Good Days
‘James Potter you absolute idiot. ’
Harsh , he thought, before conceding that ok, fine maybe there was some truth to it. Still he defended, ‘I’m not an idiot!’
Remus raised his eyebrow.
‘ Fine! I’m a bit of an idiot.’
‘A bit?’
‘Urgh ok ok , a lot of an idiot,’ James planted his head in his hands, ‘An absolute fool really aren’t I?’
Shaking his head in exasperation Remus replied, ‘I wouldn’t go that far I just….what were you thinking James? In a secret relationship with Regulus. Sirius’ brother?’
Feeling a momentary pang of horror at the thought of Sirius knowing he rushed to check, ‘You’re not going to tell him right? You can’t tell him Moony, I know that you tell him everything but this– I, you just..well you know- it can’t happen Remus.’
‘I know Prongs, it’s ok, you know I won’t.’
Relief coursed through him. Realistically, he knew that Remus would keep it a secret. Because that’s what James would do for him. But still, just the thought of Sirius knowing, made James want to bolt. Regulus and Sirius may have been on decent terms, but that didn’t mean things were easy between them, and adding a….whatever was between James and Regulus, into the mix- would just complicate it further. Sirius would be..well mad was probably an understatement.
‘But–’
Nope, no buts. James didn’t want any buts.
‘-you’re going to have to tell him at some point. You can’t just keep it a secret forever. Either you break it off or you tell him, not necessarily now of course, but as i said- at some point.’
And that. No. It..well, James wasn’t really sure what he was feeling, but he knew that it wasn’t good. The thought of breaking it off shouldn’t make him so miserable. He felt, kind of like he had been told that he wasn’t allowed to play quidditch, or fly a broom ever again. It was, in a sense, like his favourite thing had been snatched from him, stealing any contentment and leaving behind only confusion and hurt.
It shouldn’t ache this much should it? The thought of your, well, person (because that was what Regulus was really) being taken from you. He..he should be fine with this, why wasn’t he fine with this?
‘No.’
It was almost unconscious, the way his mouth formed the word. Instantaneous, despite it so often echoing the opposite.
‘No?’ Remus lifted that same eyebrow again, mouth twitching in shock at the intensity in which the word had some out James’ mouth.
‘No,’ he repeated, ‘I’m not breaking it off with him.’
‘..Right…. Are you guys dating?’
‘..No.’
It was truthful, the statement, they weren’t actually dating. In fact, they hadn’t ever really defined what this..thing was. Sure it was snogging and stuff in closets and bedrooms, but it was more than that too- at least for James. Nights in the astronomy tower, notes sent on a daily basis, hours spent just talking- and not only on James’ part- purely to get to know each other. So yeah, they hadn’t really named it, but Regulus (he had decided) was James’ person.
‘So…no okay nevermind I don’t want to know.’
Silence stretched between them and James awkwardly shuffled his feet, for once, lost of what to say.
‘Are you going to tell Sirius then?’
‘No!’
And that was certain, unless James wanted to be shunned by his other half (Reg may be his person but Sirius was, and always was, his platonic soulmate).
‘Godric, okay calm James.’
Again, the conversation fell, and James found himself staring at the floor, wondering how on earth he got into this situation.
‘Do you like..love him?’
No.
No he didn’t love Regulus.
He was not, absolutely not, in love with Regulus.
Cared for him maybe, liked him certainly. But in love with him, no. He shou- couldn’t love him, it wasn’t what this was. This was just a matter of convenience, and desire, and want and definitely not love. And yet, that small persistent part of his brain argued- well if it was only those things then the idea of it ending wouldn’t hurt so, would it? And oh no, James didn’t like this little voice. Because what it said was fair, and logical and he absolutely would be ignoring it until further notice.
He didn't love Regulus.
He didn’t love Regulus.
‘No, no no no, it’s not like that, its–’
His friend looked at him with a level of pity, as if able to read his thoughts- it was probably written all over his face to be honest- ‘It’s what Prongs?’
‘It’s just..’ James struggled for words, unable to define exactly what it was. His head was a bit fuzzy and his thoughts couldn’t seem to form properly, too busy burying, and burying the voice deeper, and deeper. Finally he settled on, ‘-what it is.’
Not a proper answer, he knew, but he wasn’t quite sure he was capable of one of those, not sure he was capable of anything at that point, he felt unusually dizzy, almost like he was going to faint (he wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t going to faint really).
Remus seemed to understand. He always did. That was one of the things James loved about him.
Loved. That word. He–
No.
No he was not doing this, not now.
Gathering the remaining scraps of thoughts that prevailed beyond his denial, he recalled, ‘Hold on, you said you wanted to talk about something private, is everything okay.’
Giving a wry chuckle at his abrupt change of subject Remus said, ‘Oh yeah it’s fine its just my–’
‘Furry little problem?’
Remus sighed, ‘Yes that. I was just checking that you were still up for it and all, being that it falls the day of the match. I know you said that you were ok with it but–’
‘Remus.’
‘Yeah.’
‘It’s fine, I’m happy to do it, don’t worry about it.’
‘But what about the after party?’ Remus protested.
‘You seem very sure that we’ll win, we might not.’
‘James there is no way in hell you’re not winning.’
James sighed, of course he was really really praying they won, but there was no point in unnecessarily getting his hopes up- it would likely lead to disappointment. ‘If you say so Rem. But anyway, even if we do win and there is an after party, we’ll just start it early- the match in the morning anyway- and leave early. No one will notice..they’ll probably be too drunk to pay attention anyway. And even if they do, they’ll probably just assume we’re up to a prank.’ he chuckled at the thought.
‘Fine.’ Remus relented, ‘But if you change your mind.’
‘I’ll let you know,’ James assured.
Remus seemed to have a bit of a guilt issue when it came to them helping out at the full. It was ridiculous really, they hadn’t gone through the long (and excruciating) task of becoming animagus, just for nothing. They had done it for him. By now, Moony was well accustomed to them anyway, and the chances of them getting hurt were pretty minimal. James supposed that if the positions were swapped he would feel something of the same though, so he couldn’t blame Remus too much (just gently remind him that he was wrong).
‘Right,’ he started, ‘I guess we better go.’
‘Mhmm, Sirius and Pete are waiting for us near McGonagall’s classroom.’
Ah yes. The issue of Sirius. Another thing to deposit at the back of his bran, and ignore at all costs.
‘Hey um, did Padfoot see–’
‘I’ve got the map Prongs,’ Remus confirmed, already knowing what James was going to ask, ‘He didn’t see a thing.’
James let out an involuntary sigh of relief and Remus shook his head in blatant exasperation, ‘You do need to tell him at some point James, you can’t jus–’
But Jame ignored him and strode out the classroom calling back to him, ‘Sorry, can’t delay Minne awaits.’
There was a loud sigh, before the sound of footsteps began to follow him out.
. . . .
There wasn’t time to meet again that week.
Despite what Regulus had said about expecting to see him that evening, their plans got cancelled due to the sudden appearance of ministry officials in the school. It wasn’t unusual, they came every five or so years to check everything was of a perfect standard (all the children were still alive and the teachers were teaching what they were meant to be).
The issue was that one of said officials happened to be Mr Barty Crouch- senior. Now, James obviously didn’t know the details (that was personal information that Regulus wouldn’t share and James hadn’t asked him to) but he understood that Barty’s relationship with his father was much like that of Regulus and his mother. Ultimately, a very strained and painful one. So of course, Regulus pulled out with the knowledge that Barty was likely in need of a distraction.
James didn’t blame him for this at all. He understood the situation all too well- having pulled out of multiple arrangments to comfort Sirius after holidays or letters from home). In fact, he was really just angry at Barty Crouch Sr, for being such a shitty parent, that he could hardly qualify as one at all.
He did, however, feel robbed of the opportunity to see Regulus, and spent the next few days stealing glances at him across the corridors and small touches as he passed him by.
It wasn’t enough.
Though it had only been days since they had talked, James missed him desperately. He felt as if a large part of him had been ripped away, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with what remained. He missed him so much in fact, that Sirius and Peter actually sat him down and asked him if he was ok (they were good friends like that). He didn’t know how to reply. So he lied.
Remus knew.
He didn’t say anything.
When he wasn't thinking of Regulus- and his hair, and his eyes and those bloody cheekbones that he is sure could slice glass clean in two- he was thinking of the match.
Between the two, he was utterly consumed in a whirlwind of thoughts. So retreated on his inner self that sometimes he would forget to talk or to eat. It followed a relentless pattern of:
…I need to tell Marlene to fly lower…
Regulus.
..Shit, what was the margin we have to win by again….
Regulus.
..If we don’t win this match then we’re still guaranteed third or second place..
Regulus.
….Unless Ravenclaw beat Slytherin..
Regulus.
..No, they can’t not when they have Regulus as a seeker…
Regulus
Regulus
Regulus.
James was so busily immersed in thoughts of the other boy, as well as practising pretty much every waking hour, that it was Friday before he knew it, it was only a day from the match.
Strangely, he was almost relieved at the proximity, at least he could get it done and guarantee their standings.
His team stood on the pitch, having spent the last two hours flying their absolute hardest in preparation.
He took a deep breath, preparing himself for his infamous pep talk that he delivered every match. It was long, monotonous even, but necessary.
‘Ok team.’
Marlene and Sirius snickered already knowing what was coming next (they had been subjected to this speech for years now).
‘This is it–’
‘The big one,’ he glared at Marlene and she gave him an innocent grin, sighing he continued, ‘It’s our chance to cement our position as top of the league. If we win this–’
‘We guarantee ourselves first or second place.’ He turned his scowl to Sirius instead, who was wearing a near perfect replica of Marlene’s expression (honestly those two could be brother and sister for how similar they were).
‘Yes. Yes we do, and I believe we are fully capable of it. This is the best team we have had in years, and may ever have for that matter. If we can’t win now, we may never.’
‘Well that’s encouraging,’ Orman muttered, his interruption making James sizably more irritable than the other two had.
‘As I was saying,’ he gave Orman a dirty look, ‘This is one of the best opportunities we’ve had, and I believe in all of you, I believe that you will try your hardest and succeed. Leianna, Hufflepuff’s seeker is fresh and unpracticed and a little unseasoned, now I’m not saying you should take advantage of that or anything but–’
‘I should totally take advantage of it.’ She finished, matching his grin.
‘Exactly. Marlene, Sirius, I want you pelting bludgers like your life depends on it, their beaters are good- really good, make sure to keep the bludgers away from our team, I’d rather we are all kept uninterrupted and uninjured than you manage to distract or take out their whole team…ok?’
‘Ay ay Cap.’
‘Shut it Pads. On that note, Orman,’ said boy raised his eyebrows.
‘What.’
‘When I tell you what to do in a match I need you to do something for me ok.’
‘What?’
‘ Listen! Use your fucking ears- Life blessed you with big ones and you don’t fucking use them. Oh, and stop telling people what to do, I may need glasses but I’m pretty sure I don’t see a badge that says “Captain” on your robes. Is there one?....No ok, then feel free to give suggestions, but don’t bloody give instructions. You. Are not. In charge. Got it?’
Orman's had gone red in the face, fuming at the insults that James had (ok maybe) laid it on a bit thick.
‘Got it,’ he gritted out, looking thoroughly humiliated, and maybe, just maybe, James had gone a bit far. He felt sort of bad now– only sort of though, the guy was a jerk.
James took a deep breath feeling slightly relieved that it was over and finished, ‘Benjy, Vesta- We know that their chasers are some of the best, we need to be on absolute top form. So Benjy that means you need to stay open, don’t get ahead of yourself. Vesta, take the opportunities you are given, if you have a line to goal shoot- take it, don’t hesitate. And I,’ he took a deep breath, realising he hadn’t taken once in a while ‘I need to pass more…I think that covers everything..anyone got anything else to say?’
No one on the team said anything, other than Orman who mumbled something under his breath which sounded awfully like ‘Thinks he knows better than us, prick,’ but hey, James may have heard wrong.
‘Right ok then, I want you all to get a good night's sleep- look I know it's hard, I struggle too, but it makes a difference. I’ll see you all for breakfast tomorrow.’
He nodded to them and strode off towards the changing rooms, a light feeling in his chest as he thought towards the game.
‘Well said Prongs, like a true quidditch maestro you are.’
He grinned at Sirius, ‘Thanks Pads, just hoping all goes to plan.’
All they had to do was win.
. . . .
Trepidation coursed through James, his body alight with anxiety.
The match was in one hour.
Currently the team was sitting at the table, head down, eating regulated amounts of food (aka James was making sure that they were eating enough to keep them going- he would never stop them from eating anything). He himself hadn't eaten a single thing (hypocritical he knew) and didn’t seem to have the ability to keep still.
He was always like this before a match. Fidgety, constantly moving, trying to distract himself so he didn’t go into panic mode. It wasn’t that he was scared or anything. He wasn’t going to die if he lost. He just— really wanted to win. Plus, it helped his body prepare for the match, there wasn’t a single still moment in quidditch.
‘James, eat for the love of god.’ That was Peter, always one to monitor James’ well being, he appreciated it, but currently was only going to ignore his advice.
‘I will, I will,’ he assured distractedly, eyes skating the hall for the one person he really wanted to see. Where was he, the–
There.
Walking in, Evan and Barty on either side, hair impeccable as always, tie straight- but a little loose and shirt neatly tucked. Oh he looked so pretty. So perfectly pretty. Like a statue of some Greek god or a painting made to be displayed to royalty. The sad thing was, that when he didn’t look perfect- when his hair was a mess, tie wonky and loosened up and shirt untucked and rumpled, when he looked utterly dishevelled, he looked even prettier. Only James got to see him like that, and he treasured those moments like they were more important than anything else. Probably because they were to James. So, so precious.
‘James,’ Remus nudged him, ‘You're staring mate.’
He blinked, realising that he had in fact been staring and that Regulus had now sat down next to Dorcas and was in the middle of a conversation. And that he probably had been for a while too.
‘I was not staring, Moony,’ he hissed, receiving only a snort and a muttered ‘Sure you weren’t’ in response.
Of course, Sirius then decided to butt in, ‘Oooh ooh whose he staring at, whose he staring at.’ Remus patted his head gently and his eyes closed momentarily in bliss, ‘Sirius love, you’re like a bloody puppy, you are a bloody puppy for that matter.’
Peter snorted, and Sirius glared at him, then James- who was entirely innocent, and smiled in a dopey manner at Remus- who had made the comment in the first place. Absolutely whipped he was.
‘No one.’ James stressed, because again, Sirius could never know that he was, in fact, staring at his little brother. Unless James wanted to be chased around the school for the next hour or so (which he didn’t).
As he looked back down to his empty plate, his eyes snagged back on Regulus across the room. The other boy blinked. Once. Twice. Three times.
James glanced at his friends. Sirius was, thankfully, taken in a conversation with Remus- which meant he wasn’t going to be paying anyone attention for the next ten minutes. Peter, was having an in depth conversation with Marlene about the odds of the match (he liked to set up bets before the game and was actually quite good on it- he had once bet against gryffindor in an effort to win, and ironically it was one of the few games they had lost) and the rest of his team mates were all having there own conversation- bar Orman who Leianna had just told to fuck off after he claimed that he could be a better seeker than her, despite the multitude of games she had won them.
Seeing them all otherwise engaged, he pulled the charmed paper from his conveniently located pocket.
Have you eaten James?
Hmm. It seemed that Regulus knew him too well. Of course he knew that he hadn’t eaten- and James was sure that if he lied to him in reply, Regulus would know that too. He tried anyway.
Yep.
James.
Urgh, yep James knew this would happen, Regulus was too fucking smart for his own good.
Ok fine no.
Eat, James.
I will I will.
And unlike earlier he genuinely meant it this time. He couldn’t deny Regulus anything.
Good.
Is that it, just a few demands and you're done?
Fine…Good luck James, I hope your match goes well.
….that's it?
He grinned, almost able to hear Regulus sigh over the hustle and bustle of the great hall.
Fine, I hope you win.
Wow, that was such a heartfelt and sincere declaration. It brought me to tears Reg, to tears!
I take it back. I hope you lose and are utterly humiliated, regain your confidence in the face of your next match only to be thrashed by our team.
..Wow Reg, you really know how to make a man feel good about himself huh.
Whatever, I’ve got to go.
See you later?
Won’t you have an after party?
Yeah but I was gonna ditch it early anyway and I might as well just leave an extra hour or so earlier so that I can see you. Only if you want though.
Of course James. I just don’t want you to leave a party early for me.
I’d do anything for you Regulus.
There was a pause following his statement, and James wondered if he had come on a bit too strong. It wasn’t as if they had promised romantic feelings or anything, it didn’t have to be a big deal- so why was James’ heart hammering desperately in his chest?
What time?
And there. Not necessarily an acknowledgment of what he’s said, but a reassurance that it didn't change anything. And that was all that mattered..right?
Err I’m not sure, the match will probably finish by like 1 or something, and then I was planning on staying at the party for like two hours. So maybe three?
Three then.
At the RoR right?
Yes James.
See you then !!
See you then James.
‘What’cha got there?’ Sirius made a snatch at the parchment and James swerved quickly and pocketed it before it could be inspected.
‘Nothing, it’s nothing,’ he rushed to reply before grabbing a piece of toast and an egg. Reg was right, he did really need to eat.
Sirius raised his eyebrow at the action, ‘Something finally convinced you to eat huh?’
‘Just my own common sense kicking in before it was too late,’ Jame said, before stuffing his face with the food in the hope of avoiding further questions.
Somehow, it worked- and before too long the team was on their way to the changing room and James was undergoing his pre-match stretches (it seemed tedious, but he knew in the long run it would be for the better). He was sure that they could win this match, and though he didn’t want to boost his own ego, felt as if he had trained the team well. They had already won one match by a large margin (though it was against Ravenclaw who had arguably the worst team- likely because most of the house preferred more intellectual past-times– though they did have some brilliant players) and so were well in the lead. However, Hufflepuff was a tough team to play against, and it was likely going to be a close call. Their last match was then going to be against Slytherin, which was honestly always the most tense quidditch game Hogwarts held.
So yeah, a lot was riding on this match, for James anyway, and he had lost himself in his thoughts for at least five minutes before Padfoot nudged him gently.
‘Prongs we’ve got ten minutes, so anything you want to say, and I know you will, say it now.’
Shit, James thought, ten minutes really wasn’t a long time. He could feel the nerves building up inside him and the restless energy that inhabited him before a game had begun to kick in. But he didn’t let any of this show, he had to put on a confident front- for the team.
‘Well guys, I know that this might not be an easy game, but we’ve trained hard and we’re going to give it our best shot. We have it in us to win, and I know that we can. All the same, if we don’t win, don’t come down too hard on yourself, this is a team sport– you individually will not be responsible for the loss. I know it can be easy to forget in a game, trust me I do it too, but you can rely on each other. If we work well as a team we have a higher likelihood of winning.’ He paused, looking around carefully at each and everyone of his teammates, ‘And one last thing, don’t hesitate to call timeout if something is wrong, it won’t affect our score, I don’t want you guys running yourself to the ground either. Push yourself to the limit, yes, but don’t surpass it.’
They nodded their heads at him grinning in anticipation, and James felt a surge of pride.
This was his team.
He was their captain.
He may have sometimes found it a stressful role, but that didn’t mean it didn’t fill him with an transcendent joy every game, every time he was in the air in fact. He wasn’t sure anything could ever match up to it. Not even Regulus.
Regulus.
Nope, not before the game. He absolutely could not be distracted in the game.
He took a deep breath and grabbed his goggles, stuffing them in his pocket (the weather may have been fine then but he knew how fast it could change) he then charmed his glasses so that they wouldn’t fall of in the game (it had taken him like 6 months to work out that charm– with the help of Wormy, Moony and Pads of course– and he was eternally grateful for it because beforehand he had been forced to wear contact lenses, which he really really hated the feeling of).
‘I’m just going to take a step outside for a minute guys, I'll be back in a sec.’
It was customary for James to take a minute or so alone before every match. It helped him steady his thoughts and calm his nerves, allowing him to move into a sort of state in which he was impossible to distract. It was almost like he zoned out on anything else and focused solely on the game. Sounded weird he knew, but it worked for him.
He had been standing there, round the back of the changing room, for all of thirty seconds when a hand lightly brushed his shoulder and he jumped back in shock.
For a second he assumed Sirius had followed him round, coming to check up on him. But then he looked again, and the hair was shorter, body lither, and most importantly, the figure was dressed not in red– but green.
‘Regulus.’
The other boy smiled.
‘That is my name, yes.’
James blinked, ‘How did you know I was here?’
Regulus seemed a little confused by the question, as if the answer was entirely obvious, ‘Well you come here before every match do you not?’
James paused, unsure, ‘Uh yes.’
‘Well that's why,’ Regulus stated, as if he hadn’t just doubled the speed at which James’ heart was pumping. As if he hadn’t just tilted the motion of James’ world ever so slightly.
‘But–’
‘I have eyes, love,’ and oh when Regulus called him that he fell to pieces just a little. It was a rare occurrence, but everytime, it was like the first. Magic.
He knew he had only a minute or two before he had to re-enter the changing rooms, but as the other boy slowly inched closer, his hand grazed his cheek, James couldn’t find it in himself to care. ‘Why are you here,’ he whispered, voice weak and shaky.
‘Because you are.’
Oh.
James wasn’t sure what to say after that, his head in a turmoil and thoughts just as jumbled as they had been all week, so his mirrored Regulus’ stance and leant forward, so their faces were inches apart– breaths mingling in the cold air. The kiss that followed was soft, tender almost and it made him a little weak in the knees at just how careful Regulus was being with him.
They broke apart after much too short a time and James found himself grinning, ‘Are you going to wish me good luck darling?’
Regulus hummed in consideration, ‘I might, though I’m not sure it would benefit Slytherin if you won– or me for that matter.’
‘Yes but it would make me happy.’
‘Oh well in that case–’
‘Prongs?....you coming…we’ve got two minutes.’
James sighed, as always with Regulus, he never wanted their time together to come to an end, would much rather stay as they were forever. For eternity. Alas, life got in the way. He leaned back down to give Regulus one last peck on the lips before heading back to the changing rooms. Before he could move more a step away, however, Regulus’ hand shot out and clasped his wrist.
‘James.’
‘Yes?’
‘Good luck.’
And then the younger boy took off, walking back towards the pitch up towards (presumably) the Slytherin stands- leaving James to contemplate for only seconds before another yell came:
‘PRONGS, what the fuck are you doing? We have one minute!! ’
Mumbling back apologies as he stepped back into the room with his team, he took a deep breath. Despite not spending a moment strictly “alone”, he felt more settled than ever. Regulus tended to have that effect.
‘Right team, Let’s thrash them.’
. . . .
They had been playing for around two hours, and still neither team was close to winning.
The weather had worsened over the course of the game, and soon James found himself putting on goggles and casting spells on his robes to keep them soaking through. The torrential rain, of course, made it largely impossible for the seekers to locate the snitch. He didn’t blame them for it of course (he knew that Leianna had a brilliant eye for it and was doing the absolute best she could) but still it was getting rather tiresome.
Gryffindor was losing.
Because as good as James had got his team, the Hufflepuffs had got theirs just as good- and their keeper was brilliant. They were catching up of course, but it wasn’t quite enough.
Despite this, he was on pretty good form, he thought, and had decided it was absolutely nothing to do with his rendezvous with Regulus before the game. Definitely not.
‘ James, on your left, ’ he heard a yell from above and quickly ducked as a bludger was sent spiralling his way. Sirius and Marlene had done an exceptional job of keeping them away from the players during the match, and in turn kept pelting the back at the opposition. It still wasn’t quite enough to tip the scales though.
Looking right, he spotted an opening and dived down as a hufflepuff chaser raced towards their goal. Though he trusted Orman to block it (as much as he was irritated by the guy, he was a good keeper) it was better to intercept- it meant a chance for Gryffindor to score too.
Swooping in from above, he knocked into the player and felt a jolt of exhilaration as they fumbled the quaffle. This was his opportunity. Deftly, he grabbed it from their hands as they scrambled to keep a hold of it and turned sharply towards the opposite goals. He saw out of the corner of his eye, Vesta slot into position, unguarded by the opposition. Though he would have liked to keep the quaffle, he knew this was a golden opportunity and feinted to right before chucking it towards her- knowing she would catch it.
James bolted across the pitch towards the goals, lining up in case Vesta missed (though that was unlikely) to catch a rebound. At the last minute however, a chaser from the other team blocked her and the quaffle slipped from her hands. Reflexively James dived, his body tilting towards the ground in a steep dive. The crowd was yelling, a sea of gasps and shouts– but he couldn’t hear a thing. The only thing he could see or think of was the quaffle- of catching it.
A player dove in from the left but he bypassed them quickly- flying at a speed he never had before, his hand stretching out until it grasped the edge of the ball. Quickly he swung up and looped it under his arm, heart pumping from the deathly dive.
During the drop, he had lost the chaser tailing him, so he took the opportunity and raced towards the hoops, adrenaline coursing through him. As he reached the goals he felt a chaser- the same one from earlier- catch up with him, and move in to grab the ball. This is my chance, he thought. He took a sharp breath and threw.
It was impulsive.
He hadn’t had time to aim or to process, just to throw.
It relied purely on instinct. Instinct, crafted after years and years of practice, practice and determination.
He scored.
The crowd screamed, a mass of red cheering as the quaffle went through the goals.
He had done it. James had done it. Now all they needed was to catch the snitch before Hufflepuff did. As if in answer to his wish, Leianna suddenly raced past him, the other seeker right on her tail. Within seconds, she pulled to a stop, the tiny golden snitch in her hand. The crowd got even louder upon noticing her catch, the Gryffindors roaring in victory, their cheers thunderous.
James glanced over to the scoreboard.
320 - 310
Gryffindor had won by 10 points. Only seconds before they had been on 160, which would have led to a draw. But James scored. They won because James scored.
His team seemed to realise this at the same moment he did and crowded round both him and Leianna, still in the air, cheering in triumph.
They had won.
They had won.
As soon as they were on the ground, Sirius leaped at him and engulfed him in a hug. ‘YOU DID IT PRONGS!!’ he yelled over the deafening noise of the crowd, ‘YOU FUCKING WON IT FOR US.’
James wasn’t sure he had ever felt this happy. The elation he felt was unmatched, unmatchable even. He felt as if even the memory of this day would make him permanently happy. He could never be sad again.
. . . .
James was a bit drunk.
Not overly drunk of course, he had to be clear headed for this evening, but he was still a bit drunk- tipsy really.
And in this tipsy state, he was confused. Because why wasn’t Regulus here, Regulus should be here. He should be here, James wanted him here– why wasn’t he here? He should be celebrating with them .
It was then that James remembered that he was supposed to be meeting Regulus, which was good, very good. He wanted to see him.
He was sober enough to remember to stumble up to the dormitory and grab the map– a drunk, angry Sirius confrontation was the last thing he needed– but escaping the party was a little bit more difficult.
You see, for that day, James was Gryffindor’s hero. He had won them that match with his last goal, and they weren’t just going to let their victor leave. So James sought out Remus.
Predictably, he had spent the entire evening with Sirius, only deviating now to have a conversation with Lily. James took this brief moment to shuffle over and whisper, ‘ Moony , Moony I need your help.’
Remus groaned and Lily grinned, ‘What Prongs,’ he muttered irritably, miserably sober and tightly strung due to the proximity of the full.
‘I need your help,’ he hissed back, frowning when Lily stifled a laugh (what was so funny?).
Sighing again Remus replied, ‘Yes that’s obvious James, but with what?’
James thought for a moment, wondering quite what to say, ‘I need to get out of here.’
The taller boy’s (a fact which still miffed James) eyebrows shot up, ‘You want to get out of here. Of the Party thrown in honour of your victory where there is an endless supply of alcohol and food and music- of where Sirius is?’ he stressed the last bit as if it was the most determining factor, which ok was fair.
‘Yes,’ he mumbled, pausing for a moment before muttering, ‘I’m going to meet Regulus.’
‘What was that?’
‘I said, I’m going to meet Regulus ,’ James repeated, only a fraction louder, not wanting anyone else to hear.
He heard a soft huff of surprise from his right and glanced over to remember, yup Lily was right there. Oops. Oh well, it wasn’t as if she wasn’t going to work it out eventually anyway– she was much too smart for her own good (though could be mightily oblivious if you took in the way she hadn’t caught on to the fact that Mary Mcdonalds eyes had been tracking her across the room for the past two hours).
Remus let out a breathy laugh, ‘Fine, I’ll get Sirius to create a distraction,’ he noticed James’ panicked expression, ‘ Unknowingly.’
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you!!’ James rushed out, before hurrying over to the portrait hole and waiting as unobtrusively as he could (a hard task for him he was aware). Once out of it, he would be able to slip on his cloak, but in the crowded room, the action would hardly go unnoticed. He tapped his leg impatiently, any second now and someone would not his presence, Remus better hurry up–
Aha. Remus was nothing if not a genius.
‘Moony, moony, moony– it's Killer Queen!!’
Killer Queen was Sirius's favourite song. A fact which was known by all of Gryfindor at the least, and of course at a party if it came on, he invariably took the opportunity to get up upon the nearest table (bench/chair/anything that would make him taller (he once got on Remus’ shoulder which was the funniest experience of James’ life)) and sang his absolute heart out. Luckily, for all who were present, Sirius was actually a very good singer and would grasp the attention of anyone within at least 100m radius.
Perfect.
James waited for him to get about 10 seconds into the song, before slipping out of the portrait hole, overlooked by the crowd.
After that it took him about 20 minutes to reach the desired location (mostly because of the obscene amount of stairs in the way– and partially because he was stumbling ever so slightly as he went). He took a deep sigh of relief as he got there, walked back and forth three or so times and then stepped out into the Room of Requirement.
Immediately he spotted a figure, clad in emerald green, draped oh so elegantly over the sofa by the fire.
The room was their usual one, a cosy, warm place decorated with astronomical hangings (that was totally catered to Regulus) and a large red tapestry which was decorated with mindless swirls (probably James). The room was furnished by a huge log fire, two plush sofas and a snug armchair, and finally a large bed with both red and green curtains. It was an odd assortment of things- and the combination of colours made it look almost themed for christmas- and yet it was so…them. It just worked. It made them both feel at home. A sensation which James knew to be regular to him, but disastrously uncommon for Regulus. That was something he aimed to change.
Regulus immediately noticed his presence, he was stupidly (delightfully) observant, and leaped up- so abrupt that James could only think that something must be wrong.
‘Reg?’ He hesitated, not sure what to ask, ‘Regulus are you oka–’
He was cut off by the other boy’s body slamming into his in a hug so tight, it knocked the air out of him. Regulus legs lifted off the ground, curling around his waist as he squeezed him so tightly. Normally of course, he would have revelled in the blatant affection Regulus was giving him, and he certainly wasn’t complaining, but you see…he was a bit drunk. And when he was a bit drunk, he was a bit clumsy and a bit unsteady. So the weight of the other boy colliding into him was just enough to unbalance him, sending him stumbling back over his own feet and tumbling to the ground. And Regulus with him.
They both let out a gasp as the air was knocked from their lungs, colliding forcefully with the hard stone floor.
‘Sorry, sorry,’ chased Regulus, pushing himself up onto his arms, placing them either side of his head– a move which James was totally not distracted by. No, not at all. ‘It’s just, you were amazing, absolutely brilliant, I’ve never seen you fly so well– scratch that– I;ve never seen anyone fly so well,’ he breathed out in a tone of something like awe.
And oh did that fill James with something so inanely fond, settling somewhere comfortably right in the depths of his heart.
‘ Regulus. ’ He whispered, his voice shaky and high.
‘You were spectacular James, phenomenal even.’ Regulus continued, completely disregarding James’ wobbly reply, ‘For a moment I thought you were going to crash and I was scared James,’ he admitted, ‘I was worried about you…I don’t want you hurt.’ Again, James felt himself melting because Regulus cared about him- something that was inextricably linked to the stuttering increase of his heart rate. ‘And then James,’ he went on, ‘I was so fucking proud because you did it, you fucking did it- you won the game. You could beat anyone, you know, you were that good.’
‘Even you?’ James asked slowly, not wanting Regulus to stop, not ever wanting him to stop.
‘ Especially me James, I wouldn’t stand a chance against you love, I never did.’
A soft sigh exited ames’ mouth as he absorbed Regulus’ words, ‘I don’t think I’ve actually ever heard you talk so much.
The other boy let out a shaky laugh until James continued, ‘Unless you count that time when I asked you about your favourite book– I’m pretty sure that rant lasted about 2 hours, not that I was complaining,’ he grinned.
At that Regulus scowled to hide his overt grin and flicked him on the nose, ‘..And you’ve ruined the moment.’ He started to get up, only for James to pull right back down with a little frown, ‘Wait, wait where’you going?’
He huffed, ‘James I'm getting up, we’re on the floor, I’m not staying on the floor.’
James pouted, ‘But I'm down here.’ Why did Regulus want to move away from him? He’d just got here.
‘Well I was presuming you would get up too, no?’
Pausing James considered, ‘I’m not sure I can.’ That much was true. Now that he had lain down, the dizziness had set in, and the roof was spinning ever so slightly. To walk around normally was one thing, but to get up off the floor– impossible.
There was a beat of silence and then– ‘James are you drunk?’
‘.....No?’
The younger boy sighed and knelt down next to James. For a second, James was ecstatic at the return of his presence until he slipped his arms under James’ body and gently lifted him up. From there he tucked him close to his body and walked quickly over to the sofa, before gently depositing him there. Now, James wasn’t all that light (being pretty muscular) but Regulus was surprisingly strong despite his slim figure– something James was struggling not to find attractive.
As it turned out, he failed, and almost immediately voiced his thoughts, ‘You know the fact you can do that is very attractive.’
Regulus raised an eyebrow and cocked his head– hot– ‘Is it now?’ amusement evident in his voice.
‘Very.’ James confirmed.
‘You shouldn’t have told me that James, I am absolutely going to abuse that from now on.’
‘Oh you’re going to take advantage of me are you,’ Gods James was loving this, he adored flirting with Regulus- his favourite pastime really (other than kissing Regulus, or annoying Regulus or..anything with Regulus really).
‘Only if you want me to.’
James groaned and tossed back his head onto the sofa pillow, tugging insistently at the figure hovering over him, ‘Yes, yes I do very much want you too.’
‘Is that right?’ Regulus was crowding in closer now, his knees on each side of James’ hips, practically sat in his lap.
‘Yes, god yes.’
‘Hmm.’ Regulus hummed, his voice low- and James was going to need him to stop that right now because the shivers it sent down his spine were ungodly. Again, James latched his hand to Regulus’ loose shirt, reeling him in until their faces were hovering inches apart- waiting for him to close the gap.
‘Well then, I might as well do that, but only if you ask me nicely.’
‘ Please. ’ James all but whined, his voice strained. And apparently Regulus liked that very much because no sooner than the word had left his mouth, had he crashed his lips onto his, sliding his hands into his hair.
Merlin, James was in absolute heaven, the euphoria he had felt earlier coming rushing back so vigorously that he grinned into the kiss. This had the opposite effect than desired though, because unable to kiss him properly, Regulus pulled back, surveying the boy he was turning to absolute ruins lying beneath him. Evidently pleased with his view, Regulus dived back in for another heated kiss before burying his head in James neck, moving his lips slowly to what he knew to be James’ weak spot.
‘ Regulus.’ James moaned as his lazily sucked at the spot just below his jaw, ‘ Regulus I ne–’
Clearly Regulus had no concern in what James needed and just travelled his lips back up James' jaw before rejoining their mouths together, humming in satisfaction at the first breach of their tongue. It was only when James pulled his hands from under him and grappled in an attempt to remove his shirt the Regulus paused.
‘James love, you’re a bit drunk.’
James groaned, ‘Yes but–’
‘I- I can’t know that you’re quite in your right mind at the moment, so it can’t go any further than this.’
‘But I do want to–’
‘James.’ Regulus berated lightly, and he sighed in reply- ‘Fine but you’re going to kiss me again.’
The other boy raised his eyebrows, ‘Am I now?’
‘Yes, yes you are.’ James said simply, before threading his hand through his black curly hair and jerking him back down for another kiss.
There wasn’t a whole lot of talking after that.
. . . .
‘Prongs where the fuck have you been.’
‘..err..taking a nap?’
It wasn’t exactly a lie, James thought as he stood sheepishly in front of Sirius and Peter (Remus already having gone off to the hospital wing). He had taken a nap just..with Regulus. And after kissing Regulus. A lot.
‘Taking a nap.’ Peter repeated, his deadpan expression showing his obvious disbelief.
‘Yep.’
‘For three hours?’
Shit. Had it been that much time already, he was supposed to have been here like an hour ago. Dammit, he always lost track of time when he was with Reg. Mostly because he couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything other than..well Regulus.
‘Yep,’ he echoed, hoping to sound remotely confident and sure of what he was saying, ‘I got drunk and tired so I took a nap.’
Sirius narrowed his eyes, looking at him suspiciously, ‘And you took the map with you..why?’
‘Errr, I’m not sure.’
Peter frowned, ‘You’re not sure why you took the map.’
‘Yep,’ was this the third time he’d said that? ‘As I said, I was drunk, not completely in the right state of mind to know what I was doing.’
‘Righht,’ Sirius paused, ’and this would have nothing to do with the hickey on your neck,’ he said, looking pointedly at the spot on his neck.
Reflexively, James slapped his hand to the spot under his jaw where Regulus had been nestled only hours earlier and winced when he came into contact with what was very obviously, a hickey. Fuck. Fuck. Oh he was so screwed. Now Sirius would find out and gods he’d be absolutely dead. Utterly, wholly, dead.
‘So.. when were you going to tell us.’
Shit, shit, shit.
‘Tell you what,’ James replied evenly (hoping his voice wasn’t shaking) feigning nonchalance.
‘That you have a secret girlfriend!’ Sirius burst out, looking extraordinarily excited
Girlfriend . Right, he could work with this. It would make excuses a lot easier for sure, but did James really want to pretend he had a secret girlfriend? He wasn't even sure if his secret boyfriend was actually his boyfriend. He didn’t really have a choice, and his friends wouldn’t know any better (besides Remus and now Lily) as he had never actually come out to them– not because he was nervous or anything, he just didn’t really feel the need to.
‘Ah yes, secret girlfriend, I have a secret girlfriend ok.’
Peter and Sirius looked at him dumbfounded at his less than convincing answer (he really needed to work on that), ‘So..who is she?’
‘Umm that kinda undermines the idea of it being secret does it not?’ James stuttered out.
‘Oh come one you can tell us. Is it Lily, is that why you can properly hold a conversation with her now, unlike last year when you were a spluttering mess.’ Sirius asked, all too eagerly.
‘No, I cannot tell you - there is a reason our..relationship is secret. Also no, it is not Lily, I can hold a conversation with her because I am now her friend. And I am thoroughly offended by your interpretation of last year me. I was not a spluttering mess.’
‘You were James, accept it,’ confirmed Peter.
‘Urgh I hate you guys.’
‘Mhmm, evidently. But you know who you don’t hate?’
James sighed, knowing- unfortunately- what the end to Sirius's sentence was going to be, ‘Who?’
‘Your secret girlfriend,’ he replied in a sing-songy tone, ‘Are you sure you can’t tell us who–’
‘Padfoot.’
The other boy groaned, ‘Fine, if you want to betray me and lie to me, do so. But make sure your girlfriend knows that I came first, and I am always going to be the first woman in your life.’
‘Padfoot,’ Jame admonished, shaking his head at irony- because that was exactly what his “secret girlfriend” thought anyway, despite his best efforts to show it wasn’t true, that he cared for them equally. ‘I’ll let hi– her know, don’t you worry,’ he conceded, not bothering to argue.
‘Guys, shouldn’t we get going,’ reminded Peter, ever aware of the time (James swore that he had neve been late to one thing in his life, not even after carrying out an elaborate prank would he be seen over a minute behind to his classes).
‘Ah thanks Wormy, we don’t want to be late for Moony’s time of the month.’
‘I can’t wait to tell him about Prongs’ secret girlfriend,’ Sirius snickered, ‘I bet he’ll find it hilarious.’
James sighed, ‘I’m sure he will Pads.’
What on earth had he got himself into.