"You See, There Was This Moth..."
After a quick word with Mycroft, the Doctor directed the Tardis to a closed hanger area owned by the British Government, alongside an army base camp, which Mycroft stated could be used for whatever training the team felt was necessary.
“Oh, yes, this is perfect!” the Doctor decided, tasting the air of the musty, cool building before clapping his hands together. “Now! We’re going to need a practise dummy!”
Hannah blanched. “Forget it, Doctor, I draw the line at some things!”
“Oh, not you, Hannah!” the Doctor replied. “You’re not a Cyberman, well, not quite, anyway!”
He patted her shoulder and bustled back into the Tardis.
“What did he mean by that?” Harry asked, frowning.
“I’ll explain later,” Hannah said as the Doctor know dragged a rather strange object from inside the Tardis. It consisted of a dressmaker’s dummy on wheels with what looked like the arms from a suit of armour attached to the sides of it, and topped with an actual Cyberman head.
“Everyone, say hello to Handles,” the Doctor smiled, proudly, folding his arms.
“Handles?” Hannah repeated. “You gave that thing a name?”
“What’s wrong with that, Hannah? You have a name, don’t you? Anyway,” the Doctor added, before Hannah could respond to his cheek of having just compared her to an inanimate Cyberman head, “um...Harry, let’s have your best spell.”
Harry, somewhat nervous about being the first to be called up, a bit like being back in Hogwarts again, took a tentative step forwards and slowly pulled his wand from the pocket of his jeans. The others stepped back to give him some room as the Doctor offered him an encouraging smile. Harry took a deep breath and then with a flick of the wand exclaimed in a loud, clear voice “Expelliarmus!”
The effect was startling even to those who knew it was coming as Handles shot back across the room and hit the opposite wall with a loud THUD!
The Doctor grinned. “Excellent! Who’s next?”
James laughed, nervously. “Hope you mean for taking on that dummy, Doctor, not being it!”
The others laughed.
“I’ll try it, Doctor,” Merlin ventured, taking a step forwards.
The Doctor quickly retrieved Handles and shoved him back into position. “Whenever you’re ready, Merlin.”
Merlin held up a hand and muttered the correct incantation for a jet of fire to shoot from his hand and right through the mannequin holding up Handles. The others blinked as he ventured a nervous “Oops, bit strong.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin,” the Doctor smiled. “If that had been a real Cyberman, you’d have just saved everyone in this room from being Deleted.”
Merlin smiled, sheepishly, at the rest of the group. “I’m not used to letting other people see my magic. Back in Camelot, it’s punishable by death.”
The Doctor frowned. “Uther commands that?”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“Hm.” The Doctor shook his head with a thoughtful frown. “Let’s hope Arthur becomes King quickly then.”
“Doctor,” John said, glancing from Handles to Merlin. “You’re not planning to use Dalek guns on...that, are you? Otherwise we won’t have anything to practise on.”
“Oh, no, you can use proper targets for that,” the Doctor replied, cheerfully, folding his arms. “We’re right by an army base, John, don’t forget, there’s plenty of them around.”
“Isn’t that going to be kind of dangerous, Doctor?” Hannah asked, warily.
“Only if we point them at each other,” the Doctor shrugged. “Beside, it’ll just be a demonstration, Hannah, doesn’t really matter where you shoot a Cyberman as long as you hit it. Loki, you’re up next.”
“Me, Doctor?”
The Doctor turned to him in surprise. “Of course, I want to make sure you can-”
Handles was suddenly blasted from behind and the others had to spring apart like curtains in order to avoid being hit by it. Grinning, the real Loki tossed the sceptre up in one hand and caught it deftly. “I’ve missed this.”
The Doctor laughed as Loki waved away the illusion he had just been distracted by. “Well done, Loki, you had me there!”
“Well, I think it proved a point, Doctor,” Loki smirked, looking meaningfully at Sherlock.
“And how do you know a Cyberman’s going to fall for that?” Sherlock responded, snarky as ever. “Have you ever met one?”
“They’re part human, and humans are easier to fool,” Loki retorted, before glancing over at Hannah. “Most of the time.”
“Nice save,” Hannah smiled.
“Actually, Sherlock, since Cybermen do focus a lot more logically than humans, they would be more likely to fall for a trick like that than you would,” the Doctor added, “clever as they might be, they can be gullible given the right amount of intelligence to work with.”
Loki did his best not to look too smug.
“Go on, then, Hannah, you’re up,” the Doctor added.
“But you know what I can do, Doctor,” Hannah protested.
“Oh, go on, you know you want to!” the Doctor grinned, prodding her forwards.
Hannah sighed and took a deep breath before forming a ball of icy wind in her hands and then thrusting it towards Handles. The blast sent the mannequin flying backwards and eventually toppling over before it could hit the wall.
“Whoa...” Harry muttered.
The Doctor grinned. “Hannah, get the hanger doors open. You three,” he indicated Sherlock, John and James, “come with me.”
“Get the doors open, he says,” Hannah muttered, crossing over to them and then trying to figure out how the hell to do it. A quick “Alohamora,” from Harry, however, soon had them open.
“Impressive,” Loki mused, without sarcasm.
The Doctor came back, carrying a Dalek gun and held it up for everyone to see. “Right, now everyone listen up because this is very, very important! On no account are you to leave these switched on unless you’re using them! I’ve seen too many good people killed by Daleks, I don’t want anyone in this room going the same way! And no aiming them at each other, even as a joke!” So saying he casually tossed the thing into Hannah’s arms, and she jumped, making sure to grab it before it could hit the floor and accidently go off. “Let’s go!”
Hannah hoisted the gun over her shoulder and they followed the Doctor out into the camp. Merlin jogged closer to her as they went. “How does that thing work?” he asked.
“Magic,” Hannah shrugged, finding it was probably the simplest explanation.
“Right, now Hannah’s going to demonstrate how to use one of these safely,” the Doctor said, indicating a target up ahead. “Hannah.”
Hoisting the gun into the correct position, Hannah flicked her fringe out of her eyes before taking careful aim at the target. “Safety off,” she instructed, demonstrating, “point and shoot.” The sound of the blast as well as the sheer force of it caused everyone else to jump as the target shattered into oblivion. Replacing the safety catch, Hannah held the gun out to James. “All yours.”
“Alright, that’s frightening,” James muttered, taking it from her.
The Doctor just smiled, grimly, and watched everyone take a turn at destroying a target. “Aliens are frightening, James,” he stated, “well, when they’re hostile at any rate. We’ve met some good ones too, haven’t we, Hannah?”
“Yeah, like the Ood,” Hannah agreed. “They were nice.”
“And the Arcateenians,” the Doctor reminded her.
And the Vinvocci.”
“And the Forest of Cheem.”
John laughed. “Alright, alien name-dropping or what?”
“So they don’t all have Earth invasion on their minds, then?” James asked.
The Doctor grinned. “No, aliens are like humans, you get good ones and bad ones.”
Harry looked thoughtful. “My godfather once said that we’re not divided like that, Doctor, that we’ve all got light and dark inside us.”
“Ah, yes, and he’s right,” the Doctor replied, gently, “it’s how we use them that makes us what we are.” He glanced over at Loki who said nothing but the Doctor could tell that he was taking those words to heart. “Anyway, moving on, how fast can you lot run?”
Hannah rolled her eyes. This was going to be a long, long day.
XXX
Later, much, much later, time found Hannah, Sherlock, John, Loki, Merlin, Harry and James all sitting against the hanger walls, attempting to get their breath back as the Doctor popped his head around the Tardis doorway and called “Come on, what are you lot all sitting around for? I’m being very, very, exceptionally clever back here and there’s no one to see it!”
“Doctor, you’ve had us running about non-stop for about two hours!” Hannah exclaimed. “We haven’t all got your energy!”
The Doctor winced. “Three and a half hours, actually, Hannah.”
Hannah groaned as Sherlock muttered “Knew it!”
“That’s not good,” John panted. “Even professional athletes don’t train non-stop.”
“And they don’t do it in heels, either,” Hannah added, sticking out her foot to remind them that she was still wearing her high-heeled boots.
“Alright,” the Doctor sighed, but fondly, they noticed, “then let’s rest for a minute. I know, I’ll make you all a nice hot drink!”
Hannah suddenly seemed to get a burst of energy back as she scrabbled to her feet. “No, I’ll do that, Doctor! You know I don’t trust you in the kitchen!”
The Doctor pouted, looking somewhat hurt as the others chuckled. “Hannah! I’m very hurt!”
“You’ll get over it,” Hannah sighed, dragging herself over to the Tardis, and then glancing at the others, indicating Sherlock and Loki in particular. “Boys, play nice while I’m gone.”
“Oh, honestly, Hannah,” the Doctor sighed, leaning against the Tardis console as she closed the doors behind her. “Humans! Don’t get me wrong, I love them, love them, love them, love them, but they do have their downsides too. Ow!” he added, automatically, as Hannah swatted at him in passing.
“We don’t all have two hearts, Doctor,” she reminded him, and then decided to venture something that had been bothering her for a while. “Doctor...”
“Mm?”
"I couldn't help noticing,” Hannah said, carefully, “earlier that when Loki was telling us his story, you had the Truth Field on."
The Doctor looked embarrassed. "Um, yes, Hannah, I did."
"Do you not trust him?"
"Of course I trust him, Hannah," the Doctor insisted. "I just had to make sure that it was really Loki we were talking to, that the Chitauri weren't still in control of his mind. I mean I suspected mind control when Mycroft first told us about the attack on New York, and I had to check that the link was really broken. What have I always told you about underestimating aliens, Hannah? We did that once with the Graske and look what happened."
Hannah nodded, grimly. "I wonder if they ever found Stavros's head."
The Doctor grinned. "Hey, Hannah, you know Stavros rhymes with Davros?"
Hannah rolled her eyes. The Doctor had started up his Rhyming Game again. "I'm going to go and make some cocoa," she decided, "and you know what rhymes with that, Doctor? Loco, which is exactly what you are."
"Oh, come on, Hannah, that's not fair, play with me properly," the Doctor begged, running after her.
Hannah shook her head. "Just go and see if the others want cocoa rather than tea, will you?"
Outside the Tardis, the others were finally beginning to get over the Doctor’s “training,” if that was what you could even call running laps whilst pretending that they were being chased by an army of Cybermen – or “Cyberarmy,” as the Doctor called it. John glanced over at Loki and decided to ask politely “So...how long have you actually known the Doctor and Hannah?”
Loki looked up in surprise, not really used to having been noticed for once. “Since I was a child,” he replied. “They’ve sort of...jumped in and out of my life, really.”
“They do tend to do that,” Sherlock mused.
“Is he actually mad or has he just been drinking coffee today?” Harry asked, frowning.
“I wouldn’t say he was mad,” John began.
“I would,” Sherlock muttered.
“Shut up, Sherlock.”
“What? The man married Elizabeth the First, that in itself isn’t the trait of a sane person.”
Loki and Merlin both looked confused but James and Harry frowned.
“I thought she was the Virgin Queen?” James said.
“Well, obviously the history books lied,” Sherlock quipped, causing laughter amongst the group again.
“Hey, Hannah wants to know if you lot want cocoa rather than tea,” the Doctor began, popping his head out of the Tardis again, and then seeing that they were all laughing, frowned and emerged properly with his hands on his hips. “What? Stop it! Oh, this is Sarah Jane and Rose all over again!”
Merlin managed to sober up and change the subject by asking “What’s cocoa, Doctor?”
“A very sweet, hot, thick drink, Merlin,” the Doctor replied, still regarding the others with a stern expression.
“Well, I’ll try some of that.”
“Me too, Doctor,” Loki added.
John nodded. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Harry agreed.
James nodded too.
“Digestion slows me down, Doctor, you know that,” Sherlock sighed.
“Oh, so that’s what’s been the matter with you all day, then?” Loki quipped.
Sherlock glared at him.
“Alright, you two,” the Doctor chided, like a parent with unruly children. “And you know Hannah’ll just make you drink it anyway, Sherlock, so-” He stuck his head back inside the Tardis and shouted “Yes, cocoa for all, Hannah!”
“Ok!” Hannah called back.
“So, what were we all talking about?” the Doctor added, cheerfully.
“We were talking about how I first met you, Doctor,” Loki lied, quickly, and even Sherlock had to admire him for that skill, although of course he would never admit to it. “That time you first came to Asgard.”
“Ah, yes!” the Doctor replied, sliding down to sit beside him. “And what a great day that was too! Ooh, excellent, Hannah,” he added as she came back with a tray of cocoa. Sherlock grudgingly took one, knowing Hannah well enough by now that if he refused it, she’d be one step away from pouring it into a drip and force-feeding it to him. “I remember it like it was yesterday, we’d just visited a quiet little planet called Adolphus Rigar with great big lush jungles filled with animals most of you have never even heard of, and the first thing that happened when we touched down was...”
By the time he had finished and everyone had finished their cocoa, even Sherlock, and was feeling quite refreshed and energised again, Mycroft had walked into the room.
“Just thought I’d see how you are all doing,” he informed them, slyly, before noticing the disintegrated targets outside the open hanger doors. “What on earth happened?”
The group glanced at one another.
“Well, you see,” the Doctor began, with a playful grin, “there was this moth...”