The isty bitsy inconvenience
They screamed by the thousands below him. A familiar and nearly comforting sound that vibrated around him and over-loaded his senses. He tilted his head backwards and stared down at the cars crawling forward.
“Fucking traffic.”
The horns honked below, and the drivers continued their little tantrums. He relaxed his fingertips around his web. Enough to will some feeling back into his hands, but not so much that he'd lose his balance. Suspended between the two adjacent buildings the spider hung stock still, analyzing the crowd for a little over twenty minutes. It only took that long before his fingers started to drum against the webbing anxiously. He had sat way too still, for way too long, for one night.
A tick-and then a bug-sized piece of something hit his web. The Spider was instantly alerted to her close proximity. Not that he missed the clicking of her heels throughout the building, or the smell of her perfume wafting up. A scent that was three days old and a little stale; meaning she had taken the job on the spot if he wasn't wrong.
If he added up all those variables then-
Fuck.
The small tick detonated and spilt his web into two. A snap. Almost as loud as breaking bones. But not quite, and less satisfying.
He couldn't mourn his web or appreciate the sound. He had to move. Gripping tighter to one half of the web, he used the momentum of the blast to swing into the building.
He collided with the window in a array of mind numbing crashes.
The glass crunched and dug deeper into his skin as he shifted. “Mhmm sorry to drop in unannounced like this..” he groaned, then pushed himself up into a crouch to brush off some of the glass that clung to his suit. He gave her a dirty glare. One he was surprised hadn't made her turn tail screaming. Maybe it was because of the mask. "But since it's you Widow, I'm sure you planned for this."
He hopped up onto his feet, all bubbly attitude and happy tones. “That's okay, I'll over look the rough handling this time, if you just give a guy a heads up the next. Us spiders have to stick together after all.”
“Cut the crap Spider. You know why I'm here.” she drawled, sending just as impressive of a glare his way. Obviously she hadn't received the reaction she had expected; because after a minute she finally droned, “You’ve killed one of my team mates.”
“Uh, yea, no... Maybe? If you could just be a bit more specific, I kill a lot of people, you know.”
“I keep tabs.” she agreed, her voice somehow both cold detachment and sharp nip all at once. She paused and he awed at her. when he was finished she sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Reconnaissance and special operatives. Shield agent of ten years,”
“Okay great well I'm sure you probably think you're being super obvious here Widow, but a lot of people fit that description.” He watched her make her way around the room, a slow pace that was likely used to intimidate lesser criminals. But the spider recognized a tic when he saw one. Black widow was just frustrated he wasn't ‘playing along.’ That and she probably hadn't wanted to be here in the first place.
“Wade Wilson.” Romanoff sent a sideways glance at him, she obviously expected some sort of reaction out of her words. Tough luck.
“Doesn't ring any bells.”
“Talks a lot.”
“Most people babble when they meet me, and I don't do well with competition.” He crossed his arms as he met her glare dead on. “ I also don't have any trouble shutting them up.”
“Avenger in training.” she finally answered, more exasperated than her tone let on. He could even see the long winded sigh she held back in the way her eyes held shut an extra second.
“Okay I'm not sure about you, but th’guy sounds like a total shit for brains to me. Who doesn't flash their Avengers manufactured get out of jail free card? You don't need guys like him.”
Romanoff tensed, then stopped in front of the Spider. "People who break my trust, people who go after my team, those are the kind of people I take out." she threatened. Only a foot separated the two, and they were matched in their hostility. Masked, but a tangible force underneath the surface. They were each trained enough to both hide it in themselves, and find it in others. The problem was Romanoff was a one trick pony, and Spider was better trained.
“Woah woah woah Widow, no need to get hostile, you can take me out whenever you like!” the Spider joked. Widow's murderous glare faltered, and she cringed in barely hidden disgust. The Spider didn't let his nerve drop. Widow quickly regained her fire. “Look I don’t know the guy. I'm not saying I didn't kill him but I'm also not saying I did. Though let's be honest I probably did. It just looks like a classic case of a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time."
“It'll do you good to remember our agreement, Spider. The minute you go back on it is the minute I no longer care if you get killed.” The Spider’s eyes narrowed at the little threat. He was well aware of what would happen to him. The picture wouldn't be a pretty piece all done up in crayon, if he ever started shit with the avengers. In fact Romanoff would make personally sure it went ugly.
“Yea, don't I know it. But this isn't that minute.” He rolled his eyes, But once once he saw the red head visibly bristle, he froze. He watched every flick of her pupils, or slight stiffening of her back, with careful consideration. Jeez she really did take everything as a threat, even ominous sounding promises that were supposed to be comforting. “Don't worry, your precious Clint and STEEVE are both safe for the foreseeable future.” The Spider offered with another eye roll.
Her stance effortlessly and instantly shifted into a dangerous one. Maybe naming names wasn't the Spider’s best idea of the night, but at least it also wasn't the worst. He stiffened in response; but his instincts already pushed him into a run. He was out the window before his brain could tell him to just diffuse the situation, and before his mouth formed the words to do it.
He shot out a web but before he could make his way out of sight he twisted backwards to get the last word in. Shouting it out just as Romanoff ran to the window and leaned out it.
As if she ever had the chance to catch him.
“Relict sure would be nice to stay here and chat, but I think it's time I moved on.” He giggled then disappeared behind a building.
A pause
“Oh c’mon! Don't you guys like puns anymore?!”