What Happened to the Soul That You Used to Be
''Ward didn't deserve to die like that''. This is the first time Skye has left the containment module in three days. She's sitting in one of the conference rooms, at the head of the table. Coulson and the team are spread around the table as well, Daisy is absent. According to Coulson she's been on a mission for quite some time and is expected to return shortly. Skye wonders if they're going to tell her about Ward. If they don't she will.
No one comments on how they disagree with her statement on Ward, even though they all do. This Shield hated everything about Grant Ward, Skye knows they are glad that he's dead and gone. Skye's reaction to his death was not a severe as the first time she watched Grant die years ago. Because a part of her knows that version of Ward was not her husband, Grant is still out there. She knows he will not be thrilled at recent events.
Skye doesn't have much of an appetite, and she misses her children terribly. She doesn't even want to be here anymore, all she wants is her small house tucked into the middle of nowhere, she wants Grant to hold her. To be here right now with her and tell her it's all going to be alright, they they will be home soon. She misses him, his smile, the calming balm he's been to her. Coulson must sense this is a difficult subject for her so he's refrained from asking her about what happened.
Except for now. Now he's called her and the rest of the team into this meeting so they can listen to every single detail. So May, Coulson, Fitz and Simmons can hear how Grant Ward won't be a problem for them anymore, that the traitor they hate more than anyone is gone from the world. It makes Skye sick, half of her wants to keep what happened on Maveth under wraps. Ward didn't deserve to go down like that, protecting her when he didn't have to.
There's a commotion in the door way and Skye looks up to see an agent stumble through. ''Sir Agent Johnson is back. She's asking for you''. Coulson gets up and Skye asks him if he's going to tell her about Ward. ''I'll leave that to you''. Over the past few days she's told Shield what she's doing here, her life back in her world. Grant has also told them everything it seems so she didn't have to speak much, which is a good thing. Grief still weighs heavy in her heart.
Coulson is gone for a long time, and Skye used this to her advantage to observe the team. No one seems saddened by the passing of their former friend, and Skye understands that, sort of. They haven't forgiven him and now they never will. Ward deserved so much better than what he got. He needed someone to understand him, and he died not knowing that Daisy did. That they have always been two sides of the same coin.
The thought is a sad one and Skye doesn't dwell on it. She has to remind herself that in her reality it did happen, Grant got a second chance. That they love each other and he's happy. He's alive, it makes her feel better for the most part. No one speaks, the silent stretches until Coluson is in the room once more. Skye looks up and meets a pair of brown eyes. It's the strangest thing in the world. Skye is staring at herself from across the room.
Observes Daisy Johnson with sharp eyes. Daisy with a name she thought she wanted, the one that would keep her parent's memory alive. With her short hair that she never really liked, and her cold steel walls that May taught her to build. There's an edge to Daisy, a warning for others not to get too close. She's closed off guarded and hard to reach, she's an ice princess just like the Calvary. Skye thinks back to when she was Daisy in her time line, did she always look so mean?
Did she always look so sad? Like she's seen all the horrors of this world and it spit her back out? That she's more machine than she is human these days? Daisy has allowed Shield to turn her into the perfect weapon, just like they did with Ward. This version of Skye is not happy, Skye can tell just by the way Daisy carries herself. She's lost so much in a short amount of time and Skye's heart aches for her counterpart. No one knows loss like they do.
Coulson has briefed Daisy on the situation at hand, he did not tell her about Grant and Skye's relationship. Only that an Inhuman sent Skye from another time line to try and save Ward, he didn't mention that she failed in that. Daisy was confused for the most part but accepted it, and now here she stands. In front of Skye with her long hair and relaxed eyes. It's weird, Daisy thinks Skye looks like she did before Shield found her.
Skye seems less damaged, like she's taken all the bad things in her life and dealt with them. Instead of just shoving them down into the dark parts of herself, hiding and burying them. Daisy wants to ask Skye how she did it, how she managed to scrape a life together outside of Shield. But she doesn't, just takes a seat beside Fitz who won't look at her. ''You look sad''. Skye tells Daisy, it's weird hearing her own voice in a different light.
''I could say the same about you''. Daisy can see depsite all the good in Skye's skin that there's grief, fresh and open. What happened? There's a trick of the light and something silver glitters off Skye's left hand. Daisy gapes at it, her mouth hanging open slightly. A wedding ring. Somewhere out in the universe Skye found someone to love her, despite all the baggage. Who? Lincoln? Someone else?
Skye follows Daisy's gaze and smirks. ''I'm sure you're wondering what I'm doing here''. ''Coulson said you were trying to save Ward. Why? Why in the hell would you want to help him?'' Daisy's tone is hostile, controlled. It takes every ounce of training Skye has not to break. Daisy doesn't understand, in this world she's still hurt by what Ward did. ''You can lie to everyone here and they probably believe you Daisy, but you can't lie to me''.
Lincoln decides to join the conversation, having been standing beside Daisy when Coulson told her what was going on. He walks into the room and freezes on his way to sit beside Daisy. He has never seen her with long hair like this. She seems different than the woman he's used to, Skye is far less prickly than Daisy. Like she's taken all her ghosts and dominated them instead of letting them eat her alive.
''I don't know what you're talking about''. Daisy tells Skye, who watches with hawk eyes as Lincoln moves to sit next to Daisy. ''Everyone here may believe that you hate Grant Ward with everything in you. But I am you Daisy, I know that's not the case''. Daisy tries to hide her shock, but fails. Ignores the pointed glare May directs her way, the expression on Lincoln's face. ''Grant Ward is a traitor and a liar''. Skye rolls her eyes at May, ''so are you''.
The room is silent once more, all eyes are between Skye and Daisy. ''You and Ward aren't that different''. Both Skye and Daisy remember a similiar conversation with Ward so long ago, ''You and I aren't that different''. Daisy closes her eyes for a brief moment. ''If I was dragged into this just so I can hear you talk about Ward, I'm leaving. I have nothing to contribute to this''. ''He's dead''. Skye says, not blinking as she takes in Daisy's reaction. Her face falls like the breath has been ripped out of her.
Dead. Daisy hears the words but doesn't feel them. Doesn't accept them. Her face has turned from sad to neutral though the shaking of her hands does not go unnoticed by Skye. Skye is looking at Daisy with understanding, matching grief for half a moment. Shield won't expect Daisy to mourn Ward, so she doesn't. And Skye watches as Daisy brushes the news off like it does not matter. But it does it does it does she knows it does.
''Good''. Daisy is lying through her teeth and Skye knows it. ''Good?'' Skye echoes and Daisy won't meet her eyes. ''He deserved to die''. Skye's laugh is harsh and she clenches her fists. ''You don't deserve him. Do you have any idea how much he loved you?'' May and Daisy share a look that has Skye reeling. ''He never loved me''. ''Yes he did''. Daisy raises a single eyebrow at Skye, ''and when did we jump aboard the Grant Ward fan club?''
''He died saving me''. Skye says, her voice low. Watches everyone absorb the information. May and Simmons have no reaction, neither does Lincoln. But Fitz, Daisy and Coulson don't seem surprised. Maybe Daisy just a smidge, she has a little depth into how deep Ward's feelings went for her. But love? Daisy isn't sure Ward knew how to love anyone. Not that he wasn't capable because after all she did say he felt too much, just that he didn't know how.
''We were going to get off that planet, he had a plan. And then that Hydra creature showed up, I don't know why it didn't try to kill me too''. Skye attempts to blink back tears but it doesn't work. She looks down at the dark oak table and blinks quickly, her vision swimming and warm. God she wishes Grant were here. Coulson told her earlier that he left not too long before she'd arrived, had plans for Hyda to try and make Ward see sense. Clearly that didn't work.
Daisy just stares at Skye with her big eyes and the room turns silent again. Coulson decides that everyone should leave the room because Skye looks like she's either about to break down or physically break something. ''We'll leave you to talk''. Daisy raises her head to look at her boss, ''about what? There's more than just Ward rotting away on Maveth?'' Skye winces but no one notices. Lincoln is the only one who lingers, and Daisy wraps her fingers with his and nods.
Honestly Skye just doesn't have it in her to hide her expression when Lincoln finally leaves the room and Daisy looks back at her. ''What?'' In Skye's time line her and Lincoln did not even make it, whatever small relationship they tried to start crashed and burned so fast it was laughable. She was so in love with Grant and Lincoln knew that, and once Grant came back into her life Lincoln stood no chance. Skye hasn't seen him since her mother died years ago.
''You and Lincoln''. Daisy just nods. ''Do you have a problem with that?'' Skye sits back down, rubs her hands over her face. Daisy sees that wedding ring again, Skye follows her gaze. ''I wake up every morning next to my beautiful husband who loves me more than his own life. We have two children that I love more than anyone in the world''. Skye gets a smile on her face that Daisy is sure can only be described as a mother's smile. ''And they adore their father and he them, we've never had a home Daisy, but in my world we finally do''.
''Shield is my home''. Skye gives her a sad smile, ''now we both know that isn't true. Shield hasn't been your home since Ward left''. This angers Daisy, her hands clench tightly against the table. ''Ward ruined everything, he desroyed the first family I'd ever had. We're still picking up the pieces of the mess he made''. ''He didn't destroy Shield alone Daisy, he wasn't the head of Hydra. He was just trying to save Garrett''. Daisy knows this, didn't she tell Coulson she finally understood Ward? It doesn't mean she forgives him, and it doesn't matter now.
Daisy starts processing the information she's been given. In another life she has everything she's ever wanted, a home, a family. Happiness. When was the last time Daisy was happy? When her smile was genuine and true like Skye's is? She has children for god sake, and Daisy finds herself becoming jealous. Starts to imagine what they look like, their names. If they look more like her or their father. Which has Daisy wondering exactly who the father is.
''Who did Ward turn out to be in your world? Who did he become?'' Skye gets this look in her eyes and Daisy starts putting the pieces together. Skye being so defensive of him from the start, how she was trying to dig up all those old feelings Daisy had buried. ''My husband''. ''What?'' That's the only response she can form at the moment, shock doesn't seem like a strong enough word. Daisy is baffled. Beneath all of it though, a small part of her is at ease with it.
It's okay. If Daisy was a different person that's who she'd want to end up with. ''You don't have to lie, I'm you. I know how you feel on the subject of Grant Ward, I know that he hurt you once. He hurt you in a way no one had because you opened yourself up to him, you trusted him and he betrayed you. So you covered the pain up with training, becoming the perfect agent for Coulson. But it didn't make it better, in fact you're starting to turn to stone''.
Daisy just stares at Skye, speechless. Skye takes that as her cue to continue. ''But you and I know the reason it hurt so much. Because it was real, because you loved him so much''. Daisy starts to tremble, but that's the only reaction Skye gets. She presses on, for some reason she needs to know that she's not wrong. That in this world Daisy loves him too, that she didn't lie to Ward while he was dying. ''He loved you Daisy, he would have given it all up for you''.
''But he didn't. Maybe in your universe he did. But not here, here he hurt everyone I care about. In my world he became the head of Hydra and tried to kill members of my team, I'm glad he's dead. Ward is no longer a threat''. Skye crosses her arms, leans back against her chair. ''Wow great respnse. Did you come up with that all on your own or did May help you? Or maybe it was Coulson, that sounds like something he'd have you say. We both know you are far from happy''.
Daisy shrugs, ''I have Lincoln''. ''He isn't Ward''. ''Guess it doesn't matter now. Ward and I will be nothing more than unfinished business''. The two women sit in the quiet, counting the ceiling tiles. ''You know he's different in my dimension. Grant actually got the help he needed and because of it he isn't so bitter anymore. And Shield took the time to understand him, I took a chance on him and it's the best thing I've ever done. I wish the same could have happened for you too''. Daisy looks like she wants to say ''me too'', but never does.
The room absorbs their lack of conversation for ten minutes until Daisy shifts in her seat. ''So what are you going to do now? You said your mission was to save Ward, are you going to go back home?'' Skye shakes her head, plays with the ring on her finger. ''I have to find Grant. He's the reason I'm here in the first place really''. Skye then goes deeper into the details of how she ended up here, and Daisy is surprised to find that Grant was actually here and she didn't know.
''Did you really expect Coulson to tell you?'' ''No, guess not. I just still can't believe it, you're married to Grant Ward''. Skye gives her what must be a private smile, so full of love. Daisy can't ever recall smiling about anyone like that before. Envy is in her chest so fast it takes her back. ''He's the love of my life''. Daisy looks down and can't take it. One single tear flows onto her cheek and she's quick to wipe it away. Skye thinks she hears Daisy mumble that Ward is the love of her life too, but can't be sure. She might have heard her wrong.
Coulson comes back a few minutes later and Skye asks him when they're expecting Grant to be back. ''I honestly don't know, he's off the grid''. ''Of course he is. Was anyone else with him or was he alone?'' ''Just some annoying guy in a leather jacket that wouldn't shut the hell up''. Skye smiles fondly, Kebo is still with him. Skye shrugs on her own leather jacket and stands. ''I'm going to find him''. ''Do you need back up?'' Coulson asks her as him and Daisy trail after her. ''Nope, I've got it''. ''How will you get home?'' Skye pauses at the concern in Phil's voice.
''The Inhuman that sent me here said he'll know when I'm ready''. The team wishes Skye luck as she leaves the Playground. Skye turns just as she's walking out the door and meets Daisy's eye. It's a look of grief, of understanding. It's 'I hope you find him', 'I'm glad you're happy' and ''One day you'll be happy too'. And then she's gone. Leaving a sea of confusion in her wake. Daisy has no idea what's waiting for her, that she will need Skye in the end of all things.
Daisy waits until she's in the security of her own bunk, when the cover of darkness in her ally. Ward is dead. She'll never again see his face, hear his laugh or that stupid cocky smirk he perfected. A part of her is indeed releived, not for her but for him. He isn't suffering anymore, no longer in pain from the damage of his cruel life. But a bigger part of her is crushed, he was once someone so important to her. He literally kept her alive on more than one occcasion.
And he never hurt her, no once. He had several opportunities to do so and never did. Ward did so many horrible things and there's probably a lot she doesn't want or need to know about. But he did reunite her with her parents in a way, he had good intentions when he stole her away to Puerto Rico and she got her powers. And the last time they spoke, god she'd been so cruel to him. So angry for everything he'd done, but she was no better.
She too turned her back on Shield and they didn't even bat an eyelash at it. Hell she was welcomed back with open arms and it was never brought up again. But when Ward does it because he was trying to save the only parental figure he's ever had, he's nearly beaten to death, thrown into prison by the same people he'd served for a decade. Where's the jutice in that? Why did she get a second chance for doing the exact same thing?
Regret stabs her in the chest. Ward died not knowing she understood him, that despite it all she still cared. He died thinking she hated him, and that's so far from the truth. Here in her room where it's safe she can admit it now. She doesn't hate him at all, and his death doesn't sit well with her. ''Hey, everything okay?'' Lincoln asks her as he crawls into her bed and puts a hand on her arm. ''Yeah I'm good''. He believes the lie so easily.
Skye was right about everything, she loves Ward. And somewhere out there they ended up together, like it was supposed to be. Like it should have been. But Daisy hasn't really ever gotten what she's wanted out of life and doesn't expect it to start any time soon. But one thought lingers in the back of her mind until she drifts off. If she had been here when Skye's Grant was here, what would she have done?
Would she see the person Ward could have become? Would they have exchanged words? Or would she just pretend he wasn't there? Pretend that it was a bad dream she'd wake up from. Or would she have seen him in a completely different light? And another scarier thought comes to her, one she brushes quickly under the rug. Would she have loved him too?
*
''I still think it's funny as hell that you got punched in the face by yourself. I mean how many people can say that?'' ''That happened almost three weeks ago Kebo''. Grant says from the bathroom where he's finishing up shaving. Over the past weeks him and Kebo have successfully dimished Hydra's numbers. Which is something Grant has always wanted to do, that's why he became Director all those years ago. And he would of done it perfectly had he not become Inhuman.
''Doesn't matter, I can't wait until we get back so I can tell Quake''. Grant winces at the mention of his wife, he misses her so much. He keeps having nightmares about her or the kids, needless to say he hasn't been sleeping very well. Currently he and Kebo are lying low in a safe house, taking a break for the evening. ''How are we going to get back anyway? Crazy pants didn't mention that''. ''I have a plan''. Kebo opens a bottle of whiskey and sits on a bed.
''Care to share?'' Grant wipes the shaving cream off his face and takes a sip from the bottle when he walks back in the room. ''Think about it, we're in another dimension which means if Marcus is in ours, he has to be in this one too. I've been looking for him but nothing's come up yet''. ''Good idea boss''. ''I have those on occasion''. They drink in silence, Grant's thoughts consumed by Ellie Rose and Cal. He misses going to sleep with Skye and waking up to them in the morning. He hasn't been away from them this long before.
It's killing him. ''So your other half hasn't made an appearance yet, he has to know that his agents aren't exactly vanishing on their own''. Grant has found that strange, but there's no word in Hydra that anything has changed. As far as he's aware Ward is still the Director. The burner phone he acquired rings a few hours later when him and Kebo are fast asleep. ''What?'' Coulson is the only one who has this number, it better be important.
''We have a problem''. Grant is already out of bed and turning on the light. Kebo groans at the brightness of the room and is threatening to shoot Grant if he doesn't go back to sleep. ''What's wrong?'' ''It's Daisy''. Coulson sounds worried, but there's something hidden in his tone that has Grant suspicious. Kebo is up at this point and is sending a questioning look at him. ''What happened? Is she okay?'' ''It's bad Grant, just get here as soon as you can''.
''Is she okay?'' Grant demands, anxiety bleeding into his voice. ''She's not dead''. Is all Coulson offers before he hangs up, and Ward starts packing up the room. He knows that his Skye is safe back home, but the version of her here isn't and Grant can't help but worry. Marcus said she was in danger so he's been keeping tabs on her, but no recent news has been accounted for except that she returned to the Playground a couple of weeks ago.
''Boss what's wrong?'' ''Daisy is danger, we need to get to the Playground now''. Kebo sighs but doesn't move from his perch on the bed. Which causes Ward to ask him why the hell is he not moving. ''Robot she's not your wife. In this world she hates you, she'd probably shoot you again, why risk your life for someone who couldn't care if you lived or died?'' He has a point, but Grant doesn't even have to think about the answer he gives.
''Because it's Skye, no matter what world I'm in I will save her. I won't let her be hurt, not if I can help it''. Kebo rolls his eyes before giving Grant one of his dramatic sighs. Which is where Ellie Rose learned it from and they both know it. ''If you die do you realize what Quake is going to do to me?'' ''I have no intention of dying here Kebo. We're going to save Daisy and then attempt to the same again with Ward, I'm not giving up on either of them''.
Kebo straps a bag to his shoulder and follows Grant out the door and into the car. ''Can I insert a comment?'' Grant looks at his friend, ''since when do you ask?'' Kebo rolls the window up and down as they take off for something to do. ''Daisy doesn't deserve your help. I remember how she used to be and if memory serves she won't want it. I'd just be prepared for the worst boss''. ''Will do''. ''And if it comes down to your life or her's, I won't hesistate to take her out''.
Grant has nothing to say to that. Only that he hopes nothing of the sort happens, because he knows Kebo was not joking. And Grant doesn't think he could sit back and let that happen, the thought of any version of Skye dying does not strike well with him. He would die before that ever happened.