Every Story Has It's Scars
Skye wakes to the sound of a shuffle. It startles her because she's been sleeping alone for two weeks now, Grant makes sure she isn't here whenever he showers or gets a fresh pair of clothes. He still isn't speaking to her unless absolutely necessary, like if they're in training or on a mission and he has no choice. The Team for the most part has gotten over the Miles incidcent, but Grant has been holding a grudge, something she didn't know he did.
She opens her eyes to see him shuffling through his drawers, which makes her pause. Ward can be silent as the dead when he wishes, she shouldn't have even heard him, unless he wanted her to. ''Hey''. She sits up and yawns, taking this is as some sign of good faith that he's ready to talk. ''Hey''. He takes off his shirt distracting her momentarily, before slipping on another and his hand already reaching for the handle on the door.
''You can't keep ignoring me Grant''. He stops, turns to look at her. ''Yes I should have told you why I wanted to join Shield in the first place, but I didn't and I paid for it. The Team has forgiven me for it, I want to tell you the reason but I can't if you don't talk to me''. Instead of walking out, much to her surprise he braces one shoulder against the door and crosses his arms, letting her continue.
''Besides in the long run you have no right to be mad at me. What I did is nothing compared to what-'' She cuts herself off and sighs when she sees the look in his eye. ''You know that I'm right. Grant Miles means nothing to me, not anymore. I met you and I knew that there was never going to be anyone else for me, you have to know that''. Nothing. No reaction, no change in his facial expression. It's frustrating.
Whatever version of him this is, she doesn't like it. Skye has grown accustom to Agent Grant Ward over the past few weeks, she understands the role he plays. But most times especially now she misses Grant. The warm smile that greeted her in the morning, that bundled her up in his jacket and his chest when it was cold outside but she just had to have coffee from the shop.
The man who's only tickle spot is behind his ear, who she can make come apart beneath her with her hands. The softer side of him, the one she fell in love with. The person she could lie in bed for hours with and not even have to say a word and she was at peace. This cold Specialist in front of her might as well be a stranger, she doesn't know how to act around him.
Skye gets it, she understands why he's angry, he was right she'd be angry too if she was in his shoes. But at the same time he won't let her explain her reasoning, if he did he might look at the situation in a different light. ''Coulson has a mission for us at the Hub, get dressed''. With that he leaves the room and she puts her face in her hands.
''I messed up''. Skye is in the process of gathering her clothes, the phone cradled between her shoulder and ear. ''What happened?'' Kebo has always been there for her when she needed him, they've grown close in the short time she's known him. If her and Grant ever had any issues he'd be the first one she called to tell him all about it.
As she's dressing she tells him about Miles and everything else that followed. He listens in silence, only makes a sound when she mentions that Miles kissed her. ''I'm just going to guess how Ward is handling this''. ''I don't know what to do, if we were home I feel like we'd be able to solve this in a few hours. But he's just completley ignoring me, he doesn't even want to talk''.
''Well look at it from his point of view. The only woman you've ever been serious about, told her everything about you which you've never done before, ever. Open yourself up to her and she makes you vulnerable, weak. And she turns right back around and hides something from you and you hid nothing from her. Not the important things anyway''.
She slips on socks and her boots, ''I know you're right but I just couldn't tell him''. ''Why not?'' ''I don't know, I wasn't ready. And by the time I was it was too late, the damage had been done''. ''Look I have to go in a minute, sorry to end this very dramatic conversation. But Ward cares about you more than anything, trust me I've never seen him like this. But you need to think of what else is tipping the scale at the moment. It's not just about you and him''.
Skye knows what he means. It's about Garrett. It's always been about Garrett, she'll always come second to him, she's known that since the first time she saw John and Grant interact in front of her.
*
Skye pours herself a glass of wine before sitting on the kitchen counter, smiling slightly at Grant who rolls his eyes. ''Dinner should be ready in twenty minutes''. He informs her, stepping between her legs to kiss her. His hands are on the top of her thighs, his tongue grazing her lower lip, her fingers slip underneath his shirt, when the front door opens. She jumps up, but Ward remains calm, indifferent.
Instinctively she clings to him thinking there is some kind of danger, and there most definitely is. John Garrett walks through the door just like he did the first time she met him, like he owns the place. Like nothing can touch him. ''Oh don't mind me, continue''. He tells them, giving Grant a wink that makes Skye's stomach turn. She unwraps her legs from Grant's waist and he steps back, gives her room to hop off the counter.
''Thought you were in Brazil''. Ward says, opening the fridge and throwing the older man a beer. ''Got the job done early. Good to see you again sweetheart''. He looks at Skye in an gentle manner, but she can see the posion behind his eyelids. She's reminded of what Kebo told her right before Grant got home the first time her and Garrett were face to face.
''He's a dangerous son of a bitch. You don't want to get on his bad side''.
Skye crosses her arms. ''I could say the same thing about you, but then I'd be lying''. She ingores the look Grant gives her and pays all of her attention to Garrett. The words seem to amuse him, he smiles. ''You're fiesty, good quality to have in a woman. Better be careful Ward with this one, she just might turn on you''. Ward says nothing, just sits on the couch and drinks his own beer.
''I wouldn't do that to him''. ''That's what they all say. Ward what are you making? I'm starved''. John then interrupts the meal they had planned, and drinks all of the wine Skye purchased earlier that morning. The dinner goes almost the same as the last one she shared with him, his sly comments about her and Ward's relationship.
She notices the way John speaks to Grant, like he is a scared little kid that needs direction. Garrett talks about past Shield missions, his time as Grant's SO, and how perfect Grant is at pulling the trigger. How excact his movements are, how impressive, that John has never seen someone as good as Grant Ward. There's not a world in which Skye would be comfortable with this conversation.
Garrett made Grant the way he is, a machine, a tool he can use whenever he wants. Turned Ward into a loaded gun, a bomb, ready to go off whenever Garrett so desires. It's disgusting. And Skye knows that Ward has this twisted logic grained into him by John, that he saved Ward from a truamtic environment (which he did) but instead of getting the right help Ward needed, John brain washed him. Threw him in the woods and made him who he is today.
It's not right or fair and Skye has never been a person prone to violence, but in this moment she wants nothing more than to see the man in front of her bleed. When Garrett gets up to use the restroom Grant puts his hand on her knee. ''Skye I''- ''Why do you let him talk to you like that? It's not okay''. ''It's just the way he is, it's harmless''. ''No it isn't, Grant you don't deserve that''.
''You don't know him like I do, okay? I owe him everything''. She places her hand against his cheek. ''No you don't. You''- ''Drop it. We'll talk about it later''. John comes back then, she doesn't miss how his fingers twitch beside the holster of his gun. ''So Skye, if that is your real name, how long are you planning on sticking around?'' He asks, taking the seat across from her again.
''I really don't think that's any of your business''. The pressure on her knee increases slightly. ''No need to be defensive honey, I just want to know how serious you are about Ward. Wouldn't want him getting hurt now''. ''By me or you? Because the only person in this room that would even be okay with hurting him, is sitting in front of me''. ''Skye''. Grant warns and she ignores him.
Keeps pushing. Garrett gives Ward a look that makes her insides drop. ''I don't where you got the idea that I''- ''It wasn't that hard to spot the mosnter underneath your skin. I don't trust or like you, and if it wasn't for Grant I would have''- John leans farther into the table and Grant tenses, his body rising slightly as well.
''You would have what, killed me?'' ''Told the world who you really are''. It's a shot in the dark, she really doesn't know anything about him besides the small deatails Ward told her, and Kebo whispered to her how Garrett found Ward in the juvenile detention center. But she can tell he's hiding something, that he's not what he's pretending to be. The smile John gives her is chilling.
''And who am I?'' ''Skye that's enough''. She turns to her boyfriend, who's now two hands are clenched together on the table. ''Oh it's fine son, let her continue. Who am I Skye? What lies has he been feeding you?'' ''Grant doesn't have to tell me how repulsive and manipulative you are, you showed me that all on your own''. John stands from the table, and Ward has finally had enough.
He puts himself in front of her, turns around to face her. The movement does not go unnoticed by Garrett. ''You need to get your whore under control Ward''. ''John''. Skye raises her eyebrow. ''I'm sorry was that comment okay with you? Because I am so''- ''Skye, that's enough''. There's something in his voice, something desperate that makes her close her mouth.
''Take a walk, cool off, okay? Everything is okay''. He runs his hands down her arms. ''Let me get this straight he comes into our home, insults me, and you want me to leave? What the hell is wrong with you?'' ''Skye, please''. She backs away from him and glares at Garrett. ''If you ever speak to me like that again I'll kill you''. She slams the door on her way out.
After a few drinks with Kebo she heads back to the apartment, Kebo at her side his hand on his gun. ''Why do you and Grant do that? I saw Garrett do the same thing earlier''. He shrugs, ''habit I suppose, a need to make sure it's there''. They enter the apartment complex, walk up the stiars. ''Let me go in first, make sure he's gone''. Skye nods, takes deep slow breaths as Kebo walks through the door.
She hears muffled vocies and then Kebo waves her in. The apartment is spotless, evidence of their dinner cleaned and put away. Skye sees Grant, his back to her, drink in hand. ''Do you have any left overs? I'm famished''. ''In the fridge''. Skye takes a hesitant step to Ward, puts her hand on his arm. ''I'm not going to apologize for what happened and if you expect me to-''
Her words are cut off when his lips touch hers, his hand cupping the back of her neck and pulling her closer. This isn't what she expected to happen but she'll take it, for now. ''John has his faults, but he's a good man. Can you give him a chance for me, please? I owe him all that I am''. Skye nods just to get rid of the terrified look in his face.
Later that night she notices a bruise blooming on his rib cage, when she questions Grant about it she's met with stony silence.
*
Skye joins Fitz and Simmons in the lounge, waits for Coulson to brief them. ''I'm afraid this mission is classified, clearance level eight''. Everyone else seems to agree and understand that but Skye is at a loss. They explain it to her and she tries to catch Ward's eye, but he refuses to look at her.
''Ward is still not speaking to you?'' Simmons asks her as they walk beside Coulson in the Hub. Skye barely hears her, too distracted by the massive place, the living breathing organization that is Shield. It's beautiful and exciting, she also takes note that a building like this could have so much information, mabye even about her parents.
''He did this morning, only to tell me about this mission that we can't even know about. I understand why he's freezing me out, but eventually he's going to have to put on his grown man pants and just talk to me''. Simmons and Fitz laugh and even Coulson cracks a smile. Skye rubs the monitoring bracelet Coulson put on her, ''does it also mean no access to any computers here whatsoever? I could run a search on the redacted Shield file on my parents''.
''Skye''. ''But it just seems like the place to keep them, right?'' ''I'll look into it but right now we've got more pressing matters at hand''.
Ward has never enjoyed trips the Hub, they bore him. He'd rather be out in the field than wearing a suit, talking to Shield agents about missions and other things he doesn't care about. He keeps an eye on Skye, watches as she grills Coulson on something. Her back is to him so he can't read her lips, but he knows whatever she wants to tell him, Coulson knows about it.
Grant knows in his gut he just needs to talk to her, that's what she wants, what they both need. But his pride and stubborness keeps her at arm's length, that small whisper in the back of his brain that tells him John is right, that he'll always be right about Skye.
He listens to details about the mission and is not very happy he's going in with Fitz. While he tolerates the Scientist, he isn't too keen or comfortable taking him out on the field. Garrett has nothing to do with this mission so Grant relaxes ever so slightly, this is strictly all about Shield. Skye doesn't have the clearance to meet with Victoria Hand, not that she's missing anything.
Grant is not a fan of Hand, never has been. While he respects the work she does he'll never understand why John didn't take her out when he had the chance. Maybe it's because she seems to see people for who they really are, how she can read between the lines. Being a spy, one could see how that would make him a little weary.
They're going in dark. In the middle of Russia with no back up, just Ward and Fitz. Skye doesn't have to be a level eight Shield agent to be nervous about those odds. Despite the water they're trudging through right now she joins him in their bunk, watches him pack lightly. ''Promise me you'll be careful. I know we're not exactly on good terms right now, but I need to know you'll be safe''.
He doesn't look up when he responds, ''I'll be fine''. He moves to leave but she catches his arm. Grabs his chin, forcing him to look at her. ''I'm not a Shield agent, I don't know everything about this mission but it doesn't exactly sound like a trip to Disney World. Please Grant, just please be careful''. ''I promise''. He extracts himself from her grip and exits without a word.
She was right to be nervous. It's later that night she finds out there will be no extraction team for Grant and Fitz. Shield left them there to die. Skye is having a hard time breathing, and in that moment for at least a fraction of a second, she understands why Garrett joined Hydra. Shield abandoned him too. She confronts Coulson about it, fear in her bones, who tells her to trust the system.
So she comes up with a plan of her own. Half of her even considers calling Garrett himself because she knows without a doubt he'll protect Ward, he'll get him out. But for obvious reasons she can't, the thought lingers in the back of her brain hours later though.
''Why haven't you forgiven Skye? Everyone else has''. Ward finishes surveying the area, the night cold. Him and Fitz have only spent a few hours hiding from the enemy, but to him it feels like days. ''We're not talking about Skye''. ''Why not? I know what she did was wrong but maybe she has her reasons, we don't know the full story''. ''Fitz the last thing I want to discuss with you is Skye''.
''But she cares about you, doesn't that count for something?'' Ward doesn't respond. But yes, yes it does.
Ward and Fitz finish the mission through and through, and when they go to wait for the extraction team Grant realizes that there isn't one. It's so typical of Shield and Grant has another plan to get them out, his thoughts on Skye, when the Bus appears and May gets them in the clear.
Skye's plan didn't go exactly the way she intended, with Simmons shooting Agent Sigwell in the chest, but all in all it worked out. Grant is safe, he's alright he's coming back to her. This is what being a team means, working together to get the job done. She's sitting on the stairs, her parents on the back burner when she sees Fitz run into the cargo hold, followed by Grant.
She doesn't think or breathe before she leaps from the steps and runs full speed, relief at seeing him alive so overwhelming boiling and spilling over. He catches her effortlessly, her legs around his waist, face in his neck arms tight around him. He doesn't pull away or set her down, instead he cups the back of her neck, tells her he's alright over and over until she stops shaking.
He even kisses her back, his lips warm and welcoming against hers.
''I can't do this Grant, this is too much. I mean how do you do it? You're constantly getting shot at, just last week you jumped out of a plane to save Simmons''. The panic over that day comes over her and she paces the length of their bunk while he starts the shower. She followed him in here after he briefed Coulson and May on the mission.
''I'm used to it Skye, I've been doing this for years. Besides, it's what I have to do''. He stands in front of her and she holds his face in her hands. ''Are you sure you're alright?'' ''I'm fine''. ''So you're talking to me now?'' Grant shrugs like he didn't just spend days ignoring her. ''You can tell me why you're really here in the shower''. She slides out of her clothes with a grin.
''I'm sorry''. ''I am too. I should have just told you about Miles when I first found out it was him that sold out Chan. And I should of told you about my parents sooner, I'm not sure why I didn't''. Skye pulls the comforter tighter around them, curls into Ward's chest. ''Everyone has secrets, you know I understand that more than anyone. But can you understand my side of it?''
She nods against her pillow. ''You told me things, dark things that you trusted me with. I trust you, you know that. I'm sorry I made you think otherwise''. ''It's alright, I shouldn't of ignored you, that wasn't right''. ''You were angry''. ''That's not an excuse, I'm an adult I should have handled this better''. ''It doesn't matter''. ''Yes it does''. He kisses her forehead.
''I'm sorry Skye''. ''What made you change your mind about talking to me?'' She feels him smile against her skin. ''Kebo, and Fitz''. She laughs, ''you told Kebo?'' ''He yelled at me''. ''Me too. What did Fitz say?'' ''That you care about me, that it should count for something''. ''Does it?'' He gives her a startled look like he thought he made his feelings about her very clear.
''Of course, you're everything to me Skye''. Her eyes drift close when he kisses her slowly, softly, in a way that makes her toes curl. ''You're everything to me too''.
She longs to say the words, knows in her heart that she's loved him for a long time. But also knows that he won't want to hear them, that he's afraid to be loved. Because everyone that has ever loved him has hurt him and he's had to crawl through the wreckage they left him in.
So she kisses him, runs her hands down his back. She can't say those three words, but she can show him how he makes her feel, what he does to her, how much she's missed him. No matter what happens, they'll always have each other.
Or so they think. But there are some things that not even love can save.