Finding New Positions
*August 1898*
“I-I really like you, Bill! A-And I hope that you like me, too!”
“Ummm…” Bill stammered as he tried to figure out what the hell he was supposed to say in response to this confession.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Fidget; quite the contrary. Bill would gladly take a bullet for the little guy when it came down to it! That’s what friends did for each other, after all…so he was confused as to where this sudden affection had come from.
Or maybe it wasn’t so sudden.
Bill thought back to all of the signs he may have missed along the way over the past few years and wondered what moment could’ve been the exact turning point. Perhaps it was the morning when Mr. Basil and their boss Ratigan were going at like rabbits again upstairs until Baker Street began to shake right down to its very foundations. Bill was in his room reading a book, of all things, but his ears had been spared the torment of listening to the sounds of lovemaking next door thanks to a handy pair of earplugs from Mrs. Judson.
Then they all ate dinner together after Ratigan was successfully moved into Baker Street that evening, everything from fried fish to a huge pot of vegetable stew. Bill thought he had tied and went to heaven every time he ate a spoonful of Mrs. Judson’s soup.
“This is lovely, ma’am...thank you!” said Bill as he remembered whatever manners he picked up from his new life.
“Don’t thank me yet, boys; not until you’ve seen my dessert!” said Mrs. Judson.
Dessert was a big pile of warm pancakes and cool strawberry jam to go with them. Bill was tearing into two of the cakes when he heard Fidget asking Ratigan why he was about to bring a few upstairs with him and Basil.
“Trust me, my dear Fidget...you do not want the answer to that question!”
Bill didn’t miss the way that Basil was blushing as he ran away. He also noticed that Fidget looked pretty annoyed at being the only one left out of the loop, but he would’ve just left things alone as they were...if it hadn’t been for Frank proposing a wicked idea once dessert was over.
“Oi, Bill!” he whispered. “You, too, Fidget! Come ’ere! What do ya say we go and, uhhh...see what the boss is really getting up to in his bedroom with Mr. Basil, eh?!”
Bill’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.
“Are you mad?! What if we get caught?!”
“I’m in!” said Fidget.
“And me!” Phil whispered.
“Right, then, let’s go!” said Frank as he pushed his chair back to stand up. “Quickly, before Mrs. Judson catches us...!”
Against his better judgment, Bill followed the three of them up the stairs as quietly as their feet would allow and stopped when they heard those familiar thumping noises combined with Basil’s constant moaning every few seconds.
“Sounds like the Professor’s havin’ a good time!” whispered Phil.
“I knew he was kinky!” said Fidget.
“What position do you suppose they’re in?” asked Bill quietly.
“Perhaps doggy style?” Frank snickered.
“No, it’s gotta be the one called sixty-nine!” said Phil as he struggled to keep from grinning.
“Hold on, hold on!” interrupted Bill, who was starting to feel much more confident. “What if it’s all the ‘jobs’?
“Stop that!” Frank scolded when Fidget began to giggle a little bit too loudly. “You’re going to get us all killed...!”
“Actually, it’s called a blowjob...”
The boys nearly jumped out of their skin when they saw that the voice belonged to Basil, who was standing there watching them with a deep smirk on his face and wearing his maroon dressing gown. Ratigan was just annoyed by it all.
“You four need to get your tails back downstairs and help Mrs. Judson clean up your mess, RIGHT NOW!”
And off they ran to avoid getting the brunt of Ratigan’s frustration.
“Heh, right!” said Frank nervously as he tried to pretend like nothing ever happened. “Well, lads, I’m off to help Mrs. Judson now—”
“No, I’ll do it first!” said Phil.
“No, you can clean off the table!” quipped Frank.
“No way!”
So they raced to the kitchen to help wash the dishes.
“I told them going upstairs was a bad idea!” grumbled Bill.
“Hehehe but you gotta admit, it was pretty funny!” said Fidget.
“Heh...I guess it was!”
Fidget paused and looked at Bill with an evil grin.
“Hmmmm...have you ever done those things before, Bill?”
The lizard blushed and frowned as he threw a disgusted look at Fidget.
“What?! No!” he stammered. “No-no-no-no, I ain’t ever done that before, Fidget! I ain’t even got a partner yet, blimey...!”
Bill started to walk away to spare himself any further embarrassment, but Fidget chased him.
“Hang on! You don’t have a partner yet?!”
“No...”
“A girlfriend?”
“No...”
“A wife??”
“No!”
“A boyfriend?”
“No! Fidge, I ain’t ever had a relationship with anyone, ever!” said Bill, suddenly feeling exhausted.
“Oohhhhh...well, neither have I, HA! Looks like we’re bachelors for life!”
“Heh...it appears we are...!”
“Hehe...welp! I better go and see if Miss Landlord Lady needs anything! See ya later, buddy!”
“Right...see ya later, mate!”
As Fidget disappeared, Bill’s stomach was churning like an ocean storm and his face was warm from the blush that took over his cheeks. Why was he suddenly feeling this way towards that silly little bat?
Did it have anything to do with his lack of any real friends before Phil and Frank? Being an immigrant from another universe, all he’d ever done in life was clean chimneys or paint various roofs. He had nothing to go back to in Wonderland.
So if he were willing...perhaps Fidget could give him what he was looking for.