Beginning
Logically, Alex knows he’s not a good role model for his brother.
He’s been in juvie, actual jail and now, although he’s no longer actively blowing things up, he’s still dangerous. He knows why his parents decided not to tell him about Scott until Scott’s two, and even then he knows they only did tell him because he went by to drop off new contact information and ‘reassure’ his parents he’s alive and saw the toddler, who had dark hair like their father and his mother’s pale eyes- Alex’s pale eyes. But he’s twenty-two and he won’t be upset in front of his parents, especially since he still wants to burn things when he’s hurt and angry.
He just leaves, abruptly, and he hears his mother calling behind him and his father’s, “leave him be”. It makes his jaw clench but he doesn’t turn around. He remembers, back before he hit puberty, when he and his father would play baseball in the yard, his father was proud of him and he remembers his mother driving him to practice and school and passing him lunches and loving him. He wishes he didn’t.
He doesn’t go back until Scott’s third birthday, when he gets a phone call at Xavier’s. It’s his father, and it’s brief and to the point.
“Scott saw a photo of you. He now knows he has a brother and he’s desperate to meet you.”
Alex glances at Sean, who’s trying to eat Fruit Loops on toast, a reward for flying for an hour that morning and Hank, who’s huge and clawed and blue. They're his brothers. And they can look after themselves. “That’s not a good idea.”
“Scott is determined. Just drop in. You don’t even have to come inside, if you don’t want to.” His mother’s picked up the extension, clearly and she’s much better at getting Alex to do what she wants and after arguing with them both for twenty minutes, he reluctantly agrees to go.
He puts the phone back on the wall and pushes past his friends, both of whom are looking at him worried because his voice was getting louder while he fought with his parents but they let him pass and he goes to the bunker, blasting eight mannequins until he feels like a human being again and he goes back to the kitchen, makes another pot of coffee without speaking and waits until he’s drunk half the mug before he looks at his friends and says the only thing he really feels like voicing.
“What do three year olds like?”
He eventually settles on a teddy bear that’s wearing an X-Men suit, not that anyone will know that. He wraps it awkwardly and borrows one of Charles’ cars, the telepath reassuring him he’s got control until he moves out of his mentor’s range. He gets more anxious the closer he gets and it makes his stomach curl. He stops two blocks away and walks the rest of it, because that way he can see how many people will be there before he actually “arrives”.
He’s in luck, there are only a handful of cars in the driveway and he knocks on the door, running a hand through his hair and trying to breathe evenly. The door is opened by his mother and she gives him a wary smile and a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Hello, Alex.”
“Hi,” he mutters back. He sees his grandfather and a group of small children, but pulls his head back outside before the old man sees him. He always liked Grandpa, he doesn’t need his disapproval, not today.
“Here,” Alex says, handing Katherine Summers the package. “It’s a teddy bear, nothing dangerous.”
“I’m sure he’ll love it,” she said. She doesn’t expect Alex to turn to head back to his car, and she grabs his shoulder. He shrugs her off automatically and he doesn’t see her face fall.
“Aren’t you going to say hello to Scott?”
“I don’t know.” Alex replies. “You said I didn’t have to go in.”
“For gods’ sake, Alex, he’s your brother. You should try to get to know him,” Mrs Summers snaps and Alex remembers who he got his short fuse from. But he’s stubborn and he spins to face her and raises an eyebrow.
“Who’s fault is it that I don’t already?” His mother flinches and he thinks he’s won, but then her face goes hard.
“Yours! You were in prison and Scott was a baby and well… with what you can do…”
It’s logical. Alex knows it. So he sighs and relents yet again. “Five minutes.”
Katherine nods. “Five minutes. Scott!”
“Mama?” a small voice calls back. “Mama?”
“Guess who’s here?”
And Scott comes toddling as fast as he can, then, and throws his arms around Alex’s legs with the reckless abandon of the very young. “You Alex?”
“Yeah, kid, I’m Alex,” Alex says quietly. “I got you a present.”
Scott positively beams and Alex’s father, Christopher, arrives, shaking his eldest’s hand and then picking up his youngest.
“Shall we go open Alex’s present in the kitchen?”
“But Granny and Grandpa are in the living room!” Scott protests. “Don’t we have to open presents with everyone?”
“Alex is shy,” Katherine interjects. Scott nods in understanding and they start moving down a hallway so familiar Alex wants to vomit when his grandmother pops up out of nowhere. Her eyes travel from Christopher, to Scott, to Katherine and finally settle on Alex, who waves awkwardly. They widen and she shouts, “Bruce!” to her husband and then Alex is enveloped in a hug.
“I’ve missed you, boyo,” she says quietly, into his ear, arms wrapped around him and he feels so young and so lost. “Where have you been?”
“I was in jail.” Alex says, looking at the floor.
“No, you weren’t,” the older lady says, letting him go and fixing him with the same look she used when Alex used to steal cookies. “I went by the jail in August and they said you’d been released months ago. So where were you?"
Alex gulps but there’s a reprieve when his grandfather arrives and Bruce Summers shakes his hand, much more enthusiastic than his father. “Hello, boyo.”
“I was just asking Alex where he went after being released, instead of coming home,” Emily Summers says.
“Good question,” Bruce agrees, “why didn’t you come home?”
“I had somewhere else to be,” Alex blurts before adding, “I do now as well in fact, so I’ve gotta run. Happy birthday, Scott.”
And he dashes out the door, despite the four adults shouting his name and he’s nearly at the kerb when Scott starts crying. He glances back and Scott’s holding out his arms for Alex, hiccupping and weeping. He keeps going though, throwing himself into the car and clutching the wheel for dear life, until eventually he feels like he can move again. He doesn’t go to the school right away, but drives around in circles until he’s calm and he doesn’t need to blow anything up.
Of course, it doesn’t end there, because his mother clearly gives the Xaviers’ phone number to his grandparents and there’s a call waiting when he arrives, Hank looking anxious and bemused but holding the receiver out to him.
“Hello?” It’s hesitant, because he honestly doesn’t expect his family to get back into contact, but then his grandfather’s voice fills the line.
“I hope you’re proud of yourself, grandson! Your baby brother’s been crying for hours. He only stopped when we gave him your scuba diving teddy. He’s very attached to it. He called it Zander.” There’s a reproach there, that becomes an accusation when Bruce adds a, “short for Alexander” to the end of the sentence.
“I had to go,” is all Alex says.
“Well, are you free tomorrow?” his grandfather’s voice is full of hope and Alex has to crumble it now because it’s better than getting reattached and losing them again.
“No, I have to work. I don’t have much free time.”
“I’m sure you can have the day off tomorrow,” Charles says and Alex bristles at his intrusion into this conversation. Charles is using the phone in his office and he engages Bruce in conversation while Alex is stuck in the kitchen, glaring at the ceiling and wishing he could punch Charles.
“So, 11am tomorrow for lunch? Excellent. I’ll ensure that Alex is there.”
Alex scowls but it’s too late and he excuses himself, hangs up and storms into Charles’ study, fists already balled.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“You have a chance to reconnect, Alex. Don’t waste it.”
Alex scowls but Charles cuts him off. “Hank would give his left arm for this opportunity.”
“Hank’s every parent’s wet dream,” Alex snaps back. “He was never a disappointment!”
“Really, Alex?” Charles says and Alex remembers the shame Hank carries about his feet and he feels a surge of sympathy for the Beast, though that’s short lived because he’s going to be trapped with not only his parents but also someone very young and very old people too, people who can’t move fast if he lets off a blast.
“Charles… I can’t. He’s too young. I’m not a role model.”
“Sean thinks of you as one, and look at the team you two made. Make.” Charles rolls forward and Alex meets his gaze. “Trust yourself, Alex. I trust you.”
It doesn’t help, but it does, and he knows now that Charles has made up his mind so he scowls and stomps to his room, throws the duvet over his head and lies awake until dawn breaks. Then he gets up, stumbling to the bunker, exhausting himself further letting off blasts until he can’t anymore. He hobbles into his shower and dresses in the outfit that’s been left on his bed, simple jeans and a button-up shirt that’s probably Hank’s.
He avoids the others in the house while getting the usual car out of the garage. He takes a deep breath, needlessly. It’s 9.15 am and he’s two hours from his home. He nearly goes back in, to call and say he’ll be too late but the Professor says go in his head and he finds himself turning the key.
He arrives at 11.10 and wonders where he broke the speed limit, but he can’t sit in the car forever so he turns it off. He’s parked right outside his parents’ house and he nearly doesn’t get out, but he sees a small face pressed against glass of the living room window and he walks up the drive, rapping his knuckles on the door.
His father opens it and ushers him inside, closing the door behind him and Alex tries not to feel like he’s been locked in. Scott is trying to clamber up into his arms and he looks at his father for help.
“Oh, Scotty,” his father sighs and picks him up. Alex feels a flash of relief, until Christopher holds Scott out to him and Alex has to grab him or he’ll fall. He feels uncomfortable with this arrangement, but Scott doesn’t notice, babbling to Alex about all his presents. Alex nods along, following his dad into the dining room.
The meal’s on the table, perhaps as a buffer for awkwardness and Alex tries to put his brother into his highchair and Scott fights that until his mother tells him Alex will sit next to him. It’s the seat that’s most difficult to get into and out of, right in a corner. Scott’s beaming though, so Alex sits beside him and stuffs his face full of potatoes as soon as possible. He manages to keep it full until his mother starts clearing plates and then he realizes he’ll have to explain himself now.
His grandmother asks him the same question she did the day before and he shakes his head. “Nowhere.”
“Nowhere? You were nowhere for the entirety of your younger brother’s life?”
“Yeah.”
His grandmother throws up her arms and his own father takes over. “Alex, we didn’t know what had happened to you.”
“I was in prison, then I wasn’t.”
Christopher shakes his head, sighing. Scott pouts at Alex and reaches out with one chubby arm and Alex flinches away.
His grandmother notices, “Alex, you know we care about you?”
“Do you?”
“Yes!” Emily says. “I tried to visit you- they kept saying you were in solitary…”
“I was in solitary.”
“Why?” Emily sounds genuinely upset. “You can’t have been in there your whole sentence.”
“Well, I was. Because I’m dangerous, something you’ve all forgotten! I killed someone!” Alex closes his eyes and waits to be expelled from the house. He doesn’t expect a hand to ruffle his hair.
He definitely doesn’t expect his grandmother to snort. “We talked to Mr Xavier. He says you’ve gained control. And anyway, who cares if you occasionally start fires? We still love you, Alex.”
“You’ve never seen me lose control,” Alex snaps darkly. But his grandmother’s on a roll, rambling about how she loves both her grandsons and his power isn’t so dangerous and it’s irritating but she’s trying to help so he sucks it down. It does help when his mother, who saw him blow a wall off the rec room when he was fifteen, takes his hand beneath the table and laces her fingers through his.
It’s not a perfect day. He’s eaten enough to make him feel awful after an hour, his brother is super clingy and more than a bit sticky and his parents are still wary of him not to mention Alex argues with his family about staying longer and Scott screams when he goes to leave, throwing his new bear after his brother before shrieking and running after it.
But it’s a start.
It won’t be another ending.