arms tonite is better than hayloft II
liyue high
zhongli: hu tao’s asking how you all want to die
childe: IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT ZHONGLIIII
zhongli: <3
hu tao: HE USED THE HEART THING STOPP
hu tao: THATS SO CUTEE 😭😭😭
venti: IKR
venti: TARTALI COUPLE GOALS
zhongli: tartali?
venti: TARTAGLIA + ZHONGLI 😴😴
venti: okay okay but back on topic
kokomi: i want to die as the hero whilst also killing the villian in the process.
kokomi: (ALSO OKG TARTALI 😭😭)
ayato: (THEYRE SWEETHEARTS FRR)
ayato: I wanna grow old and Die with my bfs fr
thoma: aww!
diluc: i would like to die in a car crash.
hu tao: oh..
diluc: in collision with the one i trusted the most that aren’t one of my lovers.
diluc: they did it on purpose.
sara: i agree just i want it to happen with poison which was snuck in my drink by a trusted friend.
diluc: ive never related so much to someone oh my god
scaramouche: i want to die within the hands of a worthy opponent
heizou: solving a case but actually being tricked and getting captured then killed
kazuha: i would like to die in a playful duel that takes place on the crux and i accidentally get pushed and fall into the water then drown to death with my sword in my hand
childe: HEY, YOU, DONT U THINK ITS KINDA CUTE THAT I (I) DIED (DIED) RIGHT INSIDE UR ARMS TONITE????
keqing: literally you have to be joking why is hu tao standing right outside my house
hu tao: CAN U COME OVER
keqing: why didnt you just text me
hu tao: i missed u fr
xiao: she just wanted an excuse to drive to someone house
xiao: also hi keqing im driving the car
keqing: hi xiao
hu tao: SMH AND U DONT SAY HI TO ME??
keqing: xiao’s my best friend
hu tao: AND IM NOT??
keqing: not really..
hu tao: HWA
childe: GUYS MS JEAN GOT ME AND ZHONGLI LITTLE STUFFED ANIMALS CUZ WE R HER FAVORITE COUPLE
scaramouche: what.
zhongli: as unbelievable as it is, it seems to be true.
childe: i named mine mr snuffles and he named his ms snuggles
childe: wait omg zhongli they should get married then urs could be mrs snuffles
zhongli: no.
venti: bro hit him with the no AND a period
zhongli: ms snuggles is a very independent woman.
childe: ..
zhongli: she doesnt need a husband like mr snuffles.
scaramouche: currently cackling
scaramouche: anyways
scaramouche: my mom abandoned me
mona: true fact
scaramouche: SHUT THE FUCK UP
scaramouche: i swear to god
scaramouche: let me be in a good mood for once
mona: thats u in a good mood?..
scaramouche: im listening to music bro shut up
childe: bro is listening to the drug in me is reimagined 💀💀💀(I have never listened to that song and it genuinely seems good but i need to make fun of you for your music taste)
childe: ELP ELP ITS ORCHESTRAL
scaramouche: NO BECAUSE SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP
heizou: FR SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! ITS PRLLY A GOOD SONG
lumine: No bc why are scara and heizou bsfs now or something
lumine: if they liked eachother that much then why didnt they all date mf 👿👿
scaramouche: STFU
heizou: ONG STFU
childe: ELP ELP HES LISTENING TO THE DRUG IN ME IS U NOW
scaramouche: SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS A GOOD SONG
scaramouche: YOU CANT TELL ME THAT ITS BAD WHEN YOURE LISTENING TO TIKTOK EDIT AUDIOS
scaramouche: NOT TO MENTION YOU WATCH THOSE TIKTOK IMAGINE UR IN AN EDIT RHINGS
scaramouche: I SEE YOU DOING THAT ROMANTIC SHIT AND THAT ONE THAT SAID “pov: your crush falls head over heels for u as u walk by” UR PROBABLY IMAGINING ZHONGLI
childe: SHUT UP U PRONBABLY DO THAT WHILE IMAGINIGN KAZUHA
scaramouche: WHAT???
heizou: Bombastic side eye
kazuha: dont you dare
heizou: im soruy
kazuha: i refuse to forgive you
childe: NANANA
heizou: Criminal offensive side eye
heizou: WAIT
ayaka: there is no way i just that saw with my own two eyes
ayaka: kazuha literally charged at heizou and punched him sideways and is now walking with zhongli cutely br
diluc: im scared of kazuha and zhongli’s friendship
diluc: they seem too powerful
diluc: one of them is dating someone who wouldnt think twice about manslaughter. and then someone else who wouldnt think twice about manslaughter likes the other one
childe: LITERALLY CAN PEOPLE STOP STEALING MY BF???? 😡😡
childe: FIRST IT WAS VENTI, THEN IT WAS XIAO, THEN IT WAS HU TAO, THEN IT WAS KEQING, THEN IT WAS VENTI AGAIN, THEN IT WAS VENTI A THIRD TIME, THEN IT WAS VENTI AND EI AND SOME OTHER KID, AND NOW ITS KAZUHA???
zhongli: no because
kazuha: literally shut up okay? maybe it is just you not trying hard enough! not to be rude or anything, not trying to insult you, but has the thought ever come across to you that possibly zhongli lets those people make him leave, because of your bubblegum-dum-dum hot pink, comrade speaking, russia loving, gingerbread gremlin, suicide wishing, wanting to fight people whilst knowing damn well you’ll get your ass beat, terrifying eyes that in third grade you said was because you were a fallen angel from gacha life persona, almost got killed by dottore in freshman year, rich self?
heizou: BUBBLEGUM-DUM-DUM ☠️☠️
heizou: (im in the infirmary right now
kazuha: im sorry! i didnt mean to send you to the infirmary
kazuha: are you alright?
heizou: fine lol tots (im not fine i think i sprained my ankle and he didnt even touch my leg)
ayaka: he totally meant to send you to the infirmary ngl
heizou: HE WOULD NEVER FR
kazuha: i would never
zhongli: kazuha’s right!
childe: WHAT 😭😭
childe: KAZUHA WHERE ARE YOU IM FINNA COME FIGHT
kazuha: do it then
ayato: i do not recommend that
ayato: kazuha’s a killer in ice hockey by himself, but zhongli too? hes gonna throw a meteor at u no matter how much he loves u 😭
scaramouche: that one time kazuha beat childe up in ice hockey so badly that childe resigned 💀
dottore: THAT ONE TIME CHILDE CHALLENGED ZHONGLI TO A FIGHT AND CHILDE GOT SEND TO THE HOSPITAL AND HIS INJURIES WERE SO BAD THAT HE WAS KNOCKED OUT FOR A WEEK AND AUTHORITIES HAD TO COVER IT UP BY SAYING HE GOT INTO A COMA CUZ OF PERSONAL REASONS 💀💀💀
signora: we had a party after that day, remember?
childe: YOU HAD A PARTY AFTER THAT???
kazuha: where are you?
childe: ..
zhongli: i thought you wanted to battle?
ayato: TEARS
childe: im
childe: i got checked out lol
ayato: WHAT 💀
childe: um so ya
childe: see u at field day tmrw!
childe is now offline
keqing: i completely forgot about field day
xiao: keqing i dont want to go but my mom will make me go to school can i hide in your house with you please
keqing: xiao
keqing: i love field day
hu tao: HWJAT??
yanfei: there is no way
xiao: flabbergasted
keqing: its exhilarating
xiao: keqing please dont make me go
keqing: you have to
yanfei: i find it hilarious as he says that as if its up to keqing to decide wether he goes to school or not 💀
scaramouche: field day sucks
childe: UR JUST MAD U DONG HAVE A BOYFRIEND TO SPEND THE DAY WITH
scaramouche: SHUT. THE FUCK UP
heizou: Hey. Guys.
heizou: So um
heizou: My name is Shikanoin Heizou
ayato: what 💀
heizou: I have a boyfriend
heizou: And I have a best friend
heizou: And my best friend likes my boyfriend
heizou: So idk what to do
heizou: Please help thank you
faruzan: Dump the boyfriend, date the best friend.
xingqiu: DTAE BOTH OF THEM
diluc: drop the friend
thoma: i think you can still be in contact with both of them! you just need to remind your best friend not to overstep boundaries!
ayato: Drop both of them
hu tao: MARRY THE BOYFRIEND AND LAUGH AT THE BEST FRIEND CUZ U MARRIED THE LOVE OF THEIR LIFE NANANA
xiao: drop the friend probably
xiao: or murder both of them i dont know
keqing: it depends if youre okay with your best friend liking your boyfriend. if so, then you should do what thoma said. if it bothers you, then do something. and who knows, maybe you could date both of them!
heizou: this feels like a kazuha problem
heizou: i feel like kazuha
heizou: cause this would only happen to kazuha 🏃
heizou: I miss kazuha ngl
heizou: hes with zhongli rn..
heizou: I miss my sugar bun bun sweetie pie cutie patootie baby girl kazuha 💔💔
keqing: forget about it. i hate you
keqing has muted heizou
keqing: im never helping him again
childe: sounds like something i would say about zhongli..
childe: FUKC WHY DID I SAY THAT
keqing has muted childe
keqing: i dont want to deal with people with corny nicknames for their lovers
ayaka: looks at lumine awkwardly
lumine: coughs
scaramouche: “cutie patootie baby girl kazuha” 💀💀
tar2y: 💀=😭😢😞☹️
scaramouche: shut the balls up
scaramouche: FKY
scaramouche: auto correct.
scaramouche: i kindly meant shut the fuck up
keqing has kicked tar2y out
keqing: tf
keqing: xingqiu just sent me a list of very specific fanfictions
xingqiu: SCARAKAZU FANFICTIONS FOR A SCARAKAZU FAN!!! CAN YOU HELP ME WRITE ONE? YOU THINK OF THE BEST ROMANCE PLOTS!
keqing: no. if im forced to write about someone, it’d be people who are actually dating.
xingqiu: UGH U STUPID MONKEY
xingqiu: THEN WRITE A LUCTHOMA THING WITH ME PLEASE
keqing: do i have to?
xingqiu: YES
keqing: ok
childe: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, U OTTHER BR THERS CANT DENY THAT WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YO FACE U GET SPRUNG GOT (???) CUZ U NOTICE THAT BUT IS STUFFED, DEEP IN THE JEANS SHES WEARING, IM HOOKED AND I CANT STOP STARING, OH BABY I WANNA GET WITH YA
scaramouche: shut up please
gorou: kazuha just sent me a message on how fine someone is what do i do 😭
:attached image - (screenshot)
|kaedehara kazuha!: SOTP BRO
|kaedehara kazuha!: HE’S SO FINE IC ACAT
|kaedehara kazuha!: im sorry but forget about barking
|kaedehara kazuha!: if he wanted me to get on my knees and meow i would for free no matter how long
|kaedehara kazuha!: holy shit
|kaedehara kazuha!: wrong person i am so sorry
|kaedehara kazuha! has deleted four messages
gorou: LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPONG TO THAT?
gorou: “nah dw bro its fine” HE LITERALLY JSUT TOLD ME
gorou: WAHT
gorou: idk what to do.
kazuha: DONT RESPOND ITS OKAY
heizou: KAZUHA WHAT 😭😭