Preparations
The next morning, Saturday, you and Chris went ring shopping. And found the perfect set; titanium flat bands with engraved electrocardiogram lines having three beat spikes with the center one being a heart. You had told Chris that he could return the engagement ring and that you would wear your promise ring until the wedding; you loved it so much. You then met with Pepper for lunch to talk over what you both wanted for the wedding.
Once you all ordered, Pepper opened a notebook she brought to take notes and make sketches.
"Where's Tony?", you asked.
"Are you kidding me? He'd just be one big distraction.", she chortled as you and Chris chuckled. "Ooookay... So. What's our budget?"
Chris spoke without missing a beat while you took a sip of your water, "Twenty thousand."
You choked on your water and started having a coughing fit. You didn't know how much a wedding usually cost, but that sounded like a really big number.
Pepper looked surprised, "Oh!" She quickly handed you a napkin.
Chris's eyebrows shot up, he leaned forward and dipped his head, then rubbed your back, "You okay, baby?"
You nodded, still coughing. You wiped your mouth, setting down your glass.
"Put your arms up, above your head and sit up straight, love.", he ordered.
You did as he said and as your coughing started to settle you spoke, "I had no idea you had that much money." You coughed once more.
He chortled, "Yeah, well, I work hard and don't need a lot to be happy. Just you and our little bean." He carressed your belly softly and kissed your cheek. You blinked slowly at him.
Pepper grinned, "That's so sweet." She picked up her pen again, "Okay, ballpark how many guests?"
You looked to Chris, his arm around you now. He smiled and you spoke to him, "It's not gonna be many for me. Our shared friends and only handful of family, maybe five from my family."
He nodded and told Pepper, "Let's do one hundred people." He glanced at you expectantly.
"Yeah, that sounds good.", you nodded at him and then Pepper.
Pepper smiled scribbled in her notebook and asked her next question, "Simple or extravagant?"
Chris chuckled and smirked at you, "That's all you, sweetheart. In fact, just tell her what you want and I'll give input if I have any different ideas." He kissed your forehead as you smiled.
"Okay,", you started hesitantly, then turned to Chris, "Babe, I don't wanna spend all that money."
He closed his eyes for a beat and shook his head, "Don't worry, honey. Just tell Pep what you want. I want you to have what you want."
"Thank you.", you beamed at him, then addressed Pepper again, "Mostly simple... Maybe three quarters simple and a little extravagant."
"Great.", she scribbled again. "Okay, now lay it all on me. What's your vision?"
You looked to Chris again smiling, you were getting a little excited. He winked at you.
"Rustic themed, sunflowers and small wild flowers of all colors, wood, lots of soft, billowy white fabric. I'd like everything to be soft, airy and natural.", you rattled off.
"You have main colors in mind?", she was still jotting your last details down.
"I'd like yellow... But, I want any colors to be accents, not the focus. I think white should be the main color."
"Okay." She looked up from her paper. "So, you want the majority white, yellow as a first accent color and any other colors, probably from mostly the wildflowers, to be a secondary accent?"
"Yes. Perfect.", you grinned.
"Okay." She scribbled again. "Wedding party; how many?"
You said to Chris, "I'm okay with just maid of honor and best man." You shrugged, pulling down the corners of your mouth.
His brows furrowed and tucked in his bottom lip. He then nodded, "Yeah, that's fine, hon."
You tilted your head, "Chris? What's wrong?"
He shook his head, "Just- I hadn't even thought about that yet and the only one I would've asked to be my best man isn't around anymore." He pressed his lips together.
Your brows furrowed in sadness, "I'm sorry, honey." You rubbed his back, while Pepper frowned.
He hitched up one side of his mouth. "I'll ask Sam. Just him and Nat will be fine." He managed a small smile. "If you hadn't asked already, I probably would've asked Nat to be my best man. She's the one who really helped bring us together.", he chuckled.
You smiled at him slightly, still feeling a bit sad about what he had said.
He shook his head quickly, "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to ruin something that's supposed to be happy. Let's get back to it."
"Honey,", you started, "You don't ever have to be sorry about telling me how you feel." You took his hand on the table, interlacing your fingers with his, turning your body towards him more, hooking your other hand over his bicep.
Pepper thought the two of you could use a little privacy, so she excused herself, "I'm gonna use the restroom." She flashed you a smile, which you returned as she got up to leave.
His face was a bit pained, "I just don't want to upset you, (Y/N). This is supposed to be a joyful time for us..."
You started to tear up a little. His guilt over being himself with you, being open with you... that's what upset you. You sighed heavily.
His face twisted slightly as he put his forehead to yours, his hand covering yours on his bicep as he whispered, "Don't. Please don't cry, baby."
He pulled back enough to look into your eyes as you started to speak quietly, "You not telling me how you feel and letting me help you through it; that's what would upset me. Sure, either of us missing Seb will always be sad. But you not being open to me with everything... that would be heartbreaking. I'm here for you, Chris. Just like you've been there for me so much throughout our entire friendship, especially when Seb passed... and now. Please don't be afraid to let me help you too."
His brows pulled up in the center as a tear rolled down your cheek. He sighed at the sight, "Baby..."
It occured to you that he might also fear that he would appear weak to you if he couldn't deal with his feelings on his own. You knew he wanted to be strong for you, to be your protector and champion... your hero. You continued, "You will not be less in my eyes for it, honey. You're my hero, remember? That's never gonna change."
That got a loving smile from him.
You mirrored his expression, "I'm gonna be your wife. Don't hide from me, please. That would upset me."
He sighed heavily, cupping your jaw and wiping the tear trail from your cheek with his thumb, "Oh, sweetheart... How did I get so lucky to have you?" He kissed your lips softly.
"You didn't... you worked fucking hard to get me.", you both chuckled.
"That I did.", he smiled.
You both started talking about the ideas you had shared and Pepper returned a moment later.
You all finished eating and talking. Before you parted ways, you had talked out eveything else and handed the wedding planning over to her completely. She asked you to call her with a guest list and addresses as soon as possible to send out invitations and to contact her if you had any additional details, changes or questions.
Since she was your planner and friend you had also invited her to go dress shopping. She mentioned, without giving details in front of Chris, that there are ways to shop for a dress early without being worried about it still fitting your belly on the wedding day. She also recommended pushing the wedding to three months from then instead of two, to give her ample time to plan. You would be five months pregnant then. You and Chris agreed to her suggestion.
Four weeks later, you were 13 weeks along and starting to show; the cutest little bump poking out. Chris continued to talk to the baby, loving on your belly and fawning over you as much as he could. He always remembered to give the little one a pep talk each morning to have a great day.
One morning, about an hour before you had to get up for work, you got up to pee, sliding out from under Chris's arm. You padded into the bathroom in the dark, did your business and headed back to the bed.
You had just reached the foot of the bed when a strong wave of nausea hit you, your mouth watering quickly as you ran back to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet to kneel, before hurling with a groan.
Your running footsteps had startled Chris awake. Within only a second or two, he noticed you weren't in the bed and heard your distressed noise. Disoriented by the fog of sleep, he didn't put together what might be happening yet. In a panic, he jumped out of the bed, dashing out of the room, hearing another groan from you.
"(Y/N)?!", he called out, then realizing where you were as you coughed, spitting into the toilet.
"In the bathroom.", you whimpered out, spitting again as he switched on the light.
He crouched next to you, "Aw, baby." He rubbed your back gently and brushed stray hairs that had escaped your ponytail off your sweaty temple with his fingertips as you panted. "Are you okay?"
You nodded, speaking weakly, "Yeah."
"I'll get you some water to rinse." He stood and turned to go fill the cup at the bathroom sink. He only took one step before you hurled again. He rushed back to your side, bent over you, gripping your shoulders gently as you clutched the seat and heaved once more, ridding your stomach of the last of its contents.
"Jesus, baby.", he said sympathetically.
You let out another small whimper, tears in your eyes from the straining. "I fucking hate throwing up." You spit again and shuddered.
He waited a long moment before asking, "You got anymore?"
You shook your head, "No."
He went to the sink and brought you the cup of water. You swished the water in your mouth, gargled and spit it in the toilet. You handed him the cup, "Thank you, honey."
He set it on the toilet tank as you flushed and started to stand, him helping you, his hands staying on your arms. You took some toilet paper off the roll and wiped your mouth and tossed it in waste basket nearby, shivering. You had been sweating and now the moisture was cooling you more than was comfortable.
Seeing your shiver, he grabbed a wash cloth from the stack of them on the shelf over the toilet and started wiping the sweat from your neck and temple, one hand still on your arm.
You took the cloth from his hand gently and continued wiping, "Thank you, love."
He pulled you against him, stroking your arm, "You okay now, little mama?"
You swallowed thickly, the burning still present in your throat. "Yeah.", you croaked out, resting your head against his chest, his warmth quickly chasing the cold from your body.
He kissed your head, "I thought you were past the morning sickness stage.", he cooed.
"I guess not.", you chuckled weakly. "I'll call my OB today and ask."
"You wanna call in sick to work?"
"Chris, the world isn't going stop turning because I'm pregnant.", you chortled.
"You know, you don't have to work. My secret's out; I'm loaded.", he laughed softly.
You huffed out a chuckle, "Maybe after the baby's born."