if it meant he and Bucky would be together until the end of time. He would do anything for him. And it wasn't that he thought Bucky would react badly if he found out, he just never wanted to have to hear that he didn't like him like that and he never would. Bucky was a real ladies man, not a queer like him. He would never hurt Steve for the way he felt but he would never feel the same way either and Steve knew it.
---
Bucky Barnes sighed from his head to his toes as laid Steve on the couch. If he didn't wake up soon he would have to take him to the hospital again and they couldn't afford that. They'd already had to buy Steve a new inhaler that month, they were barely scraping enough together to eat, let alone to fix Steve up again. Bucky just decided to start bandaging him up and hope for the best.
He went to the bathroom and fetched a wet cloth and some bandages. Dropping down next to Steve he picked up a small hand, dragging his thumb across bleeding knuckles. Proof Steve had got at least one good hit in. He felt Steve's breath hitch and he dropped his hand.
"How you feeling there Stevie? Do you need to go to the hospital?" The worry seeped into his tone, the edges of his voice dull.
"M'fine. Promise"
"Sleep while I patch you up, okay Stevie." Bucky picked up his hand again and started gingerly dabbing at the scrapes with a cloth. He wasn't gentle quickly cleaning the cuts on Steve's hands and arms. He didn't care if it stung maybe that would teach him, how could he keep doing this them. It didn't just hurt Steve, it hurt Bucky as well.
"I need to check your ribs now Stevie." He gingerly unbuttoned the soft shirt, Steve's eyes fluttered open.Bucky sped up, mumbling to Steve about how he promised it would all be okay. He pressed Steve's ribs and stomach, checking for any damage, feeling the tense muscle underneath. He thought of anything but the situation he was in. He couldn't think of Steve like that - especially not when Steve was there, practically underneath him.
After he was done he lifted Steve up with practiced ease, holding him close. He walked slowly from the couch into the bedroom, pulled back the sheets and lowered him down. He was careful not to jog him, arranging the pillows and sheets around Steve's body. All Bucky had to do for now was to let Steve he'd be fine in the morning. He always was.
Steve Rogers stood a tall 6' 5", broad-shouldered and fair haired. People would stare as he walked by on the street, he just had that kind of effect on people. And he felt so helpless trying to find a good apartment in his old neighbourhood. He really didn't want to have to move to D.C. He didn't like it's streets or its politics or the fact that it meant he would always be near SHIELD. He knew if he moved to D.C they pretty much owned him, he was tired of being controlled.
So instead he was in another overpriced Brooklyn apartment with shitty light and exposed pipes. Apparently, even being Captain America couldn't get you a good apartment quickly, especially not on his soldiers salary. He thought of one last place he could try from his old neighbourhood. He remembered the owner of the club he and Bucky used to go to rented out the top apartment, maybe his son would remember him from the old days.
He knocked on the door and it slowly creaked open. A girl in her mid-twenties peeked cautiously through the gap.
"I'm sorry ma'am, I was a friend of Ethan Gills. I've just moved back to the neighbourhood and I was wondering if you still rented out the top floor.
"Who are you? Ethan Gills is eighty six, what do you want with him."
"Like I said I'm an old friend, please let me talk to him I promise I mean no harm."
She chewed nervously at her lip, anxious at the thought of letting the tall stranger into her apartment. "Fine." The door swing open as she grabbed his arm and dragged him through the familiar apartment, into a narrow room.
An old man sat on a plush arm chair and the room smelt of leather and old books. The man squinted. "Oh my, little Steve Rogers, I heard you were back and my how you've grown since the war." The words fell out in a raspy tumble and Steve was glad the man recognised him, he couldn't bare losing another friend.
"I hate to ask this but do you still rent out the top apartment. I need somewhere to go and after all this time everything's a bit different." It was said with a smile but he couldn't stop the sadness creeping in on the edges of his speech.
"Anything for you Stevie, after all, you were the first." Steve couldn't help but see the lanky teen boy he'd known in the forties. That boy was just like Steve, with a mouth to big for his body and a disregard for what people expected of him. Steve had always thought that if things had gone different he might have ended up with Ethan Gills. He wasn't Bucky, of course (no one was), but at least he reciprocated Steve's feelings.
"I'm sorry, I never came back and I'm sorry I didn't call when I did."
"It's alright Steve, it really is. And you can have the top apartment no problem. Tell Sall to give you the keys."
Steve's shoulders dropped as he left the room and it was all he could do not to let out a muffled sob at the thought of someone else he'd left behind. Sall didn't interrupt him as he left first dropping two keys into his hand then guiding him to the front door. She looked up at Steve with those big brown eyes and tried to get a handle on what she now knew.
"Come back tomorrow at two and it'll be ready for you." A pause and then "Will you be alright for today, Mr Rogers?"
"M'fine, my hotel's booked for another day anyway. Thank you so much, tell Ethan that as well. . . And call me Steve." With that he walked away.