Whit Coutell / Reader - Part 3
You and Whit moved slowly in the forest, sometimes crawling and sometimes walking, descending into a valley as the sky turned from pale green to dark blue. The moon came up and lit the forest with eerie silver glow, making everything look frozen and haunted. Normally you would have loved to find a clearing, lay on your back and stare at the starry night sky but not tonight. Oh no, because you knew that during winter and spring the clear nights were the coldest. If the sky had been covered with clouds, it would have been darker, yes, and moving in the forest would have been more difficult and dangerous as well, but at least the warmth of the day would have lingered a little longer and not escaped into the space.
After few hours you finally reached the bottom of the valley where the abandoned cottage was supposed to be located. You and Whit walked in circles as desperation started to take over your mind and a panic set in. What if you didn't find the cottage? What if you had led Whit astray and the possible shelter was in a different direction? What if Scott had remembered the location of the cottage wrong or what if he had been hallucinating or saying things that increased his chances of being taken with you? Surely this outcome had crossed his mind, perhaps he had feared it right from the beginning when he had realized the state he had been in, and most likely when he had given you the lecture about hard decisions, he had been preparing you for the hardest one of them all... but then, when put face to face with the possibility of being left behind, his survival instincts had kicked in and he had done everything he could to avoid his cruel fate.
- I can't believe you actually left Scott behind like that. Whit commented suddenly and pointed his camera at you. Neither of you had said anything since making the decision to leave Scott behind because there had not been much to say. Your mind was blank and you were operating on that same autopilot than before while Whit probably was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with you. Now, while taking a short break from hiking, he finally opened his mouth... after getting his camera rolling once more, naturally.
- Look who's talking! you scoffed and leaned to a tree. "Three friends of yours died and that has not affected you at all" you commented and tried to catch your breath.
- You don't know that! Whit exclaimed. He, of course, felt bad for his them, although they weren't his close friends, just some film students who had volunteered on this trip for experience and exposure and therefore Whit had barely known their names. However the biggest reason for his lack of reaction was that mourning was not exactly on the top of his list of priorities and once he was back to civilization, he would allow those feelings to surface... and he would get it on film to prove everyone that he wasn't just some egoistic and pompous windbag.
- Well, it sure seems like that. All you care about is yourself and your documentary. you commented and glared at the camera that had been set on the snow, to film this conversation from a distance of two meters, just so you both fit in the frame.
- Perhaps I continue filming our journey for them. Whit stated and then added "Yeah, in memoriam."
- I think you want to keep filming and saying that it is for them is a convenient excuse. you commented, rolled your eyes and folded your arms.
- I don't care about your opinion. I am not paying you for your opinions. Whit snapped and grabbed the camera from the snow just to prevent you from doing something to it.
- Fine. You'll do what you want. Just keep the camera off my face. you snapped at him and scoffed.
- Ah! You signed a contract where you agreed to be filmed... Whit said, paused and lifted the camera on his face. "...So... unless you want to get sued for breach of contract..." he stated and filmed you directly, almost shoving the lens of the camera at your face as he spoke "I suggest you'll just concentrate on getting me back to the civilization while I'll document our efforts."
You scoffed and pushed the camera away with your hand. Whit scolded you for getting your fingerprints all over the lens and then continued following you. You scanned the moonlit forest and sighed. The temperature was dropping and you were really running out of time. Now was the time to decide whether you should start looking for a sheltered place to camp for the night or continue looking for the cottage even though you didn't know if it existed. You were getting tired and laying on the snow, staring at the stars and falling asleep started to seem like a good idea. You knew that it wasn't, but it sure felt like one. The snow looked so soft and inviting... you would fall asleep easily and after a moment, you wouldn't even feel cold anymore. The downside was that you wouldn't wake up in the morning but you would become the fifth casualty of this hike.
- So... why did you take the backpack? Whit asked after a long silence. He was filming again but this time you didn't care.
- Do you really have to ask? you asked and took a glance at the filmmaker over your shoulder. You rolled your eyes and scoffed, the gesture implying that Whit was an idiot if he couldn't figure the answer out by himself. However the tall man did not say anything. "Scott..." you began and swallowed your emotions because saying his name out loud made you think about the way you had left him and also about the great adventures you had shared during your employment. "...He carried a map, the lighter and fire starter blocks, tools and a compass..." you listed, took a deep breath and then continued "...Medicine and an emergency blanket." You kept scanning the forest as you walked cautiously on the frozen surface, doing your best to avoid sinking in because every sudden movement hurt like hell and made your injuries worse for sure. "Also I know that he always packs a couple of chocolate bars for special occasions" you added and smiled a little at the forest in front of you.
- Yeah, we had those when we were admiring the view... Whit commented and added "...Up in the mountain."
The filmmaker thought about the moment he and his groupies had reached the plateau. The sun had felt warm on his face and the view had been gorgeous; he had seen the lake, well a part of it, white glimmering snow as far as an eye can see and few eagles or some other large birds flying in the distance, screeching and enjoying their freedom. Whit had also felt free and peaceful, he had felt like a winner and for a moment he had been the king on the throne, watching the world open up and present itself in front of him. He had also felt small and humbled but mostly just very proud of himself. Scott had handed him and his friends chocolate bars and they had raised a toast to the fine day and a great accomplishment... even though they had not actually stood on the top of the mountain. It had not mattered because they had been high enough to feel like watching the world from above.
- Right. Well, no chocolate then. you commented and then continued by mumbling "There still might be a bag of pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds, different nuts and raisins-"
- Yeah, he definitely had a bag of those. Offered us some but we declined. Whit said and chuckled. "Why did he carry that bag anyway? To make friends with squirrels?" he asked with an amused tone. You scoffed and stopped instantly, turned to look at Whit and shook your head in disbelief.
- Nuts, dried fruit and seeds are a healthy and easy snack. Plenty of good fats and protein. you explained with a frustrated and somewhat annoyed tone. "They don't take much space, they don't need heating or any kind of cooking and they do not have to be stored in cool..." you spoke and then added with a barely audible tone "Although, refrigeration would not be a problem now." Oh no, refrigeration was no problem now when all there was, was just ice and snow all around and the freezing temperatures were making you shiver constantly.
- Yeah, I get it. Whit said with a cocky tone, almost like he had tried to prove to you that he wasn't an idiot. "However he could have easily had the same stuff in a form of a bar. Like you do" he added, perhaps trying to show you that he had paid attention or letting you know that he was aware of your stash of muesli bars.
- Perhaps Scott thought that if we come across an angry mob of rodents... you commented with a mocking tone and then added "...Those nuts might come handy."
- You're making fun of me and I don't appreciate it. Whit stated immediately, sounding a bit upset now.
- I'm not getting paid enough to care about what you do and don't appreciate. you stated with an indifferent tone, making it perfectly clear to Whit that you did not give a damn. You started to walk forward again.
- What am I paying you for exactly? What services do I get for my money? he asked and scoffed. You shouted "Ha!" and then listened as the filmmaker continued with a mocking voice "You're not a competent guide-"
- There were four of you and two of us! you exclaimed and turned to look at Whit again. "How was I supposed to force you to follow the hiking plan? Huh?" you asked and glared at the tall man. He took a step backwards as an automated reaction to your attack. "So how dare you..." you hissed and shook your head with an angry look on your face. "How dare you to tell me that I don't know how to do my job!" you stated firmly. This time Whit did not back away but scoffed.
- In fact, why does it seem that Scott was so much better prepared for this hike? Where are your lighters and emergency blankets? the filmmaker asked and attacked you with his accusing tone.
- That is a good question, Whit. Let's see! you replied with a tone that sounded like you had been talking to an idiot. "Perhaps buried under the snow. Like yours, I presume" you stated angrily and groaned. Your hands were freezing, you were constantly shivering and therefore having this conversation right now was just too much. You were not in the mood for a verbal fight but if Whit wanted one, he would surely get what he wanted... like he most likely always did.
- If it wasn't for me, you would still be up on that mountain. you said with a threatening tone. "You would have eventually frozen to death because you don't have the guts to do what I did" you stated and pointed your finger at him when you said 'you', just to emphasize the word.
- Why can't you just admit that you crewed up? Whit asked and rolled his eyes.
- Screwed up? Well excuse me! you shouted angrily even though you knew that you were needlessly wasting energy by getting yourself so riled up. It was not smart but you had to stand up for yourself. You couldn't let that smug asshole walk over you like you were some doormat... or his lackey.
- Just admit it! Apologize for screwing up. Whit demanded with a firm, loud and deep voice.
- Fine! I screwed up! you shouted and just as Whit responded with smirk you continued "I screwed up when I agreed to take four macho guys with no survival skills and zero working brain cells into the wild." The filmmaker stared at you with widened eyes and for a moment he was speechless. "I am so deeply sorry. Happy?" you asked with a deeply sarcastic and irritated tone.
- Hey! Whit exclaimed and added "It's not what I meant-"
- Now, we must try to pick up the pace if we don't want to spend the night in the forest. you stated firmly and interrupted the arrogant man.
The moon disappeared behind the mountain and the forest in the valley got dark. It had gotten gradiently darker for a while but now, when even the last silver rays had been blocked by the tall, snow covered feature, it shocked you how dark it really was. The sky was filled with stars but they did not really provide a sufficient amount of light to carry on safely. You took Scott's bag off your back and went quickly through the content; map, the bag of nuts, dried fruit and seeds, some tools, a compass, a first aid -kit, fire starter blocks and a lighter... some other random stuff and... a flashlight. You sighed "A-ha!" and turned the flashlight on. You scanned the surroundings with it and when you turned around, you noticed Whit squatting a bit further behind. He had snow on his glove and about to eat some.
- Don't eat snow. you stated firmly. Whit got startled and accidentally dropped the piece of snow he had planned to eat. He shifted his focus on you and shielded his eyes with his hand from the bright light. "Don't eat snow" you repeated, this time with even clearer voice and emphasized every word.
- I'm so thirsty! Whit whined as a response and groaned. You knew how he felt because you were also terribly thirsty. Your mouth was dry, so dry in fact that swallowing was slightly painful. "I don't care if it is a little bit dirty..." the filmmaker stated, almost like he had been begging for mercy or permission from you. "I mean, as long as it's not yellow, right?" he stated and flashed a hopeful smile. You shook your head and began
- If you had paid attention-
- Yeah, yeah... the safety briefing... what now? Whit asked with an annoyed and frustrated tone.
- Eating snow will lower your core temperature and make you hypothermic. you explained and then continued calmly "We'll have to make a fire and melt the snow."
- In what? Do you have pots and pans? Whit asked mockingly and when you didn't instantly give him an answer, snapped "Yeah, I didn't think so!" You let out a theatrical sigh and shifted the light from Whit to the forest behind him. Suddenly you saw something flashing; the light had hit some reflective surface, perhaps a window.
- Maybe there is something in the cottage that we can use. you stated, put Scott's bag back on and pointed at the direction of the flash. "Or we'll come across a stream. It is spring after all and snow is melting" you spoke and then added when you walked by Whit "Just... do not eat snow."
Whit rolled his eyes and cleared his gloves from snow. He regretted not paying attention to the safety briefing because being treated like a fool or even worse, a child, was getting very annoying. He was an adult, a strong man, and it wasn't like he was out in the wild for the first time in his life... even though it seemed like it. But Whit was not just annoyed due to being corrected constantly but he was embarrassed as well as angry at himself; he was the one whose previous actions had made him so prone to mockery and being proven wrong. If he had paid attention and studied survival-stuff by watching documentaries for example, maybe he wouldn't have gotten into this situation in the first place. "Come on!" you said as you walked slowly towards a dark spot in the forest.
When you got close enough, you realized that the dark spot in the forest was a small cottage that was made of logs and painted dark brown. You walked around the cottage, shined light inside from the windows although most of them had been at least partially nailed shut. Soon Whit called you and told you that he had found a door but it had been locked with an old rusty padlock. You took the backpack off and grabbed the first metallic object you came across and then proceeded to force the lock open with it. When the lock gave in a little, you hit it with the heavy flashlight a couple of times and the lock broke off. "After you" you said and gestured Whit to go in.
- Let's get this five-star accommodation warm, shall we. Whit said with a somewhat disapproving tone. Clearly the cottage was below his standards but it really wasn't like there had been plenty of options to choose from. No, quite frankly it was either this dusty old cottage or an igloo but since neither of you had your sleeping bags, spending a night in a hole in a snowbank was not a viable option. Surely even Whit was capable of comprehending that. You walked in, noticed a simple fireplace and sighed relieved.
- Yeah. I'll get the fire going. you said and closed the door. "In the meanwhile, cover that broken window with something" you stated and pointed at a window that had been broken, located next to the door. Perhaps someone had tried to get in at some point but then decided against it... or maybe the window had gotten damaged during a storm. Anyway, it had to be covered with something.
There were two rooms in the cottage; a bedroom and a general area with the hearth, a small kitchen and a table. There were two armchairs by the fireplace but they looked moldy and totally uninviting. Whit took a pillow from one of them and shoved it into the hole in the window, accidentally making the hole even bigger and nearly cutting himself with the shards of glass. You took off the backpacks and concentrated on the fire. There were few dry logs by the hearth so all you needed was the fire starter blocks and the lighter. You ransacked Scott's bag while Whit went through yours. He grabbed the duct tape and proceeded to tape the pillow to the window to stop the warm air from escaping the cottage. You took a glance at Whit and rolled your eyes when you saw the tall guy duct-taping an armrest to a window.
- You could have used those old newspapers, you know? you commented with a somewhat ridiculing tone while positioning the logs into the fireplace in a way they would catch fire as easily as possible.
- Oh shut up. Whit mumbled with a barely audible tone.
- What did you say? you asked and turned to look at him.
- Can’t you just let me do this my own way? Whit asked and stared at you with a defeated expression on his face. You shifted your gaze elsewhere and shrugged your shoulders.
- Sure, go ahead. you scoffed. “I just find it funny that when you see an armrest of a dirty armchair…” you spoke and paused for a moment to rearrange your thoughts. “…You decide to tape it to a window” you concluded and rolled your eyes.
- Well, it works. Whit commented and then, after a few blinks of awkward silence, asked “Could you be a little less condescending?” and he sounded like he was genuinely upset, not in a macho way, like he had gotten his oversized ego hurt, but… in a way that made you feel bad for being so on the nose and behaving like you had answers to every situation.
- I’m not… you began and sighed. You took a deep breath and tried again “I’m not deliberately trying to sound condescending, alright?”
- Well, you do and it is demoralizing. Whit stated and continued taping the pillow to the window.
- I’m sorry. you mumbled and then added “I’m just trying to keep us alive… and fairly safe.”
- Yeah, I get that… and I appreciate it… but trust me a little more, alright? he said and then stated “I’m not an idiot.” He finished his unconventional project and told you that he would check the kitchen for something that could be used for melting snow. You commented that it was a good idea and continued assembling the fire.
Whit grabbed the flashlight and scoured the kitchen for pots and pans but found none. He walked into the bedroom, searched the drawers, closets and cupboards but did not find anything too useful. He tried to keep his eyes and mind open, to look at the random items with imaginative eyes and always asked himself "How could I use this?" He came up with some truly fanciful ways to use a broken broom and then just threw the broom away, suspecting that you would just laugh at him if he presented any of his ideas to you. Then he returned to the main living area and found the room filled with smoke. He saw the door open, fire in the hearth and suddenly you rushed in and threw an armful of snow into the flames. Then you continued guiding the snow out by using a baking tray. Whit was rendered speechless as he stared at you repeating this a couple of times until the flames had died.
- What are you doing? Do you want us to freeze to death? Whit exclaimed when he finally managed to speak. He coughed a couple of times and stared at you with a somewhat shocked expression on his face.
- The chimney is blocked. Perhaps by an old bird nest. you replied while waving the baking tray and pushing the smoke out. Then you put the tray away, closed the door and stated with a calm but assertive tone "We'll die from carbon monoxide poisoning if we'll make fire here."
- Are you kidding me? What are we supposed to do now? the filmmaker asked, sounding disappointed and exhausted. You didn’t blame him for feeling that way since you were getting tired of these constant setbacks as well. However you were on the edge of a complete meltdown so you didn’t bother to moderate and filter your frustration.
- Why don't you figure it out? Huh? you snapped instantly and threw the baking tray into the kitchen. It made a terrible metallic clank as it hit the floor. "You spent a year in a tent... great explorer and survivalist" you spoke with deep frustration in your voice. "Why don't you help me out a little and put those skills to use now?" you asked and folded your arms defiantly as you stared at Whit with a serious look on your face. You were tired of him just freeloading and expecting you to have all the answers.
- It was more like a week... Whit admitted and then mumbled "...Or a long weekend... and I had my crew." He sounded embarrassed, like you had caught him lying and proved that he was nothing by a fake.
- Of course you did. you mumbled and rubbed your forehead. Dehydration and hitting your head in the avalanche were making your head hurt and you really couldn't handle any further setbacks. "Just... search the cottage for any blankets, candles... for anything useful" you said to Whit and then added "I'll check out the surroundings." The filmmaker nodded, took off his backpack and went through it while you spoke "I'll try to find some water."
- Here! Whit said and pulled out his plastic water bottle. "It's leaking but I think you can fix it with duct tape" he said and threw the bottle to you.
- Good thinking! you complimented him and sighed. "Keep that up" you said, hoping to encourage the tall man.
You rolled a few layers of duct tape around the bottle and then headed out with the flashlight. You walked in the forest, scanning the snow and trying to find a stream or a spring, any puddle of water basically so you and Whit could have something to drink. You walked further into the forest and finally came across a small river that was not fully frozen. You started to run due to overwhelming excitement and relief which caused you to sink deep into the snow a few times. But you didn’t care. Oh no, you did not care at all because you were so thirsty. However your excitement soon bit you in the ass because when you approached the riverbank, you completely ignored the banks of snow that were just about to fall into the river. You lay down on your stomach on the snow and reached down to fill the bottle with water. However, when you shifted your weight a little, the snowbank broke off and you fell into the freezing water.
The river was not very deep but it was deep enough for you to sink in completely. The cold water hit your face like thousand needles and after a moment, when your clothes got soaking wet, the stinging feeling spread all over your body. You screamed underwater, nearly gasped from shock and filled your lungs with water but fortunately you managed to keep your inhaling reflex in control. You floated in the water for a moment and then, after clearing your head a little, you managed to find the bottom of the river with your feet. You stood up and gasped for air, realizing that the water was only up to your waist and then started to climb out from the river but the riverbanks were slippery and every time you managed to climb on the snowbank, partially hanging over the river like an extension, the snow broke off and you fell back into the water. Sometimes the blocks of snow were so large that when they fell off, they fell over you and trapped you momentarily underwater.
You stood in the river, shivering and trying to call Whit to help you, there was no voice coming out from your mouth. You whimpered as your breathing turned into sharp, shallow gasps and suddenly you realized that you had lost the flashlight and also Whit’s bottle. You noticed the bottle floating on the surface of the water just few meters away from you so you walked to it, stumbling a couple of times due to the slippery rocks in the bottom of the river and the bottle floating constantly a little further away from you. Then finally you managed to grab it, filled it and decided to leave the flashlight. It had gone straight to the bottom and there was no way you would find it in the darkness, unless you walked into it.
The flashlight had to be somewhere near the spot where you had fallen into the water however, you had no time to start looking for it because you could feel your strength slipping away from you. You could barely feel your hands and the soaked winter clothes were getting heavy, making your difficult task even more difficult. You managed to grab some tree roots in the darkness and pulled yourself out from the freezing water. A sense of relief took over you and you decided to rest for a moment, just for a few minutes because you still had to find your way back to the cottage without the flashlight.
You rolled on your back and lay on the snow, stared at the starry sky and breathed in shallow gasps. Your body shivered violently and you had never felt this cold… and then you started to feel comfortably numb yet still you squeezed the water bottle in your hand like that was the most precious thing you owned. You closed your eyes for a moment because your eyelids had become super heavy all of a sudden and your breathing calmed down. This was not the end you had pictured for yourself… but at least it would be fairly quick and painless.