Whit Coutell / Reader - Part 2
You smiled at Scott reassuringly and asked him what you could do to make him a bit more comfortable. He told you that he was cold so you grabbed took a quick look around to see if there was anything that you could have used as a blanket. However you couldn't find anything but random debris from the avalanche and after going through your options and thinking about them for a while, you decided not to give him your winter coat. Yes, it would have been chivalrous and for that reason the idea had crossed your mind but you knew that there was no point since Scott was going to die fairly soon anyway and you had to think about your own survival. Besides, Whit was alive and you had a feeling that he wouldn't get himself to safety without you.
Yeah, sure, he talked big game about survival and considered himself a strong guy who enjoyed challenging himself and didn't shy away from danger. Even now, after surviving the avalanche just barely and getting injured he didn't seem too worried. Actually his attitude was a bit too casual to your liking but then again, it was also possible that the filmmaker was in shock and couldn't quite comprehend the seriousness of the situation. For example he most likely did not realize that his groupies were dead... or maybe he did but just didn't care about anything else but himself and his career as a filmmaker.
- I'm sorry, I can't find anything to use as a blanket. you mumbled after returning to Scott from your short scouting mission. "And I can't give you my jacket" you stated with a regretful tone and then added with a sincere voice "I would love to, but-"
- The first rule of survival, (Y/N). Scott spoke with a hoarse, nearly inaudible voice and started to cough so violently that his broken body shook and his eyes filled with tears. "Never jeopardize your own safety for someone else" he said eventually after emptying his throat from blood. You knew this but now, seeing your mentor in such terrible state and for the first time in your life being thrown in a situation where a simple reckless and thoughtless decision could mean the difference between life and death, you weren't sure if you were strong enough to make hard decisions... to be selfish when being emphatic and altruistic was your natural reaction. "Especially when there is someone who is counting on you" he stated because you looked very hesitant and unfocused.
- Yes, Whit is alive. you mumbled and recoiled from your thoughts.
It was not easy to keep yourself in contact to the reality when all you wanted was to escape it. Your body was numb and sore at the same time, your head hurt and your mind wanted to just refuse accepting what had happened. You were in a shock, in a state of denial, basically expecting to wake up from this terrible nightmare and at the same time afraid that this was no dream and you couldn't run away from it. You knew what to do, you had trained for this moment and you knew the theory of survival in winter conditions by heart but instead of feeling ready and well-prepared, you felt paralyzed, almost like your mind was about to break... and you would just shut down completely.
- (Y/N)! Scott said firmly and you snapped out from your thoughts again. It was so easy to slip into a state of haze, so easy to just give in to exhaustion and decide that you were not even going to try because the task at hand was just too big and demanding.
- Yes, Whit is alive. you repeated and took a quick glance at the slopes above you. "He is up there, slightly injured and..." you mumbled and then added with a disapproving tone "...Still filming his documentary."
- Remember, (Y/N), people deal with traumatic situations differently. Scott said and then added "You shouldn't be so quick to judge."
- What? you gasped and shifted your gaze back to Scott. "You seriously can't defend that kind of behavior, can you?" you asked and rolled your eyes as Whit's voice echoed from the distance. Suddenly you heard your own name being called once or twice.
- I think you should go to him and get him down here. Scott stated and shifted his position slightly. When he did, he let out a loud cry and for a moment you couldn't hear Whit talking to his camera. The filmmaker was silent.
- Alright. I'll come back as soon as possible. you said, smiled at Scott and then continued by saying "Once I've returned, we'll figure out what to do." Scott nodded and told you that he was going to be alright. "Don't you fall asleep" you stated firmly and started climbing up the mountain towards the filmmaker who had begun his monolog again.
Crawling upwards was slow and exhausting and therefore you had to stop every once in a while to breathe through the pain moving was causing. You knew that you were injured, perhaps few of your ribs had been broken when you had hit a young tree while tumbling down with the avalanche but you had to ignore pain and physical as well as mental weariness now because as the leader of this expedition you were responsible for the well-being of your client. No, you weren't expected to risk your life for him but since there was no imminent threat, the right thing to do, even from the humane point of view, was to do what you could to save a fellow human being. You used tree stumps to push and pull yourself upwards on the steep slope and then, finally, you reached Whit's level.
- And so man must face his own mortality. He must... Whit declared pompously, staring at the camera and after noticing you, he continued "...Challenge himself and find out which one is more powerful and resilient... the nature or the man's will." Whit glanced at you as you crawled towards him and then added with the same egocentric tone "The biggest question is... Am I going to break or-"
- Unbelievable. you chuffed when you finally reached him. Whit put his camera on the snow, set it in a way that it filmed the conversation from a somewhat awkward angle.
- What? he asked as he corrected the camera a little. Then he focused his attention to you and began "I came here to document real events-"
- Alright. Here is a reality check for you. you stated and decided to ignore the camera entirely. From now on you wouldn't care whether he wasted his energy on filming or not and as far as you were concerned, the camera did not exist. "You are injured" you stated with a serious tone, focused your gaze on Whit and continued with the same tone "Not severely but walking will hurt like hell" you spoke as assertively as you could and then added "Besides in these conditions any injury can become life threatening."
- Yeah right. Whit chuckled and smirked at the camera. He began casually "My mates will carry me off this mountain if necess-"
- Your mates are dead. you stated and interrupted the filmmaker. He took a look at the slope and focused his gaze back to you. This time he looked confused and like he didn't believe what you were saying. "They either got swept off the cliff..." you stated, took a deep breath even though it caused a stinging pain in your side and then, after recovering from the agony that you managed to hide from Whit, you concluded calmly "...Which at this point is the kindest way to go."
- The kindest? Whit asked and rolled his eyes.
- The alternatives are to have every bone in your body crushed... you stated and instantly got a mental flash of Scott who had most likely gone through exactly that, coughing blood and crying from overwhelming pain every time he moved. You swallowed once and then continued "...Or slow suffocation due to being buried under the snow."
- Well perhaps you should go and look for them! Whit scoffed. You rubbed your bare hands together as a pathetic attempt to make them warmer and prevent frostbites. You flexed your fingers repeatedly just so the circulation wouldn't stop and your fingers wouldn't start turning black from the tips. Yes, gangrene was a real threat since you had lost your gloves and you had not come across any mittens just laying around.
- It's too late, Mister Coutell! you snapped and glared at the handsome man. "If you had paid any attention to the safety briefing..." you began, took your backpack and pulled a roll of duct tape out. "...You would know that if help doesn't come to you within the first hour, your chances of survival under the snow become very slim" you spoke as you rolled tape around Whit's thigh to keep the bandage in place just so it wouldn't move and expose the injury when he started moving and crawling down.
- Yeah but, come on! It is snow. It's not...cement. Whit exclaimed and gasped from discomfort. He glared at you and whimpered "Why did you do that?"
- True, snow is a porous substance... you admitted, cut the tape with your teeth and then put the roll back into your backpack as you spoke "...But when you exhale, the snow around you will melt-"
- So you'll... what... drown? Whit scoffed with great disbelief in his voice.
- No! you snapped, shifted your eyes from your bag to Whit and continued "The snow melts and freezes into ice..." you explained, furrowed your brows and then added "...Which is basically the same as pulling a plastic bag over your head."
- Uh-huh. In that case you should do something! Whit commented and sharpened his gaze as you took a glance at your bare hands, covered with small scratches and barely moving. Then he spoke "If you are too weak to dig my mates out, then Scott-"
- Scott is... you said and stopped. You turned your head away and kept silent. The silence went on for at least half a minute and you felt like you had been sinking deep into your thoughts again. The world around you faded away and you were left inside your own little bubble where this was just a bad dream.
- What? the filmmaker asked and spat out your name. You recoiled instantly and shifted your gaze back to Whit.
- He won't last the night. you said and shook your head. "I found him... he is... he is not doing well" you stammered, trying to avoid saying 'he is going to die soon' because saying it out loud felt like an ominous premonition; it felt almost like... if you said it out loud, you would put a curse on Scott somehow and he would most definitely die, even though it was stupid to feel this way and a part of you already knew that the only way to save Scott was to get him to a hospital right now... which was impossible because you were about sixty kilometers away from the nearest winter-friendly settlements and no one knew that there had been an accident. You took your phone out from your backpack and tried to turn it on a couple of times... but it was totally smashed and unresponsive.
- That's not my problem, is it? Whit asked and stared at your pathetic attempts to get your phone working. He took his phone out from his pocket but it was dead too, actually it was only in a slightly better condition than yours was. Whit groaned and threw his phone away in a fit of anger. The device flew far and then hit a tree which broke the screen completely. "It is your job to get me off this mountain. And my job to make a movie about it" he stated and pointed at you angrily.
- Don't you understand! you snapped instantly. "This is no longer a joy ride. This is about survival..." you said and then added "...And to be completely frank with you, the odds are against us."
- Just call the resort if you're so scared. They'll send someone. Whit commented and folded his arms defiantly. "I'm bored of this trip anyway" he said and scoffed.
- Just call the resort. you said and mimicked Whit's accent as well as his tone. "Yeah, sure. I'll just call them and ask them to send a limousine for our Hollywood superstar" you stated mockingly and laughed bitterly.
- Oh come on! Don't be ridiculous. Whit said and rolled his eyes. "They'll send a helicopter!" he exclaimed.
- First of all, my phone is dead. What about yours? you asked and smirked which made it absolutely clear to Whit that you were pissed off and you had seen what the filmmaker had done to his phone. Whit rolled his eyes and scoffed. "There are no winter maintained roads either so it is very unlikely that we'll just miraculously run into someone" you stated and shook your head. Whit stared at you with wide eyes and did not comment. Perhaps the severity of this situation was finally sinking in.
- It is just... forests and mountains as far as your eye can see. you said and then continued mockingly "You wanted to experience raw unchained wilderness. Right?" Whit furrowed his brows because he didn't appreciate the way you seemed to blame him for this. "This is the most remote place around this area" you stated and then added calmly "Almost entirely cut off from the world during wintertime."
- Why the fuck did you bring us here then? he snapped and glared at you. "I could sue you for this!" he exclaimed angrily.
- Sue me? Go ahead. you said, your tone making it clear to the filmmaker that zero fucks were given. "Let's see how strong your case is going to be when I'll tell everyone that you and your groupies did not pay attention to the safety briefing and refused to listen to your guide" you said, chuckled bitterly and then added "Yeah, I am very interested to know if they agree with you that wandering off in a snowstorm is a good idea." Whit shifted his gaze away and exhaled slowly. He knew that at least few of his decisions had been somewhat questionable and in hindsight idiotic even and if you went public, even though at this point it was just your word against his, it would look bad. He also knew that suing you, his savior, would be very bad PR and might cause unfixable damage to his public image. "Are we done arguing?" you asked after a staring contest accompanied by a depressing silence that had lasted for a couple of minutes.
- Yes. Just remember that you work for me and your job is to get me off this mountain. Whit muttered and then added firmly "Alive."
You packed your stuff and gathered any supplies you could find nearby Whit's location and then showed the filmmaker how he was supposed to move on the snow without increasing the risk of stirring the snow and causing another avalanche. You slid on the snow, slowly getting down towards Scott and used broken tree stumps to slow down the speed. Whit followed you like a shadow and for once he was silent. He was filming the whole thing but whatever, you had decided to ignore the existence of the camera. Besides, if Whit sued you, perhaps there was enough video evidence to show the judge and the jury that you had done your best in a horrible situation.
- How are you feeling? you asked Scott when you reached him. He tried to sit up but to be honest, he couldn't move without assistance and even breathing caused him pain. "No-no-no, don't move" you said and took his hand. You squeezed it tightly, careful not to cause any further discomfort and said "Look, Whit is here." Whit nodded at Scott but kept his distance because the sight of him made the filmmaker feel nauseous. Yes, it was making you feel lightheaded too, all that blood and agony, but you pushed your feelings aside and did what was necessary.
- There is an abandoned cottage... about two kilometers from here. Scott stated and coughed again. "In the valley. That way" he gasped and pointed his finger at lower altitudes while groaning and whining from pain.
- Okay. you said and took a glance at the forest behind you.
- The sun is going to set in a couple of hours... and then it'll get really cold. Scott stated and added "We must get off this mountain before nightfall."
- Yeah, sure. It makes sense. you commented, nodded and then continued with a calm tone "Besides, the blizzard has made the snow cover very unstable. We will not survive another avalanche."
You flexed your fingers again as you scanned your surroundings. The shadows were growing longer by every passing moment and you knew that there was no time to waste. You decided to check the content of your backpack because the zipper had opened a little during the avalanche and you had lost some of your things during the dangerous ride. You had managed to find some items, few belonging to you and few that had belonged to someone else, during your brief scouting rounds and now you spread all of them on the snow in front of you. You had some first aid -supplies, duct tape, your broken phone, an unopened but badly smashed packet of muesli bars and some other bits and bobs... but for example your sleeping bag and extra clothes had fallen out and been buried under the snow.
You asked Whit to check what he had but he had lost almost everything but his dear camera, a solar charger for it, extra batteries, memory cards and a drinking bottle made of plastic that had a long crack along the side. He was just about to disregard the broken bottle but you stopped him by exclaiming "Don't!" with a serious tone. "Don't throw anything away" you mumbled and packed the items back to your backpack. Whit followed your lead and mumbled something about losing his favorite wool socks.
Suddenly he cursed and complained about his scarf being missing; it had fallen off during the avalanche and now his neck was exposed, leaving a nasty opening for draft and freezing temperatures to sneak under his warm hi-tech winter coat. You felt for Whit and understood why he was upset. The truth was, when you had gained consciousness, you had quickly realized that there had been snow under your winter coat and even beneath the many layers of clothing under it. It was a nasty feeling to have snow against your bare skin and having no winter hat or a scarf backfired quickly when the sun disappeared behind the horizon. You had a scarf but you had no gloves so you knew personally how paralyzing and disheartening it was to feel cold... and not just unpleasantly cold but... freezing cold... and neither of you had experienced that level of coldness yet.
- Are you injured? Scott asked when he recoiled back to full awareness.
- Huh? you sighed and flashed an awkward smile at him.
- (Y/N), are you injured? the wildlife expert asked once more.
- No... not badly. I mean there will be bruises for sure but... I'm fine. you replied even though it was impossible to know for sure whether you were fine or not. It was possible that you had broken ribs, had a bad concussion or were bleeding internally... or perhaps you were fine like you had said. There was no way of knowing for certain and that worried you. What if you were badly injured, now managing this well due to an adrenaline rush and then suddenly collapsed later? What if your head injury was clouding your judgment and you ended up making decisions that would cost Whit his life and it would cost you yours too, of course?
- Good. And the others? Scott asked.
- Mister Coutell... has an injury on his leg. you replied and added "The others..." However, you couldn't finish the sentence so you just shook your head and looked away.
- Right. Now, your next decisions could make the difference between life and death. Scott spoke with a hoarse, fragile tone and continued after coughing "You must make some difficult choices... and play it smart."
- I'm not sure if I can do it. you commented and slipped your hands under your coat so you would feel a bit warmer. You sounded hesitant and unconfident, emotional and on the verge of breaking down at any moment now.
- You'll have to put your emotions aside and base your actions solely on one question. Scott stated and paused. He inhaled weakly, his breath wheezing in his throat and then continued by asking "Does it increase the odds of my survival?" You stared at the sun and imagined feeling some warmth on your face but the truth was that the sun was too low to provide anything more than light at this point. "Alright? Are you listening, (Y/N)?" Scott asked with a disapproving tone. In his opinion you were just wasting time but he failed to realize that you had only a few years of experience and had never been a life-threatening situation like this before. Sure your parents had taken you on hikes while growing up and you actually had more experience than just few years of working in the industry but still, mentally you wanted to escape this situation, not face it.
- I need to gather supplies. you stated after a couple of minutes of silence.
- Yes. But be careful... and quick. Scott said and engaged Whit into a conversation while you scoured the slope for any extra supplies.
You crawled on the snow, spreading your weight as widely as you could, almost as if you had been moving on thin ice. You grabbed a twig and used that to dig random spots just to see if there was something beneath the surface, like a knife or... more food... perhaps a working phone. Yes, there was no cell coverage but sometimes you got lucky and found a bar up in the mountains. You saw something sticking out from the snow a little bit further away, near the cliffs... so you steered yourself there... just to find a cold, stiff hand... no glove though. You tried to dig the snow with the twig but the snow had already set and started to freeze... and therefore after digging a hole, approximately ten centimeters deep and twenty centimeters wide... and getting exhausted in the process, you gave up. You knew that whoever this was, was already dead... you had just hoped to get to his bag and pockets, although you had mixed feelings about stealing from the dead.
You marked the spot with a tree branch and then got up. You knew that you would cover much more ground if you walked instead of crawling, so you decided to at least try walking. You took shaky steps on the snow, keeping your gaze fixed on your surroundings and hoping that your weight wouldn't trigger another avalanche. You found a bag of cheese flavored crackers, half empty and the content crushed, but you knew that any source of energy would be vital in these conditions; your body consumed calories as it tried to keep itself warm and every action required more energy than in a warmer climate. You also found a scarf... but no gloves.
Then there was nothing else to find... nothing useful anyway. Sure there were a couple of broken glass bottles, broken camera gear and other bits and bobs that were no use to you so you decided not to waste any further time and headed back to Scott and Whit, who were sitting a bit higher on the slope, next to bigger tree. Scott had most likely gotten slammed against that tree and perhaps many trees and rocks before it... which had caused such terrible injuries. You sank into the snow, thigh-deep and had to dig yourself out again. After sinking three times you decided to crawl once more despite the fact that going upwards like that was slow as fuck. Finally you reached the guys and sat next to Scott to get some rest.
- All set. you said and smiled at Scott. You squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. You went through silently in your head the conversation you had had with Scott just a moment ago, the one about difficult decisions and pushing your personal feelings aside. You thought about 'the first rule of survival' and how what you were planning to do would break you mentally for sure. You kept the smile on your face, perfectly masking your inner turmoil and convincing both Whit and Scott that it was going to be fine.
Then you shifted your gaze away and the look on your face changed completely; the smile faded away and your eyes turned blank, your entire mindset changed cold and distant as every bit of empathy and compassion disappeared from your demeanor as well as body language. Whit called your name a couple of times but got no response from you as you stared into the distance, at the frozen hand sticking out from the snow... although neither Scott nor Whit knew about your gruesome discovery. You were mentally far away and someone else, a faceless stranger had taken over.
- I... need that bag of yours. you said after a moment and knelt beside the helpless wildlife expert. You turned him on his side and finally to his stomach while he screamed from pain, your actions calm and strangely controlled, almost like you had been beyond the reach of Scott's screams. Then you loosened the straps of his backpack, slid the handles off his shoulders and rolled him back on his stomach, your actions lacking hesitation even though Scott begged you not to move him so roughly. You unclasped the buckle that had kept the backpack in its place during the ordeal and then pulled the bag off.
- What are you doing? (Y/N)? Whit asked, now paying attention to what you were doing but taking no part in it. He chose to remain as a bystander or a mere spectator because the truth was, he did not have the guts to make hard decisions like this, even though he had always assumed that he would. He turned off his camera and put it into his bag, which he closed with great care.
- I'm sorry, Scott. you said with a tone that tried to be compassionate but sounded fake and perhaps even machine-like. You avoided having eye contact with him when he kept asking you what you were doing. Then you proceeded to loosen the straps of his gloves.
- You can't take his gloves! What are you doing, (Y/N)? Whit exclaimed with a disapproving tone. He stood up for Scott which was admirable, kind of, but at the same time he was making sure that he would go down in history as the good guy while you would be remembered as the one who tried to steal the injured man's gloves.
- Mister Coutell, Scott won't need those soon. you stated with a cold, distant tone and continued loosen the buckles that had kept the gloves chained to Scott's hands during the avalanche. Your gloves had had just an elastic band and therefore they had slipped off your hands so easily. However your fingers were stiff and numb from cold and it made any delicate task difficult, or nearly impossible.
- Nevertheless, you can't take his gloves! Be decent! Whit shouted and grabbed your arm to pull you away from Scott who was laying on the snow on his back, barely awake due to the severe pain he was experiencing. He had also lost a lot of blood and it sounded like his breathing was getting harder by every passing moment. He was basically drowning in his own blood but still hanging onto hope and mumbling about how you should take him with you and how it was inhumane to leave him like this.
- Fine! you snapped and raised your hands up as a sign of surrendering. You took the scarf out from your bag and threw it at Whit as a protest. Then you secured Scott's bag on top of yours, fastened the belt around your waist and said "Come on!" to Whit who stared at coughing Scott with widened eyes.
- What? Wait... what? Don't you leave me! Scott shouted when he realized that you were not planning to take him with you. He was wheezing and coughing as he tried to sit up but he was too weak to even lift his arm now.
- Just close your eyes and fall asleep. It'll be fine. you said without looking at the man, your voice lacking warmth and compassion which terrified and surprised Whit. You slid down the slope and refused to look back when you heard the desperate cries of your mentor and friend.
- Come back here! (Y/N)! Scott shouted repeatedly, he begged you to take him with you and eventually cursed you for abandoning him in such cruel way.
- What are you doing? Why are you leaving Scott behind? Whit asked and stopped you by grabbing your arm. You stopped but didn't turn to look at Whit. You kept your gaze fixed on the forest in front of you and the expression on your face was blank. It was almost like you had checked out mentally and now operated on some kind of autopilot.
- Just... follow me. you spoke with a low emotionless tone, still refusing to look at the filmmaker or take a glance at the wildlife expert who was laying about ten meters away from you and Whit, higher on the mountain.
- No! You can't just leave him like that! Whit exclaimed, stood up and tried to drag you back but his attempt failed when he sank into the snow due to sudden weight shift.
- Whit! What would you have me do, huh? you asked with a slightly annoyed tone. “Can you carry him? I can’t, so tell me, what would you like me to do about it?” you asked and wrenched your arm off Whit’s grasp. The sudden and uncontrolled movement sent a wave of pain from your side to every part of your body but you managed to hide it from Whit. You did not even blink. Whit hesitated and took a glance at Scott who still whimpered from pain and begged for help. When the filmmaker was about to say something, to object or to reason with you, you interrupted him with a firm “No.”
- I said, follow me! you commanded assertively. "There is nothing I can do to save Scott" you stated with a tone that was eerily calm and lacked any character.
- But don't you think you should at least try? the filmmaker asked, his question sounding very accusing and meant to stir a reaction or at least some kind of response in you. Besides, he was constantly asking and demanding you to do something, not even considering the possibility that if there was some kind of cosmic responsibility and obligation to help another living being, that obliged him also, equally. Yes, you were the guide but this situation was far beyond any hierarchy and therefore it was most unfair that Whit had taken this passive role while you had to be the one who made the hard decisions… such as leaving a man behind.
- It's going to get dark soon. you stated. "We must find that abandoned cottage" you began, inhaled slowly and then continued "...Otherwise we'll have to dig a hole in the snow..." Your voice was barely audible but it still sounded harsh, distant and cold. It lacked empathy and scared Whit because it was clear that something had snapped inside you. "...And hope that we'll last until the sunrise without our sleeping bags" you concluded and shifted your gaze from the forest to Whit, almost like you had challenged him to step into your shoes for a moment and to make the decision.
- Hell no! he exclaimed, feeling coldness creeping in and chilling his core. He shook his head, now understanding the severity of the situation and asked "Which way?" without further hesitation. You pointed at the valley somewhere in front of you and then started to slide down on the snow while trying to cause as little disturbance as possible.