Yep, Definitely Wasn't A Dream
Darcy woke with a smile on her face, stretching a little and feeling a little discomfort. When she opened her eyes she looked at her clock and it read 7:08 in the morning. She rolled on her back, stretching a little bigger wondering why she felt so good. It was the good kind of discomfort, like after a night of some mind blowing s—
Darcy snapped upright, looking around her room frantically. There was silence in her bedroom, the curtains were closed and the lights had been off, and all the romantic candles had burned out. Last night. The CD. The speakers. Naked Steve. She immediately jumped off her bed and ran over to the stereo. The CD was still playing, track number four, but all she could hear sounded like the radio hiss between stations. The song was over, she knew this. She turned off the stereo, and shook her head. “Take a deep breath Darcy, it was all a dream.” She told herself, and walked to the bathroom intentionally avoiding looking at her bed.
She used the restroom and washed her hands, reaching to grab her toothbrush when she noticed her reflection in the mirror. She nearly dropped her toothbrush in the sink. She had marks on her chest, on her pulse point, and a bite mark on her right shoulder. She could feel her breath getting away from her as she started to hyperventilate. “Okay, get your shit together Lewis, there’s a logical explanation for this.” She said after taking a few deep, calming breaths. She went back in the room, looking for any trace of last night. She threw back her covers and found nothing, other than her pillows smelling like Steve. She walked over to the stereo, extracting the CD hoping it would give her some kind of answer. It didn’t. She walked back over to her bed and propped her right leg on the edge, getting a better look at the inside of her thigh.
Yep, definitely a mark there too.
“Holy shit.”
She had no words. She looked down at the CD in her hand in wonder, amazed at what had transpired. Glancing at the clock and seeing what time it was, she knew she had to get ready for work. She tossed the CD on her bed and finished getting ready for the day, deciding that it was such a big mind fuck she’d have to reserve the time to deal with it later.
She stopped in the communal kitchen on her way down to the labs to get breakfast. She did this when she didn’t feel like going out and braving the streets of New York. Besides, Stark’s coffee maker was a godsend plus Pepper had muffins delivered for the team every morning and were to die for. This morning’s options were banana nut and apple crunch. As she took her first big bite of her delicious apple crunch muffin, Steve walked in sweating from his morning run. He pulled one of his ear buds out and greeted her with a smile once he noticed her sitting at the counter. “Good morning Darcy.”
Her mouth was too full to speak so she meekly waved, her cheeks red with embarrassment. He turned to open the fridge and grab the milk, then he reached in the cabinet to grab a glass. While his back was turned Darcy chewed as fast as she could, then took a big gulp to swallow everything down. While he poured his milk Darcy was given the chance to admire his shoulder to waist ratio, then snapped herself out of it when she remembered the night before. God, now she felt like a perv. And…yep, now her whole face was red. She checked her phone as she sipped her coffee, willing herself not look up at his backside again. She noticed him humming, and couldn’t help herself.
“What’s that you’re humming?” She asked.
He threw her a sheepish smile over his shoulder. “To be honest I’m not really sure. It’s not on my IPOD, so I guess I must have heard it sometime over the last few days. I don’t really know all the words, but it’s something about being in the bed all day.”
She nearly did a spit take. “Sounds catchy.” She said evenly.
“Yeah, I can’t get it out of my head.” He chuckled.
“So how was your run?” She asked, willing her voice not squeak and losing. Mentally kicking herself, she chose to sip her coffee so her mouth would be busy.
He turned around and took a big gulp of his milk, then wiped his top lip to rid himself of a milk mustache. “It was great, I felt really energized because I slept well for a change.” He answered.
“Shoot, I’ve got to get down to the labs. I hope you had sweet dreams!” She replied as she collected her things so she could leave. But Steve didn’t answer immediately. When she looked up, she noticed his ears were a little pink and his cheeks were flushed a bit. She waved goodbye and walked away. “Sweeter than you think.” She could’ve sworn she heard him say once she left the room. Once the doors to the elevator closed, she gave herself time to silently question if she was going insane.
The doors opened to Jane’s lab with Darcy banging her head against the mirrored elevator wall. After the 6th bang, Jane finally looked up to see what the noise was. “Darcy? Why are you banging your head like that?” She briefly glanced over at her, then back down to the Stark Pad she was working on. “Because I’m punishing myself for being a weird, horny, tool.” Darcy replied sullenly. “Oh, it must be Thursday then.” Jane replied sarcastically and ducked when she felt a muffin hit her in the back of the head. “I hate you because that was a good muffin and you made me use it as a missile.” She said, still banging her head.
Jane finally put the Stark Pad down, knowing it was time to put on her ‘best friend’ hat, and see what was bothering Darcy. She walked into the elevator and led Darcy out of it to one of the stools. “Okay Darce, tell me what’s bugging you. It’s too early in the morning to have this much angst filling the room.” Darcy just went to banging her head on the counter, shaking the glass beakers situated there. “Nothing’s bugging me except the fact that I’m going literally insane and the world must be ending.”
“The world must be ending? What level of insanity are we talking here?” Jane asked.
“Like St. Mungo’s insane. Straitjacket insane.”
“Jarvis, please enact privacy protocol Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.”
“Acknowledged, Dr. Foster. No one is allowed admittance without your or Miss Lewis’ expressed permission. No conversation nor video surveillance will be recorded.” He replied.
“What does that mean?” Darcy asked.
“It means not even Tony can get into this lab unless it’s an absolute emergency. Look at me.” Darcy looked up and Jane continued. “This is a SAFE. SPACE. Nothing said or seen here will be repeated.” She said sarcastically.
“Jane, you’re such a bitch sometimes.” Darcy laughed, and Jane laughed with her. Darcy sipped her coffee and started her story. “So get this. You remember that doohickey I got from those Asgardian science ladies the last time we visited? Well I finally tried it out and you’re never gonna believe me. I mean it is seriously shit your pants, in need of adult diapers type crazy.”
“Spill, what happened?” Jane encouraged.
Darcy took a deep breath. “So I attached it to a CD, burned one of my legendary sexy times playlists, and tried it out to see what would happen. When I played it, these lasers came out of the speakers and created an ACTUAL PERSON. I’m not even fucking with you, a real live breathing human being.”
“I want you to realize how good of a friend I am because I’m staying silent and letting you finish the story, even though I’m literally dying inside of not asking questions.”
“Noted and appreciated. So there I was, with this naked guy standing in my bedroom, singing PILLOWTALK to me. And like, what was I supposed to do, not invite him into my thunder down under? So we fucked, and GOD was it amazing. Seriously, IT. WAS. REAL. The whole time I was thinking ‘I must be going crazy’, or ‘I have to be dreaming’, but there is no way orgasms that life shattering could have been a dream. So we fell asleep and when I woke up I was alone, and the song was over. So I thought, obviously, the entire thing must’ve been in my head. But then when I looked in the mirror? Love bite city all over my chest. I’m freaking out!”
Jane took a moment to absorb all that she’d heard, briefly translating some of the phrases from Darcy-speak to English.
“So…a man appeared in your bedroom.”
“Yes.”
“From your speakers.”
“Yes.”
“And you had sex with him?”
Darcy went to answer her but Jane cut her off. “Mind blowing, earth shattering sex?”
“Yes.”
“While he sang Pillowtalk to you”
“Yes.”
“Which you’ve said happens to be one of your fantasies.”
“Bingo.”
“Did you know him?”
Darcy hesitated again, then resumed banging her head on the counter. “It was Steve.” She said and it came out muffled.
“Steve? Steve who? Steve from accounting?” Jane asked.
“No.”
“Steve from security? The one with five kids?”
“No!”
“Steve Rogers?”
“Give the lady her prize.” Darcy finally stopped, rubbing her sore forehead.
Jane’s eyes grew wide with excitement. “Oh my god! You had sex with Captain Rogers?”
“No, haven’t you been listening Janey? It was his Naked Asgardian Magical Counterpart or whatever! That’s what makes me crazy!”
“Darcy…are you sure it was his fake magical counterpart and not him? Or even a guy you took home who looks like him?”
“I’m telling you Jane, I know what I fucked…”
Jane considered this, deciding taking baby steps would be the most logical option. “Okay, let’s take this one step at a time. Was the magical being ever aggressive or harmful to you?”
“Not in any way I didn’t want it to be.”
“Glossing over that one. Did you use protection?”
“No, but I highly doubt I’ll get pregnant or catch any diseases from a magical three dimensional naked hologram.”
“Acceptable answer for now, but we’ll explore that question later should the need arise. Did you take any drugs or alcohol before the event?”
“I had some wine, but no drugs. Not since New Mexico.”
“Darcy are you sure you didn’t see Molly at a party and decide to take her home?”
“Jane, for the love of Thor I didn’t do drugs!”
“Did you feel any differently or any side effects once you woke up?”
“Besides completely fucked out and extremely happy, nope.”
“Darcy, it’s not that I don’t believe you, but this is a little farfetched…”
“Oh, and a Norse God falling from the sky wasn’t? You want proof?” Darcy said sarcastically, before pulling the edge of her blouse to show the bite mark on her shoulder and the love bites on her neck.
Jane blew out a heavy breath. “Well, in science, when you’re testing a theory and the results are inconclusive, you run more tests. I think you should go back and try it again, to see if lightning will strike twice.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying…take two hours for lunch today. Go back to your apartment and try again.” Jane answered.
“Janey, I can’t do that.” Darcy complained.
“Why not?”
“Because things are already awkward with Steve because of this mess.”
“Don’t you want to know if it was a fluke or if it will happen again? Besides, who’s to say it will be Steve again? It could be Tony or Clint…”
“Tony? Come on, that would just make it unbearable for everyone. I can’t afford to be snarky and awkward with him. The snark already takes so much of my valuable energy.”
“Darcy we need to run more tests. You’re the one who wants to know if you’ve gone crazy or not. I think a little social awkwardness with Steve would be worth the risk.”
“But Jane you weren’t there this morning, it’s like he knows.”
“How would he know?”
“I have no idea, Jane! Maybe he’s secretly a Jedi and used the force to tap into my dreams last night.”
“So you do believe it’s a dream?”
“I’m saying I believe some highly improbably shit went down, man.”
“What leads you to believe he knows?”
“He was humming pillowtalk! In what universe does Steve Rogers know the song Pillowtalk?”
“He’s been acclimating himself with the current century Darcy, he could have heard it on the radio.”
“And then when I told him I hope he had sweet dreams last night because he felt so good this morning after his run, he clammed up. And I could’ve sworn he said, ‘sweeter than I think’. There’s some Asgardian hoodoo at work in this place, Jane, and I am smack dab in the middle of ‘I’m fucked’ land.” Darcy sighed.
Jane smiled cheekily. “Well technically, you were fucked.”
Darcy resumed banging her head because of Jane’s cheesiness.
TO BE CONTINUED...