Stupid freaking dog! Why can't you just run in a straight line like a normal beast? Uugghhh! My neighbors bull mastiff 'Stiffy' (No I'm not kidding, I wish I was) was dragging me down the sidewalk. I had offered to walk him today since my neighbor's wife just had a baby and they didn't have time to take him out. Big mistake, no huge, fucking colossal. This dog acts like its never been on a leash, never seen the outside, and god forbid another dog or person runs by because that is when he drags me like I weight nothing! I sighed and he finally started to calm down a little so I started to just walk. I relaxed and that was my mistake because a man was jogging towards us and I didn't see him until Stiffy perked up his ears and started to get excited. I looked up and started to shake my head.
"No no no Stiffy stay, Stiffy if you drag me I swear to got I'll fucki- Ah!" He dragged me right into the man and the man caught me.
"Normally I get an 'on your left', but you running into my arms works too." Said a deep voice and I looked up mortified.
"I am so sorry, this dog is part hell hound I swear, are you alright?" He smiled and nodded.
"Hell hound? I thought it was a small horse. Huh." He leaned down to pet the dog that was pushing against his leg. "What's its name?" I grimaced and sighed.
"First this isn't my dog my neighbor thinks he is punny. This is Stiffy, the bull mastiff."
"Did you just legit use 'punny' in a sentence?" I nodded and he threw back his head to laugh. "I'm Sam." He held out his hand and I shook it.
"F/N. Nice to meet you, however I'm sorry for the way it went down." He smiled again and shook his head.
"Hey now I can tell my friend that I got mowed down by a lady with a Stiffy." I looked at him and laughed.
"That'ts terrible, I love it!" He grinned and I realized that I was keeping him. "I'm sorry, you're probably busy and I'm yammering at you. Thanks for catching me." I smiled and started to back away from him.
"Uh no that's fine, maybe I'll run into you again sometime?"
"Well since I ran into you I think it's your turn." I smiled and he nodded.
"Tomorrow morning? Same time? I'll try to find an inappropriately named dog for you this time."
"See ya then Sam." I smiled at him and took off jogging toward the parking lot. "Alright Stiffy, I won't kill you, however our friendship is on hold until I can forgive you for acting like a heathen." He drooled on my seat and I just smiled. Tomorrow was looking bright already.