All I Gave You Is Gone
Daisy doesn't move in her sleep. Grant notices as he checks on her once more before closing the bedroom door. Skye tosses and turns frequently at night, usually switching from one position to the next. Eventually she decides that Grant makes a better pillow and he'll wake up to find her sprawled across his chest. Perhaps it has more to do with Daisy's lifestyle, Skye is relaxed and free whereas Daisy is constantly on edge, ready for anything. Grant can relate.
''She's so going to kill us when she wakes up''. Kebo says when Grant comes back into the living room. ''Let's hope not''. ''There's a positive attitude boss. Really reassuring, thanks''. ''Kebo relax, it will all be fine. I know how to handle her, okay?'' ''You better be right, I have no desire to track down Skye and tell her that her husband was killed by her alternate dimension self''. ''Lucky for you that's not going to happen''.
Kebo flips through the news channels on the TV, scowls in annoyance when he can't find anything to watch. ''I'm already bored''. Grant continues to ignore him and clean his gun. ''Go for a walk''. ''And leave you here with the walking disaster in the next room? I'll pass''. ''Do you have a problem with Daisy? Ever since we started this mission you've been against her this entire time. Why?'' ''You really have no idea? Completely clueless?'' Grant nods.
Kebo switches off the TV and walks up to the counter, leans against it and faces Grant. ''When Skye all those years ago was going by Daisy and still hated you I was always on the look out for her, ready to take her out if she got too close. So when she showed up at Hydra I was prepared to do what needed to be done to protect you. And then I saw how you looked at her, and I couldn't. I couldn't take away the person you love, besides she didn't shoot you again so I was okay''. Grant folds his arms over his chest, ''there a point to your story?''
''Well if you would let me finish, yes. I trusted Skye and became her friend because I realized that she loved you too, even if she didn't show it at first. I mean why else would she come find you? But this version of Skye, Agent Daisy Johnson doesn't love you. She hates you, would want more than anything to see you suffer and die. I honestly don't think it would make a difference if she knew you are not the same man, as long as she sees you bleed''.
''You're assuming, we won't know anything until she wakes up''. ''Skye has told me about her days as Daisy, and they weren't pretty. I'm just looking out for you boss''. Grant glances at his scarred hands before responding, ''I appreciate it. But I can handle Daisy, she's still some version of Skye. I can't just abandon her or let Shield have her, they'll lock her up and treat her like a prisoner. Coulson will think he's helping her, but he'll just damage her further''.
''I miss Quake''. Kebo says a few moments later and Grant agrees. ''When Daisy is better we'll get Skye and go home''. ''What about Hive? is there a way to save Ward?'' ''I don't know''. John's voice whispers in Grant's ear telling him how pathetic and weak he is, despite all the years his former mentor has been long dead Grant still winces. ''You alright boss?'' ''Yeah''. Kebo observes him for a moment before turning his attention to the beer in the fridge.
The first thing Daisy registers is the pain in her head. Like someone cracked open her mind and dug inside, rattling her brain and all it's contents. The second is that the bullet wound in her arm that May left has been freshly cleaned and the guaze has been changed. She's also very sore and tired, when she opens her eyes she's met with low light and sealed tight curtains against the window. She's in a bedroom with cream sheets and oatmeal colored carpet.
Where the hell is she? Daisy flexes her fingers and then freezes. Images of Ward's face that she knows wasn't his flash over and over and over. That cruel smile, cold to the touch and his dark eyes that held no warmth like they used to. Before. Before Ward died on that god forsaken planet at the hands of the very monster who now took over his body. Slowly the memories trickle back to her piece by piece, the glass shakes in the windows.
Daisy leans over the small bed and vomits all over the clean carpet. Dry heaves until her throat hurts and she breaks out into a cold sweat. She won't think about him she won't think about what she did she won't she won't she won't she won't. Mack. Mack with his bruised face how all he wanted was to bring her back home, to save her. Daisy wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, leans against the strange headboard and takes in the room.
It's a welcome distraction for the moment. There's nothing special to it, plain white vacant walls, a white wooden door with a gold handle that's closed. There's two more doors on the right wall that is probably a bathroom and closet. One chair is on the left side of the bed and a nightstand is on the opposite side. It's basic, reveals nothing. If she's alone, if she's not. How the hell did she get here? After a more thorough search there are no weapons anywhere.
The room begins to sway and Daisy loses her balance, crashes into the night stand. She grabs the edge of the bed for support to catch her breath. Ward's face that wasn't his at all runs through her brain again his hands that used to be so calloused showing her that he was indeed human, were soft and like ice. Nothing like the skin of Ward she felt once when his hands cupped her cheeks. Daisy's lungs constrict as the thoughts consume her and she feels ill again.
Grant is so silent as he opens the door, he does not want Daisy to hear him so she doesn't. Does not actually notice someone else is in the room with her until it's too late. She stands upright and her doe eyes meet his, she freezes. Her hands cover her mouth as in fear, she backs away from him and her hip hits the end of the leather chair hard. ''I'm not going to hurt you''. Grant says, his palms out in front of him in a non threatening manner. The window behind her suddenly shatters and on instinct Grant grabs her to protect her skin from the falling glass.
It was the wrong thing to do. She starts screaming beneath him, writhing against his hold like he's causing her harm. He has her wrists pinned to her sides and Grant releases them, leans away from her. ''Daisy I'm not going to hurt you, I promise''. She quiets and is breathing hard, he offers his hand to help her up. She doesn't take it. Just stays sitting on the floor in a squatting position like she's going to run at any moment. Grant does the same, making sure to stay on her level, look into her eyes that are filled with guilt and self hatred.
''Daisy I''- He trained her once upon a time and knows May's fighting style, so he's ready for her strike. Blocks the hand aimed for his nose and brushes off the kick to his ribs. ''I'm trying to help you''. Daisy waves her palm and Grant is thrown across the room. She makes a break for the door and sprints into the living room. Does not even acknowledge Kebo who is standing by the couch shaking his head in a 'I told him so' gesture. Grant should have listened to him.
Daisy isn't sure where she's headed, just away. This has to be a bad dream, Ward is dead. Hive took over his body and that defintely looked like Grant Ward back there. She's asleep, any second now she'll wake back up and feel that rush. That warm gooey feeling in her bones whenever she looks at Hive, she wants it. Craves that securtiy and purpose only he could provide. Daisy never knew what home meant until he chose her to be at his side.
She makes it to the tree line before strong hands grab at her back, gentle in a way. ''Daisy listen to me. I am not him, I'm not going to hurt you. I swore I'd never lie to you, didn't I?'' ''Let go of me! I want to go back!'' The arms wrapped around her turn to steel and she fights them off, to no avail. The ground below them breaks just enough to knock Grant off his feet and Daisy uses this to her advantage. Swings her head back to meet his nose and she stumbles away from him.
Turns to face Ward who she isn't sure is Ward but sure as hell isn't Hive. His nose is bleeidng and he's looking at her with understanding painted all over his cheeks. ''I just want to help you''. ''Only Hive can help me''. ''Daisy that's not true''. Grant knows that she's no longer brain washed but she's still confused. It's going to take some time for her to differentiate between reality and her dreams. Daisy winces as she spirals, no no no no it's wrong she doesn't want Hive.
But she does, and then she doesn't. Her head is screaming to go back while her body is telling her to trust whatever the hell is happening right now. That this person can help her. Daisy catches her breath, her hands on her knees. ''Daisy I know what you're going through, please let me help you''. Grant almost grows hopeful at the way she looks at him, like she knows him. But then her eyes cloud over and he braces himself as the ground starts to crumble.
She takes off again just as the trees around them being to fall, Grant catches up to her effortlessly. His hand grazes her arm and she spins around, swings her fist to catch his temple and he throws it off. ''I'm not going to hurt you''. She's breathing hard and suddenly so quickly she doesn't have time to react a tree breaks behind her, headed straight for her. Grant grabs her and pulls away, the foilage around them is set ablaze.
Her eyes widen as she sees the flames form at the base of his plams and travel up his arms, none of them touch her. Like a memory she'd forgotten it comes back to her, Daisy remembers seeing him and Hive. Fighting and her trying to stop them because she had to, no harm could come to him, she wouldn't let it happen. And then strong warm arounds around her, he had said he wasn't going to hurt her. This isn't Hive, or Grant Ward for that matter.
''You saved me''. Grant almost sags in relief when he sees that Daisy has decided he is no longer a threat. ''I think that I did''. She's still trapped underneath him as the flames and smoke die off. Leaving ash in it's wake and the smell of burning wood. ''Why?'' Grant gets up and this time she lets him help her up. His hand warm in hers, Grant releases her palm and eyes her closely. ''I had to''. Grant takes her in with the scar on her face and her dark clothes, she's been through hell and he wants to help her out of it.
''Do you believe that I'm telling you the truth? That I won't hurt you?'' All Daisy sees in this moment is Ward in Vault D with his haunted whiskey eyes begging her to believe him. Just like back then Daisy nods, crosses her arms. ''I can't breathe''. She says and she falters as Hive's face comes and goes in front of her vision. With his cool controlled voice calling out to her. No no no no she doesn't want him but she does she craves that peaceful welcoming aura about him.
Behind closed eyelids she sees everything he offered her, security a safe place. Somewhere she felt like she belonged, for once in her life she had a home. Something real. But there's this small voice in the back of her head telling her it's wrong, that Hive was wrong. That he used her, he didn't care about her. ''That voice in your head Daisy, the one that's telling you how wrong it all was, listen to it. Everything that Hive told you was a lie''.
She's shaking her head but looks like she wants to believe him. Grant moves to her just a tad and she flinches. ''I want to go back''. ''You can't. I can't let that happen. I know it hurts and I'm sorry about that, but you're safe here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, he won't hurt you here. Hive can't find you here and I'm sure part of you wants him to, but that part is a lie''. Daisy takes a deep breath and calms her shaking fingers.
''I'm tired''. She says, her voice devoid of every emotion. ''Are you going to keep me prisoner here too? Or am I free to go?'' Grant thinks on this, realizing that his actions probably made her think he was holding her hostage. When in reality he was just trying to explain himself and in her confused state of mind he didn't want her hurting herself when she was running off. What would Skye say if she was here? How would she want him to handle this?
''You can stay, if you want''. Is he deliberately saying things from their past to make her trust him? Yes, yes he is. ''But you can leave too, but I know that Shield will lock you up. They won't trust you or even try to help you Daisy, all they want is information on how to defeat Hive. But you don't know any of that do you? You were just trying to help him, trying to save him''. He knows exactly what that's like. Daisy nods and tears flood her eyes.
''There's something wrong with me''. Her voice breaks but she won't let her emotions have free reign. She's fighting them and Grant can see May's training coming to light. He doesn't think the Calvary was the best person to train her after he was gone, in Grant's world and in this one. May is too cold, too hard and bitter. Grant can see that she's taken what made Daisy Skye and crushed it, just like she did in his dimension. Thank god Skye left Shield with him when she did.
''There's nothing wrong with you Daisy''. After a beat she turns on her heel and heads back to the house, he breathes a sigh of relief and follows her. Daisy walks straight past Kebo into the bedroom once more and closes the door. The light turns off and Grant leaves her be. ''So that went smashing''. Kebo comments and hands Grant a paper towel to wipe the blood off his nose. ''It went as well as expected''. ''I'm amazed she didn't try to kill you''.
''I think she's too consumed with everything right now to care. She didn't even blink when she noticed that I wasn't Hive or the Ward from here''. Kebo raises an eyebrow, ''that's strange''. Grant glances at the bedroom door where he hears her shift into the mattress. ''This isn't going to be easy''. Kebo claps him on the shoulder, ''no, not it's not. Have fun with that''. ''And what are you going to be doing while I'm helping her?''
Kebo takes a seat on the couch and sips his beer, ''exactly this my friend''. ''Thanks for the support''. ''Any time boss''. Grant sits beside him and swipes the unopened beer bottle off the table. ''I think Skye would want you to be doing this''. ''Yeah?'' ''Yeah. I mean she wouldn't want her other half to be locked up like some kind of animal, right? Shield is Daisy's enemy right now, they won't help her. You're right, and Skye would be proud of you right now''.
Grant stares at the TV before responding. ''Earlier you said she'd kick my ass''. Kebo chuckles quietly, ''that too. But she'll understand and she'd be greatful for it''. Grant fiddles with his wedding ring and sighs. ''I want you try and see if there's a way to save Ward from Hive. If there's a way to take him out without destroying Ward entirely''. ''You got it boss. You think she'll be okay?'' Kebo nods to the bedroom door. ''Not right now, but eventually''.
Daisy can't sit still. Her mind won't stop racing. One minute she sees herself as Daisy Johnson and the next all she can picture is Hive. How she would have done anything to please him, to make the rest of the world see that all he wanted was a connection. And she understood it, in her own way. That could also be the mind control talking, her head feels like it's been filled with cotton balls and then all of them were ripped out and she was left bleeding.
She paces the small room, gets in and out of the bed. Takes a shower, one freezing cold and another scalding hot to where it leaves her skin red and sensitive. Mack's pleas echo in her ears, the strike of May's bullet, Hive's arms around her as he cradled her to his chest. Fitz's face when she begged him to stop trying to save her. God, Lincoln's face when she told him that they could have everything they ever wanted if he just came with her.
Her chest burns when she thinks of Lincoln. How awful this must have been for him. Daisy thinks of Ward and how he's dead and gone, never to see her again. That thought upsets her more than she expected. She gets a vision of his smile before it's replaced by Hive's cruel grin and she runs to the bathroom and vomits into the sick. Daisy drags herself back to bed and sees that her mess from earlier has been cleaned, the carpet isn't even stained.
Daisy buries herself in the warm soft quilt but finds no comfort in it. Stares up at the white ceiling as her brain continues it's torture. Eventually she falls asleep, her body taking it's toll on her. It's a few hours later when Grant comes into the room to check on her. The light is off once more, the glass from the window has been cleaned up, she can thank Kebo for that. Daisy is sound asleep but she's restless. Twitching and mumbling into the pillow.
She says Lincoln's name a few times and he wonders what the nature of their relationship is in this world. If they are friends or something more. In Grant's time line Lincoln went after Skye a few times but she rejected him. Skye would tell Grant in later days that she was so in love with him that no one compared, especially not Lincoln. Is that the same here? Is Daisy in love with Ward and just won't admit it? That sounds about right, if it's true.
He's about to turn to leave when the bed shifts and Daisy looks up at him. ''Sorry I didn't mean to wake you''. He tells her. ''You're him, aren't you?'' Grant gives her a confused look, thinking she is seeing Hive instead of him. ''I'm sorry?'' ''Skye's husband. The Grant Ward from her world''. ''Oh. Yes, yes I am''. Daisy flashes him a bitter smile that doesn't reach her eyes one bit. ''She told me you're the love of her life''. Grant gives her a full real smile. ''She's mine too''.
Daisy licks her lips and her strung out face grows sad. ''Look at that, in one universe we got it right''. She meets Grant's eyes and he can tell that she's thinking of old days on the Bus that will never return. He doesn't know what to say to this, she just sits there looking at him with eyes that have seen so many things. ''I was brain washed''. Grant nods and she twists her fingers together on the quilt, a nervous gesture. Her shoulders begin shaking and he takes a step to her. Daisy wipes away a few stray tears and looks up at him with understanding.
''And so were you. We make the perfect pair''. He stops at her words. ''I'm the wrong Grant Ward you should be saying that to''. Daisy's laugh is harsh and full of lost dreams. ''He's dead''. Grant can tell that Daisy is locking down her sorrow and he clenches his jaw. ''You're allowed to be upset over that''. ''No I'm not''. Grant shifts on his feet so he's close to the bed. ''Why not?'' Daisy closes her eyes briefly before settling on his form again.
''Because Daisy Johnson doesn't cry over a traitor, I'm glad he's dead''. Grant of course sees right through the lie. ''No you're not. And what about Skye? The girl Ward knew must miss him''. At the sound her old name Daisy makes a noise and a few tears fall onto her cheek. ''Skye died the day Shield fell''. ''You and I both know that isn't true''. She stays silent, her lips drawn in a thin line. Eventually Grant leaves the room again, keeping the door cracked just in case.
He throws himself on the couch and ignores Kebo who is sprawled out on the floor snoring loudly. Grant takes out his wallet that Coulson finally gave back to him, takes out the picture of him and Skye on their wedding day. And thanks god that she found the good in him, that they ended up together. In love and happy. Because that's all he ever wanted her to be. Him and Ward have that in common. Now he just has to find a way to save his counterpart.
He won't fail Ward twice. Garrett's voice is getting louder and louder in his ear. It's almost unbearable.