Lost connections
Unbuckling Tatum from her car seat you took her hand, walking thorugh the parking lot. Keeping your eyes on the moving cars you crossed the road in front of the mall before heading inside. Heading through the food court and up the main hallway, you pass store after store, trying to spot the shoe store.
“Where are we going Mommy?” Tatum asked you while you two waited for the elevator.
“We have to get you some new shoes, because you are growing out of your pretty pink ones.” AS the elevator doors open you let a rush of people step out before you and Tatum step in along with a few others. Looking out of the window to see the rush of people below you your eyes lock on a guy with shoulder length jet black hair and a slender figure. Dressed in black skinny jeans and a forest green shirt, it felt like your heart stopped. The guy looked exactly like Loki from behind but maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. Plus you weren’t about to ruin the day by running into him with Tatum. It would have been bad enough alone but with her would be two thousand times worse. Clearing your mind of him you stepped out of the elevator, still holding Tatum’s hand you made your way to the shoe store. Walking into the stores you saw rows and rows of shoes, heading down the children’s side. Stopping at size three and four you kneeled down to Tatum’s level, letting go of her hand.
“Pick one.” Tatum went up to a bright yellow pair with sunflowers accenting the top of the shoe and smiled at you. Taking them from the shelf you pointed at the small seat and unclasped her pink ones she was wearing today. Slipping them onto her feet you held her hands, as she stood up.
“Walk a little bit, sweetie.” Tatum took a few steps around you and her face looked painful.
“No?” You moved the shoe box while Tatum came back over to you. Sitting back down in the chair you took of the yellow ones and set the back onto the shelf. Grabbing a blue pair with multicolored painted fish over them from the shelf you held them up to her.
“Wanna try these?” Tatum nodded her head and you strapped those onto her feet. Setting the box down next to her pink ones she wore in, Tatum stood back up and walked around again. Keeping her eyes on her feet you smiled while she stomped around. She had no idea what she was doing but it was cute. Tatum’s eyes locked on a plain purple pair of shoes and she pulled on the box.
“Can I try these?”
“Mhm.” Grabbing the pair in front of her Tatum rushed into the chair excitedly and you took of the blue shoes. Keeping those off the shelf, you helped Tatum with the purple shoes and she kicked them around like she did with the other two pairs.
“You like those?” Tatum nodded her head and you tapped the seat. Taking off the shoes and switching them with her pink ones you picked up the two pairs of shoes. Taking Tatum’s hand you walked with her up to the counter. The clerk ringing them up and bagged them for you.
“56.80.” You took out your debit card and handed it to the clerk, having her swipe the card in the machine she handed it back to you. Slipping it back into you small wallet you grabbed the bag and walked out of the store with Tatum. Hearing your phone chime from your back pocket you stopped walking, taking it out. Unlocking the screen you see a text from your best friend and click the message.
Come by Build-a-bear today for 50% off your first bear. Your best friend worked at Build a bear and she kept telling you Tatum would love to build one. She would even help her to personally design one. Sticking your phone back into your pocket you decided to take Tatum to build a bear. After going to the car and putting her shoes in the trunk, just so you wouldn't have to carry them.
“Tatum, do you want to go to Build-A-Bear?”
“Bear! Bear!” You smiled and walked with her to the shop. Going past the bright yellow bear soldiers outside you saw a rush of children, picking out clothes and animals. Seeing your friend behind the counter, talking to a mom you threw up your hand and she nodded her head back at you. Going over to the empty animals you picked Tatum up on your hip so she could get a better look.
“Hi there, Welcome to Build-A-Bear. Where you can make your own friend.” A clerk walked up to you, and smiled widely at Tatum.
“Tatum, do you know what kind of animal you want?” Tatum pointed at a white bear with rainbow hearts over it. Taking her off of your hip you pulled down the empty bear lining and handed it to the clerk.
“Okay, lets go give this bear some life.” The clerk held out her hand to Tatum and she gripped your own tighter.
“I got her.” The clerk nodded to you and you followed her over to the stuffing machine where she strapped the empty bear onto the end. Grabbing the blue handle on the machine the clerk motioned for Tatum to help her. Tatum let go of your hand and stood beside the clerk. Pushing down on the wheel a yellow spiral inside began to move, pushing stuffing into the bear. Taking out your phone you snapped a few pictures of Tatum pushing on the handle.
“Alright, one more turn and they are done.” The clerk helped Tatum turn the handle before stopping it and grabbing the bear off of the end.
“Now while I go and finish your bear you can pick out an outfit and then pick out a heart and do the three magic steps on the wall over there.” The clerk fixed some stuffing in the bear and she directed you to the clothes.
“Tatum, do you want it to be a girl or a boy bear?”
“Girl, like me.” You nodded, understanding her, you went with her over to the dresses. PIcking her up on your hip again and picked up a little pink ballerina. Tatum instantly shaking her head you put it down.
“Well choose one baby.”
“That one.” Tatum pointed at a navy blue dress with white stars all over it, paired with a white jean jacket and a white belt. You picked it up off of the rack and tucked it across your arm. Looking around a bit you see three trays of stain hearts, next to a poster with the magic steps on them. Taking Tatum over to the trays you set her down and she grabbed a blue heart out of the tub. You kneeled down in front of her and brushed her black hair from her face.
“Here is your bear. Have you done your magic so they can come to life?”
“We were just about to.”
“Oh great. I’ll help you put some magic into it myself.” The clerk handed you the bear and she kneeled down in front of Tatum.
“Okay, cup the heart in your hands.” Tatum cupped the little blue heart and smiled.
“Next, you need to rub it against your heart so it will love you forever.” Tatum took the blue heart and rubbed it in a circle over her heart. You snapped a photo of her and glanced around a bit.
“Now, squeeze it tight, close your eyes and make a wish.” You watch Tatum’s movements, and decided to take out your phone and started a video.
“Bye Darling, Stay safe.” Hearing a familiar dark yet soft velvety voice you turn to see Loki standing at the counter. You felt your breath stop when he locked eyes with you, your heart felt like a hummingbird and your mind blocked out all the noise. Time felt still, He looked the same since he left you. Same long black hair, wearing clothes that you even bought him, yourself. You felt as if you were stuck in the motion forever.
“Mommy! Mommy!” You blinked rapidly and kneeled down to Tatum, smiling while pretending to listen to what she was saying, but still your eyes watched Loki as his eyes darted to Tatum. You saw his face drop to pure sadness and he dashed out of the store. You felt your hand start to shake and you stopped recording the video you started.
“And now you just spin around three times.” Tatum spun around while you handed the bear to the clerk, and Tatum stuck the heart into it’s chest.
“Have the clothes?” You handed the clerk the dress from your hands and she smiled.
“Let’s go make her your own.” You and Tatum followed the clerk over to a station where there were sheets of paper and a small sewing machine.
“Have a name for this cutie yet?”
“Mhm. Bucksie.” You rolled your eyes and kneeled down at her level again.
“Sweetie, Won’t you get confused because of Bucky next door?” Tatum shook her head, making her hair shake.
“No, this is Bucksie. Not Bucky, Mommy.”
“Alright…Bucksie it is.” The clerk finished sewing up the bear’s chest and handed her back to Tatum. Typing out the name on a computer, she asked for Tatum’s name before printing it out. Handing it to you she shook Tatum’s hand before you went up to the counter a paid for the bear. Heading home, Tatum hugged the bear all the way home and even when she went into the apartment. Sitting down on her little play mat she started introducing Bucksie to her other toys.
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Later that night after you had tucked Tatum into bed with her new bear, You had made home on the couch and had been nursing a pint of ice cream. Watching an old movie of Chiller you ate another spoon of ice cream before jumping at the action on screen. Hearing a scream echoing in your head, you realized that it wasn’t just in your head and it was coming from across the hall. Pausing the movie, you sat the pint on the coffee table and opened your door into the hallway to hear the screams louder. It sounded like Bucky screaming and you were worried, having not seen him since the date. You knocked on his door and there was no answer so you tried the knob. It wasn’t normal for you to invade into other’s privacy, but the screams were getting worse.
“No! Don’t hurt her!” Bucky’s voice echoed in your ears, and you quietly made your way towards the screaming. Seeing Bucky tossing and twisting in bed you were scared. You had never seen someone act like this. Loki had nightmares, which you were guessing what these were. But his made the sheets get icy and his skin turned blue. You could always snap him out of it, but snuggling him until he woke up. But Bucky didn’t have powers like him, Just a dangerous metal arm and killer assassin moves.
“{Y/N}! Get away from her!” You went around the corner into his bedroom and gently climbed onto his bed. Bucky had his pillow clenched tightly in his hands while his blanket was twisted around his waist. Curling up next to him, you grabbing his hands and tucked your nose into his neck.
“Bucky, It’s okay. I’m here. Wake up.” You whispered into his ear, and he turned over to face you, his eyes were still clenched shut.
“Bucky, Wake up.” Moving his hair away from his eyes he jerked up and grabbed your wrist tightly.
“{Y/N}” Bucky loosened his grip on your wrist and his arms snaked around you lovingly.
“Are you okay? I heard you screaming from my apartment. Bucky’s nose tucked into your neck and you brushed his hair back. Your felt his body shaking against you and you sat up facing him.
“Do you want to go back to my apartment? Try and sleep while I’m there.” Bucky nodded his head and you took his hand into your own. Pulling him out of his own bed you led him across the hall into your apartment. Shutting the door behind Bucky you pointed to the couch and went into the kitchen. You opened the fridge, grabbing two bottles of water before sitting down in your same place on the couch. Grabbing the small blanket you had around your legs you pulled Bucky’s arm a little and he moved up against you. Wrapping his arm around your waist his head rested on your upper arm.
“It was a nightmare? Wasn’t it...Loki had those all the time.”
“They were hurting you and Tatum...and I couldn’t do anything about it….I tried.” You felt one of his tears run down your arm and you kissed the top of his head.
“I don’t mean to scare you, because I am thinking about you being with me all the time...But I can’t control them.”
“Bucky, you don’t have to apologize, It’s perfectly fine.” You scratched the side of your head and yawned a little. Staying quiet you heard Tatum quietly talking in her room and moved out from under Bucky, heading to her room. Getting her out of her bed you grabbed her bear and headed back to the living room. Tatum gripped onto her bear and you sat back down next to Bucky, cuddling her into your chest.
“Shhh, go back to sleep.”
“Bucksie wanted to talk.” Tatum said sleepily before adjusting herself in your lap.
“Bucksie?”
“We went to Build-A-Bear today and she named her Bucksie...I guess after you? I don’t know.” Tatum opened her eyes a little and moved over to sit on Bucky’s lap.
“Tatum…” Reaching for her Bucky motioned you away and he made himself comfortable so Tatum could sleep.
“What were you watching?”
“Just some movie. I can stop it, if you want.” Bucky took the remote and pressed play letting it play the movie. You got up quietly and put the ice cream in the freezer and sat back down. Scooting right next to Bucky you smiled while laying against him.
“You want to talk anymore about it?”
“You don’t want to hear it.” Bucky spoke softly, trying to let Tatum rest peacefully, sweeping some of her hair away from her face he smiled gently at her.
“Yes I do. Tell me.”
“Okay, I was back in the brainwashing room they had in HYDRA and You were strapped to a chair with cuts and bruises all over you while Tatum wasn’t there. BUt they had a gun to your head and kept hitting you over and over. Telling me to give them information and then they would let you go.” You sat up a little and pressed a loving kiss on Bucky’s lips.
“Do you have these a lot?”
“Only when I have a bad mission or I overthink things.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, Bucky.” Bucky didn’t reply and you just stayed silent. Hearing Tatum’s quiet snoring, you pulled the blanket over your legs and moved it over Bucky’s lap as well to cover Tatum. A few moments later you felt your eyes getting heavy and Bucky wrapped his arm around you tightly, holding you against him. Sinking into his body his scent flooded your nostrils and it reminded you of summer. Honey and Pear, You closed your eyes fully and slowly went to sleep, not feeling any worry about Bucky. You felt safe and loved.