Thranduil / Reader (11) - Part 3
The chamber that had once belonged to Legolas, the very room where you and he had once spent few happy weeks as a married couple, got soon sealed off just like Thranduil had promised. A carpenter constructed a tall, wide bookshelf to cover the door so when the project was over it looked like there had never been a door and there never would be one. You felt relieved and lighter, almost like that chapter of your life had been finally dealt with and closed for good, although you couldn’t deny the fact that still sometimes your thoughts took a melancholic turn and you found yourself looking back. You weren’t actually thinking about your brief marriage with Legolas anymore but regretting the years you had wasted on waiting for his return.
However you started to heal, slowly at first and then taking huge leaps as you began noticing the beautiful things again. You were smiling more and even laughing a little here and there, which made Thranduil very happy; he had been rather worried about you, at some point even feared that your sorrow would swallow you whole, but now at the doorstep of a new summer, you seemed lighter. Your shoulders weren’t burdened with bitterness and grief but you were the same lighthearted woman you had been when you had arrived to Mirkwood, the one who embraced the world with opened arms and despite her insecurities was not afraid to take a leap of faith, so to speak. You had definitely taken a huge one when you had left your old life behind and chosen the immortal life in Middle Earth.
You noticed that you had grown as a person and your view of the world had changed; you no longer saw yourself as a victim of a betrayal, you were stronger than that, understanding now that it was just life and life would go on. You apologized to Thranduil for blaming him and targeting your anger as well as frustration at him even though it was not his fault that Legolas had decided to stay on his travels and finally formed a colony of his own in Ithilien. You did not blame Legolas either because you had finally accepted that the war had changed him as well as his priorities. You had also come to terms with his statement that you couldn't understand him due to the fact that you had never experienced such horrifying things as he had. He was right - you probably would have never really gotten him if he had come back for you and this "not being able to get him" could have ruined your relationship in the long run by making you and him grow in different directions instead growing in the same direction as a tight unit.
It was neither easy nor painless but you knew that if you did not let go, your life would always be filled with sorrow and bitterness, until one day you would do something stupid, final and irreversible. Something that would cause pain and suffering to Thranduil who clearly cared for you for some strange, unknown reason. Yes, Thranduil had always been and still was there for you. He had taken a good care of you when you had been depressed and made sure that you had not sunken too deep into the mental darkness. You were grateful for the king's efforts and for everything he had done to keep you safe. He had kept you safe even from yourself during the times when you had been your own worst enemy.
Ever since Legolas had left Mirkwood you had been on the verge of falling mentally apart many times, bottling your feelings even though it had certainly not made the situation even a bit easier for you. You had pushed the king away, been rude towards him more than once but still he had stayed by your side, ignoring the bitter insults and hateful glares. You had not allowed yourself to open your heart to new possibilities; a possibility such as falling in love again and being loved in return... a possibility to have a relationship with the very man who had actually loved you all this time, not romantically but like a close, loyal friend.
It, the close friendship with the king, was great but the truth was that you missed romance. You missed feeling the butterflies in your stomach and the excitement as well as the overwhelming joy of seeing the special person for the first time in the morning, sharing private strolls in the garden with him during any time of the day or even having dinner with him when other courtiers were around and there was no privacy and he was unable to give you all of his attention, just small bits of it here and there - glances and smiles mostly. However you cherished those moments, shared looks and times when you both laughed at the silliest things and the other courtiers did not see the funniness in what had been said or done.
Yes, Thranduil had become the person who always made you laugh and you made him laugh as well and this shared laughter had very powerful healing properties, making you both feel lighter and working as a magnet, sort of. Yes, you had fallen in love with the king but... even though you had a feeling that he was sometimes flirting with you and being overly charming whenever you were around, well Thranduil was always very charming but sometimes he upped his game and behaved like he was intentionally trying to sweep you off your feet, which he had managed to do... but despite all this you were not completely sure if he had indeed fallen in love with you or if you were just getting the signals mixed up and imagining things.
Perhaps Thranduil saw you as a friend and when he had said to you that "you have been loved", he had meant "loved as a friend" and sure, he had certainly loved you and cared for you ever since Legolas had left Mirkwood. But... what if the king saw you as a child, as an adopted daughter that he couldn't get rid of and you had misinterpreted the warmth and mental companionship as something romantic, when actually his feelings towards you were fatherly and nothing more? What if he did not see you as a woman... as so called girlfriend material? These thoughts were driving you insane and making you desperate, yet you did not want to show this desperation to Thranduil and make your feelings clear to him because you were kind of afraid of making things awkward between you and him and ruining the friendship, which would surely happen if he did not share your feelings.
You wanted to play it cool and to avoid being too pushy because you did not want to get laughed at by the other elves, especially by the king or give a wrong idea of your intentions and seem desperate as well as lonely, like you weren't capable of being happy on your own. No, you did not want the king to think that you needed someone else to make you happy, you did not want to be the damsel in distress, although that was exactly what you had been... but not anymore, you had moved on from that unfortunate and slightly pathetic part of your life. However you wanted to give subtle hints to the king and therefore you started to pay more attention to how you looked and the type of dresses you wore, just to stand out from the crowd and to attract the king's attention in a different way for once. This resulted in many compliments from numerous other lords in the court but none from the king... although he very rarely complimented anyone, in public at least.
Perhaps he was too shy to, maybe he was afraid of rejection or being laughed at. "Don't be ridiculous!" you scoffed and scolded yourself for even considering the possibility because Thranduil did not seem like a person who would get nervous and shy around anyone. Despite the lack of verbal compliments you hoped that the king had noticed the change in your appearance as well as the many changes in your behavior; the clear implications that you were ready to start something new. You were ready and more than willing to love and be loved in return. In the matter of fact what you really wanted to do was to walk confidently to Thranduil when he sitting in the garden, or sitting anywhere... your fantasy required him to sit because he was too tall if he stood up... to cup his face and kiss him without asking for permission... and hope for the best.
However you waited patiently for the king would make the first move because you were afraid that if you took action, it would shock the king - he preferred to be in control anyway and therefore could get offended if you did something so reckless and bold. That was the reason why you had convinced yourself to wait and hope. You also hoped that he would notice how differently you looked at him compared to the way you looked at the other lords in the court, because there was a clear difference. Hell, basically you only saw Thranduil and other lords' compliments meant nothing to you. Sure they were flattering and boosted your self-esteem, which was good because your sense of self worth had diminished nearly completely while waiting for Legolas to return... but the bottom line was that you did not really care about anyone else's compliments... only Thranduil's... but for some reason he kept them for himself or did not feel like you deserved any.
It was the end of summer, the night of the annual feast of starlight that was the biggest celebration in Mirkwood. You were excited and nervous at the same time because you felt that you couldn't stay silent anymore. You had to make your feelings known and this was the night to do it. You had tried to flirt with the king subtly and sometimes not so subtly but still it seemed that the king was not getting it. You had spent the entire summer giving him hints but no and therefore you had decided to take the risk of making a fool out of yourself and to tell Thranduil how you felt. You had memorized a speech, practiced it countless times in front of the mirror and promised yourself not to hate yourself too much if instead of giving a fine, skillfully structured speech you ended up blurting something silly like "I love you" instead. No, saying "I love you" was not silly or ridiculous per se, but just throwing out the words without any grace or refinement.
You got dressed up in a gorgeous dress that you had designed yourself, kind of, well... the seamstress had helped you a lot but at least most of the ideas and the general look of the dress were yours. The dress was made of a soft fabric that shimmered elegantly whenever even a slightest ray of light hit it. The cut flattered the shape of your body and brought out the best parts of it, the color made your skin look radiant as well as flawless and the fine details made you look just as ethereal and hauntingly beautiful as the other elven ladies in the court. You put on few carefully selected jewelries, finished your hairdo with a silver chain decorated with delicate silver leafs and sparkling gemstones that made your eyes look like gemstones as well and chose to wear simple, yet pretty shoes that were comfortable and definitely not your typical "sitting shoes" - you were hoping to dance with the king and you did not want your feet hurt too much tomorrow.
You left your chamber, walked along the long corridors and finally arrived to the great hall where all the festivities took place. You mingled with the guests while trying to find the king but instead of locating him in the crowd, you suddenly saw a blonde elf with golden hair and kind smile standing a bit further away, talking to some lady and enjoying a glass of wine accompanied with pleasant company. He was standing facing partially away from you so you were only able to see less than half of his face, but it was enough for you. He looked so… familiar. The elf was wearing a silver tunic and dark leggings with black leather boots, a simple silver crown that had no stone and a ring on his ring finger, he had dark eyebrows and his stunningly blue eyes were framed with long, dark eyelashes. You approached the elf lord, slowly making way through the crowd, and stopped when he turned to face you as he gave way to some elf lady who was trying to get past him. You stumbled backwards, sinking in a state of panic, and nearly knocked a random lady over, because you wanted to avoid eye contact with the elf… you were not ready to do this… not here, not now.
It was not Legolas. You apologized to the lady for making her spill her drink on her gorgeous dress, walked a bit further away from the guests and focused on your breathing. Eventually it returned back to normal but it, the time you had been gasping for air and ended up with shallow breaths, nearly ended up passing out, felt like it had lasted for hours even though it had only lasted for few minutes. For a moment you had been practically one hundred percent sure that you had seen the crown prince standing among the guests but no – it had not been him after all. Actually now that you had seen his face clearly it was obvious that he in the matter of face did not look anything like Legolas... it had just been an illusion created by lights and shadows as well as the most convenient angle. Besides, it had been a long time since you had seen Legolas and your memory of him had already faded out, gotten distorted and false, but for a moment you had truly believed that the prince had come back.
This pretty much ruined your mood. You felt emotional and abandoned so after trying to drown your sorrows and to lift your spirits with two glasses of wine, which you emptied with a faster speed than you should have, you decided to take a small walk in the garden, because you suddenly felt very lightheaded, nearly dizzy, due to the wine. You stepped out from the great hall, breathed in the cool air and stared at the twinkling stars that covered the entire sky. Immediately when your head had stopped spinning, you swallowed your feelings and forced a polite smile on your face, returned to the party and tried to continue the evening as planned. After a while you saw the king standing on the other side of the big room, taking with diplomats and dignitaries from other elven realms, but just as you were about to raise your hand and wave at him as a greeting, you decided against it and returned to the garden. This time you did not stay at the patio that was like an extension of the hall, decorated just as beautifully as the ball room, but continued further into the garden.
The thoughts were going round and round, like a ride in an amusement park in your head; memories and flashbacks, all getting mixed up and leaving you confused as well as mentally distressed. You came across elven couples who had escaped the party, just like you, but they had escaped it to steal kisses and embraces while you just wanted to find a place where you could clear your head in peace. Seeing happy lovers in the state of mind you were in was torture and there was no way you could have kept your polite, yet obviously fake smile on for the rest of the evening, even the brief encounters with the couples were almost too much to handle.
Finally you found yourself at the backdoor of Legolas's old room, the door that led in from the garden. You walked to it, placed your hand on the handle and for your surprise, the door was unlocked. You opened the door after checking and making sure that no one saw you and then entered the dark, empty room and closed the door behind you. The air smelled stale and stagnant because this was the first time in a while that someone had opened the door and entered the chamber, but it did not really matter to you. You just wanted to be alone for a moment... or actually... no, it was too much. You sighed, walked to the backdoor and opened it slightly so the fresh air would replace the stale one. You walked in the middle of the room and sat down.
It was weird to see the room empty like this; Thranduil had actually given the furniture to people in need and stored Legolas's belongings in a locked warehouse next to the treasury. Like this the chamber had no character, no soul, but still you could almost taste the life you had lived there; so much disappointment and bitterness, so many nights that you had laid awake, unable to sleep due to the tears that had kept pouring out from your eyes, but also numerous moments of pure rage, although you had never dared to show it to anyone... except once. Yeah, that one time when you had completely lost it, barricaded yourself into this very room and trashed it entirely. After sitting on the floor for a while, you got up and walked to the window that was covered with long light curtains, light blue in color, nearly white. You took a hesitant glance at the garden through the window, just peeking from the gap between the curtains.
- Why are you here all alone, in the dark? Thranduil said and startled you. You jumped a little, took few steps backwards and stared at the tall, magnificent elf standing at the doorway, one leg still out in the garden.
- Oh, Thranduil, hi. you said and mustered a somewhat weak smile on your face. The room was quite dark but you knew that the elves had perfect eyesight even in the dark.
- Are not the festivities to your liking? the king asked cautiously, his tone was soft and warm but there was an undertone of concern that revealed that the king was worried for you.
- They are... you stated instantly and after a brief pause continued with an unintentionally melancholic tone "...But I am just tired, I suppose." The king was silent, stepped in and walked slowly towards you. He looked very handsome in his fancy robe and beautifully detailed crown and you hoped that you had met him tonight in slightly different, or in other words, in more cheerful circumstances. "You know, smiling at strangers is exhausting when one isn't on a party mood" you commented and sniffled once.
- I see. the king said and looked at you with a thoughtful look on his face, like he had been trying to read you. "So you hid yourself away from the crowd..." he said, stepped a bit closer and added "And me-"
- My intention wasn’t to hide from you. you stated immediately and interrupted him. "I just needed to be alone for a moment" you explained and walked to the nearest wall, to lean on it casually. You sighed.
- And from all places in the palace... Thranduil spoke, took a slow look around and added "...You came here." He sounded curious but also worried, now more than before. He had seen you at the party from afar, noticed that you had looked troubled although you had tried your very best to hide it from everyone and he had cursed silently that he had been duty bound to bore himself to near death by mingling with the foreign diplomats before being free to find you. His plan had been to take care of the duties at first and then enjoy the rest of the evening with you by his side… perhaps even steal you away for a moment… to lead you into the garden and steal a kiss from your lips under the twinkling stars.
- Yeah. you sighed and breathed in. You stared at the eerily glowing light that poured in from the open door, basically ignoring the king and then getting startled once more when you turned your head and found him standing right next to you, leaning to the wall, trying to look as casual as possible. The sight would have amused you normally because the king very rarely looked casual, especially when dressed in his finest robe, but this time you couldn’t even chuckle.
- Why is that? he asked and got just a little bit closer so his arm touched yours, just lightly, like asking for permission and trying to find out whether you wanted to be near him or not - would you step away?
- Peace and quiet. Mostly I just needed some space to breathe. you replied and leaned towards the king slightly. "This room has been sealed off, no one wanders here by an accident" you explained and took a quick glance at the tall king standing by your side. You had folded your arms at some point but now that you let them fall to your sides, your hand accidentally touched the king's, who quickly grabbed your hand into his and tangled his fingers with yours. His hand was large and warm, his fingers long and nimble, his skin soft and delicate, and this feeling of his hand holding yours, his thumb brushing the back of your hand so softly, was making you feel better instantly but not enough to actually get on the party mood once more.
- You could have found those things in my chamber as well. Thranduil commented and turned to look at you, still holding your hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "No one wanders there uninvited" he spoke softly and smiled a little.
- Ah, exactly. you stated with a chuckle. You turned to face him and continued playfully "Your guards would have stopped me and I am sure you do not keep the garden door unlocked, do you?"
- No, I certainly do not. the king answered. "However..." he said, raised your hand on his lips and pressed three soft kisses on your knuckles. "...My guards have been instructed to allow you to enter my chamber" he stated and smirked against the skin of your hand.
- Really? you asked and started to laugh nervously. Your stomach was filling with butterflies because it certainly seemed like the king shared your feelings, at least to some extent. Thranduil let go of your hand immediately because he was worried that he was making you feel uncomfortable somehow.
- I have told them that Lady (Y/N) is always welcome and therefore they must let you pass. he stated, staring deep into your eyes and never allowing you to break the eye contact.
- Is that so? You asked and smirked proudly, however the smirk combined with the tone of your voice made it seem to the king that you were surprised and therefore turning the whole thing into a joke.
- Yes. Does it surprise you? he asked with furrowed brows. The king had assumed that he had been quite open and frank about his feelings as well as his intentions and seeing you so surprised about it made the king confused.
- Yeah. Yeah it does. you blurted. This was not going how you had planned it and you had already forgotten most of the speech you had practiced. This would have been the perfect time to get it out... but no, you were heading towards the moment where you would just blurt "I love you" instead.
- I had actually hoped that... the king spoke with a mysterious tone, smiled and then continued by stating "...You would have a distressful dream-"
- Really? you exclaimed, burst into laughter and added "How nice of you!"
- ...And therefore you would have run into my comforting arms... the king stated casually and continued with an innocent yet heroic tone "...Sneak into my bed and allow me to hold you close and guard your dreams." The statement made your head feel a little dizzy so you turned to lean to the wall once more. "But... you never came" Thranduil stated, his voice sounding sad and disappointed, but not in a blaming way. No, the king did not blame you for taking your time; he wanted you to get to a better place emotionally as well as mentally before escalating this friendship. However, he couldn’t deny it – he had hoped that you would have needed him and allowed him to be there for you, in every way possible, even when your fears and doubts had made no sense… even when nightmares had haunted you.
- I had no idea. you commented, inhaled slowly and mumbled "A pair of strong, comforting arms would have been nice every now and then." The smile disappeared from your face as you spoke and your tone changed from playful to melancholic due to many memories that took over your mind again.
You felt your exterior cracking a little so you walked casually a bit further away from the king. You knew that he had seen you at your worst and it was quite apparent that the king did not mind seeing you in a vulnerable state, hell, he had even hoped that you would run to him some night because of some terrifying nightmare and he could be the one who comforted you... unless, of course, he had been joking... but still the thought of having him see you crack during a night that was supposed to be filled with joy and laughter, made you feel exposed... almost naked. It was too much; the moment when you had thought that you had seen Legolas in the crowd, just now, but then realized that it was not him and all these memories the event had triggered... you couldn't deal with a mental breakdown right now.
- Do you miss him? the king asked you with a hesitant tone. He was able to sense that something was wrong and he had a feeling that perhaps it had something to do with his son. Maybe the celebration had reminded you of your wedding or someone had said something to upset you... or perhaps you were just tired. It was possible, yes, but the king couldn't help thinking that there was something else as well.
- Legolas? you asked, but did not turn to face Thranduil.
- Yes. he sighed.
- No... Yes... Not actively. you sighed, turned around and continued "I mean... I think I will always miss him in a way... but I have accepted that he is not going to return." You rubbed your arms and shifted your gaze from the king to the floor, held it there for a brief moment and then met the king's eyes once more. "It doesn't hurt anymore" you stated although the tone of your voice combined with the sorrow filled look in your eyes made the king suspect otherwise. "I think my heart is finally... truly free" you added but your tone was not very convincing.
- I am glad to hear that. the king commented, smiled and added "It has been a long journey."
The truth was that you were ready to move on and your heart was truly free even though it did not necessarily look or even sound like that now. However you had meant it and this evening would have been entirely different if only you had not been tricked by the illusion earlier, right at the beginning of the party. Your expectations had been high, you had wanted this evening to be special but somehow you had managed to stumble and fall down, flat on your face, and now you were just emotionally too drained to smile, even if you wanted to. This was why you were deeply thankful to Thranduil for not asking you questions about your mood and ignoring your tones and expressions.
- Yeah, you can say that again. you sighed, inhaled and stated “I hope… I hope he’s happy” to which the king reacted with a simple “Huh?”
- I hope Legolas is happy. you repeated and continued with a melancholic yet calm voice. “And I’m not saying it with any bit of sarcasm” you said and added “In fact, I’m being completely sincere.” Thranduil kept staring at you with a concerned, thoughtful look on his face, currently unable to say anything. “I really hope that his mind is at peace now” you stated and smiled a little, although your smile was just a weak excuse of a smile. Thranduil nodded slowly and tilted his head a little as he scanned your expression.
- I appreciate it. That is my wish as well. he commented after finding the right words. You rubbed your arms again because unlike the elves you actually got chilled during the clear, cool nights like this one. Thranduil noticed that you were shivering but he was not sure if you wanted him to embrace you and make you a bit warmer or did you want him to keep his distance for now.
- Hey Thranduil? you asked suddenly. The king recoiled from his thoughts and focused his attention to you.
- Hm? he said and walked a bit closer.
- I must apologize to you. you said as you kept nervously shifting your eyes from the floor to Thranduil and back to the floor.
- For what? he asked and stopped getting closer when the distance between you and him was only fifty or sixty centimeters, which felt like even shorter distance because he was so tall.
- For blaming you. you stated, your voice trembling a little as you spoke. “I made the decision to move to Mirkwood” you said as firmly as you could and then added with the same tone “It was my choice and I shouldn't have blamed you for it.”
- I appreciate it but I did say those things. Thranduil said, trying to decide whether to put his arms on yours and to rub them up and down as an attempt to warm you up. He decided not to because you were not in the mood for such intimacy. “I urged you to leave your world behind for my son” he stated with an apologetic tone. You felt very conflicted about being this close to the king; you wanted to step back and regain your personal space, but then again you also wanted to lean closer and to drown yourself into the warmth that was radiating from the king’s strong body… you could almost feel it.
- And I also have to apologize for not realizing, or ignoring the fact that I am not the only one who lost someone dear. you spoke with a barely audible tone. “It was very thoughtless of me…” you said, sniffled and continued “…Very selfish to assume that the grief was inclusively mine.” Thranduil swallowed when he heard these words but before he managed to comment, you added “When actually it was equally yours... too.” The king felt a heavy weight melting from his shoulders but at the same time, he felt like there had been something crushing his chest and making it impossible to breathe freely – he felt emotionally shaken.
- I... am deeply touched by your kind words, my lady. he said, his voice trembling a little as he spoke.
- Just saying what I should have said a long time ago. you commented and nodded. Then there was a silence that neither of you dared to break; you continued staring at the embroideries of his fine robe while you kept staring at you, breathing heavily and trying to decide what to do. Should he kiss you… or not?
- Let's put the past behind us. the king said eventually. You recoiled from your thoughts, sniffled and shifted your gaze from his robe to his eyes. “Let's look into the future as we live in the present” he said and continued immediately, with great urgency “Right here, right now. You... and I.” The king looked deep into your eyes as you drowned into his and then he said softly “The night is beautiful” and added shyly “You… are beautiful.”
- You are flattering me, my Lord. you sighed, your heart drumming fast and your breathing turning into shallow gasps.
- No. I’m only describing what I see, my lady. he said and then added with deep admiration in his tone “I should have told you years ago.”
- What? you sighed and hoped that he would say that he loved you… or something similar.
- That you… that I… that… your beauty leaves me speechless. he managed to say after a moment. The statement made you blush and you had to pinch yourself so you wouldn’t start giggling like a ridiculous little girl – it would ruin the moment for sure if you did. “I... was hoping to dance with you tonight” he stated, his voice trembling like he had been very shy, a young man asking a girl that he likes, to dance, afraid that she would say no. It was very out of character for the king but this shyness made him even more charming in your eyes… and this was the last straw. You burst into laughter.
- Shit! I’m sorry! you exclaimed while you laughed. You tried to make it stop but you just couldn’t so you stormed out from the room and ran through the garden back to your chamber, your actions leaving Thranduil puzzled and standing in the middle of the empty room, unable to understand what had just happened. What exactly had happened? He had told you very openly about his feelings, kind of, and you had just laughed at him! Thranduil felt slightly insulted so he stormed out from the room, closed the door and returned to his party, assuming to find you there but soon finding out that you had retired early. He tried to piece the whole thing together like it was a huge puzzle but the picture just did not make any sense. Why did you laugh? Why did you run so quickly away? Why didn’t you explain and make the king understand? He had assumed that you and he had been finally getting closer, that you had fallen in love with him as well but apparently the entire thing had been just a huge misunderstanding. Therefore the king decided that he wouldn’t dare to make any further moves until he was completely sure about your feelings towards him… if there even were any.
You were ashamed, so deeply ashamed because you had singlehandedly ruined the most beautiful and delicate moment in years! You had wanted to kiss the king and you had hoped that he would have just stopped talking and kissed you, since you had had a feeling that you would end up ruining it somehow… like you had. You had burst into laughter at the most inconvenient and inappropriate moment due to your nervousness and mental state. You decided that you wouldn’t make any moves until you were entirely sure about his feelings for you… if there even were any… anymore… after screwing up so massively. You knew that you had most likely offended Thranduil, there was no way around it, and you were afraid that seeing him at the breakfast would be very awkward.
However the king handled it like a pro; he treated you in a friendly manner, like nothing had ever happened. He did not bring it up and neither did you and it just became a thing that had happened but was constantly ignored due to the sake of your friendship. However you couldn’t just leave it. Oh no, you needed to tell the king somehow that you wanted him to be close to you… that you wanted his arms around you, to keep you warm and safe, to comfort you and to guard your dreams if that was what he wanted to do. But… how would you make him see this, when he so obviously was trying to avoid the whole thing? How could you make the move without actually making the move? Sure, you were a modern woman and could have asked him out for a date or something, but you were afraid that your stupid reaction had offended the king so deeply that he did not want to get romantically involved with you anymore. You had to find out… somehow… if his feelings were still the same… or if they had indeed changed for good… and that was the reason why you had to be a little bit sneaky.
So the plan was to go to the king’s private quarters when he was not there, you had the access to the chamber after all, and borrow his fine cloak whenever it was available for you. Then you would return it to his chamber and repeat this as many times as necessary until one day he would find you sleeping, wrapped into a tight roll with it and then you could tell him that the cloak made you feel calmer… and if he asked “why?” you would tell him that the reason was…
- Oh, here it is. Thranduil said when he saw his cloak as a sort of a bundle on the stairs of a decked patio. “I have been looking for this everywhere” he said and grabbed the cloak but for his surprise he noticed the bundle moving a little and therefore he lifted the cloak very carefully, just in case there was a wild animal under it. “(Y/N)? What... are you doing?” he exclaimed when he saw your face sticking out from the roll of cloak. You were leaning to a wooden railing and half asleep.
- I'm just listening to the rain. you said and added with a drowsy tone “I love the sound of raindrops hitting the roof.”
- Yes, so do I. the king said and continued by stating with a confused tone “It is very... relaxing. But why do you have my cloak?” he said and asked “Did you not find a blanket?”
- I did, but... I like your cloak more. you stated, leaned back to the railing and closed your eyes.
- Yes, it is an exquisite cloak, made by the finest and most talented artisans in the entire realm. Thranduil stated and sat down next to you.
- No surprise there. you mumbled, keeping your eyes closed.
- I always have it with me... but lately I have noticed that it gets missing every once in a while. the king described, paused and continued “Then it appears into my chamber completely unexpectedly.” You chuckled a little, to which Thranduil commented “Now I know the reason.”
- Hm. I'm sorry, I cannot help myself. you mumbled and pulled the cloak more tightly around you to prevent the chilly, humid air to get under the warm fabric. It was late autumn already and it had been raining almost constantly for a week. You yawned and mumbled with a barely audible tone “When I'm wrapped into the cloak it feels like I was closer to you. I sleep better... I feel calmer-“
- Then you should keep it. the king said and took a shy look at you; you indeed looked very relaxed now, very cuddly even… and your lips… like two rose petals, plump and red, waiting to be kissed. “Oh” Thranduil sighed and turned his gaze elsewhere, to the gray clouds over the forest of Mirkwood. The garden had started to change color and some of the trees had already dropped their leafs to the ground. Yes it definitely was an autumn and soon it would be a long, dark winter.
- No-no-no... you mumbled, smirked with your eyes closed and continued “…Then it would be just a cloak” you said and added with nearly inaudible tone “It has to be your cloak for it to work.”
- To work? Like... wizardry? Thranduil asked curiously.
- Yeah, just like wizardry. you sighed and opened your eyes. You turned to look at the king while he stared at the garden, clearly unable to decide what to do; if he made a move now, would you laugh and run away again or was this, having him sitting next to you, what you wanted? Were you hoping that he would make a move? Did you want him to kiss you? Finally the king shifted his eyes from the garden to you and placed his hand on your neck, slowly brushing your cheek with his thumb while got lost into the mysterious depths of your beautiful eyes.
- Requesting a permission to cast a spell on you. the king said and turned to sit facing you. You followed his lead and placed your hand on his shoulder as soon as you had managed to free yourself from the cloak-roll.
- Permission granted. you sighed and smiled. The king closed his eyes and you closed yours, he leaned closer but instead of kissing you, he stayed close but not close enough.
- To be honest, I am not sure if I still know how. he mumbled and leaned back. “It has been such a long time” he stated with a defeated tone and added “I might have forgotten all my tricks.”
- Well, only one way to find out, my lord. you spoke and removed your hand from his shoulder, the lack of contact making the king shiver and a sorrowful sigh escaped his lips. You did not find him desirable anymore because he was nervous and unable to be as confident as he should have been.
- Give me your hands. you said and waited the king to place his hands on yours. After hesitating for a moment, the king removed his hand from your neck and placed them both on yours. “Your hands are shaking” you stated with a deeply concerned tone that was also filled with tender love. “Are you cold?” you asked and started to rub Thranduil’s hands with yours.
- No. Thranduil said and shook his head as he allowed his eyes leave yours – he was embarrassed.
- Nervous? you asked, held his both hands with one of yours and placed the other under his chin. You guided him to look at you and smiled when you managed to establish proper eye contact with him again.
- A mighty king like me? he chuckled and added “Never.” You chuckled a little and shook your head “Or perhaps only in the presence of such captivating beauty” he spoke with a tone that was filled with embarrassment. “Aren't you nervous?” he asked, hoping to hear that you were… or weren’t… unable to decide which one was the best option.
- No, not really. you stated. The king furrowed his brows a little because he felt perhaps even a bit more ashamed now. You noticed this and therefore you had to explain. “I've known you for over hundred years” you stated, squeezed his hands and gently brushed his cheek with the back of your fingers. “You have been nothing but kind and generous towards me” you spoke, inhaled calmly and continued softly. “I'm certain that you're also gentle and loving… I know you have loved me… all this time” you said with a slight smile on your face. “My heart is fully healed, I am ready for this” you stated and then added “No, I'm not nervous.”
You closed your eyes and leaned closer until your lips landed on the king’s. You pressed light kisses on his lips, soft as a feather, and then, when he stopped shivering, you engaged his lips into a loving kiss. You cupped his face and held his hands until he shifted his hands on your waist and lifted you to sit on his lap, to face him, your knees on both sides of his thighs as he sat on the highest step of the wooden stairway, leading into the garden. You opened the cloak-roll, wrapped your arms around Thranduil and continued kissing him while the rain fell down from the sky and hit the roof, filling the world with the calming sound. Your cloak-plan had worked at last after two months and now it was no longer a roll for one but a roll for two… just like it was supposed to.