Bruce leaned back in his chair, stretching with a groan. The monitor in front of him seemed to swim, blurring around the edges. It was a quiet night in Gotham, which seemed like an oxymoron in and of itself. No crime sprees. Hardly a robbery.
He tapped his comm, trying to alleviate the boredom. "How are things down there?"
A huffed sigh was all he got in return. Dick-Robin-hated when he checked in. "Everything's fine, Bruce."
"Use the code names. You're out in public."
Dick sighed again. "Yes, Dad."
"Anything out there?"
"Some lady was screaming about her purse being stolen earlier," Bruce felt himself get excited, "-but she was just really, really drunk and it was in her hand the entire time."
Bruce deflated a little, leaning back against the chair. "It's too quiet out."
"You're telling me." Robin huffed. It sounded like he was leaping in between buildings. "Go take a nap, old man. You're stressing me out."
I don't want to… Bruce thought, then banished the whiny thought. "I can take the rest of your patrol, if you want."
"Bite me, Batman." Robin said harshly. "You haven't slept in six days. I can handle Gotham for one night."
"Fine."
"Fine." Bruce turned off the comm, frowning. He kicked his feet up on the table, leaning back. He watched the ceiling for a few minutes, watching the pretty patterns disappear into each other. He was tired…
A blaring alarm woke him, startling him so much he almost fell out of the chair. The monitor was flashing with alerts, displaying multiple incoming objects in Gotham's airspace. Hostile, and undefined.
Bruce smiled to himself, already reaching for the cowl.
"Nat, get his left side. Clint, I need covering fire overhead. Stark, with me." Steve yelled into the comm, leaping off the ledge without a second thought. He fell for a second, caught a moment later by strong arms. Tony looked down at him briefly, his face unreadable under the faceplate of the suit. "Thor, hit him with lightning again."
"He is not reacting," Thor said loudly into the comm, displeased. "The lightning has no effect on him."
Steve looked down at their target on the ground as Tony carried them. The creature was black, larger than the Hulk and definitely stronger. He flicked away Clint's arrows, and hardly noticed the blasts from Tony. In one word, it was FUBAR. "Hulk, engage!"
He watched the Hulk tear across the New York block, pummeling into the creature with enough force to level a building. The creature barely moved, looking at the Hulk like it was an irritable fly. "Shit."
"Was that a curse word, Captain?" Tony chided from above him, humor masking the worry in his voice. "Dirty mouth. Who'd have thought."
Steve just steadied himself, bending his knees and drawing his shield in. A second later, Tony dropped him onto the creature's shoulder. He swung the edge of his shield into the thing's neck as hard as he could, trusting the metal. It bounced off, barely leaving a mark.
Shit, shit, shit. Steve leapt off as the creature began moving again, desperation fueling his actions. "It's moving, guys. Heads up!"
The creature jumped, grabbing onto a nearby building and balancing itself there. Steve sent a thankful prayer to Thor for having evacuated the area a moment before. Speaking of… "Thor, can you hit it with the hammer?"
"Of course, Captain." the Asgardian leapt off his perch, swinging his weapon hard enough that the air around them crackled. A second later, the creature cried out, Thor's hammer landing in its fleshy stomach. "It seems to have a minor effect."
"Well, keep doing it!" Steve was running behind them as the creature sought higher ground. A thousand meters to his right, Nat threw something at it, only to get knocked to the side by one of its many hands. She hit a nearby brick wall and fell, motionless.
"Nat!"
He and Clint raced over as Tony assisted Thor and the Hulk, heart pounding. Nat's eyes were open when they got there, blinking slowly. "Ow."
"You need a doctor."
The assassin let her gaze sweep over him and Clint. They were both bleeding heavily. "So do you guys."
Before he could answer, Tony's voice came over the comms.
"Guys, he's heading to the civilian sector. This is gonna turn shitty really fast if we don't figure something out!"
Steve looked at Clint. "Think Thor and the Hulk can push him out into the bay?"
"What?"
He put a hand to his comm. "Push him up and out of the city. Get him out into the water, and we'll deal with him there."
He ignored Tony's ew ew ew ew's as Iron Man, Thor and Hulk battered the creature up and over the skyline. The creature roared in displeasure, trying to leap over the smaller figures. Steve raced back to the SHIELD jet they'd left a few blocks back, Clint hot on his heels. Natasha limped along with him, determination etched on her face.
"Wheels up in twenty seconds," Steve said as they jumped in, strapping himself in. He grabbed the controls, glad that Natasha was taking the copilot seat. "Where are you guys?"
"I have no fucking clue," Tony said, sounding strained. "It's dark up here, babe. Kind of like my soul."
Steve bit his tongue, launching the flight protocols. The wheels lifted up slowly, the jet hovering into NY airspace. A few seconds later, and they were miles above the city. Tony's repulsors were just a dot in the distance. "We're on our way. Just hold on, Tony."
Robin didn't startle as Batman landed next to him. He was too used to Bruce's tricks. The man was scary, but he was also a thirty-five year old man who watched Gilmore Girls reruns, and that was terrifying in and of itself.
"I thought I told you to stay home."
Batman grunted, settling into a crouch next to him. "Incoming hostiles in the airspace."
"Did you notify the JL?"
"No."
Robin sighed. "Did you at least tell Clark?"
"Use the code names, damn it!"
"Did you tell Superman." Robin said dryly. He had nothing on the scary Batman voice. "Please tell me you told someone instead of just gallivanting over here to save the day."
In the distance, four dots shone in the atmosphere. Robin squinted as a larger dot joined the blobs. "Are those…..the Avengers?"
Batman leaned forward, his cape rustling in the wind. "...shit."
"Now can I call the Justice League?"
"No," Bruce sounded horrified. "I'll deal with this. It's probably the Shadow again."
"The Shadow?"
"Remember that cross-dimensional thing the JL fought last week?" Seeing Bruce frown in the cowl was sure something. "Or was it the week before that?"
"Ohhhh. The black scary thing." Dick said, remembering. "Light sensitivity, right? It can't stand the sun. Superman pummeled it into space, it got really sunburned, bye bye Shadow."
"Which they would know if they weren't fighting it at night," Bruce turned to him, a smirk playing around his lips. "Wanna go upshow the Avengers?"
"Is that even a question?" Robin bounced up, grinning. "Please tell me you brought the Bat, old man. You gotta be cool at least one day out of the year."
Bruce scoffed. "Who do you think I am? The Flash?"
"Ooooh, I'm telling him you said that."
Steve watched in dismay as Tony and Thor couldn't keep the creature contained, watching it sail down into what looked like a city. He dipped the jet down, keeping an eye on where it landed. It looked like a river, though in the dark, it could have been anything. "Alright team. We've got problems, mass civilian presence-"
"Nothing's working." Clint said next to him, obviously frustrated. The second the jet touched down, he was out, his bow in, strangely, his left hand. "We gotta call in reinforcements."
Thor hit the creature with his hammer, sending it skidding just a few feet. Hulk ran forward with a roar, slamming into the thing, only to bounce off its foot. "Nat?"
Natasha gave him a weak thumbs up from the copilot seat. "Give 'em hell, Cap."
Shit, Steve thought, wondering if SHIELD even had assets nearby that could help. "Tony?"
"Yeah babe?" Iron Man was circling the creature's head, blasting it with his repulsors. "Kinda busy…"
"We need to call in backup," he bit out, sending his shield flying. It hit the creature's leg and bounced back, slamming into his hands. "Right now."
"No need."
Steve startled at the deep voice, turning and brandishing his shield. A man in a dark cape stood in the shadows, something glowing in his hands. "Who are you?"
"A friend." The man said, his voice eerily familiar. With a tap against his ear, he tuned into their comm frequency. Steve's jaw dropped. "Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, retreat twenty feet immediately. Robin, on my signal."
Steve heard Tony's laughter over the comm and turned to their unlikely ally. "You're-"
"Yep." Batman leapt over him as the creature swung, dodging the thing's hands easily. In his hands, what looked like a rope unspooled, so bright he could barely look at it. "Robin, now!"
A smaller figure dove off a nearby building just as Batman threw the rope, catching onto it easily. Together, the pair circled the creature, yanking the material until it was taut around the alien. Steve could only watch, dumbfounded.
"Is that who I think it is?" Clint said next to him, eyebrows rising up his face. "Please tell me we're not in Gotham."
Nat limped over to them, holding onto the archer for support. "Hate to break it to you, but I think we are."
"I knew it."
"It's dark out, Clint. You can't see anything."
The archer folded his arms. "I can smell it."
Steve ignored the pair as Batman and Robin finished tying up the creature, speaking softly to each other. Tony, Thor and a half-dressed Banner walked over, wary of their new allies. "Steve, you alright?"
He smiled as Tony's faceplate went up, happy to see only a few scratches on his boyfriend's face. "Yeah. Glad no one's seriously hurt."
"Oh, I'd reconsider that diagnosis." a cheerful voice said. Steve turned to find Robin at his elbow, a smug grin on his face. He pointed. "She's got three cracked ribs, a concussion, and some contusions." He pointed at Clint. "And he's got a broken wrist."
Steve raised his eyebrows. "You can just tell these things?"
"Well, you've got a cracked sternum and three broken fingers, but I think those will heal soon, won't they, Captain?"
Tony looked over Robin's head at Batman. "What the fuck?"
Batman shrugged. "He's precocious."
"No shit."
The group fell quiet, glancing at the trussed creature. Steve finally found his voice. "Thank you for the, uh…..assistance. Sir."
Batman didn't visibly react, but Steve could tell the title had confused him. "Next time, don't bring your trash into Gotham, and we won't have a problem."
Robin snorted, leaping forward into a handstand. He looked at Steve, upside down. "He's just grumpy. Why don't you guys come back with us to the house? We've got plenty of room."
Batman glared at his protege. "Di-Robin. We-" He paused, tapping his ear as some communication came through. Steve watched, fascinated. The man pursed his lips, then sighed.
"JL's on its way to pick up Shadow. The invitation stands."
Tony leapt forward, reaching for Batman's arm, and reconsidered at the last second. "Bats, man, can I get a ride?"
"No."
"Can I at least...see it?"
"See what?" Thor asked Banner, who looked similarly awed. "What is it the man of bats has that has dumbstruck you, my friend?"
"Science," Banner said seriously, eyes wide. "Science."
The conversation stalled as a blur of red and blue landed next to Batman. Superman's features were clear in the low light. Steve heard a thump and saw Clint fall into Nat's arms with a groan. "Oh Jesus."
"Superman," only Batman could make meeting the other man look casual, nodding his head like he did this every day. Perhaps he did.
"Batman." Superman's voice was a pleasant baritone. He inclined his head, smiling at the group. "Busy night?"
Robin snickered. "You have no idea."
"Well," Superman said, walking over to the creature. He turned to Batman. "Shadow again. Diana's new compound work this time?"
"Yes." Batman responded, tilting his head. "Where do you want to put him this time?"
"This time?" Steve asked, freezing as both figures turned to him. "It's just...uh, you've, uh, fought him before. I guess?"
"Last week," Batman said, voice tinged with irritation. "Check the inter-league communications better, Captain. You might not make a mess next time."
Superman's smirk was anything but patriotic. He exchanged a few more words with Batman, then grabbed the creature and vaulted into space. They were gone in a blink of an eye. Clint let out a groan, still slumped against Nat.
"Well, that was interesting." Tony said sarcastically, walking over to Batman and Robin. "We'll follow you to the cave, alright?"
"A cave?" Banner looked like he was about to wet his pants, grabbing Thor's shoulder in a death grip. "The batcave?"
Batman sighed, demonstrating his ability to pinch the bridge of his nose even with the cowl in place. "Robin, I'm going to kill you one day."
"You have a rule!"
The taller man glared. "You make me want to break it every goddamned day."
"I want to re-break your back every day!"
Steve walked over to Tony as the two began squabbling, frowning. "Is this...normal?"
Tony grinned, folding his arms.
"Wait till you meet Alfred."
Inside the Bat, Bruce tapped his comm. Alfred's face appeared before him, impassive as always. "Master Bruce. Master Dick."
"We have guests." Bruce said stiffly, rolling his eyes underneath the cowl. "The Avengers may need some medical attention."
"Of course," Alfred looked unfazed. "Shall I prepare a late dinner?"
"Yes," Dick said, leaning in so Alfred could see him. "Alfred, did I ever tell you you're my favorite person ever?"
"Every day, Master Dick." Alfred looked at Bruce, who was watching the sky as the Bat flew. Their guests were following close behind. "Will that be all, Master Bruce?"
"Yes, thank you, Alfred."
Dick snickered as Bruce jabbed at the off button. "The Avengers looked like they were about to shit their pants when you showed up."
"I'm sure Alfred can do laundry when we arrive." Batman said, deadpan. Dick just laughed.
"If only they knew about your sense of humor, Bruce."
Steve was in awe of the Batcave before they'd even entered it, watching the waterfall part to allow the SHIELD jet in. He set it down on a large platform half a mile in, cataloguing all the rooms, machinery and computers in the large cavern. Banner looked like he was about to cry.
Though he knew the man's identity, it was still a shock to see Bruce Wayne's face as the man tapped at a computer, still wearing the Batman costume. Robin was next to him, feet propped up against the monitor, his mask missing as well. He waved when he saw them. "Avengers!"
Steve couldn't help but think he looked young. Robin was blue-eyed with a shock of dark hair, eerily similar to Wayne. Before he could say anything, Tony strode over, grinning wide. "Brucie!"
Robin almost fell out of his seat with laughter, while Bruce just glared at Tony. Steve took a step back, wondering how Tony could stand that look. "Did he just call you Brucie?"
"Well, Dick, which one of us has the monopoly on shitty names?" Bruce bit back, glaring. There was very little of his sleazy, Bruce Wayne persona even visible in his face. "Take Banner, Thor and Tony to medical bay five. I'll take the rest."
Robin nodded, bouncing over to Banner and Thor. He held out a hand. "Dick Grayson. Nice to meet ya."
Banner shook his hand vigorously. "Bruce Banner."
"You're the big green one, right?" Dick slapped him on the back. "Awesome. And you must be Thor!"
"I am, little bird." Thor rumbled happily, enjoying the attention. He smiled at Dick. "It is nice to make your acquaintance."
Tony joined the three, sending Steve a semi-worried glance. He pointed at Dick. "Don't forget about Uncle Tony!"
Dick raised an eyebrow, looking a lot like Wayne for a hot second. "Uncle Tony….Right…"
Steve watched them walk away, checking Tony subtly for injuries. Whatever was wrong with them, he was sure Grayson could handle it. He sensed the boy had had good training. Even he could admit that.
He turned back to Clint and Natasha, who were watching Bruce carefully. "Um, so…"
"Medical bay is this way." Bruce said, standing. He looked unintentionally impressive in the suit, shoulders broad, a dark cape flowing behind him. Regal, even. "Please, follow me."
The man was silent as they walked through hallway after hallway, leading them to a bright room with a plethora of machinery. Steve knew, just from his times in the hospital, that Wayne had as much, if not more, than a normal hospital room's worth of machines available. "So you're...rich."
"You could say that," Wayne replied, gesturing for them to sit. He grabbed a pair of scissors, and, before she could react, sliced open Natasha's suit down the seam. "Mhm."
"What the hell, man!" Clint said, struggling to stand. He stumbled over to Natasha's side. "Nat, you okay?"
"Fine." Natasha breathed, a bit of color returning to her face. Her hand went to her ribs. She looked up at Wayne. "T-thanks."
Wayne quirked a brow. "She couldn't breathe. That happens when you break ribs." He turned to Clint. "Would you rather she try to undress herself?"
Clint sat down, momentarily cowed. Wayne spared a glance for Steve, who said nothing, then returned to his work. He slathered something across Natasha's ribs, then bound them in a strange-looking linen.
"What's that?"
"Amazonian binding cloth," Wayne muttered, tying it into place. He touched Natasha's head once. "It should heal your ribs quickly. The concussion, I can't do as much for."
He grabbed a flashlight from a nearby drawer and shone it into Nat's eyes, checking her pupils. His movements were swift and efficient, like he'd done it many times before. "Count backwards from three hundred in your native language, in groups of eight."
Natasha frowned slowly. "I, uh...триста, двести девяносто две…."
"...двести восемьдесят четыре," Wayne supplied when she faltered, frowning. "You need rest. It's a bad one."
Steve leaned forward, watching Nat carefully. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"I'm fine." She said quietly, drawing a snort from Wayne. "I'm just gonna...sleep now…"
The assassin closed her eyes and was out, head falling back to the pillows. Wayne waved once and the lights around them dimmed. He turned to Steve, face blank. "I'll wake her in an hour and check her vitals."
"Thank you." He said to the other man, and meant it. "For helping us."
"Tony's a friend." Wayne said, like it was nothing. He moved over to Clint, touching his wrist gingerly. "Yep, that's broken."
Clint raised an eyebrow. "No shit."
Wayne made a noise in the back of his throat. Clint paled a little. "I'll set the bone for you, but it'll hurt."
"I'm not scared of a little pain," Clint said bravely, squaring his shoulders. Wayne shrugged and, with a wrench of his fingers, snapped the bone back into place. "I-HOLY SHIT!"
Wayne set to binding it with the strange cloth from before as Clint swore up and down. "Give me a little warning next time!"
"Why?" Wayne asked dryly, but Steve could see a smirk on his lips. "Want some painkillers?"
"Maybe," Clint pouted, lip jutting out. "Got any morphine?"
Wayne raised an eyebrow. "Morphgesic SR, MXL, Zomorph, MST, Sevredol, or Oramorph?"
"Ooh, gimme some of the MXL."
Steve just shook his head as Clint happily accepted an IV, laying back and closing his eyes. It took him a while to realize Wayne had turned to him, staring intensely. "I'm, uh, I'm fine."
"If you say so," Wayne said, shrugging. He made it seem trivial. Steve wanted to punch him suddenly, but had the impression he'd lose even more badly than before. "Let's go find the others. Your friends will be safe here."
"What's your problem?"
Wayne paused at the doorway, frowning. "What?"
"What's your problem with me?"
"I don't have a problem with you." Wayne said, oddly honest. He tilted his head. "Ever wonder if it's you who has the problem, Captain?"
Steve bristled. "Stay away from Tony."
"Trust me, I have no plans with Tony." Wayne sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We're friends. That's it."
"But you're an asshole."
Wayne smirked, looking up. "So's your boyfriend, Captain. Or didn't you notice?"
With that, the man stalked away, his cape flowing behind him. Steve looked down at his hands and sighed.
"What the fuck was that?" Clint asked, startling him. "Like, literally, what the actual fuck, man?"
Steve looked up guiltily. "Nothing."
"Uh huh," the archer muttered, eyes closing. "Sure."
Bruce found Banner in his seat when he returned to the cavern, fiddling with his computer. The man was hunched over the machine, tapping intermittently at the keyboard. He noticed the intact firewall and smiled to himself. "Mr. Banner."
Banner jerked in his seat, turning around clumsily. "I am so so sorry! I wasn't snooping, I was just-"
"Snooping." Bruce said dryly, sitting next to him. He undid the gauntlets around his wrists, relaxing as the leather was removed. "I don't mind. I don't think even Tony could crack it."
"Is that a challenge?"
Both Bruces looked up to see Tony in the doorway, a smirking Robin behind him. Wayne sighed. "What are you two up to?"
"Not much, actually." Tony strode forward, swinging something in his hands. Bruce eyed it warily. "Steve okay?"
"Not worried about the others?" Bruce asked flippantly. Tony snorted.
"He's the only one who could piss you off badly enough that you'd stuff him somewhere cold and forget about him." Tony replied tersely. "Annnnnddddd…..judging from that facial expression, I'm guessing we're close to Operation Cold Stuff?"
"He's still jealous, if that's what you mean." Bruce said, feeling oddly irritable. "Like I'd want your crusty ass."
Dick made an oooooooohhhh sound. "Fight! Fight!"
"Shut up."
"Okay."
"Trouble in paradise?"
Bruce's hand went to his ear, hearing Clark's familiar voice. "I thought this was a private network, Kent."
"Sorry, couldn't help listening in. I'm curious."
"Go be curious in outer space."
"It's cold out there."
Bruce narrowed his eyes. "Warmer than being dead."
"Fine, fine. Superman out." Bruce clicked off the comm, dreading the playful note he'd heard in Clark's voice. He looked at Dick. "Alfred down yet?"
"Speak of the devil."
Bruce turned to find Alfred with a tray in hand, being assisted by Captain America as he stepped down the stairs. "Alfred."
"Master Bruce." He said cheerfully, placing the trays on a nearby table. "I took the trouble of arranging some food for your guests."
Dick did a cartwheel over and grabbed two sandwiches and an onion ring, stuffing them all into his mouth at once. "I wuv yew, Allffeeduh."
"As do I, Master Dick."
"So, is Dick your son?" Banner asked Bruce, who choked. "Uh, was that a bad question? I am so, so sorry."
"No, he's…" Bruce looked at Dick, who was grinning widely. "He's adopted. Yes, He's technically my son."
"He just doesn't want to admit that he feels some affection for me, is all." Dick said once he'd swallowed. "He's grumpy like that."
Bruce glared at him. "I'll ban Julie from the house. And take away your bike."
"You wouldn't!"
"Try me."
Steve sat down next to Tony, who fed him a bite of sandwich. Clint had reappeared with an IV pole next to him, smelling food. Thor looked enormously pleased by the spread, and patted Alfred on the back carefully. "This looks quite grand, my friend. We should bring you to an Asgardian feast one day, so you can learn their recipes!"
Alfred sent Bruce a measured look, who shrugged. "Perhaps one day, Mister Thor. Thank you kindly."
"Of course!"
Steve was purposefully posturing with Tony, letting him feed him even more, and edging closer into Tony's personal space, who didn't look like he was minding it one bit. Bruce grit his teeth at the display, feeling frustrated. He opened his mouth to say something when the transporters on the wall activated. "I-"
Diana and Clark strode out of the transport module, Clark making an instant beeline for the food. Clint paled considerably and handed him an onion ring.
Diana locked eyes with Bruce. Uh oh.
Before he could say anything, she stalked forward and grabbed him out of his seat. His heart thudded wildly-what the hell could she be mad about? "Diana, I-"
His words were cut off as Diana pressed her mouth to his, crushing him. It was like fire. He kissed back with a soft groan, feeling her hands in his hair, her pressing close to him, so close, so close…
The kiss cut off suddenly as Diana stepped back. "Just wanted to say hi before I went on patrol, Bruce."
Bruce nodded after a second, unable to form a comprehensive sentence for his life. "Uh...huh."
Diana smiled wide, then looked at Steve, whose jaw was hanging open. "Got something to say, stars and stripes?"
"No Ma'am." Steve said finally. Next to him, Tony and Dick were laughing so hard they didn't even make a sound, chests heaving. "Not at all."
Diana smirked. "Good." With that, she strode off to the transporters. "Bye, Bruce!"
Bruce had managed to compose himself by this point, and sat back down. Clark was grinning around a french fry. He'd had something to do with this. "So, Tony...Lunch next week?"
"Let's make it a double date!" Tony said cheerfully, hugging Steve close. The Captain met Bruce's eyes and nodded once, looking chagrined. "Alfred can cook!"
Dick fell to the floor with an ungraceful thump. Bruce bit off a sigh and looked at his friend.
"Sure. Why not?"
Clark turned off the monitor, searching the Watchtower for any heartbeats. It was midnight, and Bruce was usually here by now. Strange.
He heard footsteps down the hall and settled. There he was. "Bruce?"
"Kent." Batman stepped into the room, inclining his head. "Busy?"
"Quiet." Clark replied, standing to grab his stuff. "So, about the other night…"
"I know you paid Diana off."
Clark bristled a little at his tone. The Batman voice was nothing to trifle with, though. "I was just looking out for you. Now Steve isn't jealous. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Batman sighed, taking his seat. He turned his monitor on. " job, Kent. You saved the day. Hurrah."
"What, would you rather I'd done it?"
"Hell no." Bruce actually looked physically sick. "I would've kicked you in the balls with the Kryptonite-reinforced boots I have downstairs."
"See, that's why Diana was-wait." Clark paused. "Do you actually have Kryptonite boots?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Bruce!"
Wayne smiled. "Sorry, can't hear you." He placed his comm into his ear, dialing up the volume. "I have to talk to my girlfriend." He tapped the comm. "Wonder Woman, are you in position?"
"Bruce!" Clark said again, getting a middle finger in reply. "Fine. Be that way. I'll just find those boots."
"Good luck. They're in a lead-lined box."
"I'm gonna find them anyway."
"Great. You can shove them up your ass for me."
The End