Ned / Reader (3) - Part 2
- Time to wake up. Ned said with a soft, deep voice. He had been sitting by his hotel-bed for an hour or two, battling with himself about what he should do; should he take you to the police station or should he wait? The doctor in the hospital had said that your memory would come back within a couple of days and the most important thing now was to rest. It was possible that the accident, whatever had happened, had been so traumatizing that your brain was now blocking the memory entirely to prevent psychological and emotional damage and therefore you couldn’t remember anything.
Ned had speculated a lot during the time you had been sleeping. He had gone through every scenario in his head; what if you had been robbed? What if you were running away from something and that was the reason why you did not remember who you were? Maybe there had been a traumatizing event in your life and therefore you couldn’t now recall anything that had happened before the accident. What if you were just pretending? Surely not… Ned shook his head and scolded himself for even thinking something like that. He had seen the panic in your eyes, he had heard it in your voice… there was no way that you were just faking it.
However, the dilemma remained; should he take you to the police station or keep you for himself for a couple of days? If he took you to the police station, it might be very stressful and cause delay to your recovery. The doctor after all had been very specific about the necessity of proper rest in a stress-free environment and Ned had given his word to the doctor that he would make sure that you would relax. Besides, Ned was your fiancée, well the doctors thought so at least for… reasons… and therefore they were expecting Ned to take good care of you. And it was more than just that; Ned wanted to be the knight in the shining armor… or in the colorful beach shorts… because he was convinced that this, meeting you, had to mean something. “It has to be fate… a start for something beautiful” he mumbled silently as he watched you waking up.
- Ned? you sighed and gasped in discomfort when you shifted yourself on the bed.
- I’m here. Ned said and lay down next to you wearing casual dark pants that had been made from light fabric and a dark gray t-shirt. He rolled on his side to face you and examined your expression when you opened your eyes. You looked very tired and Ned would have loved to let you sleep longer but the doctor had told Ned to make sure that you drank plenty of water because you were seriously dehydrated and as long as you were dehydrated, your body wouldn’t start recovering from the accident.
- Good. you sighed and closed your eyes.
- No-no-no. You cannot fall asleep again. Ned said with a deeply concerned tone and after hesitating a bit he dared to trace your cheek with his fingertips.
- But I’m so tired. you said and rolled on your side so you could look at Ned when you talked to him. To turn your head made your neck hurt and therefore it was just easier to roll on your side. However moving made your skin ache because your back, shoulders, chest and arms were all covered with sunburns.
- I think you need more after-sun-lotion. Ned stated and just as he was about to leave the bed you reached to take his hand and pleaded “Stay… please” with a tone that was almost desperate.
- I will be right back. I will just get you some water. Ned said and smiled reassuringly. You nodded, sighed “Oh-okay” and let go of his hand. You watched Ned getting up, walking to the minibar and taking out a bottle of water. He opened it, filled a glass with the pleasantly cold drink and returned to bed. He helped you to sit up, put some pillows behind your back and gave the glass to you because he suddenly remembered the after-sun-lotion.
- First you must empty this glass. Ned said with a friendly yet assertive tone after getting the lotion from the fridge. Ned had put the bottle there because he had reasoned that the lotion would cool off your burning skin if it was colder than the room temperature. He placed the bottle on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed, facing you, took the glass from your hands and helped you sit in a better position. You blushed a little when you thought about Ned helping you with the lotion but your face was red from the sunburn as well so Ned was unable to notice the blushing, fortunately so.
- It is a big glass. you sighed, almost convinced that you wouldn’t be able to drink all of it. The thing was that you did not feel hungry or thirsty and therefore the thought of actually forcing something down your sore throat was making you squirm and feel a bit nauseous. “Maybe one third?” you pleaded and smiled a little although you were too exhausted to even smile properly.
- Half now and the rest a bit later. Ned said and brushed a runaway lock of your hair behind your ear. This revealed the nasty cut and seeing it made Ned shift his gaze immediately away from the injury. It looked nasty but that was not the reason why he looked elsewhere; the real reason was that he did not want to stare and take a risk that you would feel like a circus freak.
- It is a nasty cut. you commented and turned your head away. “It will surely leave a scar” you mumbled with a defeated, barely audible voice. Ned shifted his gaze back to you and put his hand on your jaw. He guided you to look at him and smiled. Oh gosh, he was handsome and his eyes… such soulful eyes… eyes that were so easy to get lost into.
Ned stared deep into your eyes and he felt like he had been drowning into their mysterious depths. He found your eyes irresistible… with your long lashes, the delicate crow’s feet that formed when you smiled with your entire being… yes… a smile like that really brightened even a saddest, gloomiest day and lighted up the room. And then your lips… yes… Ned had noticed your lips. He liked the shape very much and he admired their natural color. Your lips looked so kissable, so soft… warm… and perfect in every way that Ned couldn’t resist his need to lean closer and to kiss you. The smile faded away from his face and it was replaced with an expression of genuine enchantment, deep fascination.
Ned leaned nearer and closed his eyes. He brushed your nose with his a couple of times very softly, waiting for rejection and when you neither pushed him away nor told him to stop, he finally got a bit closer, still sitting on the edge of the bed and eventually let his lips find yours. His courage crumbled just as he was about to press his lips on yours but he stayed very close, so close in fact that you could feel his warm breath on you lips and occasionally his lips brushing yours as Ned tried to gather the bits and pieces of his shattered nerves. You waited with your eyes closed, slightly trembling as the shivers spread all over your body. It felt like this was going to be your first kiss… ever… and therefore it felt very special… and exciting.
Suddenly you jerked a little and your lips were on Ned’s but before you had a chance to enjoy them, he drew back with a worried expression on his face. “Did I hurt you?” he asked with a confused, deeply apologetic and concerned tone. You burst into laughter when you realized that he had accidentally spilled some cold water on you. Ned had been holding the glass in his hand and when he had leaned closer, he had forgotten the glass entirely and it had caused him to pour a little of the cold liquid on your chest.
- I’m… sorry. Ned said with an embarrassed tone.
- it’s alright. you laughed, took the glass from his hands and put it on the nightstand. “Now, let’s try that again, shall we?” you spoke and put your hand on Ned’s neck. You felt his brown short curls and guided him to lean closer by pulling him gently towards you. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this” Ned mumbled with his eyes closed. “Why?” you sighed against his lips. “I should let you rest” Ned whispered and pressed a very soft kiss on your lips. “Besides, I shouldn’t take advantage of this situation” he added, still brushing your lips with his, barely touching but still making your lips tingle from anticipation and sweet excitement. “Maybe it’s me who is taking advantage of this…” you whispered and pulled him closer so his lips pressed against yours after a long buildup.
Ned didn’t dare to move. He stayed completely still and kept his lips pressed against yours but then you opened your mouth a little, welcomed Ned’s lower lip between your lips and nibbled it lightly and this action gave some much needed encouragement to Ned whose mind had been filled with hesitation and suppressed longing to kiss you. Ned responded to your kiss and enjoyed how your lips seemed to be made for each other. They moved perfectly together, almost like he had been able to read your thoughts and you had done the same thing to his mind, reading him and sharing a deeper connection with him. The kiss remained very sweet and modest, slow and delicate, allowing you both to take your time to connect with the other person on emotional and mental level, not just physically.
- Wait. you sighed when Ned was about to wrap his arms around you and kiss you again, more possessively this time. Ned froze completely still and opened his eyes. “Are you… married?” you asked him with a nervous tone. “No” Ned sighed and shook his head with a smile on his face. “Dating… or seeing someone?” you asked, hoping that he would be single. “No… and no” Ned answered and then added “Just me and my dog”. You sighed relieved and mumbled something about not wanting to get involved with married men which made Ned chuckle a little.
- What about you? Ned asked with a concerned tone. He had not even stopped to think about the possibility that you might not be single. Sure, he had checked out that you did not have a ring in your finger but then again, it didn’t mean anything because it was possible that you wanted to have an even tan and therefore you did not wear your ring while swimming… or you had left your ring home because you were looking for a lover… “Oh, don’t be silly, Ned!” Ned commanded himself silently; he did not want to think that you were a cheating-type… a woman who had a husband and boyfriends behind his back… or maybe there was a mutual agreement… “I’m not interested in that kind of arrangements” Ned thought and shook the thought away. Anyway, the lack of the ring did not mean anything because perhaps you were in a serious relationship but had not been engaged yet.
You stared at Ned with wide, confused eyes and leaned back as you exhaled deep. Ned took your hand and squeezed it softly. He knew that the only answer that you were able to give him was “I don’t know” or “I can’t remember” and clearly the incapability to give Ned an answer was upsetting you. You felt tears building up behind your eyes and after few seconds one tear rolled to your cheek from the corner of your eye. Ned wrapped his arms around you and pulled you lean on him. He brushed your hair softly, with long, slow strokes and repeated “It’s going to be alright” with soft whispers into your ear as you sobbed silently against his t-shirt. “I didn’t mean to upset you” Ned spoke and pressed a soft kiss on your head, careful not to hurt you.
- I will help you to drink now, okay? he asked after you had stopped crying. You nodded and gasped for air as you leaned back. Ned took the glass from the nightstand and helped you to drink. You drank with small sips and emptied the glass entirely. The cold water felt amazing and it made you feel a bit stronger and less exhausted.
- Do you think I would know if I was in love with someone? you asked suddenly while you watched Ned getting the bottle of water from the minibar -fridge. “Would I be able to feel it?” you asked and waited for Ned to comment. Ned stopped to think about your questions but he did not answer. You stared at the tall man, squatting in front of the small fridge and trying to find something that would be easy to eat.
- Because I don’t… you said and rubbed your hands together nervously as you continued by stating “…I cannot even imagine it… being in love with someone”.
Ned took a plate of cut fruit slices out from the fridge and returned to sit on the bed. He filled your glass and gave you a small piece of an orange while commenting “You must be hungry” with a shy tone. Ned kept avoiding eye contact with you until you placed your hand on his neck and pleaded him to look at you.
- The truth is that I do not remember anything about myself or my life. It is possible that I am… you said and then added “…Married even” with a frustrated tone. Ned nodded with a smile on his face but it was quite apparent that he was just trying to cover his state of disappointment. He however was not doing very good job with it.
- But… I believe… I would surely feel it in my bones if I was in love with someone. you spoke as you caressed Ned’s cheek with your thumb and smiled at him a little. “I believe that kissing you would feel wrong if there was someone else” you continued and then added with a hopeful tone “…But it doesn’t.”
- No, it doesn’t. Ned sighed with a shy smile on his face.
- I might not know anything about myself… but I know… you said and took a deep breath before continuing. “…I know that this is where I belong. You are the person I should be with” you spoke with a barely audible tone. You had a feeling that you did not normally have this kind of intense feelings towards anyone, especially so quickly but Ned’s presence made you feel calm and sure about some things… like for example that you were going to be alright, whatever happened… as long as you had Ned by your side. Yes, you knew that any other day you would have felt hopeless and lost in this kind of disaster but now you were almost indestructible.
Ned smiled at you shyly and leaned to kiss you one more time. He took his time to explore your lips as carefully and precisely as he possibly could, holding you close but still keeping his actions modest at all times. He did not let his hands wander off, he did not even try to open your bathrobe or to press himself firmly against you to feel your body’s feminine details. He worshipped your lips with his very slowly, intimately yet without consuming passion and then released them from the sweet, innocent kiss.
- I think we should wait… he spoke against your lips before drawing back. “…Until you’ll get your memory back” he continued and sighed deep. You traced the lines on his forehead, taking your time to admire the handsome details of his face and then slid your finger down along his nose, finally landing on his lips. You traced the curve of his upper lip and nodded when you had ended your explorations.
Ned helped you to drink and eat a bit and then he left the room for a moment. He ran to a small shop right across the street and bought a toothbrush, some fruit-scented hygiene products and more water. He bought also snacks, things that were very easy to eat and preferably could be eaten in bed because he had decided that today he wouldn’t let you to leave the bed, for long at least. When he came back he put the things into the fridge and just as he was about to walk to the bed to check upon you, he heard the shower being turned on in the bathroom.
- Everything alright? Ned asked after knocking at the bathroom door.
- Yeah. you said and explained that you were going to cool your skin a little bit with a cold shower.
- Oh, the lotion! Ned exclaimed and rushed to the nightstand. He took the bottle and put it into the small freezer box for a quick cooling because he had a feeling that the lotion was warm again. It was a very nice hotel room but the air conditioning was not working that well and therefore the room temperature was quite high during the daytime. Fortunately during night there was a nice breeze coming from the sea, keeping the room somewhat cool.
You let the water fall on your skin softly and enjoyed the soothing effect. Your skin was not as red as it had been yesterday but you knew that you were still badly sunburned. After getting out from the shower you wrapped yourself into a large towel and joined Ned on the balcony where he was admiring the view. You walked next to him and leaned onto the railing, let the breeze dry your hair and caress your skin. You noticed Ned glancing at you every once in a while and when you caught him red-handed, he blushed and exclaimed “The lotion!” Ned stormed to the minibar and took the after-sun-lotion out from the small icebox, returned to the balcony and pressed the ice-cold bottle against your upper back.
- Hey! you exclaimed and jumped a little because Ned had managed to surprise you. Ned smirked at you and laughed at your expression that was a mixture of surprised and amused. Ned poured a generous amount of lotion on his palm and then rubbed his hands together. He got behind you and asked “Are you ready?” with a deep, slightly hoarse voice and after you had given you his blessing, he placed his hands on your shoulders. The cold lotion felt amazing on your burning skin and the way Ned’s hands moved on your back, shoulders and arms was just perfect. His touch was gentle and soft, his motions smooth and considerate, he was very generous with the lotion and made sure that every spot on these three regions were properly treated. Then Ned let you know that he was ready and offered the bottle to you so you would be able to take care of your chest.
- This was not a full service after all? you asked with a slightly teasing tone and folded your arms. The statement made Ned blush and he couldn’t do anything but to stare at you with wide eyes. You smiled at Ned as you walked past him, took the bottle from his hands and stated “Fine, I’ll do it myself” with a playful voice. You walked in front of the mirror to make sure that you wouldn’t miss a spot and just as you were about to pour lotion on your hand, you saw Ned walking behind you, leaning closer to talk into your ear with deep, soft… rather seducing voice “Allow me.”
Ned took the bottle and poured plenty of cold lotion on his palm. Then he put the bottle away and placed his hand on your collarbones. He felt you shivering a little and noticed the delicate Goosebumps appearing on the skin of your chest. You held your breath for a moment and then closed your eyes and exhaled. Ned felt the muscles of your chest and shoulders relaxing and then he started to spread the lotion very carefully and delicately on your upper chest. When he was done, you pulled the towel that you had wrapped around your body a bit lower and closed your eyes as you waited Ned to reapply the lotion on his hands. His hands moved smoothly on your skin, adoring every detail while staying modest, innocent and considerate at all times. He took his time to massage your neck and then asked you to turn to face him so he could put some lotion on your face as well. His touch ticked you a little and therefore he had to stop occasionally tell you to relax your face.
- You look so much better already. he commented and pressed a soft kiss on the left side of your forehead. After making sure that every red area had been treated with the soothing lotion, Ned put the bottle into the fridge and led you to the bed. He helped you to lay down and lay down next to you. It was late again and according to your almost constant yawning, you were getting quite tired.
- Tell me something about yourself. you said as you lay on your side, facing Ned. Ned smiled and started talking about his life, bakery and some bits of his past. He told you that his mother had died when he had been a child and his father had left soon after that. He spoke about Chuck very briefly and explained that even though Chuck was the childhood sweetheart, the life together had not been so rosy after all and therefore they had decided to stay as friends. Ned told you also that he did not usually let people into his life that easily, mostly because he was afraid of being abandoned and getting hurt and therefore, even though he was a kind and helpful person, it was quite strange that he had let you so close this easily and quickly.
- Do you want to know why I am doing this? Ned asked and searched your hand in the darkness. “Helping you” he added and tangled his fingers with yours.
- Yeah. you sighed and squeezed his hand as a sign that you were still awake.
- Because… I feel comfortable with you. Ned stated and after a quick inhale he continued. “I am a very private person but… with you I feel like home” he spoke and got a little bit closer. “Like I had arrived home after a long, exhausting journey” he added with a tone that was filled with happiness, relief and calmness.
- That must be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. you said from the bottom of your heart, knowing it in your bones that you were making an honest and valid statement even though you were unable to recall the compliments that you had received during your life.
- I wish I could make you feel the same way. Ned said with a bit nervous tone. “Safe and comfortable” he added and sighed.
- You have been wonderful, Ned. you said and then continued by stating “Truly amazing.” You got a little bit closer as well, now laying on your sides and facing each other so close, that you could feel each other’s breath upon your lips. “I would have been lost without you” you spoke and sniffled once. You tried to swallow your tears but the truth was that you were tired, both physically and mentally, and sometimes exhaustion made you very emotional and during those times it was pretty much impossible for you to keep your emotions in check. “Shhh” Ned said and slid his hand on your upper back. He brushed your hair and told you to get some rest.
- I will take you to the police station tomorrow. he spoke after a somewhat long silence, holding your hand in his and brushing your hair with his other hand. “I’m sure we will find answers soon” he promised and closed his eyes. Soon Ned noticed that your breathing changed and after asking a couple of times curiously “Are you asleep?” without getting an answer, he came to a conclusion that you had fallen asleep.
The truth however was that Ned did not really want to find answers… not yet at least… but he was aware that he couldn’t keep you either. Ned knew also that he was being a bit naïve as well as selfish when he wished that you would choose him instead of your past life, but there was no escape from the fact that neither of you knew what secrets there were lurking in your past… and therefore Ned didn’t actually want to know. He wanted to be selfish for once, now that he had welcomed a stranger into his life. Yes, Ned wanted to keep you, he did not want to share you with the world and he certainly did not want the world to take you away from him… and therefore he hoped that you had not heard his promise to take you to the police station.