Chapter 13
In the quiet, Wanda seeks Bucky out. She finds him in a seat by the window, sitting on his own, with a newspaper spread out on the table, next to his phone and a crumpled packet of cigarettes. When he sees her coming he folds the newspaper up, swipes the cigarettes and phone from the table, and swiftly gets to his feet. Then he follows her, away from the bar and down a small corridor that takes them out into the alley at the back of the bar.
Bucky stays close behind her until they step out into the tiny space, filled with old boxes, crates, and a metal bin by the door. He spends a minute taking it all in, as if it is all deeply interesting to him. When he's done he pulls a cigarette out, lights it, then offers it to Wanda. She takes it eagerly, and as Bucky lights his own cigarette she closes her eyes and lets herself enjoy it.
When her eyes open again she finds Bucky standing away from the door and over by the wire fence that surrounds the little space. He's leaning against it, while still looking around the alley again, and for a moment she wants to ask him why he is so interested, why he is here, but for a minute more she lets herself enjoy this little break. Half a minute later, Bucky ends the silence.
"So this place..It's nice." he hums, moving the cigarette to his lips. "It's nicer than I remember, I mean. Did they, uh—Is there new management? Or the same old guys?"
Smiling slowly, Wanda turns to Bucky a little more. She is curious about him and why he's here today, and she is also curious about why he is stalling. He isn't here to talk to her about this place, about the new and old owners. But she doesn't mind if this is what he wants to talk about for now. She finds herself welcoming this little distraction, welcoming his company, and she feels as if they could talk about anything at all and she would still feel this way. When it comes to the man in front of her, Wanda finds that she feels very deeply interested and curious in him.
"I'm not sure, sorry. But Daniel is new, I think. He has only worked here for a few years, if I am remembering right." she answers soon, still smiling. "Thank you, for the cigarette. And this small break. I didn't mean to keep you waiting so long, it was just busier than I expected it would be."
Slowly Bucky looks her over softly, as a smile starts to tug on his lips. Then slowly it appears, spreading over his lips in a sweet, almost peaceful way, and Wanda can only think about how nice it is to see him so relaxed and smiling at her like this.
"No problem, really. I don't have anything else on, so it's fine." he answers, while tucking an arm around his chest. "You probably saved me from a boring day with Wilson and his girl. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like them 'cause I do. it's just that sometimes being the third wheel sucks. You know?"
Quietly amused, she nods along with him.
"I think I know what you mean."
"Yeah, you must. Your brother and Barton, they're love-sick. I imagine that must get..Intense."
Lovebirds is the right word, she thinks. They are lovebirds; always around each other, always smiling, and laughing, and so happy. There is something special about them, too. Something Wanda has seen since the start, and it is still there now. She sees something in Pietro that only Clint brings out in him, something only he can give him, and it is the same with Clint.
They are happy, and this is all that matters to Wanda. She cares about them both very much and to see them so happy, so free and filled with love, only makes her happy.
"They are sweet. I am always happy to see them together." Wanda answers, pausing as she takes a step closer. "So, uh..I have to say this—Well, I'm not really sure what this is about. Why you are here, what you wanted to talk about.."
Across from her, Bucky laughs a little in a sweet, almost nervous kind of way. Then it slips and he turns his head away, back to the fence on his left, as he curls his hand around it again and lowers the half-finished cigarette from his lips. After considering it again she decides that she's not sure that he actually is nervous, but she knows that whatever this is, whatever reason he's here, is important. It means something, and that's why he's like this right now. There's something heavy on his mind, something he needs to get out.
"Yeah, look, I just..There was something on my mind It's why I'm here." he admits, then glances back. "And I figured that now was a good time since I was here. I didn't know if it was something to say over the phone, you know? And I'm really not good at these things. Just ask Steve, or anyone. They'll tell you."
Wanda smiles faintly, as she steps away to stub out her cigarette. It's not that she doesn't want more, it's just that she's trying to cut back. She wants to, for herself and for her brother because she knows that he doesn't like it. She's not sure if it will work but she's trying. After she steps away from Bucky, just enough to stub out her cigarette on the ground, Wanda crushes it out on her boot and glances up at him.
"Okay, I understand." she calls back. "So tell me, what is on your mind? What is this about, James?"
There's a moment where Bucky hesitates, clearly uncertain, then he sighs and shares the truth with her. His real reason for being here. And once it's out, it doesn't surprise her at all that this is what's on his mind.
"It's about last night. The phone-call."
And now it clicks. Wanda understands why he's here now, or at least she thinks she gets it. He's here because last night was too much, too intimate, to ask of a stranger, and she understands why he feels this way. It's not something Wanda's sure she could do for someone else, or this is what she tells herself as she tries to get a read on Bucky.
His face is too clouded though, too difficult to read, which is new for her because she rarely struggles to get a read on people, even the ones she doesn't know. But this is different, she realizes it now. He is different, too.
"Oh. That."
"Yeah. That." he shrugs, faintly smiling. "Listen, Wanda. I think that you—"
"I should never have asked you to do that. I realize now that I shouldn't have asked that of you. A stranger. So I am sorry if it made you feel...Bothered. Or uncomfortable."
A different, less clear look fills Bucky's eyes after this, as he steps away to crush out his cigarette with his boot and discard it in the metal trash-can by the door. He watches Wanda as he throws it away and then he looks back to her, that same look on his face, and a smile on his lips that is almost familiar, almost like the one she dreamt about once.
"That's not what I'm talking about. Wanda, that's not even close to what I'm talking about. I'm sorry, I think there's been a big misunderstanding here."
His smile is sweet, she realizes it now. It's sweet, and sincere, and there is something faintly sad about it as he comes to stand just a few steps in front of her, one hand by his side, the other now tucked into the pocket of his jeans.
"If it isn't about that," she pauses, clearing her throat. "Then I don't understand why you're here. I'm sorry, I am lost."
It's something Bucky considers, while moving to lean against the fence, the smile growing on his lips. It is still sweet and genuine, and it is clear that he is here for a reason but she still doesn't know what that reason is. If it's not about that, then maybe it's about the call. Maybe she said something she shouldn't have, as she drifted in and out of sleep.
"What?" she pushes, following him. "What is it? I don't understand what this is about."
"Nothing, I'm just..You really think that's why I'm here? You think I'm uncomfortable because we talked on the phone?"
"Not that." Wanda explains. "The end."
A flicker of realization fills his eyes, and it is quickly followed with something else that reminds her of familiarity. Maybe he is used to this, she decides. Maybe he listens, to his friends, and maybe even sometimes to strangers, or maybe there is something else there that he's still keeping to himself.
Whatever it is, it passes as Bucky pushes himself off the fence and walks back over to where Wanda is standing, in the space between the fence and the door to the bar.
"I wanted to check in that you were okay. Because last night, you didn't sound so okay. So that's all it was. I was gonna call, but then I ended up here anyway so I figured..Why not?"
It dawns on her slowly, why he's really here, why he wants to talk. He cares. In his own way he cares and this is why he's here. It's not because he was uncomfortable, or because she asked too much of him, a stranger, by asking him to stay on the line and talk until she fell asleep. He's here because he cares, and it surprises her when it really shouldn't. He's always shown that he cares in his own small ways; from helping her at the market, giving her blueberries, taking her for a milkshake, and wiping the blood from her hands after she fell.
He cares. And it's been a long time since Wanda considered letting a stranger care about her.
"You're here to look in on me." she says, then stops briefly. "You came here to see how I am? This is why?"
Bucky nods, tilting his head to the side as his gaze sweeps her over, searching for answers. She's not sure that he finds any, he's still too difficult, too blurry, for Wanda to read. So she gives up and lets herself focus on the other things, like why he is really here, and how blue his eyes look in this light.
"Yeah, I mean..Us showing up today, that was just a coincidence, but I was probably gonna call or stop by anyway." he admits, watching her closely. "That's okay, right? I know we don't know each other, but it still felt like I should check in."
The words make her think back to last night, to why she needed the call, why she was so consumed with thoughts of her mother and Vishz. Slowly she takes a breath, following Bucky's earlier steps over to the wire fence. Once she's there she leans against it and watches as Bucky trails over, slowly joining here there. He mirrors her, coming over to rest against the fence just as she does.
"It's sweet of you to come by, James." she says, smiling up at him. "But there is nothing for you to check in on. I appreciate it, but I'm fine."
Bucky nods along, looking as if he is convinced, like he isn't going to say anything else about it, but then he changes his mind and gives her another look that shows her that he really isn't all that convinced.
"You sure, red?" he asks gently. "You know you don't have to be fine if you're not. It's okay to not be okay, as they say. Or so I've heard."
"It is sweet of you to come by, I mean that. And I mean this when I say I am okay." she tells him quickly. "There is nothing for you to check in on. I appreciate it, but I am better than okay."
He seems more convinced after this, after her words and the smile she offers him. Last night was just a moment, that's all. It's kind of Bucky to care, to show up here and to ask her about it, but there is nothing to talk about.
It was only a moment.
"You sure?" Bucky asks, seconds later. "You don't have to be okay if you're not."
She nods, certain. "I know. And I am still okay. I think it was just one of those nights."
A look from Bucky tells her that he gets it. His eyes are still kind, still soft, but there's something in the look he gives her that tells her there's more to his than he's saying. He understands, the good nights and the bad ones. Maybe he even understands what she's talking about, what those nights are like. The nights when she is torn between wanting to be alone and needing someone there. That's what last night was, that's all it was.
"You have those often?" he asks. "The bad nights, I mean."
Shrugging, she turns away. Wanda shifts her gaze down to the concrete, before turning it over to her old work boots. When she looks back up at Bucky he's still watching her, still searching.
"Everybody does." she answers, shrugging again. "I have dreams sometimes, that's all. Talking to someone before I sleep can help, sometimes."
She watches quietly as understanding fills his eyes slowly, but she doesn't get much of a chance to look at it before he's moving again. Bucky pushes himself off the fence, lets out a sigh, and takes two or three steps around the little alley, just observing it again. Or just pretending to. Wanda thinks he's just pretending to be interested, while he's really more interested in this and in whatever is currently going on inside of his head.
"Yeah, I know..I know what that's like." Bucky tells her, voice lower when he speaks. "I used to—my friend.."
Another sigh comes from Bucky, as he half-smiles and glances back at her, looking at her as if he doesn't really want to talk about this but at the same time something inside of him does want to.
"Way back in the day, I'd call Steve every now and then. It became a thing, you know. Just to talk to someone." he admits, glancing her over slowly. "We never really talked about it, he never made it weird or anything. But I think he knew that it was just nice, you know? He was there. So yeah, I get that. I get what you're saying and why you asked, and I'm happy to be there."
So he gets it, Wanda thinks, as her gaze sweeps over him. He really gets it, and she finds herself wanting to ask him questions, how and why, but in the end she asks nothing. She just stays with him by the fence, watching him in a way that she hopes will show him that she appreciates this more than she can say. She wishes she could say it, and she wishes she could stay but she can't. Soon she will have to go back inside, back to her job, where she knows she will spend the next few hours thinking about this talk, thinking about him.
For a minute more she stays, coming a few steps closer before she stops in front of him.
"Thank you for coming by. And for saying what you have." she says, smiling a little. "I wish that I could stay, but I should go. Do you have any plans for tonight? I work late, but maybe after.."
He smiles back slowly. "Yeah, I mean..I'd love to. I've got nothing on. You wanna grab a bite to eat?"
Wanda nods, while taking a half-step away. She still wants to say, to talk and to listen, but she needs to go back and she needs to let him get on with his day.
"Yes, that or I could call you again." she suggests. "I will let you know after work? Maybe I will finish early and we can get something to eat."
"Sure." he smiles, eyes bright and kind. "I'd love that, Wanda. Both sound good to me. Just let me know what works for you."
She feels herself smiling back, in a more relaxed, easy way, now that she knows why he is here and what was on his mind. She smiles more than she even means to; it happens without thought, as she looks back to him, to where he's standing by the fence, smiling at her.
"So would I." she says, pausing. "Bucky?"
"Yeah? What's up, red?"
A quiet moment passes, as Wanda considers coming closer. For what? She doesn't know. A hug, maybe. That's what it feels like she comes closer for, it feels like that's what she wants, but at the last minute she stops herself and stays where she is, just a few steps away from him.
"Thank you again. For the call, and for coming over to see me." Wanda calls back, smiling again. "And if there is ever anything I can do..."
"Don't worry, it's not like that. There's nothing to repay. That's just what..Well, I was gonna say that's what friends do but I don't know that we're quite there yet. Are we?"
She shrugs, smiling in response, because she doesn't know what to say. They are strangers to each other, but he feels familiar, and from the way he is around her and how he talks to her Wanda can tell that he feels the same way, too. There is something here. Whatever it is, she doesn't know. But it is there and she can't ignore it. From the way he is watching her now, she knows it is the same for him.
Still smiling, Bucky takes two steps closer.
"Let's just say...That's what strangers, who just met, but who have friends that deeply and intimately know each other...Well, that's what strangers with close friends do. Right? Or something like that?"
First she laughs, then she turns to him, smiling at his words and at a few of the memories that come to her now. It is mostly the memory of that night under the window, where they shared beer, weed, and stories. That is what makes her smile. That, and this: the way he is now, how he comes to stand closer, and the smile he gives her as she thinks it over.
"That sounds..Complicated."
He smiles back slowly. "Yeah, but all the best things in life are. Aren't they? Makes you appreciate the quiet and welcome the calm."
It means more to her than she can think about, more than she can say. He's right. In so many ways, he is right. But for now she refuses to think about all of the ways he is right and what the words mean to her. For now she focuses on this, and Bucky, and on the day ahead of her.
"I guess you are right." she says, smiling. "And I guess I will hear from you or I will see you sometime tonight."
Bucky nods, looking hopeful as he smiles at her. She feels the same.
"I'm looking forward to it."
* * * *
The apartment is empty when Wanda gets home, shortly after 8PM. It's quiet, no one's home, and even the radio is off. She leaves it and walks inside, locking the door and turning towards the open space. Once she's inside, over near the kitchen, she finds a fresh vase of flowers on the table next to a note from the boys, telling her their plans for the night. The note from Pietro reads:
WANDA - will be home tomorrow night after work, we will see you then. P.S. Hope you like the flowers, they are almost as lovely as you. Love always, P.
The bunch of flowers are beautiful, a pretty mix of yellow and blue. She smiles as she lifts them to her face, smelling them, before she places the vase down again and reaches for her phone to send her brother a text, letting him know that she's home and that she loves the flowers. She tells them both to have a good night and then she puts her phone away and carries the note from her brother over to her bedroom, where she quickly strips out of her clothes and goes straight for the shower.
A nice cold shower always helps after work. Today feels like the kind of night where she needs it more, especially after she spent the day convinced she still had orange juice on her. The memory of that moment stays with her, as she cracks open the window in her little bathroom, takes off her shoes, and lets her bare feet rest against the tiles for a while.
From the window in here she can see the city. It's a different view than the one she gets from her bedroom, or from the window in the kitchen. This one is just hers and she likes it. She doesn't come here enough and she knows why that is. She knows why she's avoided coming in here when it's not necessary. It's because of that night, with the drops of blood on the tiles and her ripped stockings.
After a minute of dwelling on that night, Wanda pushes it from her mind and steps into the shower, reaching to turn the water on and then picking up her new body-wash in the corner, right next to a new bottle of shampoo, left there by Pietro. It smells sweet, and fresh, and she enjoys it as it seeps into her skin. When she's done in the shower, Wanda dries off, closes the window again, and returns to her bedroom, with her damp towel around her and all of her hair pulled up onto her head. Most nights she doesn't really care what happens to her hair, if it gets wet in the shower, or if it gets messy and tangled through the night. But tonight she cares a little, because of her plans with Bucky.
It's not a date. It's not even their 'not a date' dinner that is still scheduled for 6PM on Tuesday night. This thing that she's looking forward to, that she's been thinking about all day, isn't a date. It's just dinner on a Sunday night, when Wanda is too tired to cook and she doesn't really feel like eating alone. She could eat in, if she wanted. There's always takeaway, and the food is filled with meals, but she doesn't want to just stay in.
Tonight Wanda wants to go out, to a place he sent her the address to a couple hours ago, called: Sweet Burgerz.
It sounds interesting and she's never been there before, even though it's just a few blocks away from her work. She's looking forward to it because it's been a while since she went out with someone new, and ever since she last spent the night here with Bucky, drinking beer and sharing a joint under the window, she's wanted to see him again. And now she will finally get to see him again, for more than just a few minutes.
But it's still not a date. This is what Wanda tells herself, as she spends ten minutes picking out an outfit for the night. She expects it to take a little longer, since they're not meeting until 9 and it's not even close to 8:30 yet. And already she's showered, picked out an outfit, and is planning how to style her hair.
After she's made that decision, Wanda starts to get ready. She begins with a pair of thin black stockings and she pulls them on slowly, always too aware, too focused, on the memory of that night and the ripped stockings she threw away. The memory stays with her again, as she drags the stockings up, fixes them so they're comfortable and sitting on right, and then she reaches for the black skirt on her bed and pulls it on. The wavy skirt sits high on her waist and hangs just above her knees. Once it's zipped up, Wanda slides on long sleeved red t-shirt, fixes the buttons at the front, then turns to the mirror.
She barely spends a moment looking at herself before she walks over to her seat at the vanity, pulling it out and carefully sitting down as she begins to style her hair. After combing her hair she decides to leave it out, since she's happy enough with the way that it looks. Once her hair is done she adds a little make-up, pulls on a few rings, ties up the laces on her boots, and fixes her hair one last time before she leaves.
In the kitchen she pours herself a glass of wine, drinks half, puts her keys and phone into her purse then returns to finish the rest of the wine. When she's done with the wine she rinses the glass in the sink, places it aside to dry, and takes a seat at the end of the kitchen table. Wanda's only there for about two minutes, maybe three, before she gets up and leaves. She spends the time fidgeting with her keys, or her silver rings, with the purple and dark green gemstones. Then she gets up, gathers her things, and leaves. Outside in the hallway, she locks the apartment door then takes the stairs down to the first floor.
She's not really sure why she's so eager to leave, to get out of here and see him again, but she thinks maybe it's because of how long it's been since she's gone out to dinner with someone new. And maybe it's more than that, maybe it's because of the man she's going to have dinner with. He's charming, and funny, and he makes her laugh. But more than that, there's something in him that she connects to, something she's not sure she's felt with anyone else.
The thoughts of Bucky stay with her, as she takes the stairs down to the lobby, walks out onto the busy street, and starts to walk down the street in the direction of Sweet Burgerz. It's not far, about fifteen minutes from the Green Tides, and that's not far from her apartment at all so it won't take long. She's actually happy to have the time to get there, to walk and enjoy the city. It helps to be out here, to see the city, the people, and to get her mind off all the little things she's trying not to focus on right now. She focuses on Bucky and on the city around her instead, and quickly finds that they both work as distractions from everything else.
On her walk to meet Bucky her mind feels as if it is pulling her back and forth between thoughts of Bucky and of New York city. Soon she only thinks of him, of tonight and what it means. It is just a dinner, just a meal. It isn't a date. He's made it clear that he's not looking for complications, and it's the same with her. It's only a dinner, and she tells herself this over again, so many times that she should believe it, and she does. But the feeling in her stomach stays. It's light, a gentle fluttering, and the closer she gets to the street the more intense it becomes.
This isn't a date, she reminds herself, one more time. And she knows it. This is a last minute dinner, just burgers and fries. Wanda knows this, knows what it is, but at the same time it's like there's a part of herself that can't stop the nerves, can't stop herself from feeling the way she does. And it leaves her with a question that she can't answer: does she wish it was a date?
No. Maybe. She can't answer that. Lately it feels like she struggles at finding answers for anything, but this is different because she already knows her answer. She's known it since they spoke at the back of the bar, and she knows it now. The fluttering in her stomach confirms it.
For a little while she considers turning back, going home to her apartment to eat in, to spend another night alone. She could paint, have a glass or two or wine, and go to sleep high. It's something she considers but not for long, because she realizes that she's already made a decision and this is it. She wants to do this, wants to spend time with him. She doesn't want to turn back because she wants to have fun, to be distracted, to distract him. There is something about his company that she welcomes, something that she thinks about when he is gone. It leaves her curious, longing for more, always longing for a little more, and she thinks maybe that's because all the time they've spent together always seems to end.
At the markets he left, they were strangers then, he had no reason to stay. Then there was Peggy's place where he left minutes after arriving, for no clear reason at all. After Stark's, when he was at her apartment, he left again but only because it had been a long night. And lastly there was this morning, he left because he had to, because she had work and he couldn't stay. But this, tonight, it's different.
It doesn't have to end so suddenly, it won't end so quickly. Tonight they'll have more time then they've had and there will be no other distractions, no men walking into her and crushing her blueberries, and no ghosts showing up like at Stark's party. It will just be them and there is something about this that excites Wanda.
And it's just as she's starting to feel excited that she looks up and spots the sign on the street up ahead. SWEET BURGERZ is glowing, in bright blue and green letters, above a wide and busy restaurant.
When Wanda gets close she stops outside, giving herself a minute to take it in. Everything is busy, and bright, and happy. All the customers inside, all the staff tending to them, look happy. It looks calm, and loud, and alive, and she watches on quietly from the outside as she thinks about the night to come. After a few minutes go by, she reaches for her phone in her purse to check the time. She's still too early, he won't be here for a while, so she decides to find somewhere to wait and have a cigarette.
It always happens. She always goes so well, nearly quits, nearly gives them up. She's so close, and then she gives in again. Wanda tries not to think about it, about her brother's disapproval, and the fact that these little things aren't any good for her. It stays with her, faintly in the back of her mind, as she pops an unlit cigarette between her lips and walks over to an empty space at the edge of Sweet Burgerz, where she gently leans back into the brick wall and lights her cigarette.
She wants to quit, needs to quit. One day, she tells herself, and maybe it's another lie or maybe it will become a resolution for the new year. With that on her mind, Wanda presses herself back against the wall a little more and lifts her head, to study the traffic on the streets and the strangers passing by. They are all interesting to her. She thinks if she had the time she could sit and watch them living, and laughing, and simply existing, for hours and hours.
Her mind is back on the city, on the people living in it, the ones walking past her at this very moment on their way out, or their way home for the day, to loved ones, and it makes her think of her home. Their little apartment, that they once shared with just the two of them. Clint's been here for a while, but they don't always stay in. The two of them often stay at his place, in the city, or out at the farm, and sometimes they are home with her but there have been weeks when she's barely seen them, barely heard from them, and thinking of that, thinking of all these strangers, makes her wonder if they will be going back to empty homes tonight, too.
After inhaling on the cigarette once more, Wanda pulls it away, ready to crush it out with her boot and discard it to the side. But when she lifts her head up and looks through the busy crowds, she spots Bucky walking away and she forgets, for a second, about everything else.
He's early, too. Maybe he just happened to be early, or maybe he couldn't wait, maybe he was just as excited as she was. She's not sure what it was or why he's here so early, she just knows that she's happy to see him here. Happy. A fleeting feeling. It only strikes her now what that means, that she is happy to see this man, this stranger, that she barely knows but still feels like in some way she does know, better than others she's known and worked with for years.
Bucky doesn't see her, not at first. His head is down and he's walking across the street, on his way over to the patch of pavement that Wanda's on outside of the restaurant. As she watches him she forgets about the city, the lights, and all of the people going by. She forgets it all and watches Bucky, fixated on him and the way the city lights glow against his face.
Her next thought is about the way he looks tonight. He's always looks good, even at the market, and that day in the park. She thought of him occasionally, after their run in at the markets, after he helped her pick up her crushed flowers. She remembers thinking that he was handsome, and that his eyes were a lovely blue. Tonight he looks just as handsome as he did that day. Dressed in a dark denim jacket, with a black v-neck shirt underneath and a pair of black jeans on—he looks nice, more than that, and at first she is lost for the words.
Wanda thinks it over, thinks about how good that denim looks on him, and how his dark hair is tucked back behind his ears. For a reason she's not entirely sure of, she almost wants to reach out and touch the long strands. She quickly pushes that thought aside and watches on, as Bucky starts to walk up the pavement towards her. When he's almost at the restaurant he lifts his head to check his surroundings and that's when he sees her watching him.
He stills for a second, or at least it looks like he does. Then he smiles, lifting his head more to look up at her. Wanda's not sure why she waves at him but she does. She regrets it after, wondering why she waved when he's only just a few steps away, but she doesn't dwell on it. With her cigarette burning out between two fingers, she takes a few steps forward to get to Bucky.
When he reaches her, he can't hide his smile.
"Hey, you're here. Wow, you look—Um, wow. It's great to see you. Again." he smiles, coming to stand in front of her. "I'm really glad you could make it tonight."
Wanda smiles back, immediately feeling as if all of the other thoughts on her mind are gone now. She's not sure how he does that, how he takes the other thoughts away and leaves her just thinking about him. He distracts her, but it's more than that. She welcomes it and smiles a little more, glancing him over again, in a more subtle way this time. Then she meets his eyes and realizes that this is one of those moments where she's not really sure what to do.
Do they hug? Shake hands? Or do they do nothing at all? Wanda quietly feels uncertain, and without thinking she leans in and kisses Bucky on the cheek, feeling a little relieved that as she starts to come close that Bucky does, too. When his lips brush against her cheek she feels that same fluttering in her stomach, but she swallows it down and lifts her head, smiling again.
"So you are claiming that this is the best place in the city for burgers?" Wanda asks, tilting her head to the side. "I am curious now if it will live up to all of your big talk, or if you just made it up to impress me."
Slowly grinning, he glances between her and the restaurant.
"Trust me, I don't need to talk big to impress you. That's not what this is." he turns back, smiling. "It's gonna live up to the talk. Actually, red, it's gonna do more than that."
"Really?" she asks, curious. "You would say it is going to..Blow my mind? Or something like this?"
Bucky's smile suddenly widens, becoming brighter and more playful. And with just this smile Wanda decides that she made the right decision to come here tonight, to not give up and go home. She needs this, and something tells her that he needs it, too.
"Yeah, exactly. Something exactly like that."
After glancing back inside curiously, Bucky turns back to her, tucks his hands into the pocket of his denim jacket, and joins her where she's standing near the wall. He seems comfortable around her, as comfortable as she feels around him, and that leaves her smiling as he looks back to her, still curious.
"You wanna go get a table and some drinks? Then you can take a look at the menu, see what you want." he says. "It's gonna be a hard choice, picking just one beautiful burger off that list. You think you're up for the challenge?"
"Mmm, I think I can manage." she nods, smiling. "I will just finish my cigarette, then I will meet you in there?"
Bucky shrugs, smiling. "It's alright, I'm in no rush. You got a spare?"
She's quick to reach into her purse, to pull out her crumpled packet of cigarettes and red lighter. After finding them she hands them to Bucky, who walks a little closer to her, out of the way of the people going in and out of the restaurant, or moving steadily along the street. Wanda turns to him slowly, watching as he puts the cigarette between his lips and lifts the lighter to it. That's when she notices that he's got the black gloves on again. She says nothing, she barely lingers on them, but she is still curious. It becomes something she decides to think about later though and she looks away, until he passes her the packet of cigarettes back and she packs them away into her bag again.
"So, how was work?" he asks, exhaling on the cigarette. "Was it good? Or, and I feel like this is what happened..It got considerably worse after I left?"
As she leans back into the wall, she can't help but smile. Bucky catches it and it just amuses him more. For a second after she thinks about her answer, she thinks about being honest, or making him laugh, and in the end she comes up with the perfect answer.
"Oh, yes. Of course. You and Sam were obviously the—umm, how do you say it? The highlight of my day? This is right?"
"Yep, that's it. That's definitely it." he laughs, while tucking a hand into his pocket. "And look, that's real sweet of you to say. But it's okay, you don't have to pretend. I can take it. Between you and I, Wilson can be a bit of a jerk sometimes. But you didn't hear that from me."
Now she is the one amused, hiding her smile behind her cigarette. She stays like this for a minute, until she moves the cigarette to rest between her thumb and pointer finger, leaving it like this for a minute or two.
"So this is also like how Clint was...What did you say he was?"
"Selfish. Messy." he smiles, barely able to keep down a laugh. "And completely self-absorbed. I'm a giver, and Barton's just a taker."
With the cigarette resting between her fingers, there's nothing for Wanda to use to hide her smile. She chews down on her bottom lip and maybe it works, or maybe it doesn't. She doesn't mind; eventually the smile comes through and she looks away, laughing quietly to herself as her gaze shifts from the pavement, back up to Bucky.
"I think you exaggerate. You tell stories. Because I have known Clint for a while, for almost as long as he has been dating my brother. And I know that he is none of these things. Messy? Yes, sometimes. But not really. So I think this is you talking big again."
At first, Bucky doesn't seem to really know what to say. He smiles a little, laughs, looks as if he's going to say something, then he laughs again.
"Really?" he asks. "That so?"
"Yes. And I also think that you like your friends, especially Sam and Clint, very much. You pretend that you don't to make jokes, but you are just trying to be funny. Do you do this to all of your friends?"
Bucky blows out a little smoke before he answers, smile still there, eyes still warm and glowing, from the city lights and from the good mood he is clearly in right now.
"Nah, not all. Mostly just Barton and Wilson. Sometimes Steve." he answers, pausing briefly. "But yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe underneath it all I'm just a big softy."
"Mmm. Maybe." she nods along, while dragging her boot over the concrete. "Maybe you are or maybe you're not. I don't know what you are yet."
It only says strange after she says it, after she hears it; I don't know what you are yet. Yet. The way it sounds makes it seem like she wants to know him, wants to know what he's really like, who he is really is, and maybe she does but she definitely doesn't want to be talking about that right now. She quickly looks away, down to her boots, as Bucky inhales on his cigarette again.
"What about you, Wanda?" he asks a few seconds later. "Why don't you tell me something I don't know about you? I'm a softy. What about you?"
She considers it, slowly lifting her gaze. "Why don't you tell me something you think you know about me?"
"Yeah?" he asks, exhaling smoke. "Like what?"
"I said..You talk big. You are not so suave. And you are a softy. So tell me, what do you think about me?"
This time he takes a minute to really think about it, and while he's thinking it over Wanda is left wishing she could crawl into his head and know what he is thinking, especially when he is looking at her the way that he is right now. She wants to know, needs to know, and it seems like the minute that he takes to think about it stretches on for much longer than it really does and by the time he finally speaks again she is almost bursting with anticipation.
"I think you like to have fun."
Wanda considers it, then half-shrugs. "So? That is all? That is nothing. What else?"
He doesn't take half as long to answer this one, and it makes her wonder if this was his answer all along, if he thought this from the start but went with the easy answer first.
"You're tough. You have a good sense of humor. And you're sweet, too."
It lingers in the quiet comes after. She wishes she could just focus on the last bits, you're sweet, too. But instead of thinking about that, she can only focus on the first part. Tough. She thinks of shaking in the bathroom, wiping crusted blood from her thighs and throwing away torn stockings. You're tough. Tough. She thinks of those first weeks they moved to New York, all those night she cried and cried, missing home, missing her parents.
Wanda is quick to look away from Bucky, down to her boots, before she steps away to crush her cigarette out on the ground. After throwing it aside she comes back, only realizing now how long she's kept him waiting.
"And soft at heart, like you?" she asks, slowly smiling. "Or maybe not so much?"
"Maybe. Or maybe not." Bucky answers warmly. "I don't know you that well. Yet."
That same feeling comes back to her, for that one little word. Yet. It means something, then and now, this much is clear. She can tell that it means something to him, too. He is quietly hopeful as she is, and there is something comforting in that.
"Yet?" she asks. "You are very confident about that. Aren't you?"
With a shrug, he looks away. "Yeah, well, so were you." he smiles, turning back. "Didn't really mean it like that, though. Guess I'm just being hopeful."
There's something in the way that Bucky looks when he says this, something that glows in his eyes (hope, or maybe happiness) that Wanda recognizes and quickly she realizes that she feels the same way. It leaves her smiling, as her eyes flicker between Bucky and the restaurant.
"Do you want to go in now?" she asks. "I am hungry and now I really need to know if this place has the best burgers."
"Oh, yeah. They're great. They're sweet. You'll love it." Bucky says, stepping away to stub out his cigarette. "You see what I did there? Sweet? You get it?"
Grinning, she takes a step to the door. Bucky quickly joins her side, after he crushes out his cigarette. He turns to her as they make their way to the door, still smiling.
"Yes, unfortunately. I get it."
"What? That's not a good joke?" he smirks, while reaching for the door. "Damn. That's too bad. I've been working on that since I got here."
A bell above the door rings as Bucky opens it, and a delicious aroma quickly spills outside, leaving Wanda with a smile that she can't hide. Already she knows that he is right about this place, that they will have delicious food here. But for now she can't think about it. For the moment she can only watch Bucky as he steps aside, leaving enough space for Wanda to step through.
"You ready?" asks.
Wanda nods. "Uncertain. But still..Excited."
"There's nothing to worry about. You're not gonna be disappointed, doll. I promise."