“Tony, be careful,” Natasha warned, glancing up at the red-and-gold suit streaking overhead. “We don't understand this tech yet.”
“Actually, I don't think it's tech,” he replied. “Seems more like what we ran into with Loki.”
“Let's everyone be careful,” Steve said. “We don't need to take any chances.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” Tony quipped. “Anyway, chances are everything will turn out fine, because- Whoa!” His suit tumbled sideways, the right side scorched by a blast from one of the armoured figures they had been fighting for hours. “Okay, what the... Friday, get me back to the Tower, Meat Swap protocol. Jesus Christ on a cracker, what the fuck.”
“What's going on?” Steve demanded. Tony didn't answer, his suit streaking homeward. “All right, team, let's finish this up and get back home. Something's going on with Tony.”
“Friday will alert the necessary people if he's hurt,” Natasha reminded them. “Let's make sure we do a thorough job here. We don't need to be called back out because we were in too much of a hurry to protect people properly.”
“Everything will be fine,” Clint cut in. “Let's get this over with and get back to the Tower, huh?”
Fortunately, the fight was nearly over. With Tony not answering any of them and having left so suddenly, however, it seemed to take far longer than it actually did. It didn't take the Quinjet long to get them back to the Tower, but when they got there, no Tony was present. At their questions, Friday simply said that Tony was alone in the penthouse and had requested not to be disturbed. She wouldn't say anything else, and eventually the team called Pepper, who used her override codes to get them access to the penthouse suite.
“Tony?” Natasha asked cautiously, being the first onto the floor. “Friday told us you were here. Don't hide from us. Whatever happened, we can help you out.”
A teenager with messy hair and a bright smile came out of the master bedroom, tugging up the sweatpants that were riding on his hips. “No idea who you are, hot stuff, but I don't think I need any help. Unless it's on a personal level, of course.” He glanced at the rest of the team, curious, and didn't seem to recognize any of them until his gaze fell on Steve. “Holy fuck, it's Captain America. When did you get out of the ice?”
Steve blinked, surprised. “You know me?”
“Yeah, Dad was obsessed with finding you for decades. Guess he finally managed. Nobody thought he'd manage it, but I guess he did. Howard might have been a bastard but he was always persistent.”
“Wait. Tony?” Steve asked, surprised.
“The one and only. Move, move, move.” Tony waved his hands at them and walked right through them, leaving it to them to move or get walked into. He went to the fridge, opening it and examining the contents with interest. “Okay, that's a lot of food.” It didn't take long before he found something that interested him. “What's with all you guys staring at me? Like you never saw a teenager before.”
“You're Tony Stark.”
“Strangely enough, I'd figured that part out myself.”
“Do you not remember? Tony, a couple hours ago you were an adult. Part of the Avengers. You flew home in the suit, do you remember that?”
“Okay, that suit? Pure genius. And I say that as a genius myself. Whoever made that thing up is pretty smart.”
“Tony, you made the suit,” Natasha told him. “Almost ten years ago.”
“Yeah, when I was, what, six years old? I'm smart but not that smart. But thanks for the optimism.”
“He clearly doesn't remember any of that,” Clint pointed out.
“We know that,” Natasha snapped at him.
“How old is he, fifteen?”
“Sixteen,” Tony protested.
“Tony, it's 2016.”
“The fuck.” Tony almost dropped the plate he was holding and stared at them. “You're fucking me. Gotta be fucking me.”
“No, Tony, we're not,” Steve assured him. “We were fighting some people that had access to alien tech. One of them shot you, and apparently that turned you back into a teenager. You said you're sixteen? So what year do you think it is?”
“It's 1986, and I don't think that. It can't be the twenty-first century!”
“Yeah, that's what I said when I came out of the ice,” the blond agreed. “But it's true.”
“So it took thirty years off his life,” Natasha surmised. “That's interesting.”
“All right, so you're saying that I lost thirty years off my life, was running around with a bunch of superheroes in a flying tin can, and that I'm only a teenager as of an hour ago.”
“Basically,” Clint told him. “Okay, so you're a teenager, you've got be into video games, right? Just wait until you see the huge tv you've got attached to the Xbox One in the living room.”
Tony perked up at that. “Show me.” Clint grinned and beckoned for him to follow, leading the way into the living room.
“Hold on,” Steve protested. “You two can't spend the whole day playing video games.”
“Unless you're A) my parent, or B) my landlord, I don't care.”
Clint snickered. “Well, actually, you're the landlord, Tony. This whole Tower belongs to you.”
“No way.” Tony grinned, a carefree expression that was wholly unfamiliar to the team. “C'mon, man, show me around. I wanna see everything.”
“Sure. But first let's find you some clothes that fit, huh? Friday, order in half a dozen changes of clothes that will fit Tony. We'll start with that and see what we need depending on how long he's gonna be staying like this.”
“Sure thing, Agent Barton,” the AI replied.
“Wait a minute, you can't run off and just ignore the fact that you're a teenager!” Steve told him.
“I'm not ignoring it, I'm taking advantage of it. You said I'm, what, thirty years younger? God I'm such an old man in the future.” Tony made a face and turned toward the elevator. “So I'm gonna have fun before I need to be in a wheelchair to move around.”
Natasha just shrugged when Steve sent her a pleading glance. “I know what you were like as a teen, Rogers. Tony can't possibly be that bad.”
As it turned out, Tony could be that bad. He flirted with every girl he came into contact with, which was mostly on some of the lower levels of the Tower that included the actual workers of Stark Industries and a few SHIELD liaisons. The common rooms for the Avengers intrigued him, and the various entertainment rooms interested him plenty. When they got to the labs, though, that was when Tony got truly invested in what he had.
“Oh my god, you're kidding me,” he exclaimed. “This is so cool.” Dum-E came out of his corner of the lab, whirring with curiosity. “Jesus, it's a bot.”
“Yeah, you made him when you were about twenty. Wrote all the code and everything. He bugs every once in a while but you've never rewritten his code so I guess you like him.”
“He looks great.” Dum-E made a cheerful noise when Tony ran his hand down the bot's arm. “Why did I ever call you a dummy, huh? You're awesome.”
“Ask Friday what you've been working on,” Clint suggested.
“Like the man said, Friday.”
“Sure thing, boss.” Friday brought up the holograms of Tony's recent programs and then waited for her next command.
“Oh my god,” Tony said breathlessly. “Oh my fucking god. Is that – is that a-?”
“Probably,” Clint agreed. “Your tech is about five to fifteen years ahead of anything else that the world has to offer. And you're missing like thirty years of experience. So have fun.” Tony didn't even notice him leave, he was so distracted with everything that was now available to him.
The ran into a problem when they tried to get Tony to stop for dinner. “I'm the landlord, don't piss me off,” he said. “Besides, I don't exactly have a bedtime. Going to MIT since last spring. So I'm a little old for needing a nap.”
Steve looked like he was about ready to pick up the teen and bodily carry him out of the lab, but the others convinced him to stand down. They did, however, call Rhodey to get his help. Even the Avengers couldn't handle this one on their own.
“You turned my best friend into a teenager,” Rhodey stated once things were explained to him. “Do I want to know how this happened?”
“We were running a mission,” Natasha explained. “And Tony took a hit from some alien kind of tech.”
“Okay, I'll clear things and get to the Tower. How many problems have you run into so far?”
“He found out he was the landlord and a scientific genius. Oh and he found the lab,” Clint added with a grin.
“I'm so sorry,” Rhodey said sincerely. “And he's still a stubborn, bratty teenager, isn't he?”
“God, yes,” Steve agreed with a groan. “Please just get here soon.”
“Fine. I should be there in a few hours.”
“Thank god.”
Rhodey laughed and then cut the call. He showed up several hours later, dressed in civilian gear and smirking. “So I heard you guys had a smart, unmanageable problem?”
“Lab,” Clint called in answer. “Oh, come on Nat!” From her seat on the couch next to him, Nat smirked as the tv screen showed a screen indicating Clint's avatar had died in the game they were playing. “Good luck, Rhodey.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Rhodey answered dryly. He got to the lab without any problems and knocked on the glass wall. “Sup, Tones?”
Tony eyed him curiously as he came into the lab. “Rhodey?” he asked hopefully.
“Sure thing, buddy. Got yourself into some trouble, didn't you?”
Tony just shrugged a little, spinning his mechanic's stool in a few circles. “Eh. But I mean the new place is pretty cool. Lots of cool shit that I never thought would happen.”
“But you're worried about something,” Rhodey prompted, raising an eyebrow as he sat down on a spare stool.
“We're still friends?” Tony asked, biting his lip.
“Tones,” Rhodey said fondly. “You're my best friend.”
Tony was a skinny teenager, the kind that Rhodey's mother would have practically kidnapped to feed up. But he still almost managed to knock Rhodey over leaping right into his arms. Rhodey laughed and hugged him, wrapping his arms around Tony's waist in a way he hadn't been able to manage for years.
“It's gonna be okay, Tony,” Rhodey reassured him. “How you doing, huh?”
“We've been friends since MIT?” Tony asked.
“Sure thing. Been together ever since then.”
“Damn,” Tony murmured, sounding slightly impressed. “Never figured I'd meet anyone who would even stick around a month.”
“I did,” Rhodey reassured him, ruffling his hair. “Been around for thirty years.” Tony made a noise of protest but didn't try to smooth his hair back down (it was a losing battle anyway).
“What's with the leg braces?” Tony asked eventually. “Is that some kind of Air Force thing?”
“Nah. I'm in the Air Force, though. But these are from something else. You got in a fight with some pretty strong people and I took a hit.”
Tony backed up a few steps. “So that's my fault?” he asked, running a couple fingers down the side of one brace. “I saw blueprints for these in my recent projects.”
“Yeah. These are your design. Started working on them after the accident.”
“Fuck, Rhodey, I'm sorry.”
“It wasn't your fault, Tones,” Rhodey reassured him. He pulled him back in for a hug, hooking his chin over Tony's shoulder. “Everything is gonna turn out okay.”
“'M still sorry.”
“S'okay. How about we go grab something to eat, huh? Let's have Friday order a pizza and we'll watch a movie. Pick anything you want.”
“C'mon, Rhodey, there's so much cool stuff in here. I can't even begin to say how amazing all this shit is, oh my god, I could stay down here forever. Pleeease let me stay down here all night. Who knows how much longer I have around here before things go back to what they call normal, come ooon.”
“Tony,” Rhodey said patiently. “You need to eat. Please, for me? Consider it partial payback for being responsible for me being partially paralyzed.”
“Ugh, Rhodes,” Tony whined. “So very unfair. Okay, fine.”
“Come on, let's go,” Rhodey ordered, tossing a screwdriver at him. Tony caught it and glared at him for a moment before getting up.
“So, pizza, huh?” Tony asked, curious. “Where do you usually get it?”
“There's a nice family-owned place a couple miles from here. Usually they don't deliver, but you pay them pretty well for making an exception. But Friday can handle all of that, don't worry. Friday, will you get the regular order and send them the usual amount?”
“Of course, Colonel Rhodes,” the AI answered. “It'll be delivered to the common floor as usual.”
“You guys get pizza a lot, huh?” Tony asked.
“I'm usually not around,” Rhodey answered. “Got my work with the Air Force. But yeah, you guys kind of live off of pizza when nobody wants to make something.”
“Well, it's not the worst idea I've ever heard.”
“Good to know. You pay for it all anyway.”
“Using Dad's money, probably.”
“Nope. You've got your own company, Stark Industries. Which you took over from your dad, but you sent it in a way different direction.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You've done a good job, Tony.”
“Of course I did, I'm a Stark,” Tony pointed out. “So pizza and movies, huh? What movies do we have?”
“Well, since it's you, probably any movie ever made.”
“Night of the Living Dead?” Tony asked with a grin.
“You're horrible, Tony, really,” Rhodey told him. “Fine.”
“What about Ghostbusters? And wait, were there ever more Star Wars movies?”
“There was a second Ghosbusters. And a new Star Wars one just last year, yeah.”
“Hold on, what?” Tony asked, with an expression of shock. “Oh my god, yes, let's go, come on Rhodey!”
“There's also new Aliens and Indiana Jones movies,” Rhodey informed him, amused at the way Tony's eyes were steadily getting bigger. “And the Terminator franchise got an update. There was a Footloose remake. And an animated short sequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”
Tony stared at him in utter delight. “Are you serious?” he demanded.
“One hundred percent,” Rhodey assured him.
“Come on, hurry up, I gotta see this! There was that home theater floor that had a huge screen, we can eat there, right?”
“Fine, fine. But you're carrying the pizza.”
“Yeah, that's fine, c'mon Rhodey. Hey Friday, can you queue up all the movies me and Rhodey were talking about?”
“Sure thing, boss,” the AI replied.
“Awesome,” Tony said, grinning at his friend.
“Cap's gonna kill us,” Rhodey pointed out.
“What can he do, really? I mean, the guy's gotta be like three hundred years old. Even if he only looks like he's twenty-five.”
Rhodey chuckled. “Yeah, you didn't think much of him when you were an adult either. The two of you were always butting heads.”
“Honestly, Rhodey, who do I not butt heads with?”
“Me. Sometimes. But that's about it.”
“See? Now c'mon, I'm hungry.”
“I had to practically drag you out of the lab to eat,” Rhodey reminded him.
“Yeah, but I'm hungry now. So hurry up.”
“Tony, just be patient. The braces don't let me go that fast.”
“What if I get you a wheelchair?” Tony asked.
“Definitely not. And you would most certainly not be pushing it.”
“Hey, my driving skills aren't that bad!”
“Actually, they are. I've seen you drive, Tony.”
“The thing with the tree and the bridge was one time, Rhodey.”
“Yeah, it better have been.” Rhodey gave him a speculative look and Tony pouted.
“Okay, so you said you were gonna let me watch movies since you made me leave the lab. And food. I need food. You promised me food, Rhodes, don't back out on me now.”
“Food will be here soon enough, Tony, geez,” Rhodey complained. “You're not starving to death as we speak.”
“Yes I am. Look at me, Rhodey, I'm dying. Just wasting away to bones and dust.”
“I'm sure you'll recover,” Rhodey told him, not bothering to look back.
“Aw, c'mon, Rhodey. I could always get you to pay attention to me.”
“Until I realized that you weren't actually on the verge of dying every time your very overdramatic self didn't get his way.”
“How long did it take you?”
“Longer than it should have, I assure you.”
Tony chuckled, speeding up a little so he was walking side by side with Rhodey again. “I won't tell anyone your secret.” He eyed him speculatively. “Do you still have a pillowcase with airplanes?”
“Anthony Stark,” Rhodey said in a warning tone.
“Knew it!” Tony crowed. “Nah, I won't tell about that either. But god, you are such a dork.”
“Says the guy who was willing to stay up all night in the lab unless I bribed him into eating.”
“That's science, not dorkiness. Big difference. Like, huge.”
“What about your freakout over those movies?”
“Pop culture?”
“Nope, not cutting it,” Rhodey teased. He threw an arm around Tony's shoulders. “Come on, let's go get the pizzas and start our movie night.”
Half the team ended up sneaking into the back of the theater room. Tony didn't notice that in the slightest since he was totally addicted to the movies playing on screen. Between him and Rhodey, they'd eaten almost two pizzas, and Rhodey had brought a huge candy stash. Dealing with a teenage Tony Stark was something that required lots of sugar and caffeine, and if they were acquired from reliable sources, the better.
All in all, Tony passed out on the couch of the common rooms with a half-eaten Twizzler in one hand and a DVD case in the other, ranting about some kind of technical project that had confused everyone else in the room about an hour ago. Steve offered to carry the teen back up to his own floor, but Rhodey waved him off, knowing from experience that Tony hated waking up somewhere if he didn't remember how he got there. It only took him a minute to liberate the candy and movie, and after throwing a couple of blankets over the sleeping genius, he claimed one of the other couches for himself and settled in for the night.
Fortunately a full-grown Tony Stark was there in the morning. He was still asleep on the couch for the better part of the morning, and for once in his life Rhodey saw the rare experience that was a quiet Avengers team. When Tony finally woke up, it was with a deep-seated need for coffee and only hazy memories of the last day. At the news of alien tech, he only hmphed under his breath, unimpressed. Of course, Clint quickly distracted him by sharing all the trouble that they'd gotten into.
Eventually most of the team cleared out. Natasha was curled up in an armchair on the balcony, Clint was whistling loudly and off tune since he had his hearing aids turned off, and Rhodey and Tony were sitting in the kitchen with coffee.
“I'm glad you were here, Rhodey,” Tony said quietly, apparently addressing his mug.
“Me too, brat,” Rhodey replied, seemingly talking to the refrigerator across the room. He glanced sideways and caught the tail end of Tony's smile.