The Nightmare

It was well below freezing, but you wore your typical battle gear and you were born in that area. You were fairly used to the freezing winter of Russia. You sat near the top of the tree in quite an awkward position, but you had to see well enough through the branches without moving at all. One sound could mess this up. You had your sniper rifle pointed towards the open field in front of the large base. You were watching and waiting for the leader to emerge and take him out. The entire yard was far too quiet, but you knew there were other snipers everywhere. So there was no movement and no sound allowed whatsoever. Although the way you stood/sat in this tree was not entirely comfortable, it was still somewhat relaxing. You noticed your eyelids were feeling very heavy. You had not slept in over 40 hours because of this one mission. You were told the drugs you were given by you officer would help you. You prayed for them to last longer as you stared at the entrance of the base. Intel was said that a vehicle was ordered to pull up to the main entrance to drop off a package, and the man supposed to come out and get it was your target. You waited for this truck for hours. Maybe an entire day. Your eyes were getting heavier. You silently begged for this truck to show up as your eyelids grew heavier and the process of staying awake was now a challenge. No truck. No activity. Not even wind. Just silence. It was terrifying. But it was also oddly calming. You fought the urge for a long time, but not long enough. You felt your shoulders relax and lowered your rifle slightly until the barrel latched onto the branch in front of you. You closed your eyes and felt relieved instantly. You knew you only needed a few minutes and the truck would wake you up in the severe lack of wind. Your position was roughly 70 feet from the ground, so no one could get you. You drifted off quickly.

Your eyes remained closed as you let your body and mind regenerate for a few moments. You enjoyed the silence and peace while you could. 10 minutes had passed but you told yourself another 10 wouldn’t hurt.

Your air was suddenly cut from you and your back slammed forcefully against the back of the tree. A large hand grasped your throat and lifted you a few feet off the branch you once stood on. Your eyes opened but your vision was blurry as you tried to make out your attacker. Your gun was gone and all you could see now was the outline of a large man in front of you holding you up against the tree with one arm. Your vision still blurred but he was obviously dressed in all black. He even wore a black mask and black eyewear of some sort and his hair that was draped roughly shoulder length around his head was a dark brown. For a moment, you could have sworn you saw the hand around your neck glimmer slightly like metal. You saw his other arm raise and reveal a shiny knife. He moved it slowly to your neck as you struggled. He did not seem worried at all. He should have been though. You hand was down at you side near your knife. You went to reach for it and-

You couldn’t move. Your arm was frozen. You couldn’t even feel it. You tried so hard for your knife. The arm of the man raised to your neck level, and all you could do was stare. The gleam of his knife stood perfectly still. Then jolted straight at your neck.You closed your eyes and screamed as loud as you physically could and kicked towards him. The feeling suddenly returned to your arm and you reached for your knife in your belt. You panicked when you only found soft fabric instead. Still screaming, the pressure was no longer on your neck and you charged forward towards your attacker, only to be greeted with air and a short tumble to the carpeted floor beneath you that knocked your breath away and silenced you immediately. You breath fast and heavy as you opened your eyes and saw the bed you have just fallen out of and the covers that followed you down still wrapped around your waist. The warm and soft sensation of your heavy pajamas returned to replace the cold hard battle armor. The room temperature replaced the Russian winter. The bright white snow was now grey carpet in the dark room in the middle of the New York night. You realized you were still breathing hard and fast and now you were having a panic attack. You tried to calm your breathing as you talked to yourself to calm you down.

Your days in the army were over.
You now lived in Stark Tower in New York now.
You were in one of Tony Stark’s spare bedrooms. No, it was now your room.
It was just a nightmare. A nightmare of your last mission ever. And your first failure.
The mission would have failed even if you didn’t fall asleep. Later intel found the man you were after dead in the abandoned barracks several miles from the base. It was confirmed even later that he had died of pneumonia and the intel the army received was all falsified. That didn’t make you feel any better about being ambushed 70 feet above the ground just because you were trying to catch a very short nap. It has been a decade since you quit service after that mission, but the memories still haunt you.

You got off the ground and decided to go to the bathroom then grab a drink and something to eat real quick.

You were now living with your friend Steve, his best friend Bucky, and the rest of the Avengers at Stark Tower. You had lived there for 3 days now. You met Steve about two weeks ago when he saved you from a falling building in Sokovia. He was surprised when you said you didn’t need some knight saving you and pushed him out of the way to send a fist into the face screen of an Ultron android sneaking up behind him. You helped get other people to the lifeboats and refused to leave until the Avengers knew they were done. You also managed to rip the head off of another droid when it tried to enter the lifeboat and throw it into a different droid and knock out its core. You killed three Ultron androids with just your bare hands. There was no way Captain America and the other Avengers would not notice you. For a week after the event of Sokovia, Steve and the others tried to get you to join them, but you said you would not at all. As soon as you said you had PTSD and explained your past, Tony Stark invited you to live at the Tower with all of them so he could help you with your PTSD because he apparently had a breakthrough in helping the issue and possibly curing it altogether. After Steve convinced you enough and the two of you had started to become good friends, you finally decided for it.

After going to the bathroom down the hallway you started for the kitchen down one flight of stairs. Forgetting you were just in a flimsy tank top and your underwear you went to the kitchen. When you opened the fridge humming you didn’t notice the tall dark figure that had entered the room behind you. After deciding you would make you would make a sandwich, you sang to yourself quietly as you made it at the counter. The figure complimented your beautiful singing. You could feel your cheeks start to burn as you jumped hard and turned around and realized who had followed you into the kitchen from the hallway of your room. Steve’s best friend in the entire world, Bucky Barnes, is behind you in just his underwear with his metal arm gleaming brightly in the small light of the kitchen. He was smiling. That was the first time you ever saw him actually smile.

He slowly stepped closer and said, “I didn’t mean you scare you, it’s y/n right?” You nodded. “I heard you scream and wanted to make sure you were ok.”.

You responded back stammering, “Yeah. And it’s Bucky right?” He nodded. “Thank you but I’m fine. It was just another nightmare”.

“Another?” He emphasized.

“Yeah. I’m honestly used to it.”

“You were screaming very loudly and for quite a while to be okay.” He seemed concerned but still smiled.

“Really, I have lived the same moment over and over again nearly every night for a decade. I have lived.” You went back to your sandwich.

He went over to the fridge and looked in then mumbled something in Russian. For some reason your cheeks flared up again. When you first met him you instantly thought he was perfect. He was actually very hot and handsome. He was well built. You could see his biceps and abs through his shirt the day you first saw him. His hair was dark brown and shoulder length, but you have always had a thing for guys with dark hair of that length. There was not a lot to say about his metal arm other than it was shiny and looked extremely strong. His voice was also very pretty and smooth and hella deep at some points. You really wanted to talk to him more. But you thought that Steve and him were a thing since you had heard so many good things about him from Steve. He noticed you were blushing as he made himself a glass of water and looked at you. “You’re much prettier than Steve said you were y/n.” He noticed your shock. “Sorry I am probably creeping you out. He has told me quite a bit about you since he met you back at that weird robot smashdown he and the others had a couple weeks ago. You sound like an awesome and amazing person. And you have interested me greatly.” You were stunned. “I am honestly surprised he didn’t ask you out, being he kept acting like you were an amazing jewel. But he’s also going out with that one SHIELD agent Peggy, so I see why kind of.” You noticed his voice dropped when he mentioned this Peggy, almost as if he was jealous. But you now knew Steve was actually occupied with another girl, so him and Bucky couldn’t be a thing. And that meant Bucky was still single. “If you don’t mind, I am very interested in finding out more about you. How about we go out to the movies or pizza sometime? And I also suffer PTSD. I can see if I can get that nightmare to go away for awhile.” he winked at you.

You couldn’t believe what was going on. You finally managed to say yes and you would love that, so he then kissed your cheek and left. You slowly shuffled back to the stairs and slowly climbed back to your room. Once there, you stared up at the ceiling for hours until the sun was up.