Dirty, Dirty Old Men
5.
It'd taken a while for Tony and Steve to warm up to each other.
The better part of a year, at least.
They'd been (somewhat, looking at you Tony Snark) cordial, but the friendship had only developed after the team had been kidnapped.
Yes, the entire team.
Fucking magic.
They'd been tossed into cells, cells of which even Thor couldn't get out of (cough, cough, Loki) and stripped of all weapons; Clint and Natasha, Bruce and Thor, Steve and Tony. The pairings were deliberate, and that was only because Loki liked conflict.
Of course, Tony was good at causing conflict, great at distracting people.
How he'd even been able to distract a trickster would still be a mystery, but he was practically born an engineer; he was made to prevent weak spots, to find weak spots.
And boy, did he ever.
Loki had been so angry that he'd gone against whatever undoubtedly sick ideas he'd had for the six of them (he'd planned on using the super humans - Steve, Natasha, and Bruce - against their partners, of course, Tony had stopped that from happening) and had instead taken his anger out on who was undoubtedly the weaker link of the group (physically, at least). Tony had mouthed off like his life depended upon it - which was nearly the complete opposite, because in hindsight the other's lives had depended on it, his was nearly taken because of it - and had done well.
In the end, Loki was fuming, black hair frazzled, teeth bared. He'd tortured Tony, teased him endlessly, but it'd kept the focus on one person, rather than the entire team.
It gave SHIELD time to locate them; damage control, Tony's calculative mind supplied, this way most of the team would be at the ready if Loki decided to scale out into the public realm.
It also gave Loki time to do whatever he felt like to Tony, leaving Steve in the same cell as green magic broke and twisted and cut into him.
The captain had never felt so powerless.
"Tony, stop fucking talking, you dumbass!" Clint had yelled.
"Tony, let him have me! I can't die!" Bruce reasoned.
"Tony, you're not trained for this!" Natasha had reminded.
"Anthony, my brother is ruthless, he will not stop! You mustn't continue!" Thor warned.
Steve hadn't known what to say; Tony's actions were shocking to him, then again, he hadn't really known the man, despite the time they'd been living together.
Clint had pressed his head against the bars in the adjacent cell, right above Steve's shoulder, his face sweaty, eyes looking as though he'd been the one to suffer through the pain Loki had inflicted upon Tony (which, he probably had, sympathetic pain happened to those who loved one another, felt for one another - Steve had felt guilt and a voice in his head that reminded him of all of the horrible things he'd said).
"Steve, you have to shut him the fuck up."
Steve sputtered, watching as a wave of green energy took Tony's fingers and bent them backwards, one by one.
The brunette had kept his eyes closed, he'd barely flinched; Steve felt like puking.
Tony had been through a lot, he was strong, he was something without the suit; Steve had only realized this then.
"What do I do?" Steve sputtered out against the crunching of Tony's knuckles.
The genius shouted out again, the entire room flinching against his words.
"Comeon, Lo Lo. Give me a little more, please. I'm a kinky fucker, need to get off."
Tony looked up through his eyelashes, doe eyes showing no trace of pain. It made Steve sick, it looked as though Tony was trained for this.
He knew exactly what he was doing, and Steve had had no clue - of where he was going, of what he was going to say.
Of what was going to happen if he didn't act.
Tony's right wrist was jerked painfully and the crack that echoed around their cells left a bad taste in Steve's mouth.
Definitely going to puke.
"Hah." Tony gasped out, tapping his booted foot. "Your hat isn't the only thing that's horny."
Bruce screamed from the other end of the room, looking green, even if the Hulk had been stifled by Loki's powers. "Steve, if you want to be seen as a captain to all of us then you better make a move. Now!"
Bruce was right, he hadn't been a very good leader to Tony. Then again, a bitter voice in his head spoke, Tony hasn't been a great team player, either.
But he was trying. He was saving his team, much like Steve would've done had he the talent.
So Steve used what he did have: his strength, his body. He wasn't as witty or as good at simply pissing people off, but he could be comforting, he could talk reason.
Steve stood tall, rather than slumping and pacing as he'd been doing before, walking over to where Tony was bruised and broken on the ground in the corner. Loki watched on in interest.
"Is this not the same man who has slandered Anthony in the past?"
Tony opened his mouth to retort, but Steve stopped him, a gentle hand on his mouth. The blonde whispered to Tony, meeting his eyes and seeing the pain in them.
Tony was good at hiding, that's what it was. He was good at being someone he wasn't. Right now he was a man who wasn't in pain.
Or that's what he was hoping everyone would see; and his façade was damn good, until you got close enough to see the details, the wrinkles around his eyes, the way his lips were pulled tight.
"Stark, you gotta stop."
Tony, ever so childish, licked his hand. Luckily, Steve wasn't so quick to pull away.
"Just, stop talking so much. You know exactly what you're doing, I don't want you to get hurt for us any longer. You've taken enough of the brunt."
Tony rolled his eyes, and Steve ignored the tear that fell onto his own hand.
"That's an order."
Tony nodded, rolling his eyes again and looking away. Steve took it as a suitable reply.
Loki was laughing as Steve released Tony's lips, the captain sitting back against the wall, looking over Tony's injuries.
"Oh, Captain Rogers, you have never done your duty before in protecting battered, little Anthony, over there. Why now?" Loki paused, cocking his head. "Because he has done something that you cannot? He has done the impossible, such as survive a verbal spat with I, the silver tongue?"
Tony grinned brightly, shaking his head and holding up a limp finger, looking far too ready to retort. Steve cut him off.
"He made the sacrifice play when I couldn't, when I didn't even know how. Tony," Steve spared him a glance, nodding once; respect in his bright blue eyes. "He laid down on the wire and he let everyone else crawl over him."
"And?" Loki twirled the scepter in his hand, smirk shark-like.
"And I was wrong." Steve was looking at Tony now, over his bloodied face and his crooked wrist. His fingers that were mangled and gnarled. Tony's leg was jiggling with anxiety, much like what Steve was feeling.
"Mhm, I see." Loki murmured, bending down to Tony's level and getting close to the bars.
"I believe that you still owe me that drink, although your SHIELD agents will be arriving soon."
Loki waived the scepter, Tony's fingers cracking back into place. His wrist was realigned, but the bruises and cuts along his body remained.
"I will be back, and when I am-"
"I'll have a cup with your name on it." Tony nodded, shooting the trickster a grin. "Thanks for having us over, good times with good friends and all that bullshit."
Loki only laughed, slow and deep, before waiving his scepter and disappearing.
Steve was left with Tony, who was breathing heavily, sweat covering his thin body.
"Here, lets get you up," Steve moved towards Tony, mind racing as he muttered absentmindedly. "Loki said something about SHIELD being near?"
Steve offered a hand out to Tony, practically holding him upwards. It was the first time they'd ever touched so intimately. Tony was stiff against him, but Steve was pretty sure that it was due to his injuries, rather than his discomfort.
Tony slapped his back weakly, grin wide.
"Real nice speech you gave."
Steve laughed a bit, desperate and hysterical.
"You're something else, Stark."
"'S Tony."
SHIELD agents barreled through the doors, Tony collecting himself as Steve dragged him towards the cell door.
Steve hugged him tight, and Tony didn't pull away.
One of the most unfortunate things that had happened to them had turned out to be the beginning of their friendship; it could only go up from here.
Clint took Tony's other side, shaking his head, amusement and worry on his face.
"That was a good one, the horny joke. Almost made me laugh. Would've too, if you hadn't nearly died, you fucking idiot. I'm going to beat your ass."
"No you're not." Tony murmured, laying his head on the archer's shoulder.
"I know." Clint said, maneuvering him out of the door. "But I should. We all should."
Steve shook his head, smiling a bit. "I think Star-, Tony's had enough. The only ass beating happening has to be in a sexual manner, and consensual."
Tony looked at the captain in shock, mouth agape.
"You dirty old man-"
Clint nodded in agreement, frantic look on his face, "He's been listening to our jokes-"
Steve smirked, hefting Tony up and over a step.
"Now, I think SHIELD'll have a problem with team orgies, but, there are loopholes, I mean, it's technically team bonding, that's what we called it back in my day-"