Steve and Sam accidentally get a baby
He's probably not supposed to say it, but Steve is grateful that Sam bought the "dad diapers" with arrows and instructions printed right there on the tabs. It's less that he's confounded by non-cloth diapers than that the last time he saw babies being changed with any regularity was when Becca Barnes was small and Bucky was wrinkling his nose, wondering out loud as he cleaned her up how he'd ever look her in the eye when they'd grown. (As it happened, Bucky and Becca got along famously; Steve regretted that she'd died in 1999, long before any of them would have had the chance to reunite.)
"Dude," says Sam, frowning over his shoulder. "When was the last time you--"
"1928," Steve says, focusing on a tab that's not quite as sticky as it should be. Meanwhile, Baby Jane Doe kicks and squalls impatiently. "Come on, come on," he mutters, pressing down and hoping that does the trick as he lifts her.
Baby Jane Doe keeps on howling. Steve tries rocking her, cradling her, bouncing her; she spits up angrily all over his shoulder.
"Good Lord, you're making me crazy." Sam holds out his hands. "They were right about you and women. Hey, sweetness, come here, I got you."
Sam spends the next hour gloating about his pararescue touch, even while Baby Jane Doe sleeps until his arms fall asleep.