Don't tell me... [that you love me]

Choose your love, love your choice*.

"Tony, what happened to you?! Was it Barnes?! Ima kill that bastard!" someone's low growl brought him back to reality. He turned his look from a hot cup of coffee to a person standing in front of him. Rhodey.

"Hey, Honeybear," Tony replied with hoarse voice, then sighed resigned. "I had a little fight..." with Steve, he wanted to say but no words left his mouth. He must now look like the victim of some disaster. Black eye, cut eyebrow, slit lower lip, bruises after strangling on the neck, on the top of this - his ribs painfully hurt. What's funny, he couldn't even complain. He deserved it. It was all his fault. Rather than explain all this to Winter, he let himself get carried away. And then, as if nothing happened, he went to meet Steve. He just forgot that fruit of his mistake was left on the neck, and was very visible. A quarrel began, harsh words spitted out loud. They hurt, but... Steve was right, no? He was right...

***

"Is that a hickey?" the genius panicked when he heard this question. Immediately he covered his neck with both hands.

"It's not what you think," he muttered in a hurry trying to explain himself somehow.

"I brought you here to help him, not use him for... where is your fucking honor, Stark? A moral backbone?" the blonde hissed, he was furious.

"You don't understand. Listen..." the shorter man began, but the words dissapeared somewhere in the air, when his face met Steve's fist. He fell silent. The world spun. The genius stumbled, almost dropping to the floor. The blow was strong, it dazed him. He gripped the back of the sofa, but second later he was pushed onto it. The blonde hand tightened on his throat. It brought tears to his eyes, he lost his breath and began to tremble. He was scared. Steve was insane. He clutched the wrist of the latter, pleading in mind that all of this was just a bad dream. He will wake up soon. He felt a fist around the ribs. Once, twice, three times... he sobbed helplessly. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. Steve, why...? When he was close to losing consciousness, the man let go of him and stepped away in disgust. Tony greedily inhaled the air, coughing quietly, tears running down his cheeks.

"We all know how your life looks. How you treat others. You can only love yourself, you're selfish and arrogant. You're not worth him, you'll never be worth anyone. Stop using his weakness against him! You dissapointed me, you're like a walking destruction! You can only destroy! HOW MANY LIVES YOU MUST RUIN TO FEEL BETTER?! HOW MANY YOU MUST HURT?!" Steve yelled, trying hard to not cause more harm to the genius. Tony wanted to say something, he opened his mouth... but he couldn't. The voice didn't come, everything hurt. "Leave him alone," the Captain growled, and hit Stark's ribs for the last time. Then he left.

He somehow crawled to the bathroom, writhing in pain. He checked all the cupboards in search of some painkillers. He swallowed several pills at once. Swallowing also caused him pain. But he had no choice. He didn't want to go back to his workshop, that was another thing he feared at the moment. Winter's reaction. So he went back to the couch in Main Room, he sat down, burying a face in his hands. Trying to calm down...

***

...he was a walking disaster. He was doing nothing but destroying.

"A little fight? That dick will regret it. Where is he?! In the workshop?!" Rhodey growled irritated.

"It wasn't Barnes. It was Steve," Tony admitted in the end. Rhodey opened his mouth, but closed it again. He was shocked.

"What do you mean Steve...? Steve did this to you...? Motherfucker." he muttered in disbelief, dropping onto the couch.

Tony sighed, lifting his chin up. Between the bruises on his neck, there was a red mark Winter had left. The main reason of all of this... No. The reason was different. He allowed this to happen. He deserved it and suffered the consequences. Rhodey frowned, not understanding. So Tony told him everything. About what happened in the workshop, how Winter... and then, when he met with Steve. How everything went wrong.

"I had no idea you and Barnes..." Rhodey began, but Tony immediately raised his hands in defense and interrupted him.

"It's not like that."

"Looks like that to me," he grinned, standing up. Tony just now noticed something, or rather, lack of something. Lack of walking equipment. So it worked out. "Wait a minute," he said leaving him for a moment. He returned with a small first-aid kit. "First we'll treat your wounds. And then I'll go talk with Steve, I won't be too brutal... maybe."

"Don't. Stay out of this. I'll handle it."

"If you ask me, we should leave this whole Wakanda bullshit... You should at least tell T'Challa, he cou-"

"You took off the walking equipment," Tony suddenly blurted, interrupting the latter. He hissed in pain when the wound met hydrogen peroxide.

"Don't change the subject, Tones," Rhodey said, sticking a charming adhesive dressing with a dinosaur to Stark's eyebrow. The cut wasn't too deep or large, should heal fast enough. "...I took it off, yes. I'm feeling strong enough to walk on my own."

"Can I... sleep in your room? I don't want to go back to the workshop, I don't have enough courage. And in my room... I no longer feel safe."

"Always."

The next day, Tony and Rhodey ate breakfast much earlier than the rest. Nat was informed about the situation that has taken place, and since now she had to keep an eye on Steve. Then they went to the garden where they sat on the grass in the shade of an umbrella, enjoying the view of the rising sun. Tony was drinking his coffee, and Rhodey was glued to the cup of steaming, citrus tea. They didn't talk. The genius' voice was still in bad state and babbling about stuff had to wait a little longer. He didn't sleep at night, he just couldn't. He felt guilty. That was all his fault. He was so lost in his own thoughts, that he didn't see two familiar figures passing them by. One of them stopped in place.

"Tony...?" a familiar person came to Tony's side and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Tony... what the fuck happened to you?!" the voice was raised and frightened. He knew this voice...

"I had a close encounter with a bear," he replied emotionless. He raised his head revealing the bruises on the neck. The gray eyes, full of concern were staring right at him. Barnes. Of course. What the fuck he wanted here? What an irony... he wanted to laugh, but couldn't.

"What is the name of that bear?" the man asked crouching next to the genius.

"Dunno, didn't ask. Watch out for those forests," Tony replied mockingly, glancing sideways at the person standing behind Barnes. Steve. He crossed his arms, staring at the genius with undisguised contempt and disgust. He was sending him a warning.

"Buck, you coming?!" Steve shouted.

"Yeah!" he shouted back, and turned to Tony for a second before he left. "We'll talk 'bout this later."

"He's worried about you," Rhodey pointed out, when two men were out of sight.

But they didn't talk about what happened. Not on the same day, nor the next one. Not even week after, Tony was avoiding Bucky like a professional. And finally they reached another Winter's day that couldn't be ignored. He appeared at Tony's couch around noon, when the genius was still asleep (he worked at night, as usual), without the magic words. He came out by himself, there was no need to pull him by force. He kissed and stroked the delicate skin, trying to wake the latter up. He was incredibly gentle. He caressed the wounds, as if trying to erase them completely. Stark gasped when he felt first twinge of pain. Winter moved away slightly, apologizing.

Tony really didn't want the other to pull back, he needed him near... he wanted to be hugged, he wanted some sort of assurance it all was just a bad dream... that Steve... yes, Steve. He opened his eyes, saw Winter hanging above him, close to his own face, their noses almost touching, a look of concern, a slight smile. Next second he felt soft lips on his own.

"Good morning," the soldier whispered, not moving away.

"Hey, Winter," he replied, their lips touched again. It was incredibly pleasant feeling.

"Somebody harmed you, I'd like to know who..." he whispered sullenly, resting his forehead against Tony's. The genius knew he should push him away, but he couldn't, quiet sob escaped his mouth. He just closed his eyes and held out both hands to the other man. Winter immediately embraced him. "Shhh... you're safe now, I'll protect you."

"Errr... you need another minute?" some female voice came from the doorway of the workshop. Tony flinched, wanted to move away, but Winter held him in place. Natasha smiled at them, visibly delighted. "We're starting Lord of the Rings marathon soon. I came to take you, you wouldn't make on your own."

"You want to go?" Winter asked, ready to throw Nat out at any moment. Tony nodded. Then the soldier stood up and took the shocked man in his arms, bridal style. He smiled and kissed the genius' temple. Right next to the cheerful dinosaur.

Tony placed his cheek on Winter's flesh shoulder, he felt safe. At lest now... he will worry about the rest later. He glanced at Nat forcing a smile. Natasha led them to a loveseat winking not to him, but Winter, who answered her with a sincere smile. He thanked in such a way. The soldier took reclining position, and forced Tony to lay down on him. He kissed the top of HIS genius head and embraced him with the bionic hand. The rest of the team came few minutes later. Most of them were shocked to see such picture painted before their eyes, later they found it quite lovely. But Steve... Steve was shaking with rage. Tony buried his face in Winter's T-Shirt. At some point, Clint threw a paper ball directed at him. A hand immediately went up. Winter. He caught the ball, sending Barton a deadly piercing gaze. If glances could kill, the birdie would have died a hundred times, or even more. The soldier wanted to stand up, to give the other man a lesson, but Tony pushed him back onto the couch.

"That's just a paper ball," Tony said looking straight into the gray eyes. Clint froze in place, didn't know what he can expect. Only then he noticed the state of the genius' face and neck. The terror flashed through his eyes.

"And those injuries..." Winter started in whisper, but Tony interrupted him.

"Certainly not from paper balls. It's not him," he added.

"Then who? You either tell me, or I'm going to slaughter them all on the spot. With or without the paper balls."

"Steve."

Winter shut up, looked around the room. His eyes met Steve's. He guessed it was his doing, but he wasn't absolutely certain. But now he knows, and won't leave it like this. Steve Rogers, so-called friend, harms HIS Stark. Ridiculous. He tightened his metal fingers on Tony's hip, and with the flesh hand he forced the genius to put a head on his chest.

"I promise he won't touch you anymore."

The atmosphere was tense at first, but then it relaxed. Apart Steve's rage. Tony fell asleep pretty fast, Nat brought a blanket so he wouldn't get cold. Winter hugged him all the time, but when he noticed that Rogers left the room, he sneaked out from under Tony and followed him. He found him in the kitchen, where he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"May I ask why?" he asked neutrally, masking his own fury.

"Why what?" Steve replied with a question, turning to face the other man.

"Tony's wounds. I know."

"He finally told you?" the blonde snorted. "He really lack honor. Son of a bitch. You want to know why? 'cause he uses you, Buck. He was meant to help you, and what he's doing? That whore just have a great fun! What else he overwritten in that programming? Forces you to suck his cock under the table?!"

"New expert of HYDRA's technology has been found."

"Stark uses you, can't you see this? He uses the program for his own desires."

"Really? Who am I?"

"Bucky."

"Fool," Winter's laughed, closed his eyes and relaxed. Oi, Buck. Need you, don't want to hurt yo friend. When he opened his eyes, they were totally different. Belonged to someone else... They switched. "Steve...?"

"...Bucky? ...what? ...how?"

"Tony avoided me for a while, had a chance to work with Winter on my own. We can swap."

"That's great! So the programming is able to be throw out soon..." Steve smiled and immediately hugged the other man. He, however, frowned and pushed him away. "Bucky?"

"Throw out programming? Steve, Winter is my second personality... he IS a person..."

"Bucky, don't trust Tony... he manipulates you. Manipulates the Winter Soldier programming for his own benefits. He's selfish and think only about himself. I wanted to help you so much, I even asked him and he... he just uses you. No idea why, but I'll find out. I just can't look at this anymore." Steve said with a hint of regret in his voice.

"He uses me..." Bucky repeated analyzing the words of his friend. You fucking tard., he thought.

"Yes... Bucky, I care about you...You know... I love you, I don't want to see you hurt." so this is it...

"Steve, I care about you, and love you too..." he stopped to look into baby blue eyes which were full of love and hope. "...but as a friend." Bucky saw in Steve's eyes how his world shattered into pieces after this.

When they returned to the main room everyone were asleep, but Tony. He wasn't even there. Bucky faked a yawn, and stated that he's going to sleep. Steve nodded, saying nothing. But instead of going to his safe room, he went to look for Stark. He found him on the the viewing terrace, leaning against the railing, and looking somewhere in the distance. Bucky walked up to him, embraced him from behind around the waist. He was afraid of his reaction. Tony, however, was relaxed and leaned the back of his head against the flesh arm. For a moment they stood in silence, watching the dark blue, starry sky. Warm night with a soft, cool breeze in the air. At some point, they saw a falling star.

"Make a wish," Bucky whispered in Tony's ear, faint of Brooklyn accent in his voice. The genius didn't notice this.

"You too," he answered.

"I will need you help with mine," he smiled. He noticed Tony glances sideways at him, trying to figure him out. He turned him around, and placed a hand on his cheek. For a long time he stared into his eyes, before he kissed him. Tony defended himself for a moment, trying to push him away.

"Winter, no... we can't. Steve..."

"Close enough. Name's Bucky. Don't bring Steve into this..."

"Barnes...?!" Tony jumped back from him, clearly fearful. "I'm sorry... It's not like this."

"What's wrong?" Bucky raised an eyebrow, and embraced the other man tightly. He had no intention of releasing him. Steve can repeat his shit for life. It was far from the truth. Again, he leaned towards the genius, slowly tasting his lips. He took his lower lip between the teeth, and sucked it afterwards. Tony sighed. They shared a long, passionate kiss; broke apart after a few minutes, when they lacked the air. None of them had an idea someone was watching them from the rooftop. "Turns out we have somethin' in common. Me and Winter. We both want you, Tony. I know we started badly. I know I hurt you. 'cause of me you lost parents... but, give me a chance... give US a chance..." he corrected himself, keeping his eyes on hazel ones.

"I can't. I..." I'm a walking disaster., he finished in his mind.

"Shhh... you can. And I, and Winter... we both lo-"

"Don't tell me that you love me**," Tony blurted out quickly, interrupting the latter. "I'm not worth it," he added, and then he pushed Bucky with all his strength and ran away. He left him on the terrace with opened mouth, a look of disbelief and confusion.

He wanted to run after him, yes, he wanted this so much. But Tony might need some time, perhaps he has set the pace too quickly. Maybe he should wait little longer, it all happened so fast. When he returned to the workshop, the owner wasn't there. Probably asleep in his room, he thought...

How wrong he was, when he found out in the morning, that Stark packed his things and flew out to Malibu. He left Rhodey, he flew alone. He said that he needed rest, and some place to be alone. Bucky couldn't eat anything during breakfast. Instead, he made a coffee exactly the same as Tony liked, and made his way to the basement. He asked FRIDAY to call Tony. He had to talk to him, but he wasn't answering. He tried to connect with him several times but failed badly.

"I advise you to try in a few hours, Sergeant Barnes. Mr. Stark is currently indisposed." FRIDAY said after tons of unsuccessful calls.

"What means indisposed?" he asked irritated.

"Intoxicated by too many spirit drinks."

"You mean he's drunk...? But..." Bucky began, next second dropping on the couch where Tony had slept all this time. A soft pillow, and a thin blanket in the corner. He laid down on them, inhaling the scent of the other man. "...then we'll try to call him later." he muttered under his breath. He fell asleep.

He was awakened by a FRIDAY's loud voice, few hours later.

"Sergeant Barnes, please wake up."

"'sup?" he asked faintly, trying to push the dreams away.

"I'm afraid that my protocols have been violated. A virus has sneaked into the system," FRIDAY began, but after a while Bucky couldn't understand anything.

"And in humanish?"

"Boss had an accident, the aircraft was forcibly brought to the ground."

"WHAT?!" he jumped up to his feet. His heart stopped beating, the world collapsed in an instant like a house of cards. "He's alive, right?!"

"I can not say that. When the aircraft collided with the ground, I reported a weak signs of life in the cabin," she said with a cracking voice. Bucky felt something wet on his cheeks. He was crying. Tony... he was speaking with him yesterday...

Steve. It's his fault. He clenched his fists and screamed with all his strength. His whole world shattered and it was because of his best friend. To the end of the line, huh? The pain in his chest was indescribable... he suddenly ran out of the workshop, looking for something. Someone. He found it in the Main Room. They all sat in front of the TV, watching the news. The plane... crashed... among some fucking jungle... stark industries on the tail. Bucky fell on his knees, nothing mattered anymore. Something died in him. He didn't know Tony for long, they spent nearly a month together but he knew that guy was the one he needed. He wanted to kiss him, sleep with him, and wake up next to him every morning. He just wanted to take care of him... He had no clue when he got up from the floor and walked over to Steve. He picked him up by the rags with his bionic arm, and threw him against the wall. He aimed his right hook in the stomach of the blonde. Rogers groaned with a pain and doubled over.

"ALL THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!" Bucky yelled pointing at TV's screen. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

"Bucky, calm down! Bucky!" it was Natasha. She ran to him, trying to stop him from beating Steve up. In the end, Wanda was forced to use her magics to restrain him.

"I'll never forgive you, Steve," the Russian and Brooklyn accent were heard in the same time.

He woke up in a dark room. He sat on some chair, pinned to it by steel belts, as if he had strength to run away. He felt dizzy, world was spinning around. He remembered he had an accident... He remembered that yesterday, he and Bucky... and he fled in the morning. The plane crashed. He tried to look around. He groaned. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Where am I?

"Welcome, Mr. Stark. Welcome to your new home."

He felt a needle at the back of his neck. Sudden pain. Then... then there's nothing to remember.

I was falling
I was falling when you found me
I was screaming
Someone save me from this gravity
I can’t rise above the darkness
Then you gave me wings to fly away

I was blinded
By the bright light as I rose up
From the shadows
That was all I’d ever known
Now I’m flying
Apart from you I am nothing
Because you are my wings***