Chapter 16
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“Okay, what?!" you and Bucky exclaimed at the same time.
“Li?"
“Alive?"
“HOW?"
Bucky put his hands up and you both shut up. You took a deep breath and slowly let it out; he started pacing. Finally, you were able to speak.
“She was dead and now she's not."
“Yeah, I gathered that, baby doll. I don't understand how though! Steve saw her die and-."
Bucky stopped and furrowed his brow, his eyes fixed on the door. You frowned and got closer to him.
“Buck-."
He grabbed your hand with his non-prosthetic one and suddenly you came face to face with the Major.
“-ya remember me, Li?"
“Bits and pieces. I remember when you brought me to the hospital I feel like it was more than once too, remember your favorite pancakes are chocolate-."
You yanked your hand from your soul mate's and folded your arms with a scowl. He raised his eyebrow.
“James Buchanan Barnes! This is the sneakiest, lowest thing you've ever done and how do you do it?"
The supersoldier smiled nervously and ran a hand through his hair with a shrug.
“I've been able t' do ever since he and Li 'met'. I dunno how I can get int' their bond, but he's never blocked me out of it so I don't think he knows I can do it."
Bucky looked away from your soul piercing stare.
“It's how I've took care of them for years..."
You continued to glare, but you couldn't deny it was the best way to know how, Li, came back from the dead. You held your hand back out and pulled your supersoldier close.
“Well, what are you waiting for sergeant? Get us back in there."
Bucky relaxed in your arms. The corners of your mouth turned up in amusement and he put his forehead on yours.
“...remember marrying my John," Li said, “Best day of my life is when I became Mrs. Davis. John cleared every thing up for me when I woke up in the morgue a few days ago, but he never mentioned Captain America..."
You felt a wave of sadness and anger wash over you as, Steve, looked down at Li's feet. After a minute, he looked back up at his confused wife and held out his hands.
“Give me your hands. Please?"
Li frowned and hesitated. Steve's eyes started misting over.
“I won't hurt ya, sweetheart. I promise."
“Where....a-a-a-am I-I?"
“Ya in the hospital, ma'am! I-."
“No!"
The strange, blind girl sat up and tried to get out of bed, but, Steve, held her down as best his tiny frame could.
“Miss, ya hurt real bad! Stop movin'!" he ordered.
“I can't....stay!" she panicked, “They'll-!"
“HoNey!"
Steve looked over at the door there was an average height white boy that couldn't be more than eighteen. He had black hair and eyes a sickening shade of green. His most noticeable features, however, were the scar going from his hairline to his cheek and disproportionately small, skinny arm. The boy looked at the lady and she started shaking.
“J-J-John!"
John came over and moved in between Steve and the girl. Steve looked over at her and she reached around till she found John's arm. She hesitantly laid her head on it.
“Thank you for taking care of my wife kid. You can leave now."
Steve raised an eyebrow at the likely lie. This girl couldn't be more than fifteen. Coupling her age with the slight trembling in the girl's body, Steve, was apprehensive about leaving.
“Don't ya want t' know how I found her?" he asked John.
“She can tell me, right, hon?"
The girl nodded and held on tighter to her “husband". Steve sighed.
“Do ya want me t' leave, miss?"
She nodded slowly and her husband frowned at her hesitation. Steve didn't like it, but he couldn't argue. He didn't have proof of the girl's age and they both wanted him out. He took his leave and a fourth of the way down the hall, eavesdropped instead.
“What were you thinking! We could've been found out!" John shouted.
“I'm....s-s-s-s-!"
“Shut up! I'm so sick of your sorries! You look sorry!"
“B-b-baby, w-w-what....happened...t'...y-y-ya?!" the girl cried, “Wh-what did they do t' ya?"
“They didn't do anything! That's the fuckin' problem!" John bellowed, “You have all that power in you and you're too stupid to use it while I still sit here with a fucked up arm and all the medical bills! I'm sick of it!"
The girl let out a cry of pain as the loud, uncomfortable sound of skin hitting skin echoed through the hall. Steve clenched his hands and went back inside to see, John, raising his good hand to his cowering, sobbing “wife".
“HEY! WHADDYA THINK YA DOIN'?" the blond exclaimed.
John turned around and put his hand on his wife's. She immediately faced the opposite direction so, Steve, couldn't see her face.
“I'm trying to have a private conversation with my wife. What are you doing here, kid? You did your scout badge now leave!"
“I just heard ya hit her!"
John clenched his fist around his wife's hand. She started shaking harder and, Steve, started seeing red.
“How dare you accuse me of something so terrible? Did I hit you, honey?"
The girl was silent and her husband frowned.
“I said, did I hit you, honey?"
She shook her head and her husband growled and forcefully turned her around, opening some of her stiches. Steve could see the red swelling handprint on her cheek and all he wanted to do was knock this guy out and take this child some place safe.
“I want to hear you say it, dear."
The trembling girl stared at a point just beyond, Steve, with hurt and confusion contorting her face.
“H-he didn't h-hit.....me."
Steve's face softened in sadness as she repeated it again. John sneered.
“There you go. Now leave."
Steve left with one last look at the silently suffering girl, but continued to listen to them down the hall.
“I'm sorry, honey," John sighed, “I'm just really tired from all the testing. I won't hurt you again."
“P-promise?"
“I promise."
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“Make my day, bitch! Fight me back!"
“You...know I....can't-!""
The man growled started kicking her repeatedly into the alley wall. Steve couldn't believe everyone just kept walking past this assault and took off across the street.
When he got close enough to make out the their features, the Captain couldn't believe his eyes. It was the same young couple from seventy years ago, just all grown up.
“You're weak and stupid!" John spat, punctuating every word with a kick to the head, “YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR POWERS! I DO!"
“HEY! WHADDYA THINK YA DOIN'?"
John turned around to meet a fist to his face. He tried to fight back, but was no match against Captain America. He pushed the unconscious man away and bent down to the beaten woman.
“Let me get ya out of here, ma'am-."
She growled and slapped his hands away.
“W-w-why can't y-ya just leave us.....a-alone?" she asked.
“Be-because he's hurtin' ya, miss!" Steve exclaimed, “I ain't gonna ignore it!"
“I-I-I am.....fine! He w-w-works hard...an' I just make things more....dif-difficult....for...him..."
“That's not an excuse!" he reasoned, “Ya don't deserve t' be treated like this, miss."
The woman broke down, curled into a ball, and covered her face. Steve sat her up to hug her and suddenly somehow felt every bit of her pain.
“I-I don't.....got.....now-w-where else t-t' go!" she sobbed, “He's the only...one wh-who'll take care of m-me!"
“Come with me. I'll keep you safe," the Captain promised, “I'll never let him touch ya again, miss. Please let me help ya this time?"
She quieted for a long time. The Captain ran a hand up and down her back. He couldn't figure out why, but he felt this instinctive nature to never let her out of his sight again, like he needed to protect her at all costs. Finally, she nodded.
“Can I carry ya, ma'am?" he asked gently.
“N-no you can't c-carry me. Just h-h-help me.....walk."
She moved to get up and he put his arm around her to help the woman stand. She leaned into him and he looked down at her. She was so small, just barely reaching his shoulder, but her inner strength and stubbornness seemed to make up for her unintimidating exterior. The Captain smiled, reminded of someone similar he used to know.
“M' name's Steve, Steve Rogers by the way."
She finally made eye contact with him. There were so many questions in her eyes.
“Cool story...."
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“Ma'am! Ma'am, it was a dream! It's not real."
The Major kept shaking and backing away into the corner of her room. Steve's hands were up in a peaceful gesture for the third time this week.
“Ya safe, miss."
He took her in his arms and she held him tight, sobbing into his shoulder. Steve kissed her temple and kept his lips there.
“I gotcha, miss," he promised.
“St-Steve?"
She pulled back and looked into his eyes, Steve sighed in relief at the sign of recognition in them.
“Yes. Yes, it's-oh don't cry. Please don't cry, he's not worth the energy sweetheart."
“B-B-but they'll find me."
“How long have you been here?"
“A m-month."
“And have they got ya?"
“N-no."
“There ya go."
She sniffed and laid back on her pillow. Steve waited a second before getting up, but the Major held his hand. Her big dark eyes were shining with tears and the Captain sat back down. No matter what she said with that look, he would do it.
“C-can you s-s-stay? W-w-with me?"
Steve's eyebrows shot up and the Major looked away with a very slight blush. After a second of getting over the shock, he nodded.
“Of course, sweetheart."
He got underneath the covers and tucked the both of them in. When he laid down the Major was facing him, scanning his head for some sort of deception in his kindness. She couldn't and never would.
“L- Li Dav-Jones. My name is Li Jones."
Steve's eyes widened and he gaped like a fish for a moment before taking her hand and kissing it. Li blushed as much as her skin color allowed again.
“That's a pretty name...for a beautiful woman."
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“Can I kiss you?"
“I am your girlfriend, you sap."
Li looked at him in amusement, waiting for his move. The Captain blushed deeply thinking about his next question. He hoped six months into their relationship this wouldn't be awkward, but here he was. Finally, he just went for it.
“Can-can I make love t' ya?"
Li's eyebrows shot up and the supersoldier was about to back track when the Major rolled over on top of him.
“Yes, please, Steve..."
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“That's it, Mrs. Rogers keep pushing! She's out, she's out!" the doctor shouted.
The second the Captain cut Amy's umbilical cord and the doctor laid his little girl in his arms, Steve, knew life couldn't get any better than this moment. Being leader of the Avengers, being a living legend, having a museum exhibit, he would give it all up to keep the family he didn't even know he wanted. Steve looked up at his wife and newborn son with tears in his eyes. Li sat up and kissed him between the eyebrows; he kissed her temple.
“I love ya, Li."
“I love you too, Steve."
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“Amy, stop! NO, James!"
“It's their first birthday, Steve, what do you expect?"
The Captain sighed and sat back down as his children continued to run around the Tower covered in birthday cake. He pulled his wife into his lap and she kissed him between the eyebrows. He relaxed. At least there's only two of them.
“Steve, I'm pregnant...."
“WHAT?"
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“That-that can't be-we never-!"
Steve's hands tightened on his wife's as she started to panic.
“Yes, we did, sweetheart. I remember now."
“I remember ya bein' pregnant with them, I remember how excited we were once the shock of me knockin' ya up was gone, I remember gettin' down on m' knee and askin' ya t' let me make our family official."
“I remember marryin' ya on the beach. Ya were so breathtakin' that day, baby girl. Ya dress was flowin' behind ya, the sun made ya glowin'... I thought I was gonna pass out watchin' m' angel walk down the aisle....we had somethin' special, sweetheart."
He looked down, swallowing the pain of remembering their lost child, of losing his wife, of losing their life together because of their combined terrible decisions.
“We've both made mistakes. Ya forgave me for all of mine an' punished yaself for yours. It's time I apologised too."
He got up, despite his pain so her could be on her level.
“Li, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everythin' I've done t' hurt ya an' our family. There's nothin' I can do that will ever make up for it, but I never stopped loving ya, sweetheart. Please believe me!"
Li faced the floor and shook her head. Steve's breath hitched.
“Captain...Captain I-I should leave-."
“No! Please listen t' me, sweetheart!"
He cupped her cheeks and locked his eyes on hers.
“Ya mine, baby. Ya m' best girl, the mother of m' children, ya m' soul mate, baby! Ya got the most beautiful brown eyes; ya gave 'em t' our Amelia!"
“That all sounds wonderful, Captain, but I'm sure you're mistaken. I'm very...content with my John."
“He's destroyin' ya, Li! When's the last time ya ate? Slept? When's the last time ya could see?"
Li pushed off him in white hot rage.
“M' life with m' husband ain't no business of yours!" she exclaimed.
“IT IS WHEN YA M' WIFE! YA MARRIED ME!" the Captain snapped, “YA DIVORCED THAT BASTARD AN' MARRIED ME FOUR YEARS AGO!"
Steve got down on his knees and took her hands, tears clouding his vision.
“P-please, please come home! Come back t' me, Li, I love ya!"
Li stood up her face etched in sadness for the confused man in front of her. She shook her hands out of his and went to the door.
“It was nice meeting you again, Captain, but my husband is waiting for me. You-you should find your wife, she sounds lovely."
“No! Wait, baby, please-!"
“And try to not t' get your heart ripped out again, yeah?"
She closed the door behind her and went quickly past you and, Bucky, who pulled you two out of the Captain's head. The next second, you heard breaking glass in the room. Bucky tried the knob, but it was locked.
“Steve-!" he started.
“Go AWAY!"
“Oh, no you don't punk! We're not playing that game again. We're coming in!"
Bucky busted opened the door and you two met the sight of a completely trashed guest room along with a raging, tear stained, and bloodied knuckled blond supersoldier.
“I SAID GO AWAY!"
“Steve, please calm down?" you asked gently.
The Captain went limp and put his head in his hands, shaking with tears for a moment before growling and grabbing the nearest, unbroken thing- a lamp- and chucking it at you and Bucky.
“GET OUT!" he screamed, “LEAVE ME ALONE!"
You dodged it, but, Steve, just kept throwing things.
“Steve, Steve we just want to help-!" you begged.
“I TOLDJA YA CAN'T SO JUST GO! LEAVE ME LIKE SHE DID-FUCK!"
Steve grabbed his now bleeding chest and sat down hard the ground. You and Bucky cautiously made your way over to him.
“S-s-she left me a-a-an' this time I have t' remember everythin'!"
“S-she she doesn't remember me...w-when she woke up in the morgue he was there t' fill her head up with bullshit again. SHE MADE ME FORGET SHE'S IMMORTAL!"
“What?!" you and Bucky exclaimed at the same time. Steve was too far gone to noticed.
“I-I dunno if I can face 'em at the weddin', (Y/N)!" he panicked, “The first time he touches her in front of me, I'm gonna lose it!"
He buried his face in his hands and you bent down to hug him.
“For eight years, I made it m' personal mission t' save her an' I did! I did! S-she was makin' a real life for herself an' I still can't believe s-she chose t' make it with me....AN' I THREW IT ALL AWAY!"
“Steve, I need you to focus on the present, pal!" Bucky pleaded, “You can't break on us! You still have the team!"
Captain America slammed his fists on the floor, cracking the wood. The range of emotions on his terrified you, but you just held him tighter.
“YA NOT GETTIN' IT! I DON'T WANT THE TEAM! I DON'T WANT T' SAVE THE WORLD OR RISK M' LIFE EVERY DAY!"
His head dropped to the crook of your neck, soaking your shoulder.
“I-I just want m-m-m' family!" he cried, “I want m' wife! I want m' babies! B-but I'll never see 'em again after t'morrow!
Even if if we save, Travis, Li's going t' disappear with, Davis, again an' m' kids'll be put in the foster system because Daemon's their legal guardian an' no judge is gonna say that I'm a stable home for them! I beat up aliens with a thunder god for Pete's sake!
M' wife an' m-m' kids don't know who I am...The last two years of m' life have been a lie...I have nothin', Buck! I lost everythin! AGAIN!"
He pushed off you and grabbed you by the upper arms, squeezing you hard. You wanted to run away from the agony in his eyes, but he was holding you so tight you couldn't.
“WHY'D YA STOP? WHY DIDN'T YA KILL ME?!"
Bucky finally pried his platonic soul mate off of you and, Steve, slumped against the wall. You sat on the bed. Oddly enough, your mutation wasn't escalating the situation. You couldn't get anything from the Captain. His head was completely empty. Bucky took his friend by the shoulders.
“Steve, buddy, listen. I know that place you're going to! You can't do that to yourself!"
A million and one emotions went across Steve's face before it went blank.
“I did it t' m' baby girl..." he whispered, “Why do I deserve any less?"
“No, Steve, god damn it!"
The Captain shut down completely with a familiar “the lights are on but nobody's home" look in his eyes. The one you snapped, Bucky, out of so many times before he learned to do it himself. But you weren't going to be able to get through to, Steve, because it wasn't his head that was abused and broken. Heartbreak is something you cause not fix.
“James, James! Forget it! There's only so much a person can take. It was bad enough when he woke up from the ice, having to rebuild his life from that and then have that life erased, just to remember it all at once? He basically had an atomic bomb dropped on him again."
Bucky sighed, let go, and looked sadly at his friend.
“What's he thinking about?"
“He's not-! I-!"
The Soldier punched a hole in the wall with a growl, and you hurried over to turn him around to face you.
“James Buchanan Barnes, don't you dare! I need you!"
“I'm not, (Y/N), I'm not! It's just, for six years he's been there for me a-and I can't return the favor because he won't let me! I knew that girl was nothing but bad news for him and I-!"
“James, stop! This is no one's fault! You can't help who you fall in love with!"
“Well, what are we gonna do? How are we going to explain to everyone why he's not there tomorrow?"
“Just tell them that Li's death finally got to him and we can't get him out of bed."
You both looked down at the broken man. Bucky picked him up and laid him on the bed. The sergeant took one last look at him before dragging you out of the room with him.
You hit your head on the door, wiping the tears forming in the corners of your eyes. Bucky gently took you in his arms and planted his lips on top of your head.
“Are we officially taking him out of the mission or?"
“No, no I don't feel like dealing with my uncle right now.Let's just go to bed."
He nodded and picked you up to carry you to your bedroom. Half an hour later, both of you were showered and cuddled together in your bed. You raked your hand through your boyfriend's damp hair as he buried his face in your chest. You pretended like you didn't feel him crying against you.
“Bucky bear, I don't wanna be an Avenger anymore..."
“Too late for that, baby doll."