Chapter 3
Tony was almost so distracted with the task at hand that he almost missed the sudden flush of his body, mistaking it for an adrenaline rush until he turns his head. It was funny; his whole life he’s seen in color and when he met his soul mate is hadn’t mattered anyways because he was wearing all black. Tony can’t help but think the little cat ears on the top of T’Challa’s helmet were cute but then his soul mate doesn’t look back, doesn’t look interested in him at all and Tony tracks his sightline. Bucky.
Figures, he goes his whole life believing he had no soul mate and when he finally finds his he isn’t even interested enough to spare him a glance and Tony knows he’s noticed. He would have seen the color leak into the world, unlike Tony, and yet he was focused on Barnes. It isn’t until later, when Ross says something, that he realizes his soul mate was King T’Challa and he was focused on his father’s murderer. He would have forgiven the understandable lack of focus on him if it weren’t for his complete lack of interest later.
He wakes up with a start, rubbing his temples, annoyed with the stupid dream that seemed to be there more than it wasn’t these days. Someone touches his side and he almost freaks out before he remembers that he brought someone home last night, right, and that was the guy he dragged out of some stupid event he had to go to in order to look good. He fucking hated appearances but they were necessary these days and he had to make sure the Avengers still had a good name whether or not he believed the rumors he was spreading. He gives his one night stand a pretty smile and makes sure to be distracting enough that nothing looks amiss.
*
T’Challa sits across from Steve, intent on getting his answers so he could figure this mess with Tony out. He got the distinct feeling that he was walked into the middle of a hornet’s nest with no protection and no idea that that nest was even there. Steve looks away, out of guilt T’Challa is sure, and he notes the movement in an attempt to gauge what exactly was going on here. “What happened in that bunker?” T’Challa asks again, more intent this time.
“Look, I know how this is going to sound-” Steve starts and T’Challa cuts him off.
“That does not sound promising. Explain,” he says shortly, annoyed with this cat and mouse game. Steve needed to accept that he was the mouse here.
Steve sighs and pinches his nose, “where do you want me to start?” he asks.
“Preferably from the beginning. I only caught the tail end of the conversation, just enough to know that Zemo killed my father and that Tony was not happy with you.” He could still see the hurt on Tony’s face so clearly, dreamed about it more often than he’d like to, before he slammed his hand into Steve’s face but that was when he had taken off. Last he saw of all three of them before he found Steve and Bucky limping out of the bunker was Tony intent on killing them both but why? Especially considering how he was handling the press. T’Challa knew that Tony was not happy with the Avengers, any of them, but especially Steve and yet he rarely indicated this to the public. He was an expert in avoiding giving his personal opinion and when he did the answers were short and spoken with minimal annoyance. It was a far cry from what T’Challa had seen in his brief time in Tony’s company and he wanted to know why.
So Steve explains Zemo’s speech, his showing Tony a video of his own parents’ death and T’Challa winces hard, knowing how it feels to watch a parent die. Expect he was not lucky enough to see it through a screen. And then, according to Steve Tony lost it but T’Challa knows that isn’t quite true, “no, he asked you something first. I saw that bit, he was still calm, what did you say? What did he say?” he asks. He had been turning away by the time Tony had hit Steve and that seemed… contrary to the calm that had been there seconds before.
“He asked if I knew,” Steve says and he looks away, telling T’Challa that he did without him having to ask. “I said that I didn’t and he told me not to bullshit him so I said that I suspected but-”
“So you lied to his face after he watched his parents get murdered?” T’Challa says, tone sharper than he means it to be. He takes a breath to steady himself, to contain the anger that was rising up. That would not do anyone any good, least of all him.
“I didn’t know for sure and-”
“You watched what remained of your best friend kill his parents, watched him watch that, and you found it acceptable to lie because of a technicality? I am sorry Captain but that is unacceptable, you have lost everything, I would have assumed you of all people would know how much it would hurt to have someone lie to you about loss. How long did you know?” he snaps. He curls his fist into a ball and lets it go after a moment, taking another steadying breath in an attempt to gain some control.
“Roughly two years, a little more,” he says quietly. T’Challa’s hand curl into a fist again and he takes a deep breath despite the fact that it did little to calm him now.
“You knew for years and you said nothing? How could you look him in the eye knowing that his parents’ death was not an accident as he believed? How could you have accepted his resources? His care? You are despicable,” he snarls, shoving himself out of his chair and marching a few paces away. He was being unreasonable he knew, letting his own experiences color how he viewed Steve. Death was difficult, he knew, and it was unlikely that Steve knew how to handle such a situation but he could not help but feel that he should have at least tried. Or, at the very least, he should have owned up to his mistakes when Tony asked him the first time. There was no reason to lie then, aside from trying to save his own skin. No wonder Tony backhanded him like that.
“T’Challa,” Steve says and he can hear him get out of his own chair, taking a few steps closer.
He turns quickly and Steve freezes where he is, tensed as if he was expecting an attack. Given Tony’s reaction perhaps the action was not completely unwarranted. “You know loss, better than anyone else on your team, arguably better than most living people, and yet you toy with loss because it makes you uncomfortable to tell the truth? Imagine how Tony felt to have found out a friend was willing to lie to him for years, and then again to his face, about the death of his parents.” He shakes his head; surprised that Steve of all people would do something like this. T’Challa would have assumed that having experienced so much loss himself would know better than to lie about something so important. And the death of a parent, T’Challa swallows his tears, doing his best to not think of his father. If he were Tony he would have been livid though not at Bucky. But he did watch the man kill his parents and knowing what he knew about Tony before that incident happened it was not a surprise that he hit a breaking point.
“I know, I already apologized,” Steve says softly.
T’Challa shakes his head slowly, “Okoye spoke to him, she says that Tony was rather insulted by your apology, which makes me curious as to what you said.” In the space of two weeks Tony lost his girlfriend, almost lost his best friend permanently, lost almost his entire team, he perceived the loss of his soul mate, and he found out that his parents were murdered and that one of his closest friends lied to him for years about it. T’Challa had a hard time believing that Steve could make all that worse but Okoye insisted that the letter certainly made this situation worse. Steve explains the letter, thankfully without prompting, and T’Challa takes a moment to digest it, to try and see the letter from Tony’s point of view.
It does not take him long to find the problems with it. “You realize there is a difference between apologizing for hurting someone and saying that you are sorry that they were hurt by your actions, right? One is genuine and the other is backhanded and absolves the person making the apology of all responsibility for hurting that person’s feelings. You did not apologize to him; you proved to him that you have no interest in anyone’s feelings but your own. And Bucky, though the letter was not what proved that. So you fought, what happened after that, when did Tony leave?” When T’Challa had last looked back the man was hell bent on killing Steve and Bucky, though T’Challa was sure he was more focused on Bucky. He wondered where that interest was now that he has calmed some. Surely he realized that Bucky was not truly at fault here? He hoped so given that he was currently storing the man in the basement.
Steve looks at the ground again and T’Challa wonders how the man managed to get through life being so easy to read. Or perhaps he felt guilty because T’Challa was clearly so angry with him. “I don’t know when he left,” Steve says and T’Challa’s eyebrows shoot up because this was not the story he was given when they left. “I… he’s clearly fine,” Steve reasons.
“He is very far from fine, Captain, what happened before you left?” Something Steve was not comfortable telling him if his avoidance of the subject was any indication.
“I… he… I managed to gain control in a manner of speaking and I broke off his helmet, left him exposed. Then I crushed the arc reactor with the shield and left, leaving the shield there with him,” Steve says. T’Challa waits for more, specifically the part where Tony left just fine like Steve told him he did but it doesn’t come.
“And how did he get out?” he finally asks. Steve had to know; he wouldn’t just leave a teammate there with such a high risk of death, right?
“He… I don’t know but he obviously managed, he’s fine now,” Steve says somewhat helplessly.
“You left him there? The reactor, that is what powers his suit, yes?” he asks and Steve nods, “so you left him there with no way to protect himself, no way to get back home, and for all you know HYDRA agents could have stormed in and killed him at any second,” he says slowly, trying to make sure he got this situation right. Because he has seen Steve with his team, it was hard to believe that he would just leave one of them behind like this. Even Scott Lang, a very, very recent addition was treated with a large amount of respect; surely Steve would not have simply left Tony like that.
Steve clenches his jaw, “he tried to kill Bucky, it wasn’t even his fault that he killed Tony’s parents and he wasn’t seeing reason!”
“Who sees reason in the face of death!” T’Challa yells before he tempers himself, “you did not try and kill me and I tried to kill Bucky. In fact here you are, accepting my help. Please, inform me of the difference between my grief and Tony’s?”
“That’s different,” Steve says immediately and T’Challa clenches his jaw. “Tony’s had almost two decades to process his parents’ death, your father just died right in front of you. And you had no idea about Bucky’s past,” Steve says almost gently, like he was trying to comfort T’Challa. He found the action patronizing but he quells his annoyance, knowing it was biased.
“Tony delivered a speech to a bunch of kids at MIT not two weeks before full well admitting that he did not process his parents death well if at all. And then he toyed with his brain to recreate a memory so he could reenact it with an ending that made him feel less guilty about whatever his last words to his parents were and you think his grieving process was over? Perhaps if you had no idea what he was doing I would believe that but you lived with the man, and you knew about that speech, so you full well know that your opinion on Tony’s grief is false. Even if you did not, you cannot expect a man to watch his parents die when he thought their deaths were an accident to respond to reason. Death and grief does not know reason, you know that, it’s likely why you made the stupid decision to leave Tony behind after nearly loosing Bucky again. The fact that you stand by that decision is questionable at best. And so you know I full well knew about Bucky’s past, I did not care. I wanted my father’s murderer dead because that is what grief does, why you expect Tony to act with more reason than either of us did I have no idea. Do enlighten me.”
He watches Steve closely, noting the way he clenches his jaw before looking away briefly. “You don’t know Tony, you Highness, he doesn’t respond to reason ever. He just does whatever the hell he wants, it wouldn’t have mattered when I told him about Bucky the results would have been the same.” Steve sounds frustrated, annoyed, and T’Challa knows that he did not look at any of his other teammates this way, including the constantly insubordinate Clint Barton. The man had a S.H.I.E.L.D record twice as long at Tony’s, which was impressive considering Tony was genuinely a danger to national security and has proven that by hacking various government systems several times. Most of those times were to ensure that Rhodey had a week off to come visit, which T’Challa thought was a clever show of power, if irresponsible. The military stopped being so understanding of finding Tony Stark in their systems when he stopped making weapons for them so Tony responded by hacking their systems twice as often. T’Challa had found that amusing though that was mostly because he rather disliked the American military.
“You did not listen to the entire world telling you to sign the Accords. Clint has proven himself insubordinate more than any other S.H.I.E.L.D agent to date, Natasha has alternative agendas more often than she does not, and all you know about Scott Lang is his name. It seems contrary for you to judge Tony for not listening to orders when none of you do, which is why governments were pushing for the Accords to begin with, might I add.” He raises an eyebrow in question, curious as to why Steve accepted the behaviors Tony exhibited so long as it was not Tony who exhibited them.
“That’s different, the Accords were attached to political agendas that I didn’t want, that Tony shouldn’t have wanted. He should know better than to trust governments, he never has before-”
“Which you heavily criticized him for until you started to distrust the government too,” T’Challa points out, “and you’ve never criticized Natasha for her distrust in the government either.”
“You can’t possibly think Tony was right, your Highness,” Steve says, just a bit of an undercurrent to his voice indicating that he was judging T’Challa on his answer. He did not appreciate such judgment.
“I believe Tony was more correct than you. Yes, the government systems are corrupt and they are not to be trusted and yes, Tony did not take that into account. But you did not take his reasoning for believing in that system into account either, content to ignore his feelings in favor of focusing on your own. I find it amusing that you mention agendas when you had your own agenda throughout this whole ordeal: Bucky Barnes. Do not speak to me about how agendas can go wrong when your own went disastrously enough to destroy an airport at the very least. Which Tony paid for, in case you did not know. We are not above politics, Captain, whether you would like to believe it or not. It is arrogant to assume that any one person can be apolitical. It is also considerably terrifying that you think any group of people should have unlimited power. I understand your distrust in government systems, but I do not understand how you could think yourself apolitical and all powerful.”
As much as he wished it were possible to be apolitical it was not reflective of reality. But by virtue of living in a world of inequality every person was living in a political body that informed their view of the world. While T’Challa did not approve of Tony’s excess of trust in the system he did approve of Tony, the least likely candidate according to Steve, choosing to reach out and listen to the voices of the world. And yet he did not listen to reason.
“That… it isn’t… it’s not the same. Bucky needed help and I think I can make better decisions than the government, look what they did in New York,” Steve finally stutters out.
“So I am learning. Though it is worth it to note that Tony offered to help Bucky, and he was the one who saved New York. From what I have gathered you have no issues with any of Tony’s behaviors, all of your team has exhibited one or more of the same traits on multiple occasions and you do not have a lack of respect for them. You have a problem with Tony, not his behavior and he knows it. He does not have respect for you because you lack respect for him, and even then I doubt that he had a complete lack of respect for you. Natasha told me that he spent a lot of time trying to avoid Ross setting his people on you and Barnes, yet Barton is under the impression that Tony personally threw you all in jail. And Sam informed me that Tony full well admitted that he was wrong in the RAFT when he wanted your location, yet you speak of him as if he never admits his shortcomings. So tell me, Captain, what is the truth? Because everything, including your own team, is giving me two near opposite pictures of Tony Stark.”
Steve watches him carefully, clearly not liking being under such scrutiny, but he should have considered that before he lied to T’Challa several times. Initially, at the bunker after Bucky was hurt, T’Challa could understand that. Steve almost lost someone else because of Tony and as much as he did not want to he empathized. That must have been difficult to watch, even if T’Challa was of the opinion that Steve’s own ignorance was what put Bucky in danger to begin with. His own fault or not though, it would not have been easy to watch one of the only things Steve had left almost die after being lost for so long. But after that Steve had no excuse, Bucky was safe, and T’Challa did not appreciate the lies.
“Can I ask why you care, your Highness?” Steve asks, tilting his head to the side in question. He does not miss the snide tone Steve used when addressing him and he wonders if this was how he spoke to Tony. If so than he saw little reason for Tony to like Steve Rogers let alone take his orders.
“Tony Stark is my soul mate and I must admit, so far I am not impressed with the way that he has been treated,” T’Challa says. Steve looks surprised, then guilty, then he manages to wipe all emotion from his face in general. Smart move. “I would like you to gather your team, I have questions for them too.” With that he turns on his heel and leaves, going to gather Okoye so she could sit in on the interrogation and gather information that he did not.
*
Shuri was sure that her brother had no idea what he was doing. He was looking in all the wrong places, putting his effort into all the wrong people, and that was going to go badly for him so she decided to do a bit of work for him. Besides, she was curious about what kind of man could throw her brother into such a tizzy when he was usually so calm and collected. That was how she found herself at Stark Tower waiting for his AI to let her in or reject her. Thankfully FRIDAY lets her in and Shuri swears the AI sounds apprehensive about doing so but that was impossible. It was technology, technology could not feel emotion with the exception of the Vision and he had an alien stone in his head. He hardly counted.
When she catches sight of Tony the man looks highly suspicious of her presence and she does not blame him. T’Challa has not handled the soul mate thing very well so far and it appears that Tony is the one who has suffered for it. “If you think I am going to try and convince you to date my brother you will be happy to know that I would find that request extremely disturbing. I am here to answer questions about T’Challa, it only seemed fair considering he’s looked into you.”
Tony’s lips quirk up a bit, “good to know. But I don’t have questions,” he says and she almost believes him.
“Everyone has questions about their soul mate, even if they’re directly related to how stupid they can be. And lets not lie here, T’Challa has handled this terribly, surely we can agree on that,” she says. Tony, oddly enough, looks more suspicious of her then than he had before and she makes note of that.
“You think T’Challa has handled this badly?” he asks and Shuri resists the urge to smile.
“I do. Anyone with basic common sense knows that harboring your soul mate’s arch enemy is bound to reflect badly on you,” she says. The comment gets an actual laugh out of Tony though she noted that he does not relax much. But he was more open, if he was willing to laugh, and she needed that.
“Technically he isn’t harboring Justin Hammer but point taken. Why are you here?” he asks and they both know what he’s talking about. Tony Stark has played the political game all his life and Shuri was counting on him being annoyed with it, otherwise her answer was not going to go over well. Her answer could very well go wrong anyways, but she was not interested in playing games and she highly doubted Tony was either.
“Because, despite having no interest in convincing you to date my brother I do not like seeing him struggle. If you had a personal connection to someone close to him you would be more willing to hear what he has to say, regardless of how badly it might come out. And besides, I am curious about the man that has sent T’Challa into such a tailspin. He is not easily flustered,” she says, smiling just a bit at that.
“You look happy about that,” Tony notes.
“I am not. But I would be dishonest if I said I got no happiness at all from watching him flounder. I love my brother but I have lived in his shadow my whole life despite being just as good at things as he is. It is nice to watch him struggle for purchase as I have had to, even if I wished that he did not have to,” she says. She had been a very jealous teen and she liked to think that she has grown out of being so resentful of T’Challa’s natural talent, but it did not mean that living in his shadow would ever be easy.
“What a great way to make yourself seem human and relatable, making yourself an underdog. Clever,” Tony says, lips quirking up just a bit though she wasn’t entirely certain what that meant. Both she and T’Challa struggled to read people at times and he had obviously not faired better trying to read Tony than she was currently.
“Is it working?” she asks, grinning.
Tony’s walls don’t drop completely but she did not expect them to. But he does give her a genuine smile as he shakes his head, “well I don’t hate you so far. So, tell me more about T’Challa’s awesomeness,” he says in an almost bitter tone.
“Do not compare yourself to him, it will not do you any good. Besides, he is under quite the impression that your team has wronged you. He is not very impressed with your Captain,” she tells him.
“First, not my Captain, second, is this your attempt to make T’Challa look like less of an ass?” he asks, eyebrow raised in question.
“No, of course not. Making myself seem likable enough to have a conversation with does not mean I intend to make T’Challa any more or less likable than you might already find him. I am simply stating facts,” she says. She had no desire to dupe Tony into liking her brother, she was certain T’Challa was likable enough for that on his own, not that Tony seemed very open to finding that out.
“Fine then, what’s T’Challa’s worst trait?” he asks.
“I expected a better test of faith from a genius but fine. T’Challa has two traits that irritate me in particular. The first is one you have experience with, his tendency to always be logical and analytical as he sees fit. The problem is that he tries to apply logic and analysis to things that are not logical, like emotions. He understands better now than when he was younger, and more so since-” her throat unexpectedly closes and she takes a deep breath to steady herself.
“Since your father’s death,” Tony says quietly and she is grateful for his assistance even though she usually detested when people tried to speak for her.
“Yes. But he has not dropped the habit completely, as you know. What he should have done was talk to you, try and understand you as you understand yourself, not get everyone else’s opinions and apply them to you but for some reason he saw that as more logical. It is not as if Wakanda is in a lack of danger with the Avengers in the country, I highly doubt you’re more of a threat than they are. But here we are, experiencing T’Challa’s logic. That, and he has a difficult time realizing that people are not naturally as good at things as he is. He has grown out of this for the most part but sometimes he still gets annoyed when people do not show the same amount of talent at something as he does despite knowing that he is naturally good at… almost everything, really. It made childhood irritating,” she says. Of course her father loved her too, but T’Challa was his pride and joy and she knew it. For a long time that was too painful to bear but she has moved on from that.
Tony considers this for a moment, “yeah, his logic is fucking stupid,” he agrees and Shuri laughs. “So, T’Challa is naturally good at everything and you don’t really seem all that excited about it, what’s with that?” Tony asks.
It was fair, she supposed, even if she had anticipated answering questions about her brother rather than herself. She supposes in a roundabout way she is talking about T’Challa, which very well might be what Tony was going for to begin with. He did not seem overly fond of the subject of her brother and after his actions she did not blame him for that.
“Well,” she says, “I have spent a lot of time working to keep up with him and for a long time I was bitter about it, and I cannot say I am very happy about it now. T’Challa rarely has to truly try in order to succeed; he is a natural leader, a natural fighter, a natural at retaining information and learning. These are all things that I have struggled with and he only recently started to understand that my inability to be the bright shining star he was was because I simply cannot keep up to his natural talent. My father loved us both but he always preferred T’Challa and I understand why, but it did not make it hurt any less and T’Challa never did see the favoritism. I am sure you know what it is like to be held to standards you have no hope of reaching, not that you did not try your hardest.”
She did eventually catch up but it took her years of work to do what T’Challa could do naturally. No one gave her any credit for it either, despite having put in far more time and effort than T’Challa. Tony looks at the ground, drawing her attention back to him, “yeah I know exactly how that is. Expect now everyone else compares me to Steve now too. The whole fucking world instead of just my dad. And here I thought never being able to live up to Steve Rogers as a kid was horrible, now I want to tell kid me to be prepared to have the whole world hate him for not being Steve Rogers as an adult,” he says, blinking the wet out of his eyes.
Shuri is unsure what to do with that for a moment before she leans heavily against the nearest wall. “It is not easy being the black spot next to the shining white knight beside you, nor is it easy knowing that no matter how hard you work you will never be seen in the same light they are,” she says quietly.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better I like you better than your brother,” Tony says and Shuri appreciated it but she knew that was temporary. T’Challa would figure this out, just like always, and of course Tony would like him better, should like him better even. The universe thought they belonged together for some reason and they were bound to end up together.
“For now,” she says simply.
“Liking T’Challa more doesn’t mean I’d relate to you less. Right now I see no reason as to why the hell we’re soul mates, frankly you’re a better match. At least we have stuff in common, I can’t possibly see why the hell I’ve been paired with a Wakandan Steve Rogers.” Tony rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed with this.
“Oh, make no mistake, T’Challa is many things but he would never be as arrogant or self centered as your Captain.” Or Tony himself, but she does not say that because she actually enjoyed Tony’s company. She could not say she felt the same about most of the Avengers though she did rather like Sam and Scott, the two were very good at bickering with each other and she found them amusing.