Ned / Reader (3) - Part 3
A loud sound of a motorboat engine. ”Hey, watch out!” A colorful wakeboard. Sharp pain and sudden darkness.
You opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling as you tried to catch your breath, covered with cold sweat and basically shaking from the sudden burst of adrenaline. You raised your hand to your head and felt the bruise and then traced softly the surrounding area of the cut. Your injuries had started to heal very quickly since there had not been any infection, fortunately so, and even your skin was not as red and burning hot as it had been yesterday… or the day before that… or the day before that.
It had been five days since the accident and during those five days you had pretty much been just sleeping, drinking plenty of water and eating light snacks, despite the fact that you had not felt particularly hungry or thirsty. And even though Ned had bought some clothes for you; a couple of simple tops and shorts, two sleeveless beach dresses, one short and one long, and a skirt as well as a large sarong to use as a skirt or just to cover your shoulders with, you had not left the hotel room except for few short walks in the garden that surrounded the hotel after the sun had gone down to prevent further sunburns. You had not wanted to go any further, just in case you would feel dizzy or nauseous… or would suddenly remember something… but nothing had come to you during these five days, not even your name.
Ned had been with you on these walks, of course, and he had been very specific about one thing; when he was not around, he still had the baking conference to attend to, he did not want you to leave the hotel room alone. Ned would have been more than happy to skip the conference now but you had basically demanded that he would go. Attending after all was very beneficial for his business… making new friends and negotiating business deals… all very important. However the time he had not been in the conference, he had spent with you, patiently keeping you company even though it had meant that his own holiday of sea-sun-and-sand got ruined by… well… you… or his babysitting duties, like you sometimes thought… during the moments when you felt particularly low.
The only times when you had left the surroundings of the hotel had been a quick visit to the hospital and two visits to the police station. Ned had taken you to the local health center to a checkup the day before yesterday, on the third day, but the doctor had not been able to give you any estimate when your memory would start getting back. He had just stated that most likely it wouldn’t come back as one complete thing but as small pieces that would eventually form a bigger picture. This was a relief in a way because you had a feeling that it would be very stressful to remember everything all at once… keeping in mind that now you did not remember anything, not even your own name… and therefore it was impossible to even imagine what kind of secrets there were… waiting in the dark corners of your mind to be revealed.
- I suppose it is easier this way. you had commented to Ned after the hospital checkup while waiting the taxi to arrive.
- What do you mean? Ned had asked with a slightly confused tone.
- It doesn’t bother me so much. you had said and then added with a thoughtful voice after a small pause “To not remember.” You had sighed and shifted your gaze to Ned who had looked very puzzled and therefore you had decided to explain.
- Imagine being among people that you’re supposed to know. Living a life that doesn’t feel… like it’s yours. you had explained. Ned had smiled briefly and said “All the names, faces and places that you’re supposed to know-“
- Yes, exactly! But you don’t… you stated. It had been such a relief to hear that Ned understood what you had tried to say. You had shifted your eyes to a black car, slowly approaching the hospital, your taxi most likely and waved at it with a simple gesture. “…And then there would be the pitiful looks and questions-“ you had spoken with a frustrated tone as you and Ned had waited the taxi to drive to you and to stop. Ned had interrupted you by talking with a tone that was not his normal voice, to mimic someone that could be your friend
- Are you sure you do not remember? But we have known each other for ages! How can you not-remember?
- Yes, Exactly that! I am sure that I don’t remember and asking questions like that would make me feel like an idiot! you had stated and then mumbled with a barely audible tone “It’s not like I had chosen not to remember, you know?” You and Ned had gotten to the taxi and then you had wondered aloud “Or… who knows… maybe if I knew what I have forgotten, I would choose not to know.”
Yes, there was the possibility that you had been running away from something and in that case to not-remember was a blessing in disguise; you had been freed from the burden of your past and since Ned wasn’t even supposed to know you, you could be anyone you wanted… the person that you felt that you were. Ned had not commented anything because there had not been anything that he could have said, but he had taken your hand and squeezed it gently yet firmly as an assurance that he was there for you. The taxi had driven slowly through the town and eventually reached the hotel where you had retired to the room to have an afternoon nap and Ned had joined his colleagues, other bakery owners, for a business lunch.
Ned had also taken you to the police station, twice, but both of the visits had been complete waste of time. The first visit had been on the second day and it had been a disaster; you had tried to explain your situation to the police officers but there had not been anyone who had spoken fluent English and therefore nothing had been done… or actually, at least one thing had been done. One of the policemen had taken your picture and promised to send it to the hotels nearby to ask if the staff had seen you… but all in all, no real action had been taken and you had been asked to come back on Thursday, which was the fourth day, when the person who was the only fluent English-speaker in the small police force would be back from his fishing trip.
So you had gone back to the hotel and visited the police station again yesterday. However the query, sending your picture to the hotels and resorts on the tropical island, had not produced any answers since no one had seen you… or remembered seeing you. Generally speaking the police’s attitude had been very nonchalant and he had not really even believed your story… and therefore you had called the hospital and demanded to speak with the doctor that had stitched the cut on your face and taken your X-rays. The doctor had explained to the police that your brain, the certain area that was responsible for storing the memories, had damaged in the accident and due to the swelling caused by the injury you couldn’t remember anything that had happened before the accident.
- But you’re not in any kind of danger. the police had stated after the phone call, referring to the fact that you were accompanied by a tall, somewhat muscular guy… so in his opinion, you had nothing to worry about.
- Well, no. you had responded with a baffled tone. “All thanks to Ned” you had added.
- So, what is it that you expect us to do, Miss? the police had asked with an amused tone. You and Ned had stared at the policeman with deeply confused expressions, speechless from such question. It had gotten clear very quickly that the police force here was more focused on solving pickpocket -robberies than the cases of lost identities.
- Can’t you take my fingerprints and run them in some… database? you had asked with strong disbelief in your voice. “International database for missing people” Ned had suggested although he didn’t know if there was such thing and if anyone had actually reported you missing.
- Do we look like CSI to you, Miss? the police had asked and chuckled as had taken a look around his office. No, the police station had definitely not look like the lab from the CSI-series but more like an office of a shady hostel in the middle of nowhere… walls decorated with a couple of old, color-distorted photos, clearly worn out furniture and a ceiling fan that was loud as fuck. You had clenched your hands into fists as a wave of profound frustration washed over you and after a deep inhale you had stated with a polite yet firm tone “With all due respect, Sir, I have no money… no passport… no phone-“
- Miss, the doctor has told you to rest. the police had stated and then continued by asking “What are you doing here?” He had shaken his head and sat down behind his desk, called his colleague to escort you and Ned out from the office and then stated “Enjoy the island with your boyfriend. Swim… fall in love… have a nice time-eh?” At that moment the colleague had entered the room and just as he had placed his hand on the small of your back to escort you out, you had stepped away and said “Don’t touch me” with a threatening voice.
- I am not going anywhere until you take my fingerprints. you had stated to the police officer and slammed your hand on the surface of his desk. This had made the police jump in his seat a bit and reluctantly he had taken your fingerprints, using paper and an old-fashioned ink pad. Then you had left with Ned and returned to the hotel.
- Those fingerprints will never be scanned anywhere. you had mumbled to Ned after leaving the building.
- Nope. Ned had commented and escorted you to the taxi that had been waiting for you at the parking lot.
So, in the opinion of the local police, you did not need any assistance since you had Ned. Yes, Ned, the person who did not even know you but for some reason had taken you under his wing, which you were very grateful and happy about. However the realization of the fact that he was soon going to return home, in three days to be exact, was making you increasingly nervous because you had no idea what you were supposed to do then. The situation was that you had no money and even if Ned generously gave you some, even if he emptied his savings’ account for you, you still wouldn’t have any documents to travel with, no passport, no ID… no name… and this meant that you couldn’t fly off the island.
“Fly where?” you had thought many times when Ned had been in the baking seminar. You had tried your very best to hide your nervousness from him because you did not want him to feel responsible for you. He after all had done so much already and to ask him to do more felt just unfair. The other thing that had troubled you during these days you had spent with Ned was that you were falling in love with him. It had been very easy to just fall in love with the kind, handsome man because the island and the resort had been like a perfect setting for a holiday romance; the sun, the turquoise sea, white sand… gentle breeze… but was it real? Or was it just a fantasy that you and Ned had created in your minds?
The thing was that even though you and Ned had kind of agreed that it would be smart to wait until you remembered who you were, just to avoid any awkward situations and heartbreaks, you and he had continued kissing, embracing each other, holding hands and sometimes having innocent, yet intense cuddling sessions in bed. You had been sharing the bed and slept together, holding each other and staying very close but you had not taken things any further, in other words, you had kept your clothes on at all times. However you felt very close to Ned which was very strange because you did not know him. Perhaps it was due to the situation that you had no one else and you had had no other choice than to trust him. You had pondered around the subject many times and reasoned that since you had met the man before the accident, there had to be a reason why you had spent the night with him in the first place.
What you didn’t know was that Ned had actually lied to you about your first encounter. You had even asked him about it and he had given you a very detailed, romantic story about a beach party where you both had been, just enjoying the beautiful night. Then Ned had come to talk to you and after talking for a moment he had asked you for a walk on the beach along the shoreline. You had hesitated a bit because it was not your style to leave the party with a complete stranger but after a couple of hours of hanging out at the gathering Ned had asked again and you had agreed to leave the party with him. Apparently during those hours he had managed to make such good impression on you that you had decided to trust him and he had not let you down.
After walking on the beach, sometimes dipping your toes in the sea and letting the waves caress them, you and Ned had found a peaceful place to do some stargazing and eventually fallen asleep on the beach. In the morning Ned had woken you up and asked you if you wanted to meet him later. “I really want to get to know you better” he had said but then he had stated that first he had a business meeting and he had to attend it, even though he would have rather spend the whole day with you. “It’s okay, I’m just going to enjoy the sun and the sea” you had said and then invited Ned to join you after his conference.
“The night was magical and so romantic… the stars… the waves… your delightful company” Ned had described and then added “It was clear for both of us that this was something… special.” You had fallen in love with this story even though you did not remember any of it… you could still imagine it, see it so vividly in your mind.
None of this was true because actually Ned had met you when he had come to talk to you during the sunset after your accident. He had lied, yes, but he had done it to make you feel comfortable with him… to gain your trust because Ned was completely sure about himself… that he would never put you in any kind of harm. He would never hurt you or lead you into a danger but the thing was that you had not known Ned and therefore he had told you this white lie about the chemistry and the magical night… to make you believe that you had approved his company already when you had had your memories… that you had trusted him even before becoming vulnerable.
It was early evening of the fifth day and you had just woken up from an afternoon nap, panting and shaking a bit. You got up from the bed without waking Ned up and walked to the balcony where you filled your lungs with the salty sea air. There was a sound of a motorboat or a water scooter getting further and further away and eventually the sound faded away completely. You stretched your arms as well as your back and then leaned to the railing to stare at the gorgeous view; the turquoise sea glimmering in the golden light of the setting sun, a couple of cruise ships a bit further away, getting slowly further away from the harbor… tropical birds singing in the garden and the sound of calm waves rushing to the shore, almost below the balcony of Ned’s hotel room.
- Hey, watch out. you mumbled to yourself half-aloud and then felt two strong arms wrapping around you from behind.
- Watch out for… what? Ned asked with a husky voice and breathed in the scent of your hair. He leaned closer to kiss your neck as his hands wandered under the top that you used as a pajama with shorts. Ned caressed your sides as well as your stomach and then pulled you close by folding his arms on your chest and trapping you into the tight, protective embrace.
- Good question. you replied and slid your hands on his arms. You drew random shapes on the tanned skin of them, traced the muscles and enjoyed feeling his breath on your neck. Then eventually turned to face him. “It was in my dream” you stated and lifted your chin to gain eye contact with the tall pie maker.
- Tell me about this dream. he said and brushed your hair behind your ear. In the beginning you had always tried to cover the bruise with your hair and felt very naked when Ned had looked at it, although Ned had never really dared to stare at it, but now you didn’t really care anymore. You had seen Ned naked a couple of times when he had come out from the shower and accidentally dropped the towel from his hips and same had happened to you once or twice and therefore… a bruise was no longer that big of a deal.
- There was a motorboat… going fast and making big waves. you described with a thoughtful tone. Then you heard the sound of a motorboat approaching again so you turned to face away from Ned to stare at the view in front of your eyes. “A wakeboard… just like that one” you said and pointed at the sea where there was someone wakeboarding behind a motorboat, going around and sometimes drifting dangerously close to the swimmers.
- There was a… you said with a slightly frustrated voice and sighed before continuing. “…A sharp pain and then I woke up” you stated and rubbed your head because for the first time since the accident, you actually felt hungry and this hunger was giving you a headache. It was no surprise that you were so extremely hungry because you had not really eaten well since the accident… and so you had enjoyed a proper meal many days ago.
- But it feels more real than just a dream. you stated and walked a bit further away from Ned as you felt your breath getting stuck into your throat. “I can remember… I can…” you sighed and shifted your gaze from the floor to Ned.
- Really? What else do you remember? he asked with a concerned tone and walked to you, put his hands on your shoulders and tried to calm you down since you seemed to have a panic attack or something like that. Ned did not know, he just saw you breathing in a very erratic and shallow way, basically gasping for air.
- I remember… sipping a drink at a beach bar. you described with a thoughtful expression on your face.
- Yes? What else? Ned asked with a tone that sounded more worried than curious.
- There was a… slimy guy… trying to flirt with me… you spoke and rolled your eyes. “Such vile and sexist jokes” you added because for a moment, no longer than few blinks, Ned seemed a bit jealous. “Trying to get all handsy because he had paid the drink” you commented and immediately regretted saying it out loud because Ned took a step further away from you, an automated reaction to what you had said.
- I didn’t have my wallet with me. you mumbled and ignored Ned’s response completely. “I had left it somewhere” you added and then stated “But I can’t remember where.”
- This man… Ned spoke with a somewhat jealous and bothered tone, paused and continued after a quick inhale “…Did you like his company more than mine?”
- Ned! Gosh! you exclaimed and turned to face away from him.
- I’m sorry. Ned said with a sincerely apologetic voice and then he blurted “I’ve just…” without continuing the sentence any further.
Now here’s the thing; Ned had been secretly pleased about the fact that the police had been so reluctant to help you. There was a part of him that wanted you to find answers to all the questions that were now being unanswered but then again, if you got your life back… it might not include Ned and since he had met you in a popular holiday destination, it meant that you could live basically anywhere in the world! Now you had started to remember something, not much but tiny bits and pieces which meant that sooner or later you would probably recall every detail about your life and to be honest, Ned had enjoyed having you all for himself and he didn’t want to share you with the world… or with anyone.
- You have… what? you snapped with a slightly irritated tone and turned to face Ned again. You were annoyed and frustrated because of two things; first that you remembered so little and second that Ned was reacting the way he was. You had expected him to be happy for you but instead of being pleased to hear that you remembered something, he was jealous and… didn’t seem happy at all. Besides, you had been basically cooped up in this small hotel room for many days, well it was not really that small, more like a small apartment to be honest. However you had been there too long and therefore you felt like the walls were caving on you and the feeling of being trapped and the constant need of being careful not to stress yourself too much, were driving you insane. Ned swallowed once and stared at you with a sorrowful expression on his face.
- I have enjoyed your company. I have enjoyed being your prince charming… the knight in the shining armor. Ned spoke with a shy smile on his face and then added “…Important and needed” but this time the smile faded away from his face, leaving him look worried and sorrowful. You did not know what to say; of course you had needed Ned and of course he had been important, he still was, but it had been quite obvious that one day, soon most likely, you would remember who you are and then you would, obviously, have responsibilities of your own. Besides, you and Ned couldn’t stay in the beach resort for the rest of your lives, just living this romantic fantasy… No, Ned was flying away in three days and you had not even talked about what would happen to you after that… in case you didn’t remember who you were by then.
- I’m afraid that… It… this special thing we share… Ned said and cupped your face with his large, gentle hands and continued “…Will end when you’ll get back to your life.” He kept staring into your eyes, trying to find answers from the beautiful depths but this time your eyes were filled with mysteries and troubles.
- Ned… I’m not the only one returning to one’s own… life. you said with a soft, yet firm tone, secretly enjoying the feeling of Ned’s fingertips brushing your cheeks, earlobes and neck. “You have a life too… and it’s not here” you stated and smiled, just to cover the overwhelming emotions that were trying to trick you to cry. Ned however saw behind the smile and the expression on his face changed immediately from hopeful to worried. Yes, he had thought about it as well; his life in fact was somewhere else and he was running out of time.
- You could come with me. Ned said suddenly with a tone that was filled with hope and sincerity. “Yes, you’ll come with me and I will give you a new home.” he spoke and leaned closer to kiss you. “Keep you safe” he whispered.
- That is absurd, Ned. you answered and stepped back.
- Why? Why is it absurd? Ned snapped with a deeply frustrated tone. “Is it also absurd that I…” he said with the same annoyed tone and then added “…Love you” with a voice that you could barely hear.
- Yes, that is absurd! you snapped and walked past him, back into the hotel room while mumbling that he didn’t even know you and therefore falling in love with you was indeed absurd. Ned followed you like a shadow and when he was inside as well, you turned to face him and stated firmly “You’re not responsible for my well-being!”
- No, I am not, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want a life with you! Ned exclaimed desperately.
- I am a stranger… even to myself. you stated and shook your head. “I am not a pet that you can just take home with you if you feel like it” you continued with an angry voice. “I have a life too, somewhere” you groaned and turned away from Ned to gain a bit of personal space; Ned after all was a tall, large guy, both qualities you liked very much, but now standing close to him and having almost constant eye contact with him was making you feel like there was no air to breathe in the room.
- I know that! But… Ned said paused. He inhaled deep and continued “…But I don’t really have a choice, do I?”
- What did you say? you asked with strong disbelief in your voice and turned to look at him. You couldn’t believe that Ned would say such thing! That he could turn your difficult situation against you like that!
- Let’s face it. I’m the only one you have… the only one you know. What else would you have me do? Ned asked and folded his arms defiantly. You scoffed and stormed to the drawer where you had those few items of clothing and after taking the first garment, your bikinis and the sarong, you walked into the bathroom without saying anything. You locked the door, changed your clothes and came out. Ned was still standing in the middle of the room with his arms folded, following you with his eyes. You walked to the door that led out from the hotel room and put on your flipflops. Ned had bought from the local marketplace for you.
- How about nothing-huh? I am just random woman that you met in a beach party. you stated bitterly. “You’re not responsible for me” you added and glanced at Ned with a hurtful look in your eyes.
- You’re not even that. Ned blurted because he was so caught up with his own bruised ego; yes, Ned was upset and hurt because he had been nothing but kind and considerate towards you and on top of it all, he had let you close which was very uncommon for him. He had allowed himself to fall in love with you but instead of telling him that you loved him too, you were now… what? Leaving? And sure, Ned had been a bit mean when he had stated that he was the only one you had and he had no other choice than to take with him when he actually would have wanted to take you with him anyway… it had just come out the wrong way because the situation had escalated so unexpectedly.
- Say what? you asked, keeping your hand on the handle of the door, ready to storm out any moment now.
- I didn’t meet you at a party. There was no spark… no magical connection… no chemistry. Ned spoke and rolled his eyes. “I just kind of ended up in this situation with you because I came to see if you were alright” he stated with a slightly amused tone and chuckled bitterly. “You had been standing waist-deep in the water the entire day!” he added and burst into laughter.
That was it. You shifted your gaze elsewhere for a second and then took a quick glance at Ned who was laughing his ass off in front of you, like a hysteric maniac. You couldn’t deal with this just now so you opened the door and walked into the corridor. Then you slammed the door shut behind you and ran behind a corner, to hide in a silent emergency stairway, because you felt your world crumbling down. You held your breath until you couldn’t anymore and then burst into tears, collapsed to sit on the stairs and cried helplessly until a cleaning maid came to see where the sobbing was coming from.
You ran down the stairs and stormed out from the hotel, through the garden to the beach. You almost stumbled a couple of times in the soft sand and eventually found yourself in the spot where the accident had happened, although now you were not standing in the water but on the beach, just at the shoreline. You stared at the sunset and sat down on the warm sand, drew random shapes into it with your fingertips and stared at the waves rushing to the shore peacefully, sometimes soaking your toes with sea-foam and then escaping back to the sea.
After an hour the sun dived into the sea and the sky started to fill with stars that appeared on the darkening canvas one by one. It was a beautiful evening… warm… calm… just like the one Ned had described to you… Only if it had been true. Perhaps you could sleep on the beach tonight… because if indeed there had not been any special connection between you and Ned… then maybe the prince charming needed some time off from his damsel in distress… he after all had been just sucked into this mess by an accident.